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情感的 ”最後一根稻草”
People Reveal What The Final Straw Before Breaking Up Was For Them, & OMG, Yikes
By Christy Piña
Breakups happen. Whether we want them to or not, sometimes it's just time to move on. Maybe your breakup was a long time coming, or maybe your partner does one awful thing, and that makes you realize, in that moment, it's over. The final straw before breaking up can come out of nowhere, or it could be something that seems small that's been bugging you, and only once it happens enough times do you realize that it's actually a deal-breaker.
The final straw can happen at any point in a relationship, whether you've been together for a couple of months, or a couple of years. I know this sounds cynical, but I don't think there's ever a time in a relationship where a breakup isn't possible — yes, even after decades of marriage. The final straw that leads to breaking up can vary per person and per couple. It could be that you finally realize your partner doesn't make you a priority. Or maybe they try to control every aspect of your life, and that's definitely not OK. It's your life.
To see what other people felt were the final straws before breaking up with their partners, I turned to Reddit. This is what I found.
It's all about the money, money, money.
Our biggest fights were always about money, she came from a VERY well off family (multi-millionaires) and both of my parents are high school teachers.... So we had differing opinions on how to live.... When I landed my first job out of college it paid 40k and she asked me how I was planning on providing for a family on that kind of salary? I said with a wife who works as well haha thinking it was a dumb question since we had only dated a year and had no plans to get married anytime soon, she then said "I should of stayed with my ex he makes 80k now" and I said.... Okay we're done haha never looked back
Their needs always come before yours.
When my ex dropped me off at urgent care when i asked him to take me, then straight up left to hang out with his friend somewhere else.
I had a roller derby bout the night before, and woke up with my shoulder having sharp pains. I asked him to take me because i didn't know who else to call, then he dropped me off at urgent care to wait by myself for 3 hours while him and his friend went somewhere else. We were already not talking because of a previous fight the other day, but I at least expected him to wait with me. I realized then that he would always put his needs before mine and that would never change. Also he had no aspirations or life goals, so it was bound to happen eventually.
During my tour in Afghanistan, he called my mother to tell her that when I got back, I would have to leave the army and have his children... I was 19, he was 27... sh*t just got creepy too fast, and I was too busy dodging rockets to notice.
She wouldn't stand up for me. Gender stereotypes aside, if anyone hurt her or she needed help. I'd go way the f*ck out of my way to help her. But her friends woulvfddd openly insult me in front of her and she would just stand there. I tried to talk to her about it and she said she would handle it but never actually did, as the insults or backhanded comments kept coming.
After one month of dating and getting drunken texts every Friday demanding why I wouldn't do hardcore BDSM with him, just noped out and told him to f*ck off.
The final straw could be super obvious and in your face, or more discreet and develop over time. The sad truth is, some relationships have expiration dates. It's normal for them to come to an end, but honestly, it might be for the better. There could be something even more amazing waiting for you out there.
為了健康請好好地哭!
Go Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons Why It's Good for You
Marlo Sollitto agingcare
Researchers have proven what many caregivers have already figured out on their own: Sometimes there’s nothing like a good cry to make you feel better. While society often callously considers shedding tears to be a sign of weakness, it is a cathartic experience and highly evolved behavior.
Neuroscientist Dr. William H. Frey II, author of Crying: The Mystery of Tears and founder and co-director of the Alzheimer’s Research Center at Regions Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota, has spent over 20 years studying crying and tears.
According to Frey, “Crying is not only a human response to sorrow and frustration, it’s also a healthy one.” It is a natural way to reduce stress that, if left unchecked, can have negative physical effects on the body, including increased risk of cardiovascular disease and other stress-related disorders. In addition to the physical benefits, research shows that 85 percent of women and 73 percent of men feel less sad and angry after shedding some tears.
How Is Crying Good for You?
It Relieves Stress
Chronic stress can increase the risk of heart attack, damage certain areas of the brain, contribute to digestive issues like ulcers, and cause tension headaches and migraines, among other health issues. “Humans’ ability to cry has survival value,” Frey emphasizes. When it comes to stress reduction techniques for family caregivers, crying may not be as effective as something like respite care, but in dire circumstances a good cry can provide a temporary release.
Crying Lowers Blood Pressure
Crying has been found to lower blood pressure and pulse rate immediately following therapy sessions during which patients cried and vented. High blood pressure can damage the heart and blood vessels and contribute to stroke, heart failure and even dementia.
Tears Remove Toxins
In addition, Frey says crying actually removes toxins from the body. Tears help humans eliminate stress hormones like cortisol that build up during times of emotional turmoil and can wreak havoc on the body. Crying is both a physical and emotional release that helps humans start over with a blank slate.
It Reduces Manganese
The simple act of crying also reduces the body’s manganese level, a mineral which affects mood and is found in significantly greater concentrations in tears than in blood serum. Elevated manganese levels can be associated with anxiety, irritability and aggression.
Embrace Your Emotions and Humanity
While the eyes of all mammals are moistened and soothed by tears, only human beings shed tears in response to emotional stress. Crying helps us acknowledge the feelings we’re experiencing, and emotions motivate us to empathize, coordinate and work together to survive. In fact, crying serves an important social function. It communicates the strength and nature of relationships, elicits sympathy and even assistance, and draws individuals closer to one another.
The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and fighting back tears, do yourself a favor and keep these points in mind. Finding a quiet place to decompress or a supportive shoulder to cry on might be exactly what you need.
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