花 帶來好心情 5/25

 房內擺上美麗的花朵，第一眼就讓你心情好。

 美國花藝學會與哈佛醫學院的心理系助理臨床教授伊特考芙（Nancy Etcoff,）曾做過六個月的研究，屋內有擺花會影響人的心情，慈悲為眾生的感覺特強，而且增強一整天的好心情。

Why Having Flowers on Your Desk Brings More Happiness

It’s Monday morning. You spent a lovely couple of hours on Saturday afternoon sampling one of the many floristry classes Melbourne has to offer. Now the beautiful bouquet that you worked so hard to create is destined to sit in an empty house for most of the coming week - unloved and un-admired - whilst you’re spending time on your commute and at your desk.

Here’s why taking the flowers to work with you and enjoying them on your desk for the week is the best idea ever! 

It’s a well-known fact that a simple clear office desk equals a clear mind for the week ahead. But adding a table flower arrangement to that scene transforms your work environment from just a clean, uncluttered space into a positively inspirational one. Glances at that astonishingly gorgeous peony, while you’re on the phone, can help you take a slow breath, savouring the aroma and beauty of the flower and finding the strength to stay calm and professional.  

Participants in studies about the effect of flowers have reported less depression and anxiety as well as a greater sense of life satisfaction. Even just a small posy of handpicked wildflowers will make you feel lighter, happier, less easily prone to a mood slump and what's more, you'll also be feeling more creative!

 

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周六(4/30)1.快樂心 易成功

快樂心 易成功

要改變習慣都是需要練習的：

    每天寫下3件令人覺得感激或讓人開心的事連續21天

    每天都先從正面掃描世界，而不是先看負面

imanujkapoor.com

A happy mind will always lead to success - Imanujkapoor

    Success is not the key of happiness; happiness is the key to the success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

    Albert Schweitzer

True, isn’t it?

Take a pause for a minute and then think about a moment when you felt happy in what you did. The secret of being successful in life is stay happy and accept where you are in life, and then making the most out of it every day.

According to Dale Carnegie, Success is getting what you want but happiness is wanting what you get. It is recommended to not let success determine your happiness but do the vice-a-versa.

Many people would try to measure happiness and would also look at their bank accounts and wallets if they are happy. However, happiness is something that can never be measured.

So, what does “Success” mean anyway?

But, what exactly is success and how can it be defined? Also, what does it mean to be successful in life?

Source: Google Images

According to Wikipedia, success may refer to the attainment of higher status or achievement of completing a goal. Being successful in life could mean different things to different people like for some it would mean the achievement of desired vision and planned goals while for others, it would mean getting a social status in the society.

For most people, success means having a nice house and a car, and a lot of money in your bank account.

But, the truth is that there is no “one fits all” definition of success anyways. Thus, it is crucial that you ascertain your own definition of success else you will end up chasing a superficial definition of success.

As Bessie Anderson Stanley puts it, “He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has left the world better than he found it, whose life was an inspiration.”

So, does success give you happiness?

And, the answer is a big “No”. Then, what is the secret of happiness? Well, the real secret of happiness is to let go and get on with your life.

There are times when you keep dwelling on the past as there are a lot of events that happen in one’s life. These events can be both happy and sad from someone who got married to someone who lost a job and so on.

However, we need to let go of those events as quickly as possible in order to move on in our life. A human being who is truly happy from the inside is a successful person on this earth. Personally, for me, I haven’t found anyone like this and all the people who have reached the “heights” of success are pretty miserable.

For example, the following formula for success and happiness that is guaranteed to fail: “When I have ___________________, I’ll be happy” (fill in those blanks with your own goal like “When I have a million dollars in my bank account, I’ll be happy”.

It is bound to fail as one doesn’t necessarily lead to another. There are many people around us who put a lot of focus on wealth, status, and fame to be successful in life but fail to realize that these three aspects may lead them to be unhappy and unsatisfied and without a sense of having meaning in life.

Thus, it is very important for one to possess happiness, purpose, fulfillment, wisdom, and impact along with the other above three aspects if you want to be successful in life. Just by having fame, status, and wealth may create an imbalance in life and will leave you to be unhappy and sad,

According to Bruce Lee, Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.

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周六(10/9)1.找尋真愛 2.寬容的力量

 板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:30--9:30

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周五 (5/14)1. 人際關係利害得失2.兩則新聞

 聚會時間 晚上7:00--7:25 請準時 謝謝

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

人際關係利害得失

Health Benefits of Social Interaction
mercycare.org
 
Spending quality time with friends or loved ones can just feel good for the soul. Ever left a gathering with friends and felt refreshed and jovial? Time spent with those that you trust and that care about you is good for everyone. Too much time time on your own can make you feel lonely and out of touch so it is important to make an effort to spend time with others. 
Benefits of Socialization:
 
    Better mental health – it can lighten your mood and make you feel happier
    Lower your risk of dementia – social interaction is good for your brain health
    Promotes a sense of safety, belonging and security
    Allows you to confide in others and let them confide in you
 
In-Person Connections
 
Social networks and online interactions may give people a false sense of connectedness. We still need physic in-person connections for our own mental health. Schedule time with friends (in-person) on a regular basis to avoid loneliness. It doesn’t have to be a full night out. It could be a 15 minute walk with a neighbor or meeting up for a quick coffee.
Your Circle
 
Your default peer group is at work and relationships at work are important, but relationships outside work are important too. Relationships with neighbors, the parents of your kids’ friends, or others that share common interests with you are good for your well-being. Take a second to evaluate the people you spend time with and look for ways to branch out if that circle doesn’t go beyond colleagues.
 
Why Being Social is Good for You
May 01, 2018 | Counseling and Psychology | South University
 
As humans, social interaction is essential to every aspect of our health. Research shows that having a strong network of support or strong community bonds fosters both emotional and physical health and is an important component of adult life. Over the years, there have been a number of studies showcasing the relationship between social support and the quality of physical and psychological health.
The Research
 
While most studies examining the benefits of social support have focused on the elderly (Steptoe, Dockray, & Wardle, 2009), having a strong social network is crucial for psychological and physical health, regardless of age. For example, a study on incoming college freshmen found that social support was effective in reducing depression in both those who have healthy self-esteem and those with a poor self-image (Cohen, Sherrod, & Clark, 1986). The authors of this study found that belonging to a social network helped ease the stress for people entering university life.
 
Social involvement is also important as we age. In a study of Europeans over the age of 50, Sirven and Debrand (2008) found that individuals who participated in social or community activities were more likely to report good or very good health. The study was based on data from the Survey of Health, Aging and Retirement in Europe (SHARE) and included 11 European countries and 22,000 households (31,000 individuals).
What We Think
 
At South University, we hope that you learn from these studies and continue to build the support networks in your lives. In addition to the psychological and physical benefits of having a support system, having friends and family who know about your academic and professional goals may help you to achieve them. The support and encouragement from your friends and family will motivate you, and you can ask them to check in regularly on how you are doing in classes. Because they believe in you and because you see them so often, you won’t want to disappoint them. Plus, they’ll be excited to hear about your success!
 
For the last week of the Student Hero Contest, we hope you continue to network with other students online and also start talking with your family and friends about your online education experiences. If your hero is a family member or a friend you see every day rather than a student, we encourage you to still enter the contest and tell us about why he or she is so important to you!
Sources
 
兩則新聞
New Taipei Lions Club COVID cluster infection rises to 11
Taiwan News
 
TAIPEI (Taiwan News) — Taiwan's Central Epidemic Command Center (CECC) on Wednesday (May 12) reported the number of cases associated with a Lions Club International chapter in New Taipei city has risen to 11.
 
Late on Monday evening (May 10), the former president of the Lions Club chapter in New Taipei's Wugu District had informed fellow members that he tested positive for COVID-19 and advised "group members to not venture out" and that they "need to be mentally prepared." During a press conference on Tuesday (May 11), Health and Welfare Minister and CECC head Chen Shih-chung (陳時中) announced that case No. 1,203 is a Taiwanese man in his 60s who has no recent history of traveling abroad.
 
On Wednesday, Chen announced that among the 16 local cases reported that day, there were 10 cases associated with the Lions Club officer. They are five men and five women between the ages of 50 and 70 and are listed as case No. 1,218, case No. 1,219, case No. 1,223, case No. 1,224, case No. 1,225, case No. 1,226, case No. 1,227, case No. 1,228, case No. 1,229, and case No. 1,230.
 
Of these cases, one is the wife of case No. 1,203, while the rest are his friends. Because all 10 had been listed as contacts of case No. 1,203, they were tested for the coronavirus, and the result came back positive for COVID-19 on May 12.
 
Most of them reportedly have mild symptoms or are asymptomatic. An epidemiological investigation into further contacts in the cluster is ongoing.
 
The Lions Club leader was reportedly shocked to learn of his infection and is unable to determine how he contracted the disease. A fellow club member revealed that the former president had attended a Wugu chapter meeting to mark the transfer of his role as president to his successor on May 6, when the CECC said he was potentially infectious.
 
There were approximately 20 to 30 members present at the meeting and the list of attendees was provided to the health department. The club member said that the gathering was held at Love Windmill Chinese Restaurant (大風車婚宴會館) at No. 395 Jixian Road in New Taipei's Luzhou District.
 
When asked by the media on Wednesday whether he believed the man was a superspreader, CECC Spokesman Chuang Jen-hsiang (莊人祥) said, "Actually, this definition is not good for this case. Most people seek medical attention when they are sick and he too was quickly diagnosed."
 
He then stressed the importance of wearing masks and tried to reassure the public that "Although the virus is strong, its spread can be prevented."
 
India Covid: Dozens of bodies wash up on banks of Ganges river
BBC News
 
A man walks past burning pyres with people who died from the coronavirus disease (Covid-19), on the banks of the river Ganges in the northern state of Uttar Pradeshimage copyrightReuters
image captionVictims of coronavirus are cremated on the banks of the Ganges river in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh
 
The bodies of at least 40 people have washed up on the banks of the Ganges river in northern India, officials say.
 
The discovery, near the border between the states of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh, was confirmed to the BBC on Monday.
 
It is not clear how the bodies came to be there, but local media reports suggest they may be Covid-19 victims.
 
Some media reports say as many as 100 bodies have been found, and that their condition suggests they may have been in the river for several days.
 
"There is a possibility that these bodies have come out of Uttar Pradesh," a local official, Ashok Kumar, told the BBC after questioning local residents.
 
He said the remains would be buried or cremated.
 
Officials said the bodies appeared to be bloated and partially burnt, and that they may have ended up in the river as part of the practice of cremating victims of coronavirus along the river Ganges in Uttar Pradesh, India's NDTV news channel reported.
 
Some local residents and journalists told BBC Hindi a shortage of wood for cremations and the rising costs associated with funerals were leaving some families with no option but to put the bodies of loved ones who had died from coronavirus directly into the river.
 
Local resident Chandra Mohan said: "Private hospitals are looting people. Common people are not left with money to pay a priest and spend more on cremation at the river bank. They are asking 2,000 rupees [£20; $27] just to get the corpse out of the ambulance. The river has become their last recourse so people are immersing corpses in the river."
 
 
 

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周五 (4/30)1. 與不喜歡的人相處 2.吸引力法則

 聚會時間 晚上7:00--7:25 請準時 謝謝

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

與不喜歡的人相處

12 Ways Successful People Deal With People They Dislike
Deep Patel forbes
 
1. Let It Go
 
Often we so dread interacting with someone we dislike that our anxiety levels start mounting before we even step into the room with that person. When your nerves are jangling, it can be all too easy to overreact and jump down someone’s throat or say something you might regret.
 
Emotions are like a genie: once you let them out of the bottle, it’s hard to get them back under control. So if you know you’ll be dealing with someone who stresses you out, take a deep breath and channel your inner Zen. Quiet your mind. Adopt a “let it go” attitude. If you feel your ire start to rise, focus on listening more and talking less. Remember, you don’t have to eat words you never say.
 
2. Focus On Healthy Ways To Communicate
 
If you find yourself dealing with someone who gives you chronic hives, it’s time to find a way to calmly but assertively express how you feel. Most problems stem from the way we communicate with each other. Instead of reacting (which often means overreacting), try explaining how you feel in a nonconfrontational tone. One of the best ways of doing this is by making “I” statements.
 
An “I” statement uses the formula: “When you ___, I feel ___.” You might say something like: “When you focus on your phone instead of looking at me when I’m talking, I feel like you’re not valuing what I have to say.” Then wait to hear how the other person responds. Be specific about which behaviors make you upset and what you would like them to do to correct the problem. Once you’ve made your point, be sure to listen to their side.
 
3. Practice Civility
 
Extending common courtesies to everyone is a good rule of thumb, no matter who you are dealing with. Treating everyone with politeness and respect, even when you disagree, will create a baseline of civility. That means treating others as you want to be treated. Even small gestures of kindness can help ease tensions and forge goodwill.
 
Put on your best manners and focus on handling situations with grace and poise. If you do so, those around you will respect you and see you as having integrity. Avoid personal attacks and consistently act with a level of decorum and you’ll have the upper hand when dealing with those who want to tear you down.
 
4. Sidestep When Possible
 
The reality is that dealing with a difficult person can be similar to picking your way through a minefield. For example, you may know that certain topics are hot-button issues with a person. If that’s the case, it may be best to sidestep certain conversations.
 
Yes, you should be able to voice your concerns, and picking your battles doesn’t mean avoiding confrontation altogether. But you should also think carefully about what you decide to tackle and when—many of our problems are situational and may dissipate with time. Consider what issues are worth your time and what you’re feeling emotionally up for dealing with. If someone wants to discuss something you know is going to make you (or them) see red, calmly tell them you want to table that discussion for the time being.
 
5. Fake It Till You Make It
 
Staying composed isn’t always easy, especially when dealing with someone who grates on your nerves. Instead of trying to beat them at their own game, it may be time to bluff your way out.
 
Think of this as an opportunity to perfect your ultimate poker face. If this were a game of high-stakes cards, you would do everything in your power to conceal your hand. You would be deadpan, showing only what you want to show. This in essence is how you distance yourself from someone emotionally, and it’s a great way to give yourself emotional space during difficult situations.
 
6. Be Mindful Of Your Emotions
 
While you may be practicing presenting an expressionless face to the world, don’t attempt to ignore your emotions altogether. Though emotional distance means keeping someone at arm’s length, you also have to stay mindful of how you are feeling. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t know when it’s happening.
 
So take note of your inner emotional rollercoaster. What is this person saying or doing to tick you off? By recognizing what is going on with you internally, you can take steps to keep them from doing it again, such as knowing when to disengage. Find a way to give yourself space to regroup and move on.
 
7. Put A Positive Spin On It
 
If you have to deal on an ongoing basis with someone you dislike, it may be helpful to try to put a positive spin on how you perceive them, or at least have fewer negative assumptions about them.
 
So instead of focusing on a pessimistic thought (“My co-worker just looked at me and rolled her eyes — she must be thinking something negative about me!”), try to see it from a more neutral standpoint (“My co-worker rolled her eyes, but she might not have intended that toward me. She might just be thinking of something else, like how much work she has…”). Reframing it this way will allow you to feel less provoked and help you let little things go.
 
8. Find Common Ground
 
Instead of avoiding a person who drives you crazy, you may want to try spending a little more time with them. This probably goes against every fiber of your being, especially if the person makes your list of Top Most Annoying People. But if you spend a little more time getting to know them, such as working on a project with them, you’ll get to understand them better.
 
As they say: walk a mile in another person’s shoes and you will see things from their perspective. Taking the time to understand a person you dislike can help you have more empathy and compassion for them. You may see that there are reasons they are the way they are. Being able to build a rapport with them will help you bridge those frustrating communication gaps. You may even find that you have more in common than you imagined.
 
9. Recognize The Value In Differing Opinions
 
Understanding other people’s perspectives is an important leadership skill. After all, managers and leaders are called on to oversee people from a variety of backgrounds.
 
From the standpoint of getting the best performance out of your employees, it doesn’t really matter if you like them or not; nor does it matter if they like you. In fact, it can be helpful to seek out the perspective of people with vastly different points of view. They may be able to offer unique insights that challenge and provoke new thinking.
 
10. Take A Good Look In The Mirror
 
If you’re having ongoing issues with someone and are having a hard time understanding why, you may want to look inward. Ask yourself what it is about this person that sets you off. Are you letting your sensitivities blow a situation out of proportion? Sometimes we let jealousy or envy get in the way.
 
Could resentment be playing a role in how you deal with this person? It can also be easy to misinterpret someone’s actions or read ulterior motives into them. Is there something in your own experiences that may be unfairly influencing how you see someone? It’s important to be aware of your own biases or preconceived notions. Recognizing that you share some of the blame may be the first step toward correcting a problem.
 
11. Find Your Circle Of Trust
 
Don’t attempt to tackle everything by yourself — that will only leave you feeling isolated and more frustrated. Try tapping into a support system. Turning to a trusted circle of friends will give you the space you need to feel heard, allowing you to vent and air your grievances.
 
A mentor or a trusted colleague may be able to offer advice on how to deal with a particularly touchy situation at work. Just knowing that someone understands what you are going through can be helpful. And your friends may be able to give you a new perspective on how to handle a challenging person.
 
12. Focus On Yourself
 
The bottom line is that you only have control over yourself and your own actions. Instead of fixating on how much you dislike someone or how angry they make you feel, focus on your strategy for handling them. Think about what you can do to limit their ability to get under your skin.
 
Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to a disagreeable person. They aren’t worth it. Remember, no one can drag you down and steal your joy unless you let them.
 

吸引力法則
How Does The Law Of Attraction Work? 6 Key Facts You Should Know
thelawofattraction
When you first start reading about manifestation techniques, it’s common to find yourself asking one major question: how does the Law of Attraction work? And even if you’ve been working to attract your dreams for a while, you might still find yourself getting more curious about the theoretical underpinnings of what you’re doing.
 
While there are many fascinating details and burgeoning areas of new research, here are the key facts you need to know about how the Law of Attraction works.
1. It Works Constantly
 
When thinking of questions about how the Law of Attraction works, people commonly assume that they can make it work at specific times or do something to bring it into their lives. What you need to understand is that the Law of Attraction is constantly working. It is influencing everything you do and experience throughout each day.
 
So, it makes more sense to think about how you can harness the power of the Law of Attraction, directing the associated energy in ways that allow you to get what you want.
 
Find out more about the science behind The Law Of Attraction now, just click here!
 
2. Your Frequency Determines Your Results
 
Whether you’re vibrating on a high or low frequency is the primary factor determining whether you successfully manifest your dreams. Given how the Law of Attraction works, you magnetically draw (i.e. attract) things vibrating on the same frequency. These are things that reflect your internal state.
 
This means that if you work to maintain a high frequency (though positivity, love, compassion, and productivity) then you inevitably end up with more good things in your life.
3. It Is Influenced By The Unconscious
 
You might think of yourself as a really positive person, but you may still attract negative things into your life due to unconscious parts of your mind. These parts are shaped by your genetic makeup and your underlying neurology, so you’re not to blame for their existence!
 
law-attraction-work There’s scientific proof that certain fears and limitations can be passed down from parent to children. However, the good news is that these parts of you can be slowly reprogrammed through techniques like affirmations and visualization.
4. The Intention Point Is The Seat Of Manifestation
 
My own Law of Attraction results improved dramatically once I discovered the Intention Point. If you want to learn more about the specifics, dive into “Origins” and learn how to identify and influence this crucial part of you.
 
With respect to how the Law of Attraction works though, the main thing you need to know is that the Intention Point is the powerful space that connects your heart and mind. Once you find it in yourself, you can use its position to assess your needs and figure out what might be blocking your manifestation work.
 
In essence, it’s the electric field of your heart, which studies show generates 5,000 times more magnetic power than that of the brain.
5. What You Focus On Is What You Receive
 
Just as your underlying vibration attracts things vibrating on the same energetic frequency, the things you focus on are the things you’re most likely to get. Some people claim to be constantly focusing on what they want (e.g. financial abundance). However, if they’re not receiving it then they’re most likely focusing on the wrong aspect of what they want.
 
For example, they may be feeling desperately worried that they won’t get money when attracting money really requires feeling confident and excited about the fact that you will get money. The message here is that the Law of Attraction doesn’t just require you to keep your heart and mind full of your dreams. Instead, it requires you to do so in a way that is fully positive and trusting.
6. We’re Constantly Learning More About The Science
 
law-attraction-work
 
Although the Law of Attraction has been intermittently popular (in different ways and sometimes under different names), it has recently drawn sustained interest from scientists working in psychology, neurology and quantum physics.
 
As such, we’re discovering more and more about how our biology and the makeup of the Universe work in harmony to respond to the constant flow of energy. If you’re interested in learning more about this burgeoning research field, check out our coverage of some of the most exciting studies!
 
If there’s one thing you take away from this quick summary of how the Law of Attraction works, let it be this: the more time you spend learning how to work with the Law of Attraction, the more you will get back from the world around you. You have limitless potential, and so does the Universe! Be bold, and revel in the abundance that follows.
 
If this subject matter interests you, be sure to join Bob Doyle and Dr. Travis S. Taylor for a 3-part in-depth exploration into the Science Behind the Secret and claim the awesome creative power that is yours! Just click here now and gain immediate access to a treasure-trove of knowledge.

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周五 (4/23) 1.習慣力 影響生活 2.愛情的意義

 聚會時間 晚上7:00--7:25 請準時 謝謝

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號  陽光甜味咖啡

習慣力 影響生活

How your daily habits affect your life
Olga Geidane
 
I can tell what habits you have from the way your life is: your daily routine affects not only your private life, but also your finances, your social life, your relationships, your work or business, ​​​​your personal growth... everything. So whether you want to make a tiny shift or take a massive, huge, life-changing step - you should start with your habits!
 
Look around and at yourself: Why did you dress up that way? How did you brush your teeth today? Why did you take your phone with you and what did you do with it on the way to work/university? Did you read something to grow and improve yourself or just surf thorough Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter?
 
Every day I work with clients on their lives and I see the same pattern: bad habits = bad results, poor habits = poor results, negative habits = negative results...And people are still wondering why nothing has changed in their lives for ages!!!
 
If you truly and honestly are fed up with the way things are in your life, here is a step by step guide on how to change everything:
 
1. Start with writing what your life looks like right now. Don't exaggerate, just write pure facts. Be honest and open. Keep this list. Many years later you will be thankful to this date. In fact, put a date on it!
 
2. Next, make a list of habits you are aware of and which you know are NOT helping you or are damaging to you. Ask your friends and family, don't be shy or embarrassed, people who love you will be very happy to see you working on yourself! If you are constantly late for work and you know it is a result of waking up late, you should write "I am going to bed too late."
 
3. Make a new, empowering list of habits by replacing all negatives. "Go to sleep by 10 pm" is a new, positive habit!
 
4. Prioritize by most important habits and make a plan: hourly, daily, weekly or monthly, depending on the type of habit. It could even be yearly: do my tax assessment by the New Year, not January.
 
5. Action plan: start working on your new habits. Choose no more than three new habits in a day, but work on it on a regular basis.
 
6. Create a "punishment" and a "reward". You don't get a chocolate until you do your new action. And if you don't do it - think what would push you? Not watching you favourite TV program? Anything else? That way you will feel rewarded for doing and following your action plan and you will be conscious of consequences for not doing it!
 
My favourite example is brushing your teeth: parents were teaching us, doing that for us, asking and reminding us and now, being adults, we JUST do it. No-one pays attention to that anymore, it became natural. Make your new, empowering and positive habits as natural as brushing your teeth!
 
I am sure you are ready to be the owner of your life, to make it the most amazing and fulfilling! Start now, start with a small step and trust me, you will get far!

愛情的意義
What It Means to Love: 9 Steps to a Strong Relationship - Tiny Buddha
Laura Tong  tinybuddha
 
 
 
1. Be there.
 
Love doesn’t grow and flourish because you dress up or make yourself up. All it needs is for you to show up, to be fully present.
 
I used to believe soul mates were mythical creatures, as rare as unicorns, and that finding your soul mate was an honest to goodness miracle—one that happened to other people.
 
Not true.
 
Someone is ready to love you. They’re out there. And they’re looking for you right now. But you have to show up fully to connect with them.
 
In the past, I spent a lot of time caught up in my head, paralyzed by my fears and insecurities. When I was focusing all my energy on protecting myself, I wasn’t available to the people around me. You can’t love or be loved when you’re physically there but mentally somewhere else.
 
I now know that I need to focus more on the person in front of me than my worries, insecurities, and judgments. Love can only unfold when you get out of your head and get into your heart.
 
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
2. Be open.
 
Love is a powerful force, but you can’t share it if your heart is closed.
 
I used to fear the slightest puncture in my protective force field. I worried that if I opened up even a little, it would be the end of me. Somehow staying closed felt like protection. If I let someone in, I couldn’t control what would happen. If I kept everyone out, nothing could go wrong.
 
But I learned that you don’t need to expose the deepest parts of yourself all at once to be open to love. You just need to let your defenses down long enough to let someone else in.
 
I started by sharing a little about myself—my opinions, my feelings, and my worries. A little at first, I tested others’ reactions to what I shared. But my confidence grew much more quickly than I expected. And you know, not holding back so hard or pretending turned out to be the biggest relief ever.
 
“The greatest asset you could own, is an open heart.” ~Nikki Rowe
3. Be honest.
 
Being truthful in love goes further than just not telling lies. It takes being the real you, the wonderfully imperfect you.
 
Pretending to be someone you’re not or disguising how you feel sends a worrying message to the person who loves you. Human beings have an inbuilt alarm when they sense someone isn’t telling them the whole truth.
 
I had an image of the ‘perfect me,’ and it didn’t include being vulnerable. So I lied about the true me in everything I said and did. I pretended that I didn’t worry, didn’t need help, and that I knew exactly where I was heading in life. Those lies alone alienated some amazingly wonderful and loving people who would have been life-long friends… if I’d let them.
 
“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” ~James E. Faust
4. Be kind.
 
I wasn’t kind in the beginning. I was too insecure to let the little things go. A forgotten request felt like rejection. A different opinion felt like an argument. I was also too insecure to accept that it didn’t mean I was loved less.
 
For example, one night I’d plucked up the courage to sing in front of a crowd, a small one, but to me it felt like standing on the stage of Carnegie Hall. My significant other muddled the dates and double-booked himself.
 
I sang that night without his support from the crowd because he felt he couldn’t let down his double booking. At the time that felt like rejection, and I reacted harshly. In truth, the situation simply said “I know you’ll understand that I need to stand by my promise elsewhere; they need me more right now. I’ll be right next to you next time.” (And they were.)
 
Being kind in love means accepting that people can’t always meet your expectations and giving the other person leeway in how they act and respond. It means looking after the other person’s heart even when you’re disappointed.
 
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~Dalai Lama
5. Be willing to listen.
 
Love needs to be heard to flourish, that’s pretty obvious. But it took me years to figure out that it was as much my responsibility to listen as to talk.
 
Because love is a conversation, not a monologue.
 
In the beginning my head was too full of all the things I wanted to explain, my heart too full of all the emotions I wanted to express. And my mouth was too full of all the words I needed heard.
 
But I found that when I listened, I learned valuable insights into the other person each and every time. I heard their concerns, self-doubts, and their words of love. I was able to help, support, and feel the growing connection we had. They drew huge comfort from having been heard. Listening fully said “I love you” as clearly as the words themselves.
 
Like the night we left the movies, having watched School of Rock with Jack Black. It was supposed to be a comedy, a fun date. I laughed lots, but the other person had to sit through 106 minutes of their painful personal disappointment over not pursuing their dream career in music. I listened hard. I heard all their regret, their self-reproach.
 
And I learned a whole relationship’s worth of areas where I could be super-sensitive and supportive in the future.
 
Because you can’t speak the language of love until you learn to listen first.
 
“The first duty of love is to listen. ” ~Paul Tillich
6. Be willing to understand.
 
Being willing to listen is only half of learning the language of love. The other half is understanding what you hear.
 
And that means being open to a different perspective, even an opposite view.
 
At first that sounded like I needed to give up what I believed, to forever bow down on the way I saw things.
 
Not the case. It meant I needed to learn to see that there could also be an alternative, equally valid viewpoint.
 
Understanding in love goes beyond being aware and appreciative of the other person’s stance and beliefs. It takes consciously embracing that you’re one of two, and both your perspectives have a place. Love is big enough to handle different opinions and philosophies.
 
So the other person grew up in a different culture, for example. That works for them and the millions of people brought up the same. There must be something in it. Love means appreciating that.
 
 

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周五 (4/9) 1.台灣火車安全嗎?2.塑膠製品 危害身體?

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台灣火車安全嗎?
Taiwan's worst rail disaster in decades shows infrastructure flaws
asia.nikkei.com
 
TOKYO -- A fatal train derailment near the eastern Taiwan city of Hualien has exposed flaws in the island's infrastructure.
 
More than 50 people were killed and nearly 200 injured in Friday's crash -- Taiwan's worst rail disaster in seven decades. Authorities said the derailment was caused by a construction truck sliding down a trackside cliff and colliding with the Taroko express train.
 
The truck was part of project to build a wall to prevent rocks falling onto the track. The work had been commissioned by the Taiwan Railways Administration, or TRA, which operates almost all of the island's rail lines. Although the truck is suspected to have slid down the cliff because its emergency brake had not been properly engaged, local prosecutors and others are investigating the cause of the accident, including whether TRA bears management responsibility.
 
Transport Minister Lin Chia-lung, in a statement on his Facebook page on Sunday, said he would step down to take responsibility for the disaster.
 
Wang Kwo-tsai, deputy minister of transportation and communications, told reporters in Taipei on Saturday that although the probe was in its initial stages, a "mistake" had been made in preventing an accident. Wang's ministry oversees the TRA.
 
"I had thought that a serious accident would inevitably happen on the TRA's railway system again," Tung Hsiao-ling, who lost five relatives in a separate derailment in Yilan two and half years ago, told Nikkei Asia.
 
The TRA has continued to lose money for several decades. Experts say the authority has safety issues stemming from aging facilities and trains, as well as a labor shortage.
 
As many as 19 derailments occurred on TRA-operated lines between 2016 and 2019. While speculation has grown on whether the TRA should go private, necessary reforms have not been carried out due to objections from vested interests.
 
Yung-Cheng Lai, a professor at Taiwan University's Railway Technology Research Center, was involved in an inquiry into the cause of the Puyuma express train derailment in Yilan in October 2018, which killed 18 people.
 
"Improvement is not easy because of major problems, not only with facilities but also with software, and a low level of safety awareness," the professor told Nikkei about a year ago.
 
The crash comes despite Taiwan being praised by the international community for progressive policy moves in recent years, including its response to the coronavirus pandemic.
 
President Tsai Ing-wen has stressed her administration's track record of containing the virus through democratic means and argues against mainland China, which advocates the superiority of its authoritarian system.
 
In her 2021 New Year's Day address, Tsai said, "As a force for good in the world, we will continue to be an indispensable member of the international community, both now and into the future."
 
In 2019, Taiwan became the first place in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage. On the economic front, Taiwan has also strengthened its presence as a global high-tech industry hub, notably its chip industry led by Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co.
 
A damaged building is seen after an earthquake in Hualien, Taiwan on Feb. 7, 2018. (Photo by Kensaku Ihara)
 
But its poor infrastructure safety record is out of character for the progressive, democratic society.
 
Taiwan is earthquake-prone as it is situated near the boundary between the Philippine Sea Plate and the Eurasian Plate.
 
When a powerful quake hit the southern city of Tainan in 2016 an apartment building collapsed, raising concerns about the earthquake resistance of many buildings on the island. When a magnitude 6.4 quake hit Hualien in 2018, some 17 people died after apartments and hotel buildings collapsed.
 
There are lingering fears about whether problematic buildings have been identified.
 
In 2019, an approximately 140-meter-long arch bridge collapsed in Yilan, killing six people. An investigation by the Taiwan Transportation Safety Board found aging or corroded materials.
 
These disasters hit global headlines, along with the shocking images of them.
 
Prompt actions have led to the development of Taiwan's society and economy, but efforts to ensure infrastructure safety are costly and have yet to be properly implemented.

塑膠製品 危害身體?
Is plastic a threat to your health? - Harvard Health
Harvard Health Publishing
 
Heating plastics in the microwave may cause chemicals to leach into your foods.
 
Plastic is everywhere. It's in bowls, wraps, and a host of bottles and bags used to store foods and beverages. But in recent years more people have been asking whether exposing our food (and ourselves) to all of this plastic is safe.
 
Studies have found that certain chemicals in plastic can leach out of the plastic and into the food and beverages we eat. Some of these chemicals have been linked to health problems such as metabolic disorders (including obesity) and reduced fertility. This leaching can occur even faster and to a greater degree when plastic is exposed to heat. This means you might be getting an even higher dose of potentially harmful chemicals simply by microwaving your leftovers in a plastic container.
 
The question is, should you be concerned? And if so, can you do anything to reduce your exposure?
 
We asked Dr. Russ Hauser, chair of the Department of Environmental Health and the Frederick Lee Hisaw Professor of Reproductive Physiology at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health to help us sort through this issue and give us some advice on how to reduce any potential risks.
Understanding plastics
 
The first thing to know, says Dr. Hauser, is that plastic is not one thing. "There are many different types of plastics," he says. Different types of plastic have different names based on their composition — such as polypropylene, polyethylene, polyethylene terephthalate, and polycarbonate — and contain a variety of chemicals with different properties, such as plasticizers, antioxidants, and colorants.
 
Generally, there are several chemicals in plastics that are considered worrisome because they have been shown to be harmful to people who are exposed over the long term. "We're talking about very low-dose chemical exposures," says Dr. Hauser. "But even though single exposures to a specific chemical are small, if they occur repeatedly over long periods of time, their effects may add up, leading to a variety of adverse health outcomes down the road. Furthermore, and most importantly, we are exposed to many chemicals simultaneously (i.e., chemical mixtures) that may have additive adverse effects." At particular risk are pregnant women and their fetuses. Many of these chemicals cross the placenta, so the fetus is exposed. Experts say childhood exposure is also of high concern.
 
Among the more troubling chemicals are phthalates and bisphenol A (BPA). Both are endocrine disrupters, which are substances that interfere with the actions of human hormones, says Dr. Hauser.
Phthalates
 
Phthalates are known to toxicologists as male reproductive toxicants (harmful substances). But this group of chemicals is also known to have ill effects in females. Phthalates, sometimes referred to as plasticizers, are often used to make vinyl plastics soft and flexible. They are widely used in baby toys, food processing equipment and materials, medical devices, and vinyl building products, in addition to other items. A 2003-04 analysis by the CDC and the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) found that exposure to phthalates was widespread in the U.S. population. Adult women had higher exposure than men, likely because some phthalates are also found in many cosmetics as well as personal care products such as soaps, shampoo, and body washes.
Bisphenol A
 
BPA has gotten a lot of attention in recent years because studies have shown it has reproductive and other health effects in both humans and rodents. It's most often used to make a hard type of plastic called polycarbonate, which is found in products like DVDs. It's also a component of epoxy resins, which are used for numerous purposes, such as lining the inside of food storage cans. While there has been some controversy about how harmful BPA may be, says Dr. Hauser, there's little question that there is widespread general exposure to the chemical. That same 2003-04 CDC/NHANES report estimated that 93% of people in the United States ages 6 and older had the chemical in their urine.
 
While these two chemicals get the most attention, there are many other chemicals in plastics that may be related to health problems, including processing aids, antioxidants, and colorants, says Dr. Hauser.
Is it safe to microwave plastic?
 
Depending on the type of plastics you are using, heating them in the microwave can release various chemicals into the foods or liquids that you are cooking, says Dr. Hauser. Fatty foods, particularly meats and cheeses, seem more prone to absorbing high amounts of these chemicals.
 
Some plastics are deemed by the FDA to be microwave-safe. To get the FDA's designation, manufacturers must test the containers, estimating how long the container will be in the microwave, how much a person is likely to eat from the container, and the anticipated temperature of the food inside. Provided the amount of chemicals leaching from the container into the food is estimated to be lower than the maximum allowable amount, the container is considered microwave-safe. But that doesn't necessarily guarantee safety.
 
"It's hard to say without knowing the exact structure of the plastics and any additives in the plastic," says Dr. Hauser. So, sometimes it's better to err on the side of caution. "I think a good recommendation is to try to avoid heating foods in plastic," says Dr. Hauser.
More questions remain
 
While microwaves accelerate chemical leaching from plastic, this isn't the only way that chemicals from plastic can wind up in your food or drinks. "Even if it's not microwaved, chemicals can still enter food stored in plastic containers or bags," says Dr. Hauser. "There were studies done a few years ago in Japan that show that plastics used to store foods and liquids allowed chemicals to leach into the foods and liquids."
 
Dr. Hauser was involved in another study that found liquids stored in plastic bottles that are subject to heat and sunlight passed chemicals into the liquids. And acidic foods, like tomatoes, can also absorb chemicals from the linings of food cans. Even vinyls or plastics used in homes or offices can release gases, putting measurable amounts of chemicals, such as phthalates, into the air over time. In the same way, plastic vapors can introduce chemicals to food, even if the plastic isn't touching the food, albeit in smaller amounts than would occur with direct contact. This might happen if you use a plastic splatter lid over a bowl in the microwave.
 
 

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