周二(6/4)1.充實人生 2.浪漫愛情故事存在嗎?

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

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充實人生

Ways To Live A Full Life (And Leave Nothing On The Table) 

Ryan Holiday

Do Ridiculous Things

Some of the best decisions of my life came out of total irresponsibility and whim. My wife and I got a dog because I was reading a book about how Pope Leo X had a pet elephant named Hanno. That’d be a funny name for a dog, I thought. A week later, we had a miniature dachshund puppy. One of the best things I ever did. Our dog is now ten years old. There’s no story behind how we got our first goat except that we asked ourselves: Why not? So we got a goat and had Smitty’s BBQ on the way home and called it a day.

“The Right Time is Right Now.”

This is Casey Neistat’s line. It’s great. When I moved to a farm, do you know how many people I heard from telling me they’ve always wanted to do that? Let me tell you, it wasn’t a tough vetting process. It’s not like getting into Harvard. If you think you want to do it, do it.

Get Married. Be in a Long Term Relationship.

People say they want to end up with someone, they say they want to get married someday, and then what do they do? Everything but what makes that possible. Pick a person and be in a relationship already. It’s the best thing you will ever do. It’s a lot of work. It will be painful and tough at times. But it is better than the affluenza of Tinder. I’m not saying settle, but I am saying that relationships are great because you make them great, not because you search until you magically find one that’s already perfect. And enough with this polyamory nonsense. Maybe it makes .01% of the population happier, but the fact that they need to sell everyone on it so much makes me think it’s probably not working for them either. Neil Strauss wrote a wonderful book about this, don’t waste a decade of your life being an idiot.

 Exercise Every Single Day

Don’t let yourself get to the point where you feel like some day in the future you’d like to lose weight or be in shape. Be in shape. Make exercise part of your job, part of your duties as a human being. Let endorphins be something you give yourself every day.

Don’t Compare Yourself To Other People

Caesar famously wept at the feet of a statue of Alexander the Great. “Do you not think it is matter for sorrow that while Alexander, at my age, was already king of so many peoples, I have as yet achieved no brilliant success?” he said. Um, you were both fucking terrible. And now you’re both gone. Who cares whether so-and-so did this or that earlier than you? Who cares that so-and-so had more?

 Be Responsible

I have a life insurance policy. I have money saved. If something happens to me, people I care about will be taken care of. The Avocado Toast guy was right. A lot of people are spending money on shit they can’t afford and then they want to blame other people for it.

浪漫愛情故事存在嗎?

Are Romantic Movies Really Ideal Love Stories? 
Features By Kevin Carr

         

Everyone enjoys a good love story, don’t they?

They may not be the highest-grossing movies of all time (if James Cameron isn’t directing, that is), but romantic movies can elicit some strong emotional responses when done right. Watching passion overcome adversity, seeing two people connect on a profound level, witnessing a giant ship sinking in icy waters. The heartstrings tremble, they also seem to set up impossible romantic ideals for us mere mortals to live up to.

With the potential relationship pitfalls that come from movie expectations, I got to thinking… are romantic movies really the best love stories?

The Answer: Not at all. Most are actually pretty messed up.

Romantic dramas are a different story. If you want to keep a relationship going, don’t plan your relationship like one of these movies. The consequences can be quite dire.

It’s not surprising to learn that cheating is a bad thing for relationships. Unfortunately, it also appears to be standard human behavior. More than half of men and women admit to being unfaithful in at least one relationship. When infidelity happens in a marriage, it results in divorce about one-third of the time. So while these figures show that people can be forgiving, cheating happens. A lot. However, they still happen in love stories more than in real life.

Most of the time, the lovers don’t end up together

Once again referring to the top 20 grossing romance dramas, the lovers don’t even end up together by the end of the film. The couples figuratively ride off into the sunset in only six of these movies (Pearl Harbor, Jerry Maguire, The Vow, Indecent Proposal, Dear John, and Safe Haven). In An Officer and a Gentleman, the characters literally walk off into the sunset, which must count for something.

The Notebook is a slightly different story, considering the lovers don’t actually end up together until after the story is told. And even then, she can’t remember a damn thing about him in the end, anyway. How’s that for irony? Nicholas Sparks, you devil!

That leaves 12 of these movies – amounting to 60% – in which the lovers’ time together is limited in some way. And just because this list is for films made since 1980 doesn’t mean the trend started there. Some of the best-known historical romances feature the main characters going their separate ways. From Gone with the Wind in which Rhett Butler doesn’t give a damn to Casablanca (which again features some infidelity) in which Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) leaves Rick (Humphrey Bogart) and Renault (Claude Rains) to live happily ever after together.

In fact, romantic dramas don’t just make a point to split characters up. They keep them apart through much of the movie, as you’ll see in the wildly popular Doctor Zhivago, as well as the more recent Top 20 films like Cold Mountain and Legends of the Fall.

Questions:

Are Romantic Movies Really Ideal Love Stories

Do believe in Love movie Stories?

What kind of movies you enjoy most?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Why people Love Fairy Tales?

Why does every movie have a happy ending?

What are the reasons K-dramas so popular?

How to Find Your One True Love?

How to know if you’re in Love? 

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周六(6/1)1.同性婚 專法通過 2.時尚陷阱 PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

同性婚 專法通過

Taiwan celebrates Asia's first same-sex marriages as couples tie knot

Yimou Lee  reuters

TAIPEI (Reuters) - Same-sex couples tied the knot in emotional scenes in Taiwan on Friday, the first legal marriages in Asia hailed by activists as a social revolution for the region.

Taiwan’s parliament passed a bill last week that endorsed same-sex marriage, although the measure could complicate President Tsai Ing-wen’s bid for re-election next year.

More than 360 same-sex couples married on Friday, according to government data, after years of heated debate over marriage equality that has divided the self-ruled and democratic island.

Twenty couples queued at a marriage registration office in downtown Taipei, where rainbow flags were on display alongside stacks of government-issued, rainbow-themed registration forms.

“I feel very lucky that I can say this out loud to everyone: I am gay and I am getting married,” said Shane Lin, a 31-year-old baker who with his partner were the first couple to register in the Taipei office.

“I am extremely proud of my country Taiwan,” said a tearful Lin.

The euphoria and emotion within the island’s gay community was on display as newly-wed couples walked down a rainbow-colored carpet in a nearby park, watched by families and friends as well as diplomats and reporters.

Chi Chia-wei, an activist who brought a case to Taiwan’s constitutional court that led to a landmark court ruling on same-sex marriage in 2017, congratulated the couples.

“This is the right that we deserved from a long time ago,” he said, draped in a giant rainbow flag that symbolizes the colors of the international gay movement.

“As a beacon in Asia, I hope Taiwan’s democracy and human rights could have a ripple effect on other countries in Asia,” he added.

Supporters also celebrated on social media, sharing posts with rainbow colors.

Friday’s celebration followed a years-long tussle over marriage equality that culminated in the 2017 declaration by the constitutional court giving same-sex couples the right to marry, and setting a deadline of May 24 for legislation.

Marriage equality was backed by the ruling Democratic Progressive Party (DPP), but the measure could complicate President Tsai’s bid for a second term in elections next year.

Conservative groups that oppose same-sex marriage said the legislation disrespected the people’s will.

America’s de facto embassy in Taiwan called the island’s quest for equality “an inspiring journey and an example for the entire world.”

“Only in a democracy such as Taiwan’s can human rights and civil rights be protected and nurtured,” the American Institute in Taiwan wrote on its Facebook page.

Same-sex marriage is not recognized by Hong Kong and neighboring China, which regards Taiwan as a wayward province to be returned to the fold by force, if necessary.

 

時尚陷阱

 Toxic dyes, lethal logos, cotton drenched in formaldehyde... How your clothes could poison you

By Rebecca Ley for the Daily Mail

As she opened the packet of new T-shirts she had bought from a well-known High Street chain, Merlene Paul hoped that, just for once, she would be able to indulge her former love of clothes.

But within seconds she was overwhelmed by familiar sensations. ‘My throat closed up, my eyes started to sting and a sharp, acrid smell made my nose prickle,’ says the retired 63-year-old. ‘I knew I had to get away from the T-shirts quickly, or I’d have a full-blown reaction.’

The culprit? Formaldehyde. It is most commonly associated with preserving corpses, but, alarmingly, many big clothing chains also use it to give their wares a fresh, unwrinkled appearance and prevent mildew during shipping.

  

Not that you’d necessarily know. The manufacturers of clothes sold in the UK are not required to disclose the use of the chemical on labels. And despite tests in New Zealand that discovered formaldehyde levels in some Chinese clothes exports up to 900 times higher than the prescribed safety limit, no testing has been done on similar clothes sold in Britain.

Yet formaldehyde, a highly toxic, colourless gas, has been linked to skin irritation and allergic reactions. Even more worryingly, the chemical is classified as a human carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer.

And according to Merlene, from Hungerford, Berkshire, it’s ubiquitous: ‘It’s in mattresses, bedding, carpeting, furniture and in most of the clothes that we buy. Department stores smell pungently of it. And washing clothes before you wear them isn’t always enough to get rid of it.’

She first experienced a problem 20 years ago when she was working in the interior design industry, spending hours each day in a workshop where rolls of fabric were being stored.

Q:

How our clothes are poisoning us?

How avoid toxic chemicals when buy clothes?

What do you like about clothing and fashion?

What do you think that clothes import from china?

Can you trust Chinese-made products?

What are the toxic things you probably use every day?

What are cancer causing carcinogens?

時裝是生活中絢爛的一部分，消費者在選購時首重樣式和質料，但是衣服和鞋子製作過程中使用許多有毒物質，讓我們在不知不覺中被有毒物質環繞。

迫於全球化競爭、價格壓力和時裝業僥倖心態，大型服裝連鎖在中國印度和孟加拉都有設廠，低廉的人工和鬆散的環保規範成為這些地區吸引廠商的特點，但是受影響的不只是當地的工人，接觸到的消費者也受到毒物汙染。

服裝中的毒物是一般消費者尚未意識到的一環，【時尚陷阱】將深入追蹤這些有毒物質，防腐防霉劑、鉻、偶氮染料和氯氣都是美國及歐盟明文禁止的使用，但在這些地區卻是隨處可見，即使是有機材質也難免於有毒染劑，也常常是基因改造的棉花製成。

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周六(5/25)1.生命需要放下! 2. 接受不完美的勇氣 PM 7:00-9:00

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

生命需要放下!

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts

By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Ways to Let Go of Past Hurts

The only way you can accept new joy and happiness into your life is to make space for it. If your heart is filled full-up with pain and hurt, how can you be open to anything new?

1. Make the decision to let it go.

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

Making the conscious decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. To stop reliving the past pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person (after you finish step 2 below). This is empowering to most people, knowing that it is their choice to either hold on to the pain, or to live a future life without it.

2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.

Express the pain the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). Get it all out of your system at once. Doing so will also help you understand what — specifically — your hurt is about.

We don’t live in a world of black and whites, even when sometimes it feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you experienced, there may have been a small part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity? Or are you someone deeper and more complex than that??

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex. And messy.

In every moment, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Why would you let the person who hurt you — in the past — have such power, right here, right now?

No amount of rumination of analyses have ever fixed a relationship problem. Never. Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to a person who you feel has wronged you?

4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.

Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist — you — is forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing _______________.”

接受不完美的勇氣

5 Tips to Accept Your Imperfections, No Matter How Different You Feel

Kate-Toholka

1. See your perceived flaws in a whole new light.

Nothing is ever completely good or completely bad. In fact, everything is in perfect, harmonious balance. Find the benefit of that one thing you have trouble accepting, and change your perception to see that it’s not so bad having it after all.

2. Practice gratitude daily.

We all have so much to be grateful for. Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mindset, which will help you to accept yourself for who you really are.

Create a daily gratitude journal and list three things for which you are grateful. Do this in the morning to start your day on a positive note.

3. Recognize that you are not your thoughts.

We get so lost in the story that goes through our minds. Our egoistic mind is, in fact, our greatest storyteller. And too often, we believe everything it tells us.

Learn to recognize that thoughts are created by an egoistic, survival-focused mind. It sees the threat in everything. Start to separate yourself by asking your mind this: “Does this thought serve me and my purpose? Does this thought actually help me?”

4. Be vulnerable with others.

You will be pleasantly surprised to know that you are not alone in this big, beautiful world. Someone out there has gone through your tribulations and trials, and they will understand what you are going through.

We can feel so alone with our ego at times, so sharing with others can help us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It also helps us to change our perception, as others can guide us to a different angle.

5. Look after yourself.

Eat a nourishing diet, move regularly, rest often, and be mindful. We, too often, underestimate how the mind and body work both ways. By looking after your body, you are creating a sacred environment for your true being. It makes acceptance a lot easier when you look after the house your soul resides in.

It wasn’t until I started applying these five tips that I finally began the arduous process of accepting every little part of me, including that ever so tough one of my hearing loss. Every day, I accept myself a little more.

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週四 (5/23)1.傷害你自尊的友誼! 2.同性戀廣告照片

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

傷害你自尊的友誼!

Signs Your Friendship Hurts Your Self-Esteem

Lara Rutherford-Morrison bustle

Sometimes it’s easy to forget the simple truth that you do not have to stay friends with anyone with whom you don’t want to. I get that it can feel almost impossible to cut ties with friends, especially ones that you’ve grown up with or have known a very long time, but you can and you should if a friendship isn’t bringing anything remotely good into your life, and that goes double if your friend is making you feel bad about yourself. When you have a friend who is bad for your self esteem, it can be hard to let go of the friendship precisely because your friend has damaged your sense of self-worth, and you therefore don’t think you deserve better. But if you recognize these signs of a self-esteem-wrecking relationship in one of your friendships, it’s time to seriously consider getting the hell out of there:

You friend criticizes and belittles you.

We rely on good friends to deliver cold, hard truths when we need it (like “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you are not among the blessed few who can rock drop crotch pants” or “Lady, you have a PATTERN when it comes to the people you date, and the pattern is that you love douchebags.”). But there’s a difference between a friend who helps you see important truths that you may not be able to see yourself, and a friend who is simply mean. If you have a friend who constantly seems to pick at you — criticizing everything from the way you look and speak to the way you live your life — that person isn’t a friend.

 You worry more about your friend’s approval than your own opinion.

When you feel really emotionally beaten down by someone, it’s easy to become dependent on that person for approval. It’s a twisted reaction, but one that makes sense; after all, if someone is constantly telling you that what you do is bad, then that person must be an authority on what’s good, right? (Wrong.)

If you find yourself thinking, “I wonder if [Insert name of judgmental friend here] would approve of this?” every time you have to make a decision, think about why you’re so concerned with what that person thinks. Is it because you actually believe that friend could be helpful, or because you’re so used to that person tearing you down that you’re afraid to give him or her a reason to criticize you?

 Their “teasing” isn’t funny. It actually makes you feel like crap.

One of the best aspects of a good friendship is having someone who can tease you with love and help you not to take yourself too seriously. But, at some point in our lives, we’ve all experienced that line of teasing that slides right past “funny” and hits “mean” instead. If your not-very-good friend’s teasing consistently makes you feel uncomfortable and bad about yourself, ask him or her to stop. If you get a response like “Don’t be so sensitive” or “It’s just a joke” and the teasing continues, go find a friend who doesn’t go out of his or her way to make you feel awful.

You get a lot of backhanded compliments.

If you get a new haircut, and your friend responds by saying, “OMG, your hair looks so much better! It used to make your chin look so pointy!”, stop being friends with that person right now. Backhanded compliments are passive aggressive ways of simultaneously making people feel bad about themselves while also making them question whether or not they’re allowed to feel angry (They are). A real compliment will make you feel good, The End.

 You feel better when he or she isn’t around.

If you feel better about yourself and your life when your friend isn’t around — If you feel a rush of relief when you’re done hanging out with that person — that’s a very strong sign that your friend needs to go.

Remember: Friendships are voluntary. If your friend makes you feel bad about yourself, if he or she makes you question your worth, or if you just don’t enjoy his or her company, it’s time to pull back from this toxic relationship and start investing in friendships that actually make you happy.

 

同性戀廣告照片

Disappearance of gay-themed airline ad causes... | Taiwan News

TAIPEI (Taiwan News) – Just days after Taiwan became the first country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage, a furor erupted in Hong Kong about an apparent ban on a gay-themed image in a massive new promotion campaign for the territory’s main airline.

Cathay Pacific launched a series of photos to emphasize its replacing the slogan “Life Well Travelled” with “Move Beyond.”

While the slogan was first criticized as incomplete, it was the photo of two men in suits strolling hand in hand along a beach with the tagline “Move Beyond Labels” which caused a ruckus.

Hong Kong’s subway system, the MTR, and the city’s airport, one of the main transit hubs in the world, reportedly banned the picture from their billboards. The apparent decision provoked widespread outrage, with critics pointing out statements by the companies in favor of diversity.

The backlash led to a campaign by gay rights group Big Love Alliance encouraging same-sex couples to take pictures of themselves, a move which was also followed by celebrities in the community.

Following the outcry, the MTR seemed to shift responsibility away to the agency handling its advertising, JCDecaux of France, the South China Morning Post reported.

The company mentioned clauses in its contract with the MTR which referred to potentially controversial or offensive subjects.

The airport operator said the picture with the male couple was not among those that had been submitted for billboards at the airport.

Cathay Pacific meanwhile, did not directly comment on the uproar, but emphasized the diversity of both its staff and its passengers and its own policies of inclusion. During a meeting about its rebranding campaign, the airline had reportedly told personnel that one of the key messages was “to fly with pride for our LGBT community allies,” the South China Morning Post reported.

Despite all the explanations facing the backlash, in the end, nobody was actually able to say if and when the ad would appear at MTR stations and at Hong Kong Airport.

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