週二(10/3)1.學習放下 2.Seafood 妙禪

板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:00--9:30

學習放下

How to Learn to Let Go of Things    wiki

Letting go of past hurts and injustices can be difficult. People often want some sort of closure or revenge for having been hurt. Unfortunately, holding on to this kind of pain only makes things worse on you. To move on with your life, you have to let go of the past. Try to express your pain, forgive, and move on with your life.

    1

    Connect with another person. Go to social gatherings and spend time with friends or make new ones. Allowing yourself to have genuine connections with other people will start giving you positive experiences to talk about and relate to. These experiences can start shifting a negative mindset to a more optimistic one.

      

    2

    Find a creative outlet. Create works of art to help your brain integrate emotions and thoughts. By creating something, you form new neural pathways in your brain and utilize your entire brain during the process. Aside from being a great way to pour your focus into something positive, creating a work of art can be healing.

        This does not have to be a “traditional” kind of art. You might choose to paint a picture, but you can create art in many other ways, too. For example, you could build a birdhouse as a creative project, or use online coloring apps or puzzles.

    3

    Join a support group. Support groups will allow you to connect directly with people who are struggling with the same pains. These groups will allow you to share your story and encourage others with similar stories. You will also be held accountable for taking steps to heal yourself since you will be talking about it at each meeting.

  

 4

    Take time to remember the person. Whether the person is an ex, a friend, or a relative you need to take some time to remember your relationship. Remember the good parts as well as the bad parts. Make an effort to see the person as a whole and look past the one incident that has hurt you. Doing so will help you empathize with the person and forgive them.

        For example, if your friend said something that hurt you, acknowledge that the same friend has said things that made you happy before, too. You don’t have remain friends, but you will retain a level of respect for them as a person. Assess if only one or two things have been said, or if there has been a repetitive pattern over time.

        

    5

    Move on with your life. Let go of the things or people that have hurt you in the past. Holding onto this hurt only hurts you, not the person. This hurt can also be carried over to new relationships, friendships, and even careers. Learn a lesson from this pain, but forgive the person and move on, and remember that forgiving does not mean that you return to having the same degree of connection or intimacy. It has more to do with freeing yourself up.

        Forgive an old partner for hurting you in a relationship.

        Forgive a friend that did something wrong.

        Forgive your family members for things that happened in your childhood.

   Q:

How to learn to let go of things?   

How to deal with injustice & unfairness?

How to overcome hurt and start moving on with your life?

How to forgive someone who has hurt you?

What are the tips to stop anger?

What are the benefits of joining a social club?

 

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周六(9/30)1.馬屁影響判斷力! 2.拒絕誘惑! 下午 4:00-6:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

左轉     聚會時間:  PM 4:00-6:00

馬屁影響判斷力!

Why are we persuaded by Flattery?         Usimprints   James Curtis

Today we’re going to take an in-depth, under-the-hood look at Flattery and its effects on our decision making. Under the microscope will be a great study from a few years back that sheds a lot of new light, and might have some of us rethinking our use of flattery in all wakes of life.

I like to think that we generally are less susceptible to blatant flattery in today’s society, whether from the stereotypical used car salesman to a bachelor looking to score a date, or even a daughter trying to get her mom to take her to see Catching Fire – flattery is still one of the most common ways we try to get what we want.

If flattery effective? Is it a cheap trick that can drive away customers? You’ll find many in various camps, but what does research say?

There have been a lot of fascinating studies on flattery. I would like to think that insincere, bogus flattery can put you worse off than if you hadn’t used it, though many studies have shown that flattery is, in fact, effective. At least up to a point.

The good news is that the general notion and initial studies suggest that flattering comments are discounted. As a result, when we receive flattering comments, we adjust our initial favorable reactions.

Up until a few years ago, most studies led us to believe that after we receive and process flattering compliments, we throw out how we initially felt entirely, and replace it with our true feelings. A study in the The Journal of Marketing Research conducted by Marketing Professors, Elaine Chan and Jaideep Sengputa, build on this notion (Insincere Flatter Actually Works: A Dual Attitude Perspective).

What they suggest is that instead of our initial feelings being overwritten by the new ones, the initial response co-exists with our adjusted response. Maybe the store employee told me that I look good in the pants I was trying on just because they tell everyone that to try to persuade them to buy the pants, but the fact that I recognize this as an insincere sales tactic does not mean that the positive reaction I felt when I first heard it is overwritten. It still plays a factor in my decision to buy or not.

Flattery resides in a galaxy of attitudes. You’re going to want to remember a few terms (bolded).

I like to think of it as a roller coaster. The train represents flattering comments that are pushed down the big drop. It hits you fast and sudden, drawing out what is referred to as an implicit attitude or response. Put your hands up and scream! Then a little later, you loop back around, and finally end up at the end of the ride.

The implicit attitude is an automatic, uncontrolled response to the flattery, or any other interaction. So when someone tells you, “Seeing you smile is better than watching the sunset,” the way you feel immediately after hearing that is your implicit attitude.

Q:

What are the factors affect our judgments?

How do you feel when someone tells you, “Seeing you smile is better than watching the sunset,”?

How do you respond to flattery?

Why are we persuaded by flattery? 

What are the factors that influence customer purchase decisions?

How to persuade people?

 

拒絕誘惑!

Ways to resist temptation   Tiffany Fletcher

    In a world where temptation surrounds us, it is difficult to avoid. It often sneaks up on us when we aren’t even looking. I’m not necessarily talking about the big temptations, like stealing or cheating on your spouse. I am talking about the everyday temptations that work their way into our homes and our lives and take up residence there. They cruelly taunt us to ride their slippery slope further and further away from what we know is right. For those who want to kick temptation to the curb, here are five suggestions.

    Know your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, and generally, we know what those weaknesses are. It is a good idea to search yourself, and your heart, and list the areas where you know you can get into trouble if temptation finds you. Be aware of what the temptations are that trigger your bad behavior and be on alert for those triggers when you see them.

    Have a plan of action. Knowing your weaknesses is only half the battle. Once you know what your weaknesses are, make a plan of action. In your plan, outline what you are going to do if you are faced with the temptation that brings your bad behavior. If you need to, go over the scenarios in your mind of what you are going to say and do if the temptation comes and commit the plan to memory. Review your plan often to remind yourself that you do not need to worry about the temptation, because you have a plan of action.

    For example, when I was trying very hard to lose weight, obviously food was a big temptation. Every meal I committed myself to limiting my portions to only one serving size. I rewarded myself at the end of the day with one piece of chocolate if I made it through without giving in to any other temptation. Many times I was still hungry after I ate a meal, but because I committed myself to a plan, I didn’t back down. The incentive of a piece of chocolate was also a good motivator. It doesn’t hurt to add positive incentives to the plan that reward you for good behavior. That’s what sobriety pins are for. I have now lost 75 pounds, and I am glad I had a plan to help me resist temptation.

    Avoid the traps. Too many times, we know what our weaknesses are, but we somehow think that we will be OK and we place ourselves in a situation where that particular temptation is all around us. This is what I like to call a temptation trap. Do not allow yourself to be caught in a temptation trap. If you are an alcoholic, stay out of bars, if you are addicted to pornography, keep your computer in a public place, if you’re on a diet, don’t go to a buffet, if you like a married co-worker, never allow yourself to be alone together. Whatever your particular weakness or challenge is, do not make things more difficult by putting yourself in a situation where temptation for that weakness will without a doubt come a calling. Just don’t do it!

Q:

What are the ways to resist temptation?

Listing your top five temptations?

Do you know your weaknesses?

What are the ways to deal with being in trouble?

How to overcome an addiction?

 

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週四 (9/28)1.妙禪與勞斯萊斯 2.什麼是換妻俱樂部?

板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:00--9:30

妙禪與勞斯萊斯

讚嘆seafood!

Rulaizong  Miaochan   From Wikipedia

Miaochan, whose birth name was Liu Jinlong, was a stuntman during his youth. He learned qigong during that time and could sit on a bed of nails. Liu married three times and had three children. Peng, his third wife, had the Buddhist name "Miaodianlian" (miao means wonderful, dian means palace, lian means lotus). In 1990, Liu and his wife practiced through Master Wujue Miaotian. Miaotian gave Liu a Buddhist name, "Miaodianming" (ming means understanding).

Liu was involved in a series of lawsuits with Miaotian in the late 1990s.In 1998, Liu accused Miaotian of bilking consumers in the sale of cubicles for cremation urns. In March 1998, Liu gave himself a Buddhist name, "Xingbenjue" (xing means actions, ben means roots, jue means enlightenment), declared himself a Buddha, and called a press conference to criticize Miaotian. In August of the same year, Liu apologized to Miaotian and was allowed to rejoin Miaotian. In 2004, Liu declared himself a Buddha again and changed his name to Liu Miaoru. Liu claimed he was "Master Miaochan" (which literally means "the wonderful Zen") and established Rulaizong. It was rumored that the reason behind the breakaway from Miaotian was due to the dissatisfaction of Liu towards Miaotian on the selling of his products towards believers.According to the official saying from Rulaizong, Liu became the "Master with Great Achievement" and established Rulaizong in 1998, and officially started to spread his teachings in 2004.

Rolls-Royce

Rolls-Royce has unveiled the world’s most expensive new car - a one-off yacht-inspired vehicle costing a staggering £10 MILLION.

The Sweptail is the firm’s first coachbuilt car of the modern era and is the result of a four-year project with one of its “most valued customers”.

Described as the “automotive equivalent of Haute Couture”, the Sweptail has the largest grille of any modern Rolls.

It has an uninterrupted glass roof which is believed to be one of the largest, and most complex, ever seen on any car.

Q:

What do you think the news reported that the cult leader Miaochan?

What do you think about cults in our society?

What do you think of cult leaders?

What do you think about Taiwanese religions?

Viewpoints about Rolls-Royce?

Your opinion about the world’s most expensive new car?

什麼是換妻俱樂部?

What is Ashley Madison? Everything you need to know about the infamous affair website

mirror.co.uk   Lucy Potter

Ashley Madison describes itself as the "world’s leading married dating service for discreet encounters".

But that claim could be undermined if hackers carry out a threat to leak sensitive user information.

Hackers today threatened to release the names, addresses and pictures of the one million British people who use the website Ashley Madison to cheat on their partners.

A shadowy group called The Impact Team claimed to have accessed the intimate details of up to 37 million customers and said it was preparing to release their names and addresses, as well as nude images and details of their secret sexual fantasies.

So what is Ashley Madison and why do people use it?

Here's everything you need to know:

What is Ashley Madison?

It's a dating website for people who want to cheat on their partners, offering love rats the chance to meet potential lovers.

Ashley Madison was set up in 2001 by Canadian entrepreneur and former lawyer Noel Biderman - who describes himself as ‘happily married’ and denies cheating .

The website advertises itself with the slogan: "Life is short. Have an affair."

It is named after two common American girls' names.

Who visits the website?

Last month alone, cheaters paid Ashley Madison more than 124 million visits.

In the UK alone, the website boasts some 1.2 million users, amounting to about 5% of the married population.

Some 70% of users are men, who are mostly in their 30s and 40s.

Female users are generally younger.

How do you use Ashley Madison?

It’s free to sign up but users have to buy credits to interact with each other.

Users must spend 5 credits to start a conversation, but then further messages are free.

Although accounts can be hidden if you change your mind, Ashley Madison may charge you to remove a profile.

Is this an attempt to undermine family values?

One of the founders of Match.com described Ashley Madison as a "business built on the back of broken hearts, ruined marriages, and damaged families" and it has been banned in Singapore as "it promotes adultery and disregards family values".

However Biderman says Ashley Madison is not going to persuade anyone to have an affair, because "it’s a decision they’ve come to already".

He warns against affairs at work which could lead to dismissal and the risks of hiring a prostitute, saying "that affairs are going to happen no matter what and maybe we should see Ashley Madison as a "safe alternative".

Q:

What do you think of this website “Ashley Madison”?

What is Ashley Madison and why do people use it?

Where to find dating partners?

Why men having love affair?

Why men curious about secret sexual fantasies?

Dose switching sex partner immoral?

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