台北最有質感 實力之英文聚會 協助您增進英文口語流暢的能力
情緒急救
Emotional First Aid By Nicholette Leanza
We wouldn’t think twice about grabbing a bandage for our burned finger or getting a cast for our teen’s arm due to their epic skateboarding mishap. So why don’t we use first aid for our mental health?
Anyone who’s struggled with a painful heartbreak or the death of a loved one knows that emotional injuries can be just as crippling as physical ones.
Psychologist Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid, recommends some ways to practice this special kind of first aid:
Recognize when you’re in emotional pain. Physical pain is the body’s way of telling us that something is wrong. This goes for emotional pain as well. If you experienced a rejection, failure or some other life tribulation that you just can’t get over, then you need to pay attention to that emotional injury. Believe it or not, it won’t go away if you simply ignore it. Psychological wounds often manifest as physical symptoms such as headaches and illnesses. Reach out to others for support and find additional ways to relieve this pain. Try journaling to help get out all those nasty feelings.
Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Thoughts like “I’m so stupid” or “I just can’t get anything right” drag down your self-esteem and make it more difficult to be emotionally resilient. Show yourself some compassion. You wouldn’t let your loved ones or friends beat themselves up while they were down, so don’t do it to yourself. Change what you tell yourself by substituting a negative remark with a positive one. Try writing or texting yourself supportive things to help build your self-compassion.
Distract yourself from rumination. Repeatedly replaying distressing events in your mind is not a helpful way to heal from emotional wounds. The best way to disrupt unhealthy rumination is to distract yourself by doing something positive. One thing you can do is to engage in something that requires concentration, such as completing a crossword or playing a game on an electronic device. Physical exercise is another way to distract yourself from ruminating. Take a walk or a run to help clear out that cluttered mind. Even just a few minutes of distraction will reduce your negative focus.
Redefine your view of failure. Failing to reach a desired goal (or whatever else you may deem as failure) compels you to focus on what you can’t do instead of what you can do. Don’t dwell on your shortcomings; it only perpetuates your self-criticism. Learn to ignore that negative voice of helplessness. Make a list of what you could control and change if you were to try again. This will reduce your feelings of powerlessness and improve your chances of future success. Persistence is the key to overcoming failure. Henry Ford said it best: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Q:
How to deal with emotional injuries?
Who you ask for help when you’re in emotional pain?
Where you seek for support when you feel down?
What do you think about psychologists?
How to deal with negative remarks
How to have a positive attitude?
扼殺夢想的方法
5 Ways to Kill Your
Dreams --by Bel Pesce, syndicated from
ted.com
One: Believe in
overnight success. You know the story, right? The tech guy built a mobile app
and sold it very fast for a lot of money. You know, the story may seem real,
but I bet it's incomplete. If you go investigate further, the guy has done 30
apps before and he has done a master's on the topic, a Ph.D. He has been
working on the topic for 20 years.
This is really
interesting, I myself have a story in Brazil that people think is an overnight
success. I come from a humble family, and two weeks before the deadline to
apply to MIT, I started the application process. And, voila! I got in. People
may think it's an overnight success, but that only worked because for the 17
years prior to that, I took life and education seriously. Your overnight
success story is always a result of everything you've done in your life through
that moment.
Two: Believe someone
else has the answers for you. Constantly, people want to help out, right? All
sorts of people: your family, your friends, your business partners, they all
have opinions on which path you should take: "And let me tell you, go
through this pipe." But whenever you go inside, there are other ways you
have to pick as well. And you need to make those decisions yourself. No one
else has the perfect answers for your life. And you need to keep picking those
decisions, right? The pipes are infinite and you're going to bump your head,
and it's a part of the process.
Three, and it's very
subtle but very important: Decide to settle when growth is guaranteed. So when
your life is going great, you have put together a great team, and you have
growing revenue, and everything is set -- time to settle. When I launched my
first book, I worked really, really hard to distribute it everywhere in Brazil.
With that, over three million people downloaded it, over 50,000 people bought
physical copies.When I wrote a sequel, some impact was guaranteed. Even if I
did little, sales would be okay. But okay is never okay. When you're growing
towards a peak, you need to work harder than ever and find yourself another
peak. Maybe if I did little, a couple hundred thousand people would read it,
and that's great already. But if I work harder than ever, I can bring this
number up to millions. That's why I decided, with my new book, to go to every
single state of Brazil. And I can already see a higher peak. There's no time to
settle down.
Fourth tip, and
that's really important: Believe the fault is someone else's. I constantly see
people saying,"Yes, I had this great idea, but no investor had the vision
to invest." "Oh, I created this great product, but the market is so
bad, the sales didn't go well." Or, "I can't find good talent; my
team is so below expectations." If you have dreams, it's your
responsibility to make them happen. Yes, it may be hard to find talent. Yes,
the market may be bad. But if no one invested in your idea, if no one bought
your product, for sure, there is something there that is your fault. (Laughter)
Definitely. You need to get your dreams and make them happen. And no one
achieved their goals alone. But if you didn't make them happen, it's your fault
and no one else's. Be responsible for your dreams.
And one last tip, and
this one is really important as well: Believe that the only things that matter
are the dreams themselves. Once I saw an ad, and it was a lot of friends, they
were going up a mountain, it was a very high mountain, and it was a lot of
work. You could see that they were sweating and this was tough. And they were
going up, and they finally made it to the peak. Of course, they decided to
celebrate, right? I'm going to celebrate, so, "Yes! We made it, we're at
the top!" Two seconds later, one looks at the other and says, "Okay,
let's go down." (Laughter)
Life is never about
the goals themselves. Life is about the journey. Yes, you should enjoy the
goals themselves, but people think that you have dreams, and whenever you get
to reaching one of those dreams, it's a magical place where happiness will be
all around. But achieving a dream is a momentary sensation, and your life is
not. The only way to really achieve all of your dreams is to fully enjoy every
step of your journey. That's the best way.
Q:
What are the factors
that will kill your dreams?
Do you believe in
overnight success?
How to make an
important decisions?
How to get your
dreams happen?
Avoid stupid
arguments, complaints
What are your life goals
at this moment?
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