星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:30-9:30

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

人際社交所需要的

How Not To Suck At Socializing - Do's & Don'ts

Craig Childs lifehack

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Take Lifehack's full life assessment and get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start living the life you want and reach your full potential. It's a FREE assessment!

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Grab a FREE Lifehack Guide to train yourself to be mentally strong and take charge of life!

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Your Mentally Stronger Guide Is Here!!

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

Read More 看完整內容

周五(3/27)1.放空 的理由 2.成為專家的方法

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

放空 的理由

5 Great Reasons To Zone Out

By Tori Rodriguez for YouBeauty

On any given day, studies show, you're likely to spend as much as half your waking hours lost in la-la land. Not exactly a stat you'd put on your resume. Sitting and staring out the window might be a great way to relax, but it certainly doesn't seem like a productive use of your time. Indeed, researchers have linked mind wandering with negative outcomes like unhappiness and poor cognitive performance. But maybe we're failing to give spacing out its due. Recent studies have taken a closer look and found that an unfocused mind may not be so bad after all -- and could actually offer benefits when done at the right time.

"Being present in the here and now is very useful when you're driving, taking a test, or doing any kind of demanding cognitive activity, and the capacity to observe one's own reactions is helpful, but there are also times when it's useful to get lost in one's thoughts, to let our thoughts take us where they will go," says Dan Hurley, author of Smarter: The New Science of Building Brain Power. "That kind of creative mind-wandering can be powerful for deep problem solving or creative thinking."

Mindfulness -- the apparent antithesis to mind-wandering -- has gone mainstream of late, with more people tuned in to themselves and each other in the interest of lowering anxiety, eating healthier, sleeping better and enjoying life (and sex!) more. So with all this focus on, well, focusing, where does zoning out fit in?

They key, experts say, is to stay focused when you need to, but to let yourself mentally unplug when you can: a healthy mix of both mindfulness and mind wandering. You can even use mindfulness to make your mind wandering more effective.

Boost your mood.

happy mood

About those studies linking wandering minds with negative moods: It turns out content matters, several studies over the past few years have found. Wandering thoughts become a problem when they get funneled into worrying or dwelling on problems. Mentally drifting to interesting thoughts, however, is linked with a rise in positive mood, according to an August 2013 study. What to do if your mind tends to settle on those bleak thoughts more often than not? This is exactly where you can use mindfulness. Simply noticing your negative thoughts can help you quell them and shift your attention to a more pleasant stream of consciousness.

Reboot your brain.

Tuning out at times can help you do your job better, says Benjamin Mooneyham, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of California, Santa Barbara, whose research group has studied the pros and cons of mind wandering. “Mind-wandering allows for the mind to leave whatever task it's occupied with. Even if this break is brief, it may still allow for the mind to come back to the task at hand with a refreshed perspective.” Consider preparing for finals in school. We were always told that a marathon night of cramming is far less effective than spaced out study sessions the week before an exam. Mind wandering, Mooneyham and colleagues believe, may work to naturally divide a lengthy task into smaller, more mentally digestible segments.

Enhance creativity.

creativity

When we purposefully focus on possible solutions to problems, we typically go to the obvious answers; it's a well worn track, so to speak, with all of our most familiar bits of knowledge always at the ready. When the stream of thought strays off the beaten path, on the other hand, it often stumbles upon less apparent solutions. "Putting people in situations in which they can mind-wander may help them think more creatively afterwards," says Mooneyham. In one 2012 study, participants were faced with two bouts of problem solving, with a break in between. Those who were given an undemanding task that allowed their minds to meander in the meantime came up with more creative answers to the second set of problems than those who rested quietly or labored on a tougher task. Having a tipple before you tackle a creative problem can also help free your mind and reveal surprising solutions.

  

成為專家的方法

3 Simple Steps to Becoming an Expert in Anything

By Peter EconomyThe Leadership Guy@bizzwriter inc.com

A great way to become more valuable in your current job--or to make a major career change--is to become an expert. The good news is that it is never too late to become an expert by either developing a base of knowledge within your current field of work, or in an entirely new one.

How does becoming an expert at something you love--and earning more money as a result--sound?

Try these three steps to becoming an expert and you, too, can revitalize your current position, or begin an exciting journey toward a new you.

1. Figure out what you're interested in

First you need to evaluate your current position. What do you know right now that you are close to being an expert in? You are probably already an expert, or close to one, at what you are currently doing, so you can easily build upon that expertise and take it to the next level. This is a much easier, less time-intensive route to take than learning something entirely new.

However, if what you are currently doing no longer interests you, you'll need to figure out what does. Make this your first priority. Whatever route you take, what you choose to be an expert in has to be inspiring so that the necessary reading and learning seem effortless to you because it resonates with every fiber of your being. Everyone has one--some have more than one--you just need to find it.

2. Focus on one subject at a time

Get rid of your cluttered mind and focus on one subject at a time. Overwhelming yourself by trying to learn too many things at one time will only set you up for failure. Focus. If you want to become a website designer, begin learning how to build one form of website--say, WordPress--before you take on all the others. Once you feel comfortable with one, move to another. Before you know it, you will begin to feel like and be an expert website designer.

3. Remember that practice makes perfect

Becoming an expert overnight just isn't going to happen. You are going to have to put a lot of work and dedication into becoming an expert at anything. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in a particular field. While you may not have to devote that much time to become an expert, depending on the subject you select, you are looking at hundreds to thousands of hours of some or all of the following:

    Studying--reading books, online courses, attending college, watching videos, attending seminars and training programs, learning from other experts within the field.

    Practicing--actually doing what you are learning. As in the above example of a website designer, you can apply what you have learned by creating websites on your own. By practicing what you learn, you are going much deeper into what it takes to be an expert in that field--working out the kinks, investigating and solving problems not covered through studying and instruction alone.

    Presenting--finding ways to document your findings. Create a blog or journal of the steps you are taking to understand the many facets of your newfound expertise. Write or speak at a conference about the trials and the resolutions so that others can learn from you. Teaching what you have learned to others will push you even further toward your goal of mastering your new field.

Read More 看完整內容

周六(3/21) 神奇自癒力! / 星期六聚會時間 晚上7:30-9:30

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:30-9:30

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

神奇自癒力!

A 6-Step Guide To Radical Self-Healing     mindbodygreen

They never taught me this in medical school, but it’s now a relatively well-known fact that, as long as the nervous system is relaxed, the body can be a self-healing organism.

To say that you can heal yourself is a bit of a paradox. Though the body is equipped to heal itself, research suggests that you can’t navigate the self-healing process alone. You need the love and support of the right kind of healer. Unfortunately, most health care providers have no idea how to help patients facilitate self-healing.

This lack of understanding in the medical community inspired me to found the Whole Health Medicine Institute — a training program for doctors, nurses, alternative health care providers, therapists, and coaches. Alongside other mind-body medicine pioneers, I teach health care providers how to help patients implement what I call the “6 Steps To Healing Yourself.” Attention healers! We’re now accepting enrollments for the Whole Health Medicine Institute Class of 2016, if this sounds right up your alley. Learn more here.

Whether you’re a health care provider, a patient, or someone who just isn’t feeling 100%, you can make your body ripe for miracles and increase your likelihood of “spontaneous” remission by following these six steps.

    The body can be a self-healing organism

Step One: Believe You Can Heal Yourself.

Your body is beautifully equipped with natural self-repair mechanisms that are under the influence of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that originate in your mind. We can influence whether disease manifests prematurely by ensuring that these self-repair mechanisms are functioning optimally. The medical community has been proving that the mind can cure the body for over 50 years. In certain studies, up to 80% of patients treated with nothing more than sugar pills or saline injections reported a resolution of symptoms in a phenomenon referred to as the "placebo effect."

As long as you believe your condition is “incurable” or “chronic,” it will be. Once you believe healing is possible, it can be.

For some mind-blowing stories about how positive belief can radically affect your health, watch my TEDx talk Is There Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself?

Step Two: Find The Right Support

To say that you can heal yourself is sort of a misnomer because scientific data proves that you also need the nurturing care of a true healer — someone optimistic who shares your positive belief, respects your intuition and cares for your wellbeing — in order to truly revive.

Step Three: Listen To Your Body & Your Intuition

While doctors may know the arteries of the leg or the anatomy of your organs better than you do, only you know what’s best for your own body. Your body is indeed your business. So listen to your intuition and trust what it tells you.

Not in touch with your intuition? Then listen to your body — one vehicle your intuition uses to speak to you. If you have a physical sensation in your body — pain, tightness, nausea, clenching, dizziness — ask your body what it is trying to communicate to you. Then listen up! This is the voice of your inner wisdom and it will always lead you where you need to go.

    Let any health condition you face be an opportunity for spiritual awakening.

Step Four: Diagnose The Root Causes Of Your Illness

Your doctor may give you one kind of diagnosis — migraines or irritable bowel syndrome or breast cancer, for example. But the kind of diagnosis I’m talking about gets at the root of what might have triggered stress responses in your body and deactivated your body’s self-healing mechanisms.

Illness is often a wake-up call that forces us to get down and dirty with what’s really true in our lives. We can either play the victim or we can use illness as an opportunity to awaken. What aspects of your life are activating your stress responses? What relaxation response-inducing activities — like meditation, creative expression, laughter, engaging in work you love, massage, yoga, or playing with animals — have you been neglecting?

Step Five: Write The Prescription For Yourself

This won’t be the kind of prescription you fill at a pharmacy, though it certainly may include elements of Western medicine. It’s more of a self-guided action plan intended to make your body ripe for optimal health and full recovery.

Start by asking yourself, “What does my body need in order to heal?” Be as specific as you can. Then muster up the courage to put a prescriptive plan into action. Your prescription may include diet changes, an exercise regimen, and a conventional medical treatment plan. But it may also include getting out of a toxic relationship, quitting a soul-sucking job, adding a meditation practice, taking steps to get out of debt, or following a passion.

Read More 看完整內容

周五(3/20)1.不批評 不責怪 不埋怨 2.避免頸痠痛

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

不批評 不責怪 不埋怨

Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain

(This article was created by guest-writer Tyler Manoukian)

When Dale Carnegie began teaching 100 years ago, nobody, not even he could imagine what has become of his legacy. Carnegie taught hundreds of lectures to thousands of students who sought the wisdom he had learned to harness.

He developed a set of thirty principles in a codex called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” 75 years ago that iterated his philosophy on how to win friends and influence people. Ask anyone, even current CEO of the Carnegie Empire, Peter Handal and he’ll tell you that the elder Carnegie’s secret to success was influencing people. “You can change people’s behavior by changing your attitude towards them,” said Handal of Carnegie’s philosophy.

100 years later, Dale Carnegie Training works to provide leaders and employees in corporations and government agencies with the skills necessary to influence people the exact same way Dale Carnegie himself prescribed those skills. Dale Carnegie Training allows teams and individuals the opportunity to attend leadership training seminars as well.

The first principle that Dale Carnegie offered to his audience was “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” This ideal teaches us to be kind and thoughtful when considering other peoples’ feelings. Its about showing respect to get respect – treating others the way you want to be treated. This principle encourages an open mind when talking other people.

Don’t criticize a person for having a different opinion than you because everyone’s opinion matters regardless of whether there is 100 percent agreement. If you skip right to criticizing, you will never get anything accomplished. The most common natural reaction for someone is to clam up and shy away from a conversation with you. This is especially important in the workplace when trying to settle a conflict. Conflict resolution does not happen by criticizing your fellow team members.

Don’t condemn your coworker or friend for doing something you don’t believe was right. There may be a reason why he or she decided to do things that way. And you won’t know that unless you approach your friend with an open mind and a cool head. Condemning another person’s actions without knowing the full circumstance of that action is immature and short-sighted.

Don’t complain about a decision that was made or about a problem you are having. Instead work actively to solve it. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could possibly happen, and then look for a solution. Someone once told me that ‘complacency is the enemy of progress.’ Complaining about your job or something that happened is going to prevent you from solving the problem and its going to get you a lot of annoyed looks from your cohorts. People don’t want to hear you complain about something that happened in the past, they want to hear how or what you did to solve it.

Without jumping to conclusions, I task you to apply this principle to your life. Look closely at the difference between the two options afterwards and post a comment here letting us know how it turned out. If you follow this guideline, you will feel less stressed and more willing to try this again in the future because it worked for you once before. I encourage you to try this because you’ll walk away from the situation with a good feeling, a high level of productivity and a positive working relationship with your coworker.

 

避免頸痠痛

Tips to Prevent Neck Pain

Steven Yeomans, DC, FACO

Muscle strain and resulting muscle spasm is often caused by an underlying neck problem, such as spinal stenosis, arthritis, or disc degeneration and can be triggered from trauma but frequently occurs insidiously, or for no obvious or identifiable reason.

See Neck Strain: Causes and Remedies

Whether your neck pain is from a chronic condition or if you've just woken up with a stiff neck, the following tips should help you experience less pain.

Follow these 10 tips to protect your neck from injury:

Selecting the right pillow height for your sleeping position can help to keep your cervical spine in neutral alignment and prevent pain.

    Try a new pillow.

    In terms of comfort and support for your neck while you sleep, there are many options and you may need some trial and error to find what works best for you. As a general rule, it is best to use a pillow that keeps your cervical spine in neutral alignment—meaning, the natural curve of your neck is supported and maintained.

    See Pillows for Neck Pain

    There are a number of options, and what works best for you will largely be determined on the cause of your neck problem as well as your sleep preferences. Here are a few examples:

        Some people find that their neck pain decreases when they lie down on their back with the head supported by a relatively flat pillow, or with an orthopedic pillow that has a deeper depression where the head lies and extra support under the neck.

        Other people find that support with a pillow when side-lying is more comfortable.

        Some prefer sitting in a recliner, or in an adjustable bed with the upper part of the body at an incline. In this reclining position, they can use a small or relatively flat pillow.

    If you're like most people, you change your sleep position during the night, so be sure to have a pillow—or more than one pillow—that works for each of your sleep positions.

    If you prefer to sleep on your side, make sure your pillow is not too high—usually around 4 to 6 inches thick, depending on the density of the pillow material and the distance between the neck and point of the shoulder. This height should typically prevent your head and neck from turning or bending unnaturally to either side.

    The bottom line is if it’s not comfortable, it’s not a good “fit”!

    Learn more about sleeping positions: Best Pillows for Different Sleeping Positions

    Make sure your computer monitor is at eye level.

    Sit comfortably in front of your computer and close your eyes. When you open them, your gaze should be directly in the top-third of your computer screen. If you find you have to look down, you need to raise your monitor up.

    Laptops most often require you to angle your head downward to see the screen, so connecting your laptop to a separate monitor, or screen, is often very helpful.

    Avoid neck strain from texting.

    Texting or looking down at your cell phone or mobile device for any length of time puts excessive strain on your neck.

    See How Does Text Neck Cause Pain?

    Over time, the added stress on the joints, ligaments, and discs in your neck can lead to premature degenerative changes in your neck. Tips to avoid neck damage from texting include raising the phone or mobile device to eye level, minimizing texting time, resting your hands and device on a pillow, and taking frequent breaks.

   Use a headset.

    If you spend a lot of time on the phone, be sure to avoid tilting your head to the side or cradling your phone in the crook of your neck.

    Any type of hands-free device, such as a headset or ear piece, is a great way to talk on the phone without being tempted to hold your phone incorrectly. There is also a newer device that lays around your neck so you can keep it on all day—

    Exercise and stretch your neck.

    Keep your neck muscles strong by doing short sets of strengthening and stretching exercises throughout the day. One of the simplest exercises to do is the chin tuck exercise

    This exercise helps strengthen the muscles that pull the head into alignment over the shoulders. It also stretches the scalene and suboccipital muscles.

Read More 看完整內容

周六(3/14) 11種時機下 不值得誠實 / 星期六聚會時間 晚上7:30-9:30

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:30-9:30

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

11種時機下 不值得誠實

11 Times When Being Honest Might Not Be Worth It  bustle.com

We all know the old saying, that "honesty is the best policy." But is it really? Is it actually necessary and good to be truthful 100 percent of the time? If you really think about it, there seem to be a few situations in life where being honest simply isn't worth it. You know the times I'm talking about... like when you're faced with a personal question at work, and an honest answer could get you in trouble. Or when someone's asking for your opinion, and you just don't have anything nice to say.

While you should obviously try to be honest whenever possible, it is OK to occasionally tell a little white lie, or withhold the truth, if it means keeping the peace or preserving a relationship.

"If telling the whole truth will make you unsafe, ruin your reputation, or cause general headaches, keeping quiet is always an option," certified counselor Jonathan Bennett tells Bustle. "[Also], while authenticity and honesty are important, not everyone is entitled to know your life story or have access to your authentic self." And if that means telling a little white lie? Then go ahead and do it, without feeling guilty.

Below, a few situations like these where being honest isn't always worth it.

1. When You're Around Toxic People

While I wish it weren't so, almost everyone has a toxic person or two in their life. And, unfortunately, you kinda have to watch what you say around them. "If you make yourself vulnerable to them by sharing your true self, it’s possible they will use it against you in some way," Bennett says. "Being totally honest around them could have negative consequences and it’s best to keep them at arm’s length."

2. When Asked Personal Questions At Work

As long as it doesn't pertain to your job, you have every right to keep certain things private at work. And sometimes that means hiding the truth or telling a little white lie. "In these settings, sharing your true opinions and feelings can cause huge headaches and isn’t always worth it," Bennett says. "For example, if your workplace would be highly judgmental of your lifestyle and you could even be fired for it, it’s best to keep that information under wraps."

3. When Someone You Love Has Failed

Was your SO rejected from grad school? Or did your friend get fired from her beloved job? During times like these, psychoanalyst Dr. Claudia Luiz says, "they're probably beating themselves up and your honesty will just beat them down. At those times ... it's important to preserve a fragile ego. You need to remind the person and reassure them that everything is OK and that these things happen." Save the advice giving and honesty for when they feel better.

4. When Someone's Looking For Your Approval

Another time it's not worth it to be honest? When someone in your life is just looking for a compliment or reassurance, and your true opinion might drag them down. This situation can arise in relationships, like when your SO asks if you had a good time at their [insert thing they invited you to here] and you totally didn't. "You don’t think there are any major problems but its just not your preference," says clinical psychologist Dr. Josh Klapow, host of The Web Radio Show. "Why be honest? What will the honesty do?"

5. When Sharing Embarrassing Stories From Your Past

Let's say your new partner asks a question about your past. Nine times out of ten, you should answer truthfully. But if you have a few embarrassing moments you're worried might change their opinion of you — and they don't affect your relationship — it may be a good idea to keep 'em secret.

As Klapow says, "Maybe you tried drugs and had a bad experience, or maybe you got into an argument with your parents and cursed them out. Do you need to tell your current significant other all of this? Probably not."

6. When You Don't Like Someone's Food

OK, so you shouldn't lie to your partner about food preferences, since doing so can set you up for a lifetime of having to choke down that one dish you secretly despise. But if you've simply been invited to the neighbors' for dinner, politeness should prevail when it comes to what you really think about their food. "White lies — or what we call altruistic lies — are lies that are presented to preserve the relationship and protect the person," Klapow says. "And that's more than OK."

7. When Someone Asks If They Look OK

In the same vein, you might consider telling someone they look fine, even if you're not a huge fan of what they're wearing — but only if they're not a close friend, and only when you're already out and they can't go change.

Same goes for telling a sick friend they seem better. If it'll cheer them up and give them hope that they're horrible cold is, in fact, sounding better, why not say so?

8. When Someone's Sharing An Exciting Idea

Let's say your friend has sat you down for coffee, and is excitedly chatting away about her new business idea. But you hate it. Do you a) say so, and ruin her momentum? Or b) smile and say it sounds like fun? I'd go with b.

"We are too quick to give our opinions rather than waiting to see if our opinion is even requested," says counselor Tiffany Ashenfelter, LPC-S. "If our opinion is sought then we can give honest feedback." But if not, it's better to simply offer your support.

9. When Coming Clean After An Affair

Unless your partner expressly asks for the intimate details, it's almost never a good idea to be brutally honest about your affair. "By doing so it will lead to pain for [your] partner while alleviating [you] of the guilt of the secret," says Ashenfelter. In other words, coming clean is almost always more for you, than it is for them. So it's not worth it to say it.

10. When Breaking Up With Someone

It's up to you to decide what to say when breaking up with someone. But do recognize that the truth is not always what they need to hear. "If you are breaking up with someone because he or she never listens to you, then it might be clarifying and useful to tell the person in those words," says licensed psychotherapist Kenneth Jedding, LCSW. "But if you are breaking up because of, say, something about their physical appearance or some other thing that is beyond their control, then why not find some nice euphemism? Someone invented 'it’s not you, it’s me” for a reason.'"

11. When You Just Don't Want To Share

Again, your personal life is yours. So if someone's hounding you for info, it's OK to lie to get them to go away. "One example of that might be when you are in the middle of an incredibly painful time of life, such as infertility and a distant acquaintance or even a stranger begins questioning you on when you plan to have children," says Ashenfelter. Answering them, or even fielding those Qs, might not be worth it if it's going to make you upset.

All of that said, it's important to remember that honesty is usually the best policy, so don't make a habit out of fibbing your way through life. But if you come upon a situation where being honest might cause more problems than it's worth — and withholding the truth won't hurt anybody — then consider it OK.

Images: Pexels (12)

Read More 看完整內容