週二(4/23)1.睡不好 原因 2.邪教領袖 給信徒洗腦

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

睡不好 原因

Reasons You Can't Get a Good Night's Sleep

Shelby Harris  psychologytoday

    Your room is too warm. Many people like to create a cocoon-like environment for sleep. But while it might feel nice to be warm and cozy at night, a room that is too warm (or cold, for that matter) can cause multiple awakenings at night, leading to more disrupted and less refreshing sleep. The ideal sleeping temperature range is between 55 and 74 degrees Fahrenheit; most people find that the upper 60s is ideal. If you have a radiator that's hard to control, consider opening your window before you go to sleep—even in the winter—and leave it open a crack throughout the night.

    You took a shower too close to bedtime. Good sleepers tend to have a slight drop in their body temperature just as sleep starts to come on each night. Poor sleepers don't have as much of a drop. So while taking a hot shower or bath just before bedtime sounds like a good idea, it can actually warm up your body even more. The key is timing: It’s best to take a hot shower or bath one-and-a-half-to-two hours before bedtime, which can facilitate the cooling-off process the body is meant to experience before sleep.

    Your workout ran too late. Exercising within three hours of bedtime can be too stimulating for many people. Exercise wakes up the brain and warms up the body, which can both interfere with sleep. The best time to exercise (in terms of helping you sleep well) is four-to-six hours before bedtime. If that's too difficult to schedule, consider exercising in the morning—the bright light can help wake you up, and reinforces a good, regular sleep-wake cycle.

    Dinner was too heavy and too late. Heavy or spicy foods, and large meals within three hours of bedtime can be too stimulating for your body. Limit big meals to at least three hours before going to bed—and if you find yourself hungry closer to bedtime, have a small snack that consists of a combination of protein and a carbohydrate, such as a cracker with cheese or a banana with peanut butter.

    You wound down with your TV or tablet. Watching the news or a gripping show can be psychologically stimulating, but the blue light most screens give off make your brain think that it is still daytime. As a result, melatonin—a hormone in our brain that comes out in darkness and makes us sleepy—doesn't come on as strongly and we aren't able to get sleepy. Turn off all screens within an hour of bedtime and wind down outside your bed with a book or relaxing hobby in dim light.

    You had afternoon coffee. Caffeine can take as long as 12 hours to leave your body—and keep in mind that it's not just found in soda, coffee, and tea, but chocolate and many over-the-counter medications as well. Caffeine doesn't just make it harder to fall asleep; it can also cause disrupted sleep throughout the night. Consider taking a short walk in the sunlight or eating your lunch near a bright window to perk up naturally in the afternoon. The exercise and sunlight can be just as alerting as a cup of coffee.

   You’re overwhelmed. Stress is the number one cause of short-term sleep difficulty. But solutions don't usually come to  us in the middle of the night and so we can get caught up in unproductive worry. If you can’t sleep, get up and out of bed, sit in dim light in another room, and do something quiet, calm, and relaxing that helps take your mind off your worries. Writing a to-do list earlier in the evening can also help clear out your mind. If you wake in the night remembering that you forgot to add something, just put it on the list. Prioritize the list as well, so you know what is most important to get done. And if you keep worrying about the things on your “to-do” list, recite to yourself that you've written it down and will handle it tomorrow.

    You're wound up. Try some relaxation exercises within an hour of bedtime to calm your mind. Deep diaphragmatic breathing and body-scan exercises, in which you become aware of and then relax each body part from head to toe, are excellent ways to relax your body and mind. Many online resources can help you do these exercises. If you wake in the middle of the night, consider getting out of bed and trying some relaxation exercises to take your mind off your worries.

異教領袖 給信徒洗腦

How Do Cults Brainwash Their Victims? - DCODE | Discovery

Not all cults are based on a form of religion, which would also put them in the category of sect, meaning extreme, outside of the mainstream and potentially dangerous.

To counteract what they view as a derogatory label, the term ‘new religious movement’ (NRM) is often used by such cults.

Cults might not seem appropriate for organisations that are commercial in nature, for example pyramid schemes and multi-level marketing, but their use of the same psychological mind controls to suck in members and keep them is similar to the so-called NRM sects that tend to hit the headlines.

Others can offer spurious psychological benefits through expensive self-discovery workshops promising ‘enlightenment’ or ‘freedom’.

Extremist political groups, such as neo Nazis and race-hate organisations, can also be classified as cults.

But of course, it should be easy to spot such obviously aberrant groups, right? Well, no. They are in the highest league of outward disguise to make them appear innocuous.

How They Get You

Take this not-so theoretical scenario. A guy from work notices that you look down. ‘Hey, what’s up?’ he asks – or maybe she.

True enough you are feeling down. Your dog/cat has died or a similar low-mood scenario. You are perfectly normal, but right now you are vulnerable.

But hey! Someone noticed. You tell him your woes. He makes all the right noises, facial expressions and the soft, understanding tap on the shoulder that makes you feel all warm and, actually . . . loved.

A few more conversations and then, ‘Hey, are you free this evening? There’s a great bunch of people I think you’d get on with.’

Who has a problem with that? You might not want to go, but you feel a sense of obligation, gratitude perhaps for him having been there for you. So you go.

Right now, you have no idea who is behind this group of ever so friendly people who welcome you with open arms and say all the right things. At this point you have been targeted. Your recruitment has begun.

So far there is no hard sell because you are being ‘love bombed’. The late Dr Margaret Singer, a leading expert on brainwashing, coined the term.

‘What a great bunch of people,’ you think, and return again and again to your new ‘friends’. And so, your gradual induction into the cult continues, while you remain ignorant of the group’s true purpose.

Identity Erasure

Read More 看完整內容

周六(4/20)1.當朋友變成敵人2.臉部表情重要 PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

當朋友變成敵人

What You Can Do When Your BFF Turns Into Your Worst Enemy

psychologytoday.com

Bethany*, a mother of two, told me that her best friend had suddenly abandoned her: “I don’t understand. One day we're closer than sisters, and the next, we're not speaking.”

Liane, a preschool teacher, said, “My best friend just stabbed me in the back. How could that happen?”

Keisha, an account executive, said, “Stuff has been going on at work, and everybody’s tense. But my closest friend at the office and I always said we’d get through it together. And now I find out she has thrown me under the bus.”

"Frenemies," the popular term for best friends who become enemies, is usually used in reference to teen relationships. But both in my psychotherapy practice and in interviews I did for my new book about women’s friendships,** I heard over and over again about this painful and sometimes surprising reversal in the lives of women of all ages, all over the world. And the anecdotes are backed up by scientific research: According to a study reported in Jan Yager’s book about friendship, 68 percent of people interviewed had been betrayed by a friend at some point. But with frenemies, the betrayal can be followed by making up and being BFFs once again, only to have the friendship disrupted and the whole cycle start over again.

How does this happen? Why? And what’s the best way to respond when it happens to you? (One further question: Does it really happen more with women than with men?)

Recent research into something called “friendship chemistry” offers some insight. “Interpersonal chemistry,” a relatively new concept that has been studied in romantic relationships, also exists in friendships, according to a group of psychologists at California State University, San Bernardino. Defined as “an instant emotional and psychological connection between two individuals,” this chemistry can quickly impact whom we connect with and even how that relationship will turn out in the long run.

Psychologist Kelly Campbell and her team conducted interviews and gave out questionnaires to a sample of 688 men and women between 18 and 66 years old. Campbell and her colleagues, Nicole Holderness and Matt Riggs, found five important factors in friendship chemistry:

1. Reciprocal candor, or mutual understanding and easy communication.

2. Mutual interest, or enjoying the same things and even finding the same things funny.

3. Personableness, or being warm and caring, down-to-earth, and genuine.

4. Similarity, as in values, morals, beliefs about life, life goals, and education.

5. Physical attraction.

 

臉部表情重要

Pleasant Facial Expressions

tutorialspoint

Facial expressions do a majority of the task of conveying information to the other person. An average person may not be able to read the body language of legs or arms. But almost everyone can read the signals displayed on the face of a person. Therefore, it is of high importance that we maintain a good and acceptable facial expression, lest we are hated by everyone for being non- approachable.

The first expression that everyone looks for in a person is the smile. Smile can be rejuvenating, yet deceptive at the same time. A woman with a tight-lipped smile that reveals no teeth is actually symbolic of her lack of interest in the conversation, although it may seem to an average person that she is engrossed in the ongoing talk.

An Original Smile Vs. a Fake Smile

There are many traits of an original smile. Whenever a person smiles naturally, without any voluntary force, wrinkles are created around the eyes. This is because in an original smile, the lip corners are pulled up and the muscles around the eyes are contracted. In a fake smile, only lip movements happen. People giving fake smiles smile only through their mouth and not eyes.

Smile

However, what if the person who you are talking to tries to produce a fake smile by wrinkling his or her eyes voluntarily? There is a trick to identify this as well. When a smile is genuine, the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrow and the eyelid moves downward and the ends of the eyebrows also dip to a slight extent.

Fake Smile

Research has proved that the more a person smiles, the more positive reaction he/she gets from the others. There is one more way to detect false smiles. When a person tries to fake a smile, the right hemisphere of the brain – the one specializing in facial expressions – sends signals only to the left side of the body. Hence, a fake smile will always be stronger on one side and weaker on the other side. However, in a genuine smile, both parts of the brain send signals and hence, the smile is equally strong on both the sides.

If the person’s eyes are looking away from you, then you must realize that the person is bored of you and it is better to either change the topic of discussion or leave. However, if the lips are slightly pressed, the eyebrows are raised and there is a steady gaze of eyes at you along with the head erect or slightly pushed forward, then this implies interest of the person in you.

Read More 看完整內容

週四 (4/18)1.別人對你的看法 重要嗎? 2.聞到 你的心思想法

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

別人對你的看法 重要嗎?

It Doesn't Matter What Other People Think Of You

Kat George  bustle.com

It can be really hard not to worry what other people think about you. Wanting to be liked, and approved of, and smiled at, and applauded is a fairly basic need among modern humans, especially those who have their actual basic needs already met. When you're getting all of those much-wanted things, it's fabulous. You should most definitely let the love and support of family, friends, and romantic partners build you up and make you feel good and cared for, because that's how that's intended to go.

Because the only person that needs to like you is you

It doesn't matter what other people think of you because they don't have to live with you. You are the only person who has to live with you. Thus, you are the only person whose judgement you need to be concerned with when you're making decisions. You're the only person who has to like you because you're stuck with you. Your annoying neighbors can shut the door and avoid you in the halls, but you're going home with you and theirs nothing you can do about that. So prioritize what you think about you and forget everyone else.

Because their criticism of you is rarely about you at all

What someone thinks about you typically has nothing to do with you—it's a reflection on them. When someone judges you, you can rest assured that their opinions are based on nothing but their perception of themselves and their own insecurities. For instance, if you wear something and someone has something to say about it (like "that's too revealing" or some other precious vestige of the past) they're either jealous that they aren't confident enough to wear the same thing, upset that seeing you look awesome is triggering feelings of attraction that they have no recourse for ("I now want to touch you but I can't so I'm going to call you a whore because logic!"), their moral code (repeat: THEIR moral code) is offended, or anything else that is going on WITH THEM that has very little to do with you in any tangible sense. They've decided to feel a certain way, and you have no control over what other people decide to do.

Because you shouldn't need other people to validate you

Too often, we look outward for validation that we are enough and that we're doing a good job at existing, but, as I've said, other people are stupid. They're also mean, self-absorbed, judgmental and pretentious, so seeking validation from other people is as futile as it is self-defeating. Why would you even want the approval of people? People suck. People cheat and lie and steal and start wars and squeeze their pimples on public transport and chew with their mouths open. Ask yourself how YOU feel about what you're doing. If you feel good then that's all the validation you need.

Because no one really knows your life

When people pass judgment, they do so from a very superficial, outside perspective. You can never really know anyone else's life. You don't know how they're hurting, what motivates them, or what is going on in their head. No one knows why you are the way you are, or why you act the way you do, and when people pass value judgments, they're just that. No one knows how happy doing something makes you, or if you do something because of some childhood trauma, if your dreams drive you, or if you're just weird and like to be weird. So to hell with them. They don't know you. You know you. So you do you.

聞到 你的心思想法

The Weirdest Sixth Senses Humans Have

By XJ Selman XJ Selman

Every attempt to prove that humans have some kind of telepathic sixth sense shows it to be complete bullshit. But we still shouldn't sell ourselves short -- we have all sorts of "extra" senses that we either never use or don't notice when we do. And some of them come pretty damned close to mind reading. For instance ...

We Can Smell People's Personalities and Emotions

In a perfect world, you'd never judge someone until you got to know their personality inside and out -- you know, the whole thing about judging a book by its cover. This is not a perfect world, however -- this is a world where sometimes we need to judge the intentions of a stranger in a split second. Thankfully, evolution has given us all sorts of tools for doing it, whether we know it or not.

See, there is a reason you can get a feel for some people before they even say a word: Part of it is the way they smell. And no, we don't mean "That guy gave me the creeps because he smelled of human feces and burnt matches." We're talking about subconscious signals you didn't even know were coming from your nose. Researchers actually conducted a study where they asked participants to wear the same shirt every night for three consecutive nights, and during the study they weren't allowed to use soap, deodorant or anything that could mask their natural smell. Afterward, they made another group smell these shirts, and then asked them to guess which personality traits its wearers had most: dominance, neuroticism or extroversion.

Incredibly, the accuracy rate was just as high as when the same participants were asked to gauge people's personalities from watching a video of them. That's right -- your body odor is just as indicative of who you are as your speech or mannerisms. But it goes further than that. Researchers are discovering that each person's individual smell is so unique that it's almost like a fingerprint, unique enough that it could serve as a really unpleasant alternative to DNA analysis. Here's hoping that whatever detection method they come up with involves a machine of some kind so we don't have to conduct lineups by sniffing a bunch of underwear.

Or maybe we could just sniff the suspects and see which one seems the most nervous. Yeah, your nose can do that, too -- researchers did another study where they strapped a bunch of gauze pads to participants' armpits to collect their sweat while they watched horror movies. Then they taped the fear-sweat-soaked gauze under the noses of a second set of participants. Those subjects were then shown pictures of faces with completely blank expressions, and scientists found that people exposed to the "fear" sweat were more likely to guess that the expressionless faces were fearful.

Another study was done where they collected the sweat from treadmill runners and compared it with the sweat from skydivers. The skydiver sweat, presumably loaded with terror essence, was shown to light up areas of the brain associated with fear, while the runners' sweat simply smelled awful. At this point we assume that everyone went home and showered for three hours.

Read More 看完整內容

週二(4/16)1.常常外食 壞了健康 2.撩妹達人

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

常常外食 壞了健康

Why eating out often is bad for your health

Yuen Yi Ying  asiaone.com

1. It may cause fertility complications

When you get food to go, you may be taking away more than expected.

A recent study by George Washington University in the US found that those who ate out often had phthalate levels that were 35 per cent higher than those who tended to cook at home.

This hormone-disrupting chemical has been linked to fertility issues, pregnancy troubles and other health complications, and pregnant women, teens and children are supposedly more susceptible to its effects.

Some of the main sources of phthalate in food production are things like food wrappers, takeaway boxes, plastic food containers, gloves, and other kitchen equipment, so if you can't avoid takeout entirely, it may be better for you to bring your own glass or stainless steel containers to be filled up.

2. You're likely to base your food choices on pricing and taste

Let's be honest, when picking a meal at a restaurant, most of us don't just scan the menu for what looks appetising.

Cost is a factor as well, and if budget is a concern, you may be more tempted to ditch a healthy grilled fish dish for a plate of creamy pasta.

Besides, when you're eating out, a large bowl of salad never seems quite as satisfying as a basket of fried chicken and fries.

3. It encourages bingeing

The problem with having so much good food in Singapore is that when we're out and about, more often than not, we're going from one eatery to the next, and probably not walking off enough calories between stops.

The trouble is we don't normally associate this behaviour with overeating, which usually conjures up images of someone sitting at home with a bag of chips or tub of ice cream.

4. Junk food makes you lose interest in a healthy diet

When you usually stick to a good, balanced diet, the occasional treat is enough to make you feel satisfied.

However, a study conducted on rats and published in Frontiers in Psychology found that after two weeks of eating a calorie-rich diet consisting of indulgent nosh like pie, dumplings, cakes and cookies, the little critters lost interest in seeking out a variety of foods, which is crucial for a varied diet

撩妹達人

How to Flirt with Women | Best Way to Flirt with a Woman You Like

AJ Harbinger - author of 1047 posts on The Art of Charm

Knowing how to flirt with women is perhaps the most indispensable skill that a man can have when it comes to getting girls to like you. If you feel like you don’t know how to flirt with women, don’t worry: You’re not alone and it’s not like they offered a class on it at college. Keep reading for a guide that will help beginners and men with some knowledge of how to flirt with women to level up their game and become even more adept at the bar, club or anywhere.

Make Her Smile

One of the best things you can do in any situation with a girl is to make her smile. Do this when you’re flirting with light, playful humor, but also with the occasional sincere compliment. Only offer compliments that you actually believe and try to keep them about things other than her physical appearance. After all, she already knows that you’re attracted to her. Let her know that you like her for who she is on the inside.

The thing that underpins everything we teach at The Art of Charm about banter and is the question, answer response process. This is something that helps with one of the biggest problems that we run into: Guys running out of things to say. Basically, how it works is:

    Question: You ask her something. It can be serious. It can be playful. Whatever seems appropriate at the time

    Answer: She gives you her answer. You have no control over how this goes, but you do have control over how you respond.

    Respond: Again, whether your response is serious or playful depends on the situation. Whatever it is that you decide, however, you should respond in such a way that she understands that you listened to her.

This process helps you to communicate effectively, not run out of things to say and let her know that she’s being heard. It is the exact opposite of using canned answers for flirting.

Reach Out and Touch Her

A lot of guys fall short in the flirting game because they’re afraid of touch. But the thing is, touch is one of the best assets in your flirtation toolbox. Touch doesn’t just bridge the gap between you and your girl. It also gives her permission to start touching you. Worried about using touch in flirtation? Don’t be. There are very safe areas to touch a woman, like her hands, arms and upper back that allow you to give her some touch without making things awkward, weird or “creepy.”

Give Her Room to Want You More

One of the best ways to flirt is to get her wanting you even more than she already does. How do you do that? Walk away for a bit. Go grab a drink, walk around the room or maybe even spend a little time flirting with another woman at the bar. If you do this, you might be surprised at how quickly she starts chasing after you rather than the other way around.

You should also be a bit challenging, pushing back. This is not only a fun way to flirt, it’s also a way to establish that you’re not interested in just any woman. Being challenging shows that you’re selective. Being selective increases your value. Creating a little bit of distance between the two of you is a great way to get her to try and pull you back a bit.

Read More 看完整內容

周六(4/13)1.租個”孫子” 吧! 2.容易”抓狂”的人? PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

租個”孫子” 吧!

Hire a Grandson!

hireagrandson

It all started with a friend named Mary. Mary was 75 years old and lived alone in a three-story home. She struggled not only with daily living but also with the "up-keep" of her home. She only lived on the first floor because she could not use the stairs and she was afraid of getting hurt. I knew I had to do something so I spoke with Mary to see how I could help.

She told me she wanted to sell her home and move into the local assisted living facility in her neighborhood but had no idea where to even begin with all her life's possessions! I gathered a team of helpers to assist with her house and off we went! We first started by organizing the home and creating piles to dispose or donate. Next, we packed all of the things Mary wanted to take with her to the Assisted Living facility and what she wanted to give to her extended family. Finally, we packed our truck and moved Mary and her things to the Assisted living of her dreams.

Mary now lives stress-free and she is having the time of her life at her new home. After this experience, I knew there were a lot of "Mary's" out there in the world who could use help like this. Thus, Rent-A-Grandson Property Services was born, helping each senior citizen, one house at a time!

Hire a Grandson is a service-based company serving primarily the North County communities of San Diego County, California, though we will travel to other cities.  The majority of our “grandsons” and “granddaughters” are college students who have time before, between and after class to earn some extra money as well as serve their community.

The purpose of our company is to assist people in the senior community with daily and everyday tasks that they no longer can, should or want to perform.  As such, you won’t be hiring a licensed contractor (nor do you need to) to help you move those items or boxes, take things to storage, to the dump or to a recycling center. 

容易”抓狂”的人?

7 Signs You're an Angry Person

How can you tell the difference between being upset and having a real anger management problem?

We asked Dr. Redford Williams, professor of psychology at Duke University Medical Center and author of "In Control," for seven signs you or someone you love may be on overload.

If you think you might have an anger management problem, it's important to seek the help of a trained medical professional.

Getting Mad over Little Things

Anger can have a positive effect. "A lot of time, anger tells us we need to take action," says Dr. Williams.

"If there were no such thing as anger, Rosa Parks would still be sitting on the back of the bus," he says. "But racial discrimination was a big deal. Someone who gets miffed about comparatively inconsequently things, like being cut off by another driver or having to wait for an elevator is likely to have an 'anger problem.'"

Interrupting

Angry people tend to be impatient people. Often they have trouble waiting for others to finish what they are saying. And even when they are able to let the other person talk, they might not actually be listen - but just pretending to listen.

Holding a Grudge

Relationships can suffer when someone has trouble forgiving someone who has wronged him/her in the past. And people with anger issues often have trouble doing just that.

Instead, they continue to re-experience the frustration, pain, and resentment each time they recall the wrong - whether perceived or real.

Getting Red in the Face

Getting hot can make your face red - and that goes for emotional "heat" as well as hot temperatures as measured on a thermometer. Anger can also cause labor breathing, fidgeting, and even pacing back and forth. Anger clearly effects the body as well as the mind. In fact, numerous studies have shown that angry people are more likely to have high blood pressure and to suffer a stroke or heart attack.

Being Overly Sensitive

Angry people are quick to take offense. Comments that others might laugh off can get under the skin of someone who has an angry disposition. Some people with an anger "problem" are hyper vigilant, always waiting for others to screw up.

Being Cold-Hearted

Angry people tend not to be very compassionate or empathetic. Some take pleasure in the misfortune of others - a phenomenon known as schadenfreude. And some are quick to condemn and slow to praise.

Read More 看完整內容