周二(6/3)1. 釋放負面情緒 2.第三者

周二聚會點  丹提咖啡 寶慶店  晚上7:00~9:30台北市延平南路107號
(西門捷運站3號出口 往前走30公尺 向左看到全家便利商店巷進入 / 在中山堂對面)
連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy
說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
只要您有熱誠  說一口流利英文不是問題





       

釋放負面情緒

最近殺人社會事件  層出不窮  每個人每天生活中  或許有些不如意的事 一旦負面情緒長期累積 對身心不好   也可能形成一顆強力未爆彈    歡迎您來談談    您對紓解情緒的看法
How to Release Negative Emotional Energy   Edited by Suki

We all feel consumed by negative emotional energy at some point in our lives. Maybe this is because of sadness or anger; or maybe this is because somebody has offloaded their emotional baggage onto you, and now it's your burden to carry.

1.     Relax. Unwind and relieve yourself of all stress. This could be done by taking a bath, reading a book, going on a walk, whatever it is that you like to do. Use special bath salts, read your favourite book, really notice everything around you on that special walk... make it a truly special time.

2.     Treat yourself. Have a makeover. Go to a spa and have a massage. Eat some chocolate or bake yourself some cookies. Really get in touch with the things that you find comforting. It'll help you feel happier.

3.     Talk to your friends or family. Don't mention what's troubling you unless you feel you have to talk to someone about it - at times this can really help if the letter idea didn't. Make sure you have a good long chat with him/her about whatever you like, and maybe even arrange to meet up with them.

4.     Meditate. Meditation is a great way to relieve stress and other negative energies. Try using guided meditations to really help yourself rid that emotion from your body and allow yourself to feel happier.

5.     Try some kind of physical activity or new hobby. Boxing, for example, is a great way to relieve anger, whereas learning an instrument is a good idea if you want to get sadness out of yourself.

6.     Listen to yourself. Don't ignore your needs. If you want to do something comforting, then go ahead and do it. It'll help you to feel more peaceful and happier if you rid yourself of the emotions now rather than letting them grow inside of you until they reach an uncontrollable peak.

Questions:

1. How to release negative emotional energy?

Ways to let go of your negative energy?

2. What not to do when you're depressed? Ways to cope with depression?

3. How to get rid of anger?

4. How to help someone who is mentally disordered?

5. What do you do when you're unhappy? How to overcome loneliness?

6. How to turn your negative feelings into positive actions?

7. Can spiritual meditation to wash away negativity and be positive?

8. How to become a positive thinker? Ways to be more positive?

第三者

         

Being the third party in a relationship.?    (answers.yahoo.com)

Well, I am working abroad and I met this guy who is 10 years older than me. We are leaving in the same flat. We became so close, we hang out most of the time, we eat together, and because of that I fell in love with him. He told me he loves me too. But the thing is, he has a girlfriend working in other country. They've been together for more than 2 years now and he told me before that their relationship is on the rocks. And though I knew he already had a girlfriend before we became close, I didn't stop myself to love him and accept the situation to be the third party. We've been together for 3 months now, and I'm having this guilt feeling for his girlfriend because we're cheating on her. But I really love this guy but it also hurts to know that he can't seem to break up with his girlfriend and be with me.

Enter The Third Party (divorcesupport.about)

Add to this a third party and the issue of an affair and the emotional intensity is compounded. Not only will the left behind spouse feel abandoned but he/she will also feel replaced by someone better, younger, more attractive. The pain in this type of divorce comes from losing a position of importance in the life of your spouse, from beliefs about immorality, betrayal and feelings of failure as a spouse.

When a third party enters a marriage, certain psychological things start to happen in the mind of the cheating spouse. Their thinking becomes skewed in order to justify their their behavior. Denial of any wrong doing means shifting the blame and usually it all gets dumped onto the faithful spouse.

Normally a spouse who falls prey to an affair is a decent person that is aware of their behavior and how it is frowned upon by society. Even though they are aware of the immorality of their actions, they continue with the relationship, which means dealing with feelings of guilt.

 Questions:

1. What do to when a relationship involves an affair with a third party?

How to deal with the third party your partner had an affair?

2. What should you do when you’re spouse is having an affair?

What to do if your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating?

3. What to do if found you were the third party in a relationship?

4. What to do if you're caught cheating?

5. Men or women who more likely to have an affair?

6. What makes married men want to have affairs? Reasons why men have affairs?

Why do men have more trouble resisting sexual temptation than women?

7. How to resist extra martial temptation?

How to deal with the desire to cheat on your partner?

8. What to do when you know about an affair of your close friend? Should you tell his or partner?

   

    真「心」換偷腥！ 李心潔忍痛原諒不離婚   
影星李心潔的老公彭順公然外遇，李心潔選擇原諒，發出和老公的聯合聲明，說會一起面對未來。而始終不願出面交代的彭順，則是終於在28號深夜po文，寫下傷害了一直為他付出的那一個人，自己做了無法被原諒的事情，也不敢要求外界原諒。雖然現在彭順已經公開道歉，但許多李心潔的粉絲還是怒氣難消，認為她所承受的痛，根本就不是彭順這幾句對不起就能夠彌補。

負面情緒累積 絕非一時興起

〔自由時報〕許姓少年以「 鄭捷有苦就可以殺人，為何我不可以」，持刀闖進學校報復，北捷車廂殺人案引發的模仿效應，不容小覷。

萬芳醫院精神科主治醫師潘建志分析，許少可能因患過動症，行為舉動易被老師指正，導致同學排斥，內心自然產生遭霸凌的負面情緒，長期的不滿，看到鄭捷做法找到出氣窗口，進而模仿。

潘建志指出，仿效鄭捷的青少年，絕非一時興起，若身邊有人情緒容易暴躁，且動不動使用暴力言語，別以為只是在開玩笑，要想辦法降低他的挫折感，若自己無力協助，就要儘速找心理、精神科醫師求助，有助減少模仿效應延燒。

亞東醫院精神科醫師江惠綾則說，很多人誤會過動兒判斷、理解能力差，其實只是控制力較差，容易在心中累積負面情緒，接觸到類似情境，情緒就失控。

對於許母呼籲電視台別再播鄭捷殺人的新聞，兒子就是因此，才喚起被傷害的回憶。

基隆長庚醫院精神科醫師陳志根認為，鄭捷案電子媒體24小時播放，大量訊息釋放刺激原就存在偏差個性的人，會造成學習效應；他建議，媒體應搭配如何走出心靈困境，尋求宗教力量解決的新聞，緩解當事人情緒。

至於校園霸凌，新北市教育局說，肢體霸凌近年來逐漸消弭，但新世代學生慣用3C科技產品，約有一成霸凌事件轉為「網路霸凌」，需要師長多加關切。

 

 

 

Read More 看完整內容

周六(5/31)1.人際網絡2.工時縮短有助健康

周六聚會地點: 快提café 6:40PM-- 9:00PM新北市板橋區文化路一段387巷10號 (沿著新埔捷運站1號出口左方向前走約100公尺 經過新埔郵局看到康是美
從信義房屋旁的巷子進入) 連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy
說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
只要您有熱誠  說一口流利英文不是問題  新朋友們 如感閱讀文章較深澀  建議到周六班

有英文口語訓練
 

1.人際網絡

How to Build a Social Network (Edited by bishdom)
A social network comprises a group of friends and acquaintances that share similar interests, careers or both. Building an effective social network will mean that you will always have contacts to help you with your personal or career endeavors.
1Go through your address book, day planner, or other contact information for your current friends and contacts. Make connection with them just to talk. The subject of your conversation isn't really important at this point. Just staying in touch works wonders and will serve as the foundation for the next steps.
2Throw a party. Either a birthday party or just a friendly get together. Ask all of your close friends to come and tell them that they can bring a guest. Speak with everyone at the party and get phone numbers and contact information from those you do not know and that you share common interests with.
3Join an Internet message board or community that focuses on one of your interests (such as wikiHow ;) ). Post on the topic and share your knowledge. If someone on the message board has similar interests or can teach you something, then send them an email or a private message and get to know them.
4Attend weddings, funerals and parties that you are invited to. Showing that you care about the people in your network, even if you just pop in and say hi, will cause those that are in your 'network' to return the same courtesy. And, you could meet other people there too.
5Send a weekly email to some of your most valued contacts just to touch base. Ask how they are doing, how their family is, how their job is going. Be sincere!
6Consider volunteering and joining a cause that you believe in. Perhaps a cancer or AIDS walk or fundraiser. Or perhaps a political campaign for a candidate that you share political views with.
7Attend conferences concerning the topics you are interested in. Whether they are about technology, skiing or scrapbooking, you will meet new people that share similar interests.
8Start your own group. This can be a bit of a daunting task, but if you start your own group, whether an internet bulletin board group or an actual meet and greet group, people will be coming to you instead of you looking for them. This is a great way to meet new contacts and friends.
9Should you be seeking a job, don't hesitate to tell everyone in your network about it. Send out resumes to those you are closest to or those that share business interest.

Questions:

How to Build a Social Network?

How to Make Friends?

How can social network help you?

How To Use Social Networking To Boost Your Career?

2.工時縮短有助健康

More time for saunas? Sweden tries cutting working day to 6 hours (business/Sweden)

The local government of Gothenburg, Sweden, is to begin a yearlong experiment to see if cutting the working week to 30 hours will be more efficient. It is hoped working less hours will cut down on sick leave, and save money.

Under the plan, the employees will remain on the same pay, the Independent newspaper reports.

"We think it's time to give this a real shot in Sweden," said Mats Pilhem, the Left Party deputy mayor of Gothenburg.

 Why Working More Than 8 Hours A Day Can Kill You (Deborah L. Jacobs)
 

If you’re accustomed to being the last one to leave the office, new research may offer you cause to rethink your routine.

 

The study, published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, shows that a combination of stress, raised blood pressure and unhealthy diets stemming from long working hours may be the cause of thousands of workers’ serious health problems.

 

The study combined the results of different studies over the last 50 years and found that spending too long in the office resulted in a 40 to 80 percent greater chance of heart disease compared to an eight hour work day.

 

How To Keep Your Job Without Working Yourself To Death 

 

The latest findings discovered by scientists at the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health support results from a 2011 British survey that revealed that doing more than 11 hours of work a day raised heart disease risks by 67 percent.

 

Lead researcher Dr. Marianna Virtanen and her team gathered data from 12 different studies going back to 1958, when researchers first suggested that working long hours could be linked to poor heart health. In total, the studies involved more than 22,000 participants, from Britain, the USA, Japan, Sweden, Finland, Denmark and the Netherlands.
 

“There are several potential mechanisms that may underlie the association between long working hours and heart disease,” study authors wrote. ”One is prolonged exposure to psychological stress.”

 

Researchers said that other factors could be increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol, poor eating habits and lack of physical activity due to limited leisure time.

Questions:

What do you think about Sweden tries cutting working day to 6 hours?

Do you think working more than 8 hours a day bad to you?

How many hours do you work per week?

How many hours should we be working?

3.新聞討論---- 功夫與性格

Martial Arts are not to blame for teaching and parenting failures (Taiwan News By George Liu)

Almost a week has passed since 21 year old college student Cheng Chieh allegedly stabbed 28 people in the Taipei MRT, killing 4. In a search for answers, media outlets have shifted some of their focus onto Cheng’s martial arts background and whether skills he learned in the dojo made him a more efficient killer.

Cheng practiced Taekwondo at Goodteam Taekwondo School for over three years, starting from the age of seven, and earned a second-degree black belt. Authorities are implying that this training added power, accuracy, and mental determination to Cheng’s knife wielding rampage and his time in the dojo may have only fueled his desire to inflict injury and death.

Q: What do you think about this news?
 

4. 口語訓練 講義現場分發  

一天只工作6小時　瑞典開先河試辦   (TVBS )
 

一天到底應該工作幾個小時？瑞典的哥德堡決定進行一項實驗，讓市府員工每天只上班6個小時，因為他們認為，這樣不但可以減少政府開支，還能減少請假次數，提高工作效率，而法國也訂定新的勞資協議，允許科技業的員工，在晚上6點以後，不必回覆公司Email、也不用接電話。

 

充滿北國海洋風情的瑞典哥德堡，除了是北歐最大的港口，現在也將成為，全球公務員，工作時數最短的地區。網路新聞：「在瑞典哥德堡的市政府員工，他們將要一天工作6小時，然後領取全薪來看看，這樣能不能讓政府省錢，增加工作效率和減少員工，請病假的數量。」
 

一般來說，瑞典人每週工作40小時，瑞典哥德堡市政府，把員工分成兩邊做實驗，一部分人上班時數照舊，另一部分，每天工作6小時，領相同的薪水，來看看兩邊的工作表現。
 

因為根據OECD數據顯示，減少工作時間和提高生產率有聯繫，以希臘為例，每年工作2千小時，德國每年1400小時，可是希臘人的工作效率，只有德國人的7成。新聞主播：「一個新的法令說，在法國科技業員工，大約有100萬人，如果老闆在下午6點以後mail給員工是違法的，不要笑，如果員工已經離開辦公室，在法國你不能再打擾他們。」
 

法國僱主聯合會及工會簽署新的勞資協議，規定科技業員工晚上6點後不必回覆公司的mail，也可以把手機關機，來確保員工每週能享有133小時，不受公務干擾的寧靜時間。

 
 

 

 

 
 

 

Read More 看完整內容

周二(5/27) 1. 美好的一天2.捷運殺人/電玩/暴力原因

周二聚會點  丹提咖啡 寶慶店  晚上7:00~9:30台北市延平南路107號
(西門捷運站3號出口 往前走30公尺 向左看到全家便利商店巷進入 / 在中山堂對面)
連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy 說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
只要您有熱誠  說一口流利英文不是問題

 美好的一天

            

Tips to Feel Better All Day    By Eric Metcalf

Get sunlight during the day.

Sunlight stimulates the brain chemical serotonin, which plays a role in helping you feel happy.

While you're outdoors in the sun, use the time to exercise for an extra boost, Rakel says. Research has found that physical activity can work about as well as medications for treating mild to moderate depression, and it may work better than medicine for preventing depression from returning. It can also help your anxiety.

Set yourself up for good sleep.

In the evening as the sky grows darker, your brain makes a hormone called melatonin. This helps you get sleepy. Some of your choices during the day and evening affect your melatonin levels, which in turn can play a role in how well you sleep. Rakel suggests that you:

Be sure to get that daily exercise in the sun, since it also helps you sleep at night. In part, that's because "melatonin is related to how much serotonin you have," Rakel says.

Turn down your thermostat. You make melatonin when your body is cooler, so you're likely to sleep better if you aren't too warm.

Turn off the lights. If your bedroom isn't completely dark, you won't make as much melatonin.

Eat "feel-good" foods

The way you fuel your body and mind makes a big difference in whether you feel strong or weak, focused or groggy. Keep these tips in mind:

Focus on "multicolored whole foods that were recently alive," he says. That means fresh vegetables, fruits, and beans, and whole grains instead of refined or processed foods.

Make room for cruciferous vegetables, which include broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and kale. "Those vegetables contain chemicals that support immunity and help detoxify the body. They're super-foods for feeling good," he says.

Avoid foods that make your blood sugar soar, like sweetened sodas and sugary baked goods. Your body will respond with a rush of insulin, which makes your blood sugar crash. These highs and lows aren't good for your health, your focus, or your energy level.

 

Try to stay positive.

The same event can happen to two people, and one views it as a positive and one views it as a negative. So try to see the good side of the things and people around you; it can help you stay free of anxiety and depression, Rakel says.

 

Be around people.

Having a good support network of family, friends, coworkers, and other people who care about you can help you stay healthier, feel less stressed, and even live a longer life. Spend time with these people regularly, and work to keep your relationships with them strong.

Questions:

1. How to be happy everyday?

2. How do you arrange a good day?

What are the steps to follow if you want to feel good from morning to night?

3. What are the tips to feel better in your working places?

4. What is the daily habits that will make you happier? (ex: get sunlight/good sleep)

5. What are the food that can help make you feel-good?

6. How important the supporting networks? (ex: friends, coworkers)

7. What are the benefits we can get from exercise?

What are the benefits we can get from sunlight?

 

捷運殺人/電玩/暴力原因

A man randomly stabbed passengers

(CNN) -- Moments after his train left a station in Taipei on Wednesday, a young Taiwanese man randomly stabbed passengers before his violent fury ended when he was forced to the ground, police said.

At least four people were killed and 22 others injured in the incident -- the first such attack since the East Asian nation's mass rapid transit (MRT) system opened in 1996, media in Taiwan and nearby Hong Kong reported.

According to police, the suspect, a 21-year-old college student, began attacking people 20 seconds after his train left Longshan Temple Station in Taipei.

Video games and violent behaviour   debate.org

Video games do have a huge effect on many unsuspecting kids. The power a character possesses makes him super strong and he starts killing people. The poor little kid will envy his power and try to be like him/her. Therefore, the little kid ending up killing someone or hurting someone badly.

 They are detrimental to teens' minds and society.  Are the murders of innocent committed because some kids play games? Teenagers should not be permitted to buy violent video games due to the fact that it corrupts their minds and causes them to act out in negative ways. Many depressing incidents have happened in the past, and to stop them from happening in the future, we must take action.

 Teenagers spend their free time playing violent video games. Research shows that boys play 13 hours of them a week and girls tend to play 5. Even if we may not realize it, it is detrimental to their minds and society. Since they were little, kids have been exposed to aggressive behavior in the games that they play. When this sadistic image of life is placed in their minds over and over again, it desensitizes them.

 When these kids become teenagers, they are not sensitive to the world around them. Their minds are corrupted by the rubbish that they used to occupy themselves in when they were younger. In the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting, about two dozen innocent children were mercilessly murdered by a young man in his twenties. Why? Because the shooter’s mind had been corrupted so much that his psychology had been negatively affected.

Causes of Youth Violence    By Denise Witmer
 

Traumatic Events

Dealing with traumatic events can cause violent behavior in teens. For instance, if the teen loses a friend in a car accident that they were also involved in they could get angry at the fact that they were the one that lived. As anger is a normal stage of grief, a violent outburst from this teen seems almost justified.

Mental Illness

Mental Illness Causes Teen Violence

Mental illness is also another cause of violence among teens. Mental health issues like ADHD, bipolar, ODD, conduct disorder or many of the others that are being diagnosed today, all have aggressive behaviors or angry feelings as common symptoms.

Mental illness sometimes hides behind other causes of youth violence. For instance, a teen with bipolar disorder may be using drugs. If this teen becomes violent, the drug use could hide the fact that the bipolar illness is part of the cause.

 

Questions:

1. What do you think this tragic event?

What are the causes of violent behavior in youth?

2. Do violent video games cause behavior problems?

Should violent video games be banned?

3. Can video games teach kids to be a better person?

4. How to defend yourself from an attacker?

What are the self defense tips to protect you?

5. Does pepper spray really work to disable an attacker?

Do umbrellas really work to an attacker? What are the objects can be use to fight against an attacker?

6. How can you tell if someone is mentally ill?

7. Do you think that mental illness causes teen violence?

 

                        

愛在家 終止孩子成魔之路（彭惠鈴）

 史無前例的台北捷運殺人事件發生後，大家紛紛檢討捷運的安檢、警政的應變、社會的損失，網路上也盛傳防範的措施，然而我認為事件的發生是整個功利社會忽略家庭功能所付出的代價。

閱讀過貴報整理出鄭捷成長過程的「成魔之路」後，我想會有哪個孩子從小立志要成為魔鬼呢？父母師長們是不是在他哪個成長的環節中錯失矯正引導的機會？在他的高中畢業紀念冊上寫著：「我沒有放火燒我家。」有哪個愛家的孩子會寫出這樣的句子？他的父母接受採訪時說：「兒子是宅男，喜歡玩殺人格鬥電玩。」這樣的情況有沒有給父母甚麼警覺，還是以為乖乖待在家就沒問題？

陪伴傾聽用心教育

在孩子的成長過程中，父母或師長可以做些甚麼來終止「成魔之路」或避免孩子走上「成魔之路」。這個議題不是個案，是每個網路世代為人父母師長要開始認真思考的問題。

現在孩子的物質生活遠遠比上一代好，然而心靈生活卻相對貧乏。學生人手一機很平常，手機網路世代讓孩子沉溺在虛擬世界，父母們是否小時候就給他們手機來表達對孩子的愛？焉不知這樣的愛適足以害之。

甚麼樣的愛才能終止成魔之路？就是花時間陪著孩子，聽他說話，和他聊天，傾聽孩子擁抱孩子，讓孩子的心靈感受父母的愛，愛很抽象，需要時間需要用心，絕不是用任何物品或安親班或其他人可替代父母的付出。

我沉痛的呼籲，父母們，不要讓自己太忙碌，回家陪孩子吃晚餐，讓他們回家看得到你們。點燃家中幸福的燈光，讓「愛在家」好嗎？有愛的家，孩子怎麼捨得燒它；有愛的心靈，怎麼會不想活了？怎麼會仰賴殺人電玩來彌補空虛？又怎麼會在虛擬世界尋找幸福？又怎會把殺人砍人視為他立志要做的「大事」。

有些事的確需要犧牲，但「犧牲是拿好的東西去換更好的東西」。我在十多年前取得教師證卻放棄教職，為了孩子的成長，我的犧牲很大，但教育身心健康的下一代，這樣的犧牲真的很值得。愛要讓孩子看得到體會得到，這些父母都要花時間。讓愛幫助孩子成為社會的「光」，成為家中的「寶」，而不是「魔」，這才是社會之福。

只教她追求幸福，我卻沒有教育她怎麼樣應付不幸

走過喪女之痛的張惠君，對於為人父母，感受尤其深刻，談到北捷隨機殺人的鄭捷，她說，不能把錯都怪到父母身上。關中夫人張惠君：「像我跟我先生我從小是包括我的女兒，我非常非常仔細地教育她，但是我就是只教她追求幸福，我卻沒有教育她怎麼樣應付不幸，我常常覺得老天爺都有颱風下雨，都有刮風下雨，何況人呢父母又不是神，父母怎麼樣去，一定要做一個完美的父母呢，所以我覺得這個力量，我不是說父母完全沒責任，我覺得全部的社會都有是責任的。」

 
 

Read More 看完整內容