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成為更好的人
Ways
to Evolve & Be a Better Person (psychcentral)
By Joyce Marter, LCPC
1. Practice gratitude. Look at the good
parts. One of my clients broke his neck in a car accident and sustained other
serious injuries. Session after session, he expressed gratitude that his life
was spared and explored how he wanted to make the most out of every day. He
healed far more quickly than predicted and today is pain-free. I believe this
speaks both of the power of the mind/body connection and of gratitude.
Gratitude attracts more goodness and positivity into life.
2. Let go of defensiveness. Save yourself
and everybody time by skipping the excuses and the bullshit. Beware of denial,
intellectualization, rationalization, projection and look at yourself and your
life honestly. Seek therapy, support or 12-step groups, and the counsel of good
friends and family for perspective. It is only when we let down our defensive
wall that we can truly do our deeper work and grow.
3. Practice acceptance. Don’t be reactive
or get hooked. Don’t expend energy fighting or resisting what you can not
change (other people, their feelings, their behaviors, etc.). Instead, empower
yourself to change what you can (your thinking, your behaviors, your
boundaries, etc.).
4. Forgive and let go of resentments. If
for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the
negative experiences of the past. During times of prayer or meditation, give
thanks for the wisdom and knowledge gained from your suffering. Practice the
mantra, “I forgive you and I release you.”
5. Be authentic. Be genuine and real. Have
the courage and confidence to be yourself. Do not say things that are false,
even to yourself.
6. Reflect empathy. Let go of the need for
judgement. Have the ability to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, consider
how they might feel and reflect that back to them as appropriate.
7. Be direct. Say what you mean and mean
what you say. The truth will set you free. Talk with the person you have issue
with, rather than triangulating others. Avoid passive-aggressive tactics to get
your message across (not responding to emails or calls, etc.)
8. Be kind and compassionate. Only say
things if they are kind, necessary and true. Be of service to others. Consider
the needs and feelings of others before any action.
9. Have integrity. Do what you say you are
going to do. If things have changed and you are moving in a different
direction, be honest and clear with others. Be reliable and consistent. Admit
when you are wrong. Apologize and make amends as needed.
Questions:
How to be a better person? How to make
people like you?
Ways to show gratitude?
How to stay positive when you know your
life sucks?
How to live a happy life?
How to make good judgment decisions?
How to be kind and compassionate?
What are the ways to forgive and let go?
How to show empathy?
離我遠一點
---小心這幾種人
Types of friends to avoid (lovepanky)
Here is a list of types of friends that you really need to avoid.
The Cheater
Many friendships have been crumpled and crushed, because a best friend hit on a friend’s romantic partner.
To avoid making best friends with this type, avoid the sneaky flirts, the sweet talkers and generally, people who try flattering you and talking like you mean the world to them.
You’d be better off with someone who’s more true and down to earth with their claims.
The Leech
A friend who constantly borrows your stuff or money or depends too much on you is one that definitely needs to be avoided. No one wants a one sided relationship. If all your friend does is take from you, without giving anything back in the friendship, there’s no point in being friends anymore. If they’re looking for one, tell them to take a one way trip out of your life.
The Shrink
All of us confide in our friends and ask for advice, but when your BFF starts acting like a paid shrink who always picks flaws in your life or relationships, it can get very annoying and depressing.
The Selfish
This type of friend can go to any lengths for their benefit, but behaves passively when you ask for help.
The Whiner
This type of friend is never satisfied with anything they have, and they spend all their time whining and grumbling about how the world is so darn unfair to them. Stay away!
The Mood Killer
This friend intentionally or unintentionally kills the mood as soon as they enter into a conversation with you. They always seem to find a flaw in anything you do or have, be it your clothes or your love life. They are like the lone dark cloud hovering over you on a sunny day. Nothing positive ever comes out of their mouth. They are never short of sarcastic comments or depressing thoughts.
The Swinger
This friend is partially bonkers because their mood swings change from being nice to totally snappy in seconds without any provocation. And this friend may just use you like a punching bag to express their feelings, be it frustrations or happiness. Who needs to be around someone whose moods swing like a pendulum?
Questions:
What are the types of friends that you really need to avoid?
What to do if a friend who constantly borrows your stuff or money?
What to do if a friend who always picks flaws in your life?
How to deal with friends who intentionally kills the mood as soon as they enter into a conversation with you.
How to deal with a swinger friend?
How to cope with a whining friend
How do you deal with a selfish friend?
How to find a true friend? And ways to be a true friend?
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