週二(10/31)1.做惡夢的原因?2.如何捍衛自己?

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做惡夢的原因?

Causes Of Nightmares     dreammoods

 In general, stress, trauma, fears, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy, health problems, marital issues, etc may all be reasons for having nightmares:

 Childhood and Family - Present nightmares can be rooted in past neglect and trauma from childhood. From lack of love, neglect, alcoholism, to severe abuse, family members can be the most destructive influence on a person's life. Nightmares may be a sign of such inner turmoil.

 Life - The way your life is going and the larger society as a whole can contribute to nightmares. Your perception of the world, health, natural disasters, criticism about politics, finances, crime in the streets and your inability to control such events may sometimes lead to nightmares.

 Relationships - Your intimate relationships and  your daily interactions with people can also be a source of your nightmares.  Marital difficulties or pregnancy are other possible causes. You may be paranoid about how your think others perceive you or fear that others do not understand and see who you really are. Isolation and unhappiness may appear in nightmares as abandonment and loneliness.

 Stress - The way you handle and deal with stress can trigger nightmares. Nightmares are a normal response to unacceptable levels of fear and stress. People diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder frequently have nightmares about their traumatic event, like war, rape, death of a loved one, car accident, plane crash, terrorism, etc.

 Work - Since most of us spend the majority of our day at work, it is no surprise that work-related issues are a common source for your nightmares. Stress, job security (or there lack of), change in jobs, co-workers, unresolved work problems, or general dissatisfaction with what you do can manifest into a nightmare. The nightmare may reflect feelings of frustration and an inability to control your work-related issues.

Questions:

Why do people dream?

Why do some people keep having nightmares?

How often do you have dreams?

What do you dream of?

Is having dreams good or bad?

Reasons why we have bad dreams?

Stress related dreams?

How much sleep do you need?

How to sleep better: tips for getting a good night's sleep?

Do you believe dream analysis?

如何捍衛自己?

Ways To Stand Up For Yourself       Brian Rashid   forbes

Standing up for yourself can be difficult. Whether in the context of business, or social interactions, a person needs to be sure that they are speaking up on their own behalf.

You’ve got to have your voice, thoughts and emotions understood by those around you.

    What Does It Look Like To You?

Before you embark on a journey to enhance your ability to say “no” (or perhaps “yes,” in some cases), it’s important to understand what self-assertion does and doesn’t mean to you. Why do you feel you’re not being assertive enough?

Are there certain contexts in which you find yourself unable to get your point across? In what ways do you wish you were more assertive? Are there people you know who exhibit a self-assertive nature that you admire?

    Practice Makes Perfect

If you’re just starting on your path toward being assertive, you’ve got to remember that it takes time to warm up. As with any skill in life, practice will build strength in your ability to stand up for yourself. Try flexing your assertive nature in small ways, and then build up to encounters that may take more effort. Just like working out at the gym, we can strengthen our assertive nature through repeated use.

    Pick Your Place And Time

It’s important to set yourself up for success by picking the right time and place for an encounter. Take careful consideration of where and when interactions occur. Arrange for an encounter to occur when you’re comfortable, and where.

If you’re not a morning person, try and make contact later in the day. If there’s a place you feel more at home, attempt to engage the issue at that location.

    You Don’t Have To Catch Every Ball

You juggle a busy life. You probably want to be helpful to those around you, since you may need their help in return. According to Rusty Mann, the CEO of Instructor Music, remember that you don’t have to take care of every problem, every time. When someone comes to you for help or attempts to involve you in a project, it doesn’t mean that you are obliged to help. You are allowed to let some opportunities pass you by.

    Train People To Treat You Right

We interact with people every day. One way to stand up for yourself is to let people know how you want to be treated. This doesn’t mean explicitly telling them. It means being aware of how your actions, words, and outward decisions appear to others.

Q:

How to stand up for yourself?

How to say “no”?

How to train people to treat you right?

How to improve social interaction skills?

How to respond when someone takes advantage of you

Are you a morning or an evening person?

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周六(10/28) 1.結婚對身體健康好嗎?2.窮人會快樂嗎? 下午 4:00-6:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

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 結婚對身體健康好嗎?

Marriage is good for your health? Not if you're a woman...   telegraph.co.uk

A new study has found that those with a spouse were less likely to die from high blood pressure, high cholesterol and and Type 2 Diabetes Credit:  Rui Vieira/PA

At last, good news for long suffering wives and husbands. According to a study by Aston Medical School in Birmingham, staying with your other half in sickness and in health is more likely to keep you alive.

In what was the largest study of its kind researchers analysed a database of more than one million patients with an average age of 60, over a 13 year period.

The results were conclusive: being married is better for your health. They found that those with a spouse were less likely to die from high blood pressure, high cholesterol and and Type 2 Diabetes - the biggest risk factors for heart disease. The reason for such improved longevity was attributed to partners badgering one other about medication, eating healthily and getting enough exercise.

But if the results are vindication for those who choose to stick together, experts warn we shouldn't use this an an excuse to rush out and tie the knot. 

"The findings shouldn't be seen as a reason to get married," says lead researcher Dr Paul Carter, who presented the study at the British Cardiovascular Society Conference in Manchester "but as an encouragement for people to build strong support networks with their family and friends."

Marriage has long been thought of as a panacea for the soul. In 2010, the World Health Organisation found it could reduce the risk of anxiety and depression, and marital partners were much less likely to suffer the blues than those who stayed single. Research from the University of California has also proved that death rates of those with cancer was lower if patients were not single - a fact attributed to having better health insurance and what they called 'social support'.

For women, the good news keeps coming. Two years ago another piece of research came to the fore that suggested that, while marriage is long known to have beneficial psychological and physical effects, being single has less of a negative affect on women than on men.

The findings, this time by the University College London, the London School of Economics and The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, stated that middle aged women who had never married had virtually the same chance of developing metabolic syndrome – a combination of diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity - as their married counterparts.

Q:

Is marriage good for your health?

Why married spouse were less likely to die from high blood pressure, high cholesterol?

Is marriage worth the trouble for women?

Do men really benefit more from marriage than women?

What are the benefits of marriage?

What are the benefits of being single?

Who live longer men or women?

窮人會快樂嗎?

Can you be poor and happy?             debate.org

68% Say Yes        32% Say No

Poor can be happy

For a poor family, they swim in a river that has no end, they have stars above their heads at night, they have the whole horizon to watch and use as their patio, they have the endless fields, they grow there own food and have pride in it and their friends protect their land. Sometimes I wonder if we can call ourselves rich. Maybe the “poor” people are actually the rich ones, they are so content and they have natural materials and resources as some of our recent technology, sometimes I wonder poor people are actually the ones living better lives.

I'm Poor and Happy.

I'm Poor and Happy. I'm pretty uninterested in material wealth and the things that this society offer in exchange for dollars. I personally prefer to have less responsibilities and spend time living for me and the people i love. Even more, it's possible to have great experiences if you lower your standards of luxury. Materialism is something I'll never spend effort attaining.

Every day is a struggle

Every day a poor person person is robbed off dignity. How can you be happy knowing that there are people you will never meet, places you will never go and dreams you will never accomplish because the world does not know you exist? We live in an excessively materialistic world where the value of human life is determined by what you have to offer. The homeless, illegal immigrants and people living in the slums of Asia and Africa are tied in a cyclical life of despair. It is difficult to be happy when every day is toil, hunger and despair.

Poor people have little power to change

I am 24 years old, I have $1250 in my account. Nothing in my wallet. I have a wife and we live in our studio apartment. I am the only one able to work so I support both of us. (Before you ask, have you thought about your wife working? Yes we have and there is no option for that for reasons I cannot disclose here) Half our money goes to rent and the rest to bills/debt every month. We save nothing. We never go anywhere for fun. Movies? What are those? We have hardly nothing in our fridge for lunch and absolutely nothing for dinner. No saved canned foods or anything to use for meals. The problem with being poor is that you are always worrying! It never ends. How do I pay off my $15000 student loan debt? How do I pay my $9000 car loan since the bank owns my car and not me? What about the $6000 credit card debt you got by trying to survive and not just blowing your money on clothes you don't have? I go to my 9-5 job come home to my beautiful wife and look her in the face and all I can think is I'm sorry. You feel so low. You are busting your butt just to stay afloat. You never have fun because everything costs money and if it doesn't it at least costs gas to get there which you can't afford. You try to change it but you can't. You're stuck. You either learn to deal with it or give up. Either way you feel horrible. All you want is to be able to go to the grocery store and say go baby get whatever you would like but you can't. I haven't given up but I'm breaking. No family to help just you and you alone to find a way every single day. I have my wife and she keeps me alive but when you know you are letting two people down no matter how hard you try it is demoralizing. Stay strong. Work, eat maybe, sleep and repeat. Stay strong!

Q:

Can you be poor and happy?

Do you think rich people are happier than the poor?

Are you interested in material wealth? Or uninterested in material wealth?

Are rich people have more power to change?

How to live a happy life?

How to live a great life even if you have money problems?

Do you admire or envy the rich?

Rich people are smarter/talented than poor people?

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週四 (10/26)1.星座與愛情適合性?2.一周工作4小時?

板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:00--9:30

星座與愛情適合性?

Zodiac Compatibility       | AstrologyAnswers.com

Love Astrology and Love CompatibilityLOVE is the #1 reason people consultult astrologers — for answers in love, relationships, and compatibility. It’s human nature to want to believe that love is destined, that somewhere out in the grand scheme of things there’s ONE person, just for you. The truth of the matter is that the secret to romance is in the stars, and when approached the right way, astrology is a useful tool to get you some insight when it comes to love compatibility (and that all-important sexual chemistry too!)

Love and desire, why one person turns you on and another doesn’t, can be confusing enough. Especially when you’ve got the hots and the other person is just a cold shoulder; or maybe someone wants to woo and court you, and you’re just not interested. However, understanding the 12 signs of the zodiac can help when it comes to finding a good match. You’re looking for the right person to share your heart — and your bed — so there’s no such thing as too much information!

The Human Factor in Love Compatibility

The Human Factor in Love CompatibilityThe first thing to understand is that there’s no such thing as perfect compatibility. This has less to do with astrology and more to do with human nature. People come with baggage, history and hangups. Using astrology can help you to understand where that history might be hanging, so that you can see if this relationship has the potential to work.

Any relationship — even if you never learn to read an astrology chart — is going to function best when you understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses and when your willingness to be happy overtakes your need to be right. You can choose to be compatible with anyone, regardless of their zodiac sign. It all comes down to personal preference. So do you really need astrology for love and compatibility?

The Astrological Asset

The Astrological AssetAstrology can give you an advantage in love. Zodiac signs are broken down into 4 elements: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water.

    The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius

    The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn

    The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius

    The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces

Why is this important? Well, what happens if you pour water onto fire? You get steam, and then the fire goes out. This can happen to a relationship if you pour a water sign onto fire, too! Add water to the earth and you nourish the soil, but if there’s too much water you get a mudslide. It’s the same between water signs and earth signs. Earth signs can smother fire; can scorch earth signs. Air signs can blow earth signs away into dust, or they can add fuel to fire signs so they burn brightly. When you understand how the elements work in nature, you can get a pretty good idea as to how the different astrological elements interact with each other.

Q:

What are your viewpoints about zodiac compatibility?      

Do you think astrology offers an insight to relationships?

Do you believe in love astrology?

Do you believe that love is destined?

How to find a compatible lover?

How to find common interests with your lover?

Can astrology tell you if your relationship will last?

一周工作4小時?

The Hard Truth About the 4-Hour Work Week       

Sylvia Rytarowska, Brazen Life  businessinsider

Think about it: four hours of work a week. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But it’s not for you. It’s not even for Tim Ferriss.

What makes you happy?

You’re ambitious, desire success and won’t settle for just any job when you could be doing something meaningful that would make you happy.

To quote Stephen King, who could easily kick back on the beach or drink fancy cocktails by the pool for the rest of his life:

“I always wonder two things about these folks (writers with scanty legacies like Harper Lee — one book): how long did it take them to write the books they did write, and what did they do the rest of their time? Knit afghans? Organize church bazaars?… If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”

King writes every day, without exception, because it makes him happy. He’s a successful guy.

If you think about success in life and still have a problem nailing it down, listen to Richard St. John. In his “8 Secrets of Success” TED talk, he shares the elements of success he compiled after interviewing 500 successful people:

    Passion. Though recently a buzzword, it’s also a major happiness factor.

    Work.

    Expertise. Get good and own your skill.

    Focus. Practice it like a muscle.

    Push. Push yourself through self-doubt and inhibitions. Even great people think they’re not good enough.

    Serve. Serve people something of value because it’s how you get rich.

    Ideas. Follow through with your ideas; we all have them. Creativity isn’t magic.

    Persist. Persistence, according to St. John, is the number one reason for success. Persist through failure and CRAP (criticism, rejection, assholes and pressure).

Does a four-hour workweek fit into that picture? Probably not. Take a close look at those who advocate the passive income lifestyle. They work their butts off and sell the idea for the big bucks.

“Get rich quick” and “do nothing and accomplish everything” recipes are like the Holy Grail. They exist in legends and fairy tales. But the basis for your decision should be what the easy money advocates do, not what they say. Who walks the talk?

Q:

Does a four-hour workweek feasible?

How many hours should you work each week?

How to be happier at work?

What job would make you happiest?

How to find your passion?

“Even great people think they’re not good enough”

Do you think are you good enough? Reasons why?

“Persistence, according to St. John, is the number one reason for success.”

Your viewpoints about Persistence?

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週二(10/24)1.你是購物狂嗎?2.台大生硫酸殺人事件

板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:00--9:30

你是購物狂嗎?

Signs You’re a Shopaholic

Renee Morad  moneytalksnews

Researchers estimate that nearly 6 percent of Americans are so-called “shopaholics.” In our society, the phrase “shop till you drop” translates as frivolous and fun. But when spending presents a real problem, the glamour fades and debt mounts.

Psychologists call it compulsive buying disorder, and it is characterized as an impulse-control issue, just like gambling or binge eating. Compulsive buying disorder has the potential to create a whirlwind of emotional and financial distress.

1. You have many unopened or tagged items in your closet

We’re not talking about the sweater your aunt gave you last holiday season, but about items you selected on your own that sit unopened or with their tags still attached.

2. You often purchase things you don’t need or didn’t plan to buy

You’re easily tempted by items that you can do without: a fifth candle for your bedroom dresser, a new iPod case … you get the idea. You’re particularly vulnerable if you’ve admitted to having an obsession, such as shoes or designer handbags. Just because your splurges tend to stick to one category doesn’t make them any more rational.

3. An argument or frustration sparks an urge to shop

Compulsive shopping is an attempt to fill an emotional void, like loneliness, lack of control or lack of self-confidence. Shopaholics also have a tendency to suffer from mood disorders, eating disorders and substance abuse problems.

4. You experience a rush of excitement when buying                                                                                                                               

Shopaholics experience a high or an adrenaline rush from the act of purchasing an item. Experts say dopamine, a brain chemical associated with pleasure, is often released in waves as shoppers see a desirable item and consider buying it. This burst of excitement can become addictive.

5. Purchases are followed by feelings of remorse

This guilt doesn’t have to be limited to big purchases, either. Instead, compulsive shoppers are just as often attracted to deals and bargain hunting. Despite any remorse that follows, though, shopaholics are adept at rationalizing just about any purchase.

Q:

What are the signs that you are a serious shopaholic?

Do you think that shopaholic is a real problem?

Do you have many unopened or tagged items in your closet?

How to make a budget to avoid overspending?

Do you sometimes purchase things you don’t need or didn’t plan to buy?

What are the ways to deal with loneliness?

Are you easily tempted?

  

台大生硫酸殺人事件

Police investigate acid attack at NTU  taipeitimes

Police investigate a crime scene yesterday morning outside a National Taiwan University dormitory in Taipei, where a man allegedly carried out an acid attack that left three people injured before killing himself.

The suspect, a 25-year-old National Taiwan University of Science and Technology graduate surnamed Chang (張), apparently killed himself with a fruit knife.

Chang went to the dormitory in the early hours of yesterday morning to speak with a 23-year-old NTU Department of Psychology graduate student surnamed Hsieh (謝), Daan Police Precinct Deputy Chief Huang Kuo-chen (黃國珍) said.

Chang reportedly had a heated argument with Hsieh, who was with another NTU student, surnamed Luo (駱), in the dormitory’s guest meeting room, police said.

Chang allegedly threw an open vial of acid at Hsieh and Luo, police said, adding that the acid burned Chang and a security guard, surnamed Ku (谷), who was trying to calm the situation.

Witnesses said that Chang then took out a fruit knife and tried to stab Hsieh before chasing him outside.

Police quoted witnesses as saying that Hsieh fell to the ground and Chang, perhaps assuming that Hsieh was dead, stabbed himself several times before throwing acid on his neck in an apparent suicide attempt.

The attack appears premeditated, as Chang had a knife, glass vials containing sulfuric acid and a stun gun in his backpack, police said.

As of press time last night, Hsieh was in a critical condition.

He sustained serious cuts and acid burns on more than 60 percent of his body, doctors said.

Prosecutors yesterday investigated the crime scene and interviewed witnesses, two of the victims and their family and friends.

An autopsy was performed on Chang to determine if he had consumed alcohol or drugs prior to the attack.

According to media reports and discussion threads on Professional Technology Temple (PTT), the nation’s largest online academic bulletin board, Chang was romantically involved with Hsieh, with some citing as evidence that both men shared information in support of same-sex marriage on Facebook.

“One of the men wanted to break up, but the other did not,” Ku told reporters.

“[Hsieh] had told his mother about his sexual orientation. He did not dare to tell me and I did not want to ask,” Hsieh’s father, who visited his son in hospital, told reporters.

Q:

What is your opinion about the acid attack at NTU?

How to handle jealousy?

How to handle a breakup?

What to do when you've been betrayed?

Should emotional managements taught in schools?

What is your opinion about same-sex marriage?

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