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你我都需要朋友
Reasons We Need Friends
Why and how friends can shape your life
psychologytoday.com
Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. 2013
Friends can give you vital life skills. Friendfluence gives you vital life skills; “the very abilities one generally needs to be successful in life” (p. 6). There are many perks of friendship include sharpening your mind, making you generally happier, knowing yourself better, becoming inspired to reach your goals, advancing your career, helping you meet romantic partners, and living a longer and healthier life.
Friends can help you define your priorities. People tend to pick friends who are similar to them. This fact falls under the general proximity rule of close relationships, in that like tends to attract like. Because we fall prey so easily into this similarity trap, it is important to try to stretch yourself to learn from some of those opposites. Flora points out the many ways in which “Birds, feather, flock.” Knowing this can help you grow by expanding your range of friends and trying out some new points of view.
Having friends can help you get more friends. People tend to like others who have a reputation for being nice and helpful, and they like people who like them. If you want to be the type of person who attracts new friends, these qualities will help get you on your way toward building your social group. Once you have more friends, you’ll be able to enjoy some of those perks of friendship.
Close friends support you through thick and thin. To take the most advantage of friendfluence, put effort into your closest friendships. Although being friendly can get you more friends, you don’t need hundreds to help you through life. You may have to prune your friendship tree as you get older to be sure that you give enough attention to the ones who will really matter for your well-being.
Friends can make you miserable too. There is a dark side to friendship. The people who know you the best are also the ones who have the most power to betray you, should the relationship sour. Friends can also get you into trouble. If your friends are doing something bad or harmful, you tend to be more likely to do so as well, a fact to which many drinking buddies can certainly attest. Friends can also cause you stress when they get in the way of other important goals or relationships. Be ready to say no to friends who disappoint, betray, or stress you and you’ll be more likely to get the full friendfluence effect.
You’re less lonely when you have friends. The worst kind of friendfluence, according to Flora, is a complete lack of friends. Loneliness is painful, especially when you are living with loneliness for a prolonged period of time. This is yet another reason to put time, energy, and attention into finding and cultivating a close circle of friends.
Your online friends can steer your thoughts and behaviors. Although online friends are qualitatively different than your in-person friends, they shape you nevertheless. They can also be your source of life support. Flora shows us how Toni Bernhard, author of How to be Sick (link is external), and confined to her home, has maintained a lifeline to the outside world through her closest online friends. Of course, your online friends can also make you miserable too, especially if you get caught in the “friendship paradox” (the fact that most people on Facebook have fewer friends than the average number). If you can avoid having Facebook envy dominate your life, you’ll have more rewarding connections with your extended friendship community.
老外性騷擾
American man charged with sexual harassment molests 3 women in Taipei courthouse
Taiwan News
TAIPEI (Taiwan News) -- An American man who was awaiting a hearing in a Taipei district court for acts of sexual harassment he allegedly committed on Jan. 4, he was reported to have again sexually harassed several women in the courthouse, resulting in his arrest.
Reportedly reeking of alcohol, a 36-year-old American man identified by his first name of "Joseph" appeared at the Shilin District Court at 8:40 a.m. yesterday (May 21) for a court hearing that was to take place at 9:10 a.m.
When Joseph arrived, he smiled lasciviously at a female police officer who was sitting behind a glass window and continued to lustily stare at her and laugh maniacally until she called for other police to help, reported China Times. Next, Joseph ran to a post office counter where he pressed his body against a mother's arm and introduced himself by saying, "Hey good morning, nice to meet you, I'm Tom."
The woman considered him to be a pervert and alerted the police to deal with him. Joseph then ran to the security check where he saw a female bailiff conducting security inspections on people entering the building. He then grabbed the woman's buttocks from behind, before running to the second floor of the courthouse as she immediately notified the district police department.
Joseph then hid outside the courthouse and when he saw a young college woman who was acting as an interpreter, he also grabbed her buttocks from behind. But as he tried to run away again, he was finally apprehended police who took him into custody.
It is understood that he has a long track record of sexual harassment committed after drinking for which he was being prosecuted by the Shilin Prosecutor's Office. On Jan. 4, Joseph was arrested for violating the Sexual Harassment Prevention Act after he reportedly groped the breasts and buttocks of a number of Taiwanese women walking down an alley next to a Zhongshan MRT Station exit in Taipei. His latest acts will be added to the existing list of charges for sexual harassment.
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