周六(6/29)1.如何把妹? 2.成功者的習慣 PM 7:00-9:00

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如何把妹?

How to Pick Up a Girl  wikihow.com

    Broaden your horizons. Don't get sucked in to thinking that you can find girls only to date when you're out at a party or at the bar or pub. You never know where or when you might meet a girl who would be open to a night out with you if you play your cards right. The saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea” reflects this fact. If you want to find a girl to pick up, keep your eyes open everywhere you go: at work, in cafes, on the street, pretty much anywhere public. That being said, there are a couple of important things to keep in mind.

        A supermarket pickup is a hard sell. Most people don't go to the grocery store or the bank because they are hoping to find romance, which is why the conventional wisdom rightly suggests that bars, clubs, and parties are the best places to meet potential dates. Do not expect a good response if you try picking up girls in places they have to go because life demands it.

        Instead, consider open-air markets, cafes, and other places people go because they want to be out. It is likely that girls in such places will be at least somewhat more receptive to meeting new people, since they are not on important business.

     

      Understand the (straight) male-female dynamic. This varies widely from country to country, but generally speaking, there is a clear paradigm in the Western world (that is, Europe, Australia, and North America) that defines what men and women find attractive in the opposite sex. It's actually very complicated, but at the most basic level, it works like this: Women are primarily attracted to social power and influence; men are primarily attracted to fertility and health (which is why Western culture is obsessed with making women look youthful).

        There is a whole universe of things that men can do to suggest social power and thus become more attractive. Consider developing a strong sense of style or a clever sense of humor. Physical wealth is a strong display of social power, which is why some guys maintain beautiful cars even though they're otherwise living in poverty. Think about how you can accentuate your life to emphasize your own strengths.

        The most basic and perhaps most useful way to show that you have social power is to be confident. By demonstrating an ability to speak and act in a self-assured manner, you can show that you have nothing to fear from other men, which makes you seem relatively powerful. This is why it is often said that confidence is everything in the dating world. Become confident, and the rest of the pickup game boils down to details; fail to exhibit confidence, and you will always struggle to get dates.

   

    Perfect your body language. Body language is more than just standing with a straight back and making eye contact: it's the whole package, everything you do to communicate that isn't the words coming out of your mouth. Body language is the primary way that human beings communicate emotional states to each other, making it an all-important “language” to learn if you want to be at the top of your dating game. The rules of thumb are as follows:

        More eye contact is better than less eye contact.

        Smile whenever you make eye contact. Don't look away until you've smiled.

        Don't stare. Try to keep your eyes from glancing at a woman's body if you're talking to her.

        Adopt an open stance: legs and arms uncrossed, shoulders back, head level. This makes you appear confident, relaxed, and receptive.

        Don't mumble. Speak clearly and without hesitation.

        Lean in slightly to the person you're interested in when you speak to her. Bringing your head slightly forward is fine if you're seated.

   成功者的習慣

Daily Habits Highly Successful People Have

By Christina DesMaraisContributor, Inc.com@salubriousdish

Work out for a strong body, which holds up a strong mind.

"Successful entrepreneurship requires more than just mental fitness, it requires physical fitness as well. I have a daily workout regime that started in 2013 and has grown and evolved in step with our business. It started with CrossFit (high intensity interval type training) and has expanded from there. Clearing your mind and challenging yourself physically with a tough workout every day prepares you for the daily challenges of business. A strong body holds up a strong mind."

Never give up.

"My daughter would say my favorite saying is 'Never give up!' It sounds trivial, but there are so many times that if I accepted 'No,' I would not have moved along the pendulum. It's a delicate dance of fortitude, polite aggression and compartmentalized fear. Sometimes you just have to hit at it from a different angle. I often conceptualize chipping away at the wall. Different angles, different tools and a little muscle. Rarely you get the answer you want out of the gate and often times through the process you find you need to adjust your approach, but the end goal always the same."

Surround yourself with positive people.

"Social media has become a cesspool for the haters and trolls. Don't let negative people hold you back. Understand that negativity generally comes from unhappy people and those who envy you. Happy successful people don't tear others down. Surround yourself with ambitious, positive people. It's too easy to focus on the negative and there's just no upside to that."

Listen and learn.

"Listen to your peers, employees and customers.  You will always learn something from listening.  I also find that it could facilitate relationships just by listening, and really let people feel that you care.  It helps ease any tensions, even if it doesn't immediately solve a problem, it could relieve any negative feelings just by letting people express themselves whether it be an unhappy customer, a stressed employee or colleague."

Put in extra effort to stay organized.

"Making lists and setting daily goals helps us stay focused each day. There are so many fires to put out each day when you own your own business and working to stay organized and task oriented helps us stay on track and meet our goals. We also have planning meetings to map out our vision and goals for the next six and 12 months. This helps us focus on the big picture of growing a new business and measure our success and failures over the year."

 Pick three things to do each day.

"Running a business can be quite overwhelming, with the work truly never ending. When you have a lot to do, my philosophy is to just pick 3 things to do each day. Do those three things first in the morning, and then wherever the rest of your day takes you, you know at least you're progressing and have accomplished what you needed to."

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周六(6/22)1.你的態度 讓你向上提升 2. 快樂小因子 PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

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你的態度 讓你向上提升

Ways to Keep Your Attitude Up When Life Tries to Bring You Down

Chris Widener

Keep your eye on the goal.

One of the biggest problems with trouble is that it gets your focus off where it should be. When racecar drivers get into trouble, they keep their eyes straight ahead and do not move them away. There is too much chance of wrecking otherwise. Instead, their eyes are on the goal—and this keeps them out of trouble.

If you find yourself getting down about circumstances, sit down and write out what your goal is, and give some thought to how you can achieve it. Make sure you’re keeping the important things important.

Focus on solutions, not problems.

“The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” the old saying goes. Negative circumstances don’t sit idly by—they scream for our attention. When we face difficult circumstances, we tend to dwell on them. We talk about them, fret about them and give them way too much attention.

Instead of talking about problems, talk about solutions. Instead of spending your time thinking about how bad things are, think about how good they will be! Don’t have family or staff meetings about the problems and how big they are; have meetings on the solutions and how you will implement them. Don’t let yourself or other team members complain; encourage them to solve, with an emphasis on the positive results that will come from doing so. Then take some time to put these solutions down on paper so you can monitor your progress.

Get some positive input.

The mind tends to build on itself, so when we begin to go in one direction (like worrying), it can be a slippery slope. One thing we must do is get our thoughts back on track with positive ideas.

When circumstances have you against the emotional wall, meet with a friend who can encourage you. Pick up a good book and read. Whatever external influence you can get to put your attitude back on the positive side of the tracks—do it! It must be one of our first goals to start plugging good things into our minds to power our attitudes.

 

快樂小因子

Little Things You Can Do to Be Happier Right Now

Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is an excellent mood booster when you've hit a slump," offers Reiki Master healer and sex and relationship coach Cara Kovacs. "Citrus scents wake you up, lavender or ylang ylang can soothe, and warm scents like vanilla or clove can make you feel warm and safe. Keep essential oils by your desk or in your purse, she suggests.

To get started, put a few drops on your palms, rub them together, and gently waft them over your face. This simple ritual is both calming and elevating. Plus, it makes you pause and luxuriate in a moment.

"Appreciating the present is one of the best ways to feel lighter and happier, says Kovacs."

Recite Affirmations

"Affirmations are statements or propositions that are declared to be true," explains author Shawngela Pierce, who studies naturopathic medicine.

Regarding the benefits, Pierce references a 2015 brain-imaging study published in the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Journal, where scientists reviewed what happens in the brain when people practice self-affirmation. They found that participants who were affirmed showed increased activity in the region of the brain that processes self-worth and valuation.

One easy way to get in the daily habit of using affirmations is to come up with five aspirational sentences about yourself beginning with the words, "I am." For example, "I am living my best life," "I am loved," or "I am healthy." Then, repeat those statements aloud first thing in the morning and again before you go to sleep at night. This will boost your self-esteem and program your subconscious to think more positive thoughts.

Have more chocolate.

When it comes to your emotions, trust your gut. According to research from the California Institute of Technology, about 90 percent of your serotonin is produced in the gastrointestinal tract. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter found in the brain that scientists refer to as the 'happy chemical' because it contributes to well-being.

"We are what we eat, and studies have shown that the connection between gut and brain greatly affect our mood," says Dixie Lincoln-Nichols, certified health and wellness coach and creator of Inside Outer Beauty Market. "Eat foods that increase happy feelings. Dark chocolate, for example, reduces the stress hormone cortisol. Protein-packed quinoa contains flavonoids, which are a group of plant chemicals found in fruits, veggies, grains, tea, and wine. Flavonoids have been said to have a calming effect."

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周六(6/15)1.走路與長壽 2.花錢快樂嗎? PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

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走路與長壽

Walking benefits: increasing daily steps linked to longer life, study shows

Australian Associated Press

Research that monitored 3,000 Australians over 15 years shows sedentary people who increase number of steps have significantly reduced mortality

Walking

Walking further each day may help prolong life, research shows. Photograph: Dave Hunt/AAP

Increasing the daily number of steps a person takes is linked to living longer, new research shows.

The study by the George Institute for Global Health and the Menzies Research Institute in Tasmania, published in the PLOS ONE journal, monitored 3,000 Australians over 15 years.

Each participant, with an average age of almost 59 at the start of the study, was given a pedometer to measure the number of steps they took daily, study author Professor Terry Dwyer said.

A sedentary person who increased his or her steps from 1,000 to 10,000 a day, seven days a week, was found to have a 46% lower mortality risk. If increased to 3,000 a day five days a week, the person had a 12% lower risk.

The association between daily steps and mortality was largely independent of factors such as Body Mass Index and smoking, Dwyer said.

Previous studies have measured physical activity by questionnaire only. Dwyer said this study was the first to use pedometers to make the link between exercise and reduced mortality over time in people who appeared healthy at the outset.

“Exercise should now be seen as a potential means of increasing longevity,” he said. “We know through this research, that daily step count is inversely associated with all-cause mortality.

“People who increase their daily steps appear to have a substantial reduction in mortality risk.

“Pedometers and activity devices are growing in popularity so the ability to measure and realise the benefits of exercise are at everyone’s fingertips and we should all take advantage.”

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花錢快樂嗎?

Does Spending Money Make You Happy? | Social Psychology Online

socialpsychonline

You’ve probably heard that money can’t buy happiness. It also can’t buy you love. It also doesn’t grow on trees. Come to think of it, people are pretty insistent that money doesn’t do much at all…except make the world go ’round.

Happiness course In general, there’s some truth to the idea that money and happiness are not inextricably linked. Although it’s true that people in poverty tend to be less happy than people who have more money, once your income affords you a reasonably comfortable life, having even more money usually doesn’t mean being even happier.

Nevertheless, people often think that more money = more happiness (with some notable exceptions) and that we can find satisfaction through buying the things we want most, but the enlightened among us are quick to correct this notion.

Indeed, research shows that the more materialistic people are, the less happy they are. They’re more likely to be depressed. They tend to have lower self-esteem. They have poorer relationships and are less willing to get involved in their communities. There are real downsides to our materialistic urges.

Sometimes Spending Money Makes You Happier

Does Spending Money Make You Happy? New research has started to show, however, that spending money can lead to happiness…but only if you spend wisely. That is, there are some types of spending that actually do make you feel better.

For example, several studies have shown that spending money on experiences (vs. products) can make us happier. In other words, being super materialistic and stocking up on fancy kitchen gadgets for yourself isn’t going to have the happiness payoff you’re looking for. Putting that same amount of money toward an interesting trip or a night at the theatre could actually have such a payoff.

Other research has also shown that people do feel happier after spending money on other people. So finding an opportunity to spend a little money on someone else–buying them a snack from the vending machine, donating to charity, or paying for the coffee of the person behind you in line–might be a way to turn cash into happiness.

All of this is just to say that it isn’t that “money can’t buy happiness”…it’s that poorly spent money doesn’t buy happiness.

Spending Money Your Way

psychology of happiness Of course, social psychologists learned a long time ago that there’s probably no such thing as a one-size-fits-all psychological theory of everyone. Just because things tend to be true about how human beings think and interact with the world, it doesn’t mean that humans aren’t messy and complicated.

This is especially true when it comes to happiness.

Even though spending money on experiences tends to make people happier than spending on material products, it’s especially true for people who already prefer to make experiential purchases anyway. Also, even though spending money on other people tends to make people happier than spending on oneself, it’s especially true for people whose values emphasize concern for others.

In other words, spending money in a way that fits your personality and values is what makes you happier.

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週四(6/13)1.外遇的理由! 2.常勝者的策略?今晚7:30 開始

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外遇的理由!

Reasons Why Married People Cheat

By Sheri Stritof | verywellmind

There are many reasons why married people cheat. Upwards of 40 percent of married couples are impacted by infidelity, and despite the high percentage, most people—even those who stray—will say that cheating is wrong. Risk factors such as personality disorders and childhood issues, as well as opportunities such as social media and poor boundaries, can increase the chance that one of these reasons will actually lead to some type of affair.

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger—the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe she had second thoughts about getting married or he was jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage—neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated—that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship. Less often, the cheater doesn't value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn't care about the consequences.

Risk Factors with the Relationship

Problems in the marital relationship can also be a risk factor for cheating. Some of these include:

    Lack of communication

    Emotional and/or physical disconnect

    Low compatibility (people who married for the wrong reasons): Low compatibility can lead to a sense of "buyer's remorse"

    Domestic violence and emotional abuse

    Financial pressures

    Lack of respect

Reasons for Cheating

With or without individual or marital risk factors there are a number of possible reasons for marital infidelity. Underlying many of the reasons, however, lie a few threads. One is the role of unmet needs. One partner may be incapable of fulfilling their partner's needs, but far too often, those needs have not been expressed. Marital partners are not mind readers. Another is the lack of addressing problems directly.

Running away from problems (conflict avoidance) rather than staying and addressing them is another crucial element in communication and commitment in marriage.

Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating include:

Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: Dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or sexually is common. Marriage is work, and without mutual nurturing couples may grow apart. A sexless marriage is often claimed as a reason by both men and women.

Feeling Unappreciated: Feeling unvalued or neglected can lead to infidelity in both sexes, but is more common in women. When both partners work, women still often carry the brunt of the work when it comes to caring for the home and children. In this situation, the affair validates the person's sense of worthiness. On the flip side of this, however, is that feeling neglected may be related to unrealistic expectations of a partner rather than true neglect.

Lack of Commitment: Everything else aside, a 2018 study found that people who are less committed to their relationship are more likely to cheat.

Boredom: As noted, boredom can lead to an affair in both men and women who are looking for the thrill of the chase and the excitement and passion associated with newfound love. Some people claim that, rather than looking for a substitute for their partner, their fling is a way to spice up their marriage. Falling out of love is also frequently cited as a reason for cheating, but maybe a lack of understanding of the normal maturing of love in marriage.

常勝者的策略?

The Most Effective Strategies for Success         Heidi Grant  hbr.org

For years, I’ve been trying to convince people that success is not about who you are, but about what you do.

Roughly two years ago, I wrote about the “Nine Things Successful People Do Differently,” which became HBR’s most-read piece of content over that time span. It was a list of strategies, based on decades of scientific research, proven effective for setting and reaching challenging goals. I later expanded that post into a short e-book, explaining how you can make each one a habit. But how would readers know if they were doing enough of each “Thing”? (After all, we’re terrible judges of ourselves.) To help answer that question, last spring I created something I called the Nine Things Diagnostics — it’s a free, online set of questionnaires designed to measure your own use of each of the nine things in pursuit of your personal and professional goals.

I now have responses from over 30,000 people who’ve logged on and completed one or more of the Nine Things Diagnostics. The results are fascinating, and a bit surprising even to me. First, each of the Nine Things had a significant impact on success. (That actually didn’t surprise me, for obvious reasons.).

But which packed the biggest punch? To find out, I recently took a look at the responses of about 7,000 people who had completed every Nine Things Diagnostic, along with a brief measure of how successful they felt they had been in reaching their own goals in the past.

In order of effect magnitude, the most impactful strategies were:

    Have Grit — Persistence over the long haul is key

    Know Exactly How Far You Have Left to Go — Monitor your progress

    Get Specific — Have a crystal-clear idea of exactly what success will look like

    Seize the Moment to Act on Your Goals — Know in advance what you will do, and when and where you will do it

    Focus on What You Will Do, Not What You Won’t Do — Instead of focusing on bad habits, it’s more effective to replace them with better ones.

    Build your Willpower Muscle — If you don’t have enough willpower, you can get more using it.

    Focus on Getting Better, Rather than Being Good — Think about your goals as opportunities to improve, rather than to prove yourself

    Be a Realistic Optimist — Visualize how you will make success happen by overcoming obstacles

    Don’t Tempt Fate — No one has willpower all the time, so don’t push your luck

Notice how persistence is at the very top of the list? While we marvel at people who’ve shown incredible perseverance — Earnest Shackleton, Nelson Mandela, Susan B. Anthony — I wonder how many people have ever thought to blame their own failures on “not hanging in there long enough”? In my experience, very few. Instead, we assume we lack the ability to succeed. We decide that we don’t have what it takes — whatever that is — to meet the challenge. And we really couldn’t be more wrong. Grit is not an innate gift. Persisting is something we learn to do, when (and if) we realize how well it pays off.

Or take “knowing how far you have left to go.” Even someone with a healthy amount of grit will probably find his or her motivation flagging if they don’t have a clear sense of where they are now and where they want to end up. How much weight would a contestant on The Biggest Loser lose if he only weighed himself at the beginning and the end, instead of once a week? How well would an Olympic-level athlete perform if she only timed her official races, and never her practices? We can see how essential monitoring is for others’ performance, and yet somehow miss its importance for our own.

But does that mean that the items further down the list aren’t as important? Not quite. For instance, #7, “focusing on getting better, rather than being good,” actually predicted using each of the other eight things! People who focused on “being good,” on the other hand, were less likely to use the other tactics on the list. In fact, if you do a lot of “be good” thinking, you are less likely to be gritty or have willpower, and you are more likely to tempt fate. You’re also, not surprisingly, less likely to reach your goals.

Perhaps the most remarkable finding, however, was the extent to which people weren’t using these tactics.

Respondents answered each of the diagnostic questions on 1-5 scale, with 1 being “not at all true of me,” 3 being “somewhat true of me,” and 5 being “very true of me.”

If your average score for a particular tactic falls between Not at all and Somewhat, then you really aren’t doing what you need to do to be effective. Here’s how the percentages break down:

most-popular-success-strat (1).jpg

So about 40 percent of responders aren’t being realistically optimistic, or focusing on what they will do, rather than what they won’t. And 50 percent of responders aren’t being specific, seizing the moment, monitoring progress, having grit, and having willpower. An astonishing 70+ percent of respondents also don’t bother avoiding tempting fate. (Apparently, people just love to put themselves in harm’s way.)

be-good-get-better (1).jpgHere’s some good news: an incredible 90 percent of responders report pursuing at least some of their goals with Get Better mindsets. But here’s the Bad News: 80 percent of responders are also pursuing goals with Be Good mindsets. So there’s still way too much I-have-to-prove-myself thinking going on out there, and it’s sabotaging our success.

If you have a few spare minutes, I encourage you to take the Nine Things Diagnostics yourself, assuming you haven’t already. It’s a quick yet powerful way to target your weaknesses (and learn about your strengths). Remember, improvement is only possible when you know where you’re going wrong, and what you can do about it.

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