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理解他人觀點 助你成功
Understanding the Other Person's Perspective Will Radically Increase Your Success
Sherrie Campbell entrepreneur
To be a true success we must possess masterful people skills. The key to successful relationships lies solely in our ability to take the perspective of another. Perspective taking is that all important skill of being able to look at things from a point of view other than our own. Perspective taking brings in the mindfulness of compassion and empathy to our relationships. When these two qualities are present in our interactions mutual respect, success and movement forward is guaranteed.
1. Think of others.
Whenever we are in the presence of another it is natural to think about what they may be thinking (if we are not self-centered). We observe them instinctively and notice subtleties such as what they are doing, where they are looking, and what their body language is indicating. This helps us determine if we feel comfortable around them which helps us decide if we want to interact with them and how.
If we feel comfortable around another person we begin to think more logistically, like if now is a good time to talk with them, or if they seem unavailable or busy so we can decide the most effective way to proceed. All of this subtle information acts to prompt us to speak up in the conversation or to decide to hold back for a more convenient time.
Related: Developing People Skills Is a Brilliant Career Move
2. Emotional regulation and empathy.
Perspective taking relies not only upon our ability to share emotions with others, but also upon our capacity to regulate our own emotions. To be effective with others we must be aware of what might trigger us so we can quickly refocus ourselves on what is happening with the other. When it comes to empathy, the point is not to ask ourselves what we would do in any given situation; it’s to try and understand what another would do.
If our empathic accuracy and emotional regulation skills are strong we are more successful in our interactions. We possess the depth and awareness to predict the attitudes, expectations, and intentions of others that may be very different from our own. This creates an interpersonal connectedness which is built to thrive and succeed because people feel heard, validated and understood on the other side of us.
3. Correctly reading other people.
The emotions are our perspective taking guides. They help us to read people. We naturally track the behaviors of others to try and determine what they are thinking, feeling doing or planning. Our brains assist us by providing us a social radar system which helps us determine people’s motives and intentions, even when our attention is not specifically on them.
In this way our sensitivities are our strengths. These sensitivities to other people alert our gut instincts to the intentions of others and to sense any possible emotional changes in them or the peripheral work environment. It is important to trust what we intuit about the intentions others because it helps us to gauge how we can most successfully show up in the interaction.
Related: The Importance of Emotional Intelligence at Work
4. Respecting differences.
Perspective taking requires the maturity to gain the knowledge and be respectful of another person’s personal beliefs. When we are disrespectful to another person and their belief system it is the quickest path to creating separation and division between people. It is the surest way to upset a coworker, vendor or boss.
Related: Are You Tired of Hiring People Who Lack Baseline Communications Skills?
It is important to remain highly attuned to the fact that not all people share our personal views and beliefs of the world. We must remain open-minded and respectful to what others believe when relating to them. This means knowing what not to say as much as means knowing what to say. This makes communication complicated, but it keeps you open and growing in the process of being able to put yourself aside and be respectful of the other.
正向言論
Positive Self-Talk: Benefits and Techniques healthline.com
Self-talk is your internal dialogue. It’s influenced by your subconscious mind, and it reveals your thoughts, beliefs, questions, and ideas.
Self-talk can be both negative and positive. It can be encouraging, and it can be distressing. Much of your self-talk depends on your personality. If you’re an optimist, your self-talk may be more hopeful and positive. The opposite is generally true if you tend to be a pessimist.
Positive thinking and optimism can be effective stress management tools. Indeed, having a more positive outlook on life can provide you with some health benefits. For example, one 2010 study shows optimists have a better quality of life.
If you believe your self-talk is too negative, or if you want to emphasize positive self-talk, you can learn to shift that inner dialogue. It can help you be a more positive person, and it may improve your health.
Self-talk can enhance your performance and general well-being. For example, research shows self-talk can help athletes with performance. It may help them with endurance or to power through a set of heavy weights.
Furthermore, positive self-talk and a more optimistic outlook can have other health benefits, including:
increased vitality
greater life satisfaction
improved immune function
reduced pain
better cardiovascular health
better physical well-being
reduced risk for death
less stress and distress
It’s not clear why optimists and individuals with more positive self-talk experience these benefits. However, research suggests people with positive self-talk may have mental skills that allow them to solve problems, think differently, and be more efficient at coping with hardships or challenges. This can reduce the harmful effects of stress and anxiety.
Before you can learn to practice more self-talk, you must first identify negative thinking. This type of thinking and self-talk generally falls into four categories:
Personalizing. You blame yourself for everything.
Magnifying. You focus on the negative aspects of a situation, ignoring any and all of the positive.
Catastrophizing. You expect the worst, and you rarely let logic or reason persuade you otherwise.
Polarizing. You see the world in black and white, or good and bad. There’s nothing in between and no middle ground for processing and categorizing life events.
When you begin to recognize your types of negative thinking, you can work to turn them into positive thinking. This task requires practice and time and doesn’t develop overnight. The good news is that is can be done. A 2012 study shows even small children can learn to correct negative self-talk.
These scenarios are examples of when and how you can turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Again, it takes practice. Recognizing some of your own negative self-talk in these scenarios may help you develop skills to flip the thought when it occurs.
Negative: I’ll disappoint everyone if I change my mind.
Positive: I have the power to change my mind. Others will understand.
Negative: I failed and embarrassed myself.
Positive: I’m proud of myself for even trying. That took courage.
Negative: I’m overweight and out of shape. I might as well not bother.
Positive: I am capable and strong, and I want to get healthier for me.
Negative: I let everyone on my team down when I didn’t score.
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