週二(12/30)1. 網路夜貓族2.有條件的愛

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網路夜貓族

Online night-owls 'risk mental illness': Sleepless nights blamed for rise in teen depression

(dailymail)

Young people who become sleep deprived by using the internet into the small hours are much more likely to become mentally ill in later life, research shows.

Lack of sleep may help explain the puzzling increase in mental illness among young people in recent decades, according to an extensive study.

And regularly staying up late to surf the internet and chat on social networking sites could be one reason young people are sleeping less, according to the research.

Night-owls: Young people who become sleep deprived because of late night internet use are more likely to become mentally ill

The study of about 20,000 young people aged between 17 and 24 found that those who slept fewer than five hours a night were three times more likely than normal sleepers to become psychologically distressed in the next year.

Each hour of sleep lost was linked to a 14 per cent increased risk of distress, according to the results, published in the journal Sleep.

Professor Nicholas Glozier, who led the research, said: 'Sleep disturbance and in particular insomnia is a predictor of later development of depression and possibly anxiety.'

Less sleep was also associated with longer-term mental health problems - which were the focus of the professor's study.

A lot of mental ill-health comes and goes, he said. 'It's the ones who don't get better that we are particularly interested in.'

The professor, who researches psychiatry and sleep medicine at the University of Sydney, believes lack of sleep could contribute to increasing rates of depression.

Questions:

What do you think “online night-owls 'risk mental illness”?

Do you think night owls more likely to become mentally ill?

What do you think about young people who become sleep deprived by using the internet?

Are you a night owl or an early bird?

How much sleep do you need?

The pros and cons of being a night owl/ an early bird?

Is the internet making us depressed?

Why do people get depressed?

有條件的愛

Love is Conditional | Written by Misgana Damir |

It is a common statement among many that love is unconditional or must be unconditional. By unconditional we mean loving a person for what he really is and not having a standard of qualifications to love someone; it is to love a person without expecting a return; it is not loving only when he or she acts, thinks, believes, or feels in ways that we prefer. And I wonder if love is unconditional, what is making all the great relations to come to an end? Couples who once upon a time were madly in love with each other, now they don’t get tired of going to the court; begging for divorce. What could possibly happen to their love? Could it be because one of them started losing interest and someone was mad not getting all the attention? Could it be, because the man wasn’t a good listener Or the woman don’t know when to keep quite. Don’t you wonder why all the fairy tales would end by saying, “and they live happily ever after”? If there is part two of those stories, it would be Cinderella finding her husband checking out other women and sending him to the couch for the night or snow white would caught her husband cheating and struggle whether to forgive or to leave. And there is the story of Abraham and Sarah who are considered by many, the idol of happy marriage; how strange! In the bible Abraham would find another woman named agar and would have a baby from her because the beautiful Sarah can’t. If love is unconditional shouldn’t husband and wife stay together no matter what?

To love someone unconditionally means not to love someone because of certain factors that he/she have or does. It is loving someone holistically. But if most of us are asked why we love our partner, the answer that comes most of the times is: it’s because she is beautiful, smart, caring and really cares about my feeling etc. Many philosophers argue that there is no reason to love someone and others will strongly argue that there is always reason to love someone. The example that comes most often as a symbol of unconditional love is, the love of a mother to her child. A mother would give all the love for her newborn no matter his physical appearance. The child gets love for just being himself and the mother gives without expecting a return. When you reason with this example, you start to believe unconditional love is not a fiction. However, just like a mother to a child, can two people who have no lineage of blood love unconditionally.

How about the married couples, at the bloom of their honeymoon they are the “I will die for you” Romeo and Juliet, but with time the spirit is gone. The husband blames the woman for not making effort and the woman for not appreciating it. Compliments replaced by criticism, efforts to impress would perish: things he used to do just to see her smile, admiration, approval, giving confidence, giving positive regards and remarks, would go with the wind.  

Questions:

Is love conditional or unconditional?

Is there love at first sight?

How to be more romantic?

Is there such a thing as a soul mate? Is there true love?

How to find your soul mate? Where will you find true love?

What do you think the quotations that “true love gives without expecting in return?

“i will die for you”?

How to compliment a girl/ a guy?

How do you do? Love or bread?

愛，有條件——許常德

  愛，不是不該有條件嗎？  那不就很商業化嗎？  是的，愛本來就是商業行為，商業的基礎就是我滿意才能跟你有交集，不是嗎？

 或者說，人們把愛無限上綱到偉大到底是為了什麼？  是以為愛得越沒底線就約有把握，還是只是為了呼應社會的期待？

 對方沒有錢，你敢跟他結婚嗎？  對方有暴力傾向，你也能包容嗎？  如果你是一個愛乾淨的人，他 ​​剛好跟你相反怎麼辦？  條件不一定跟錢有關，也不一定是多大的條件，但只要是條件，就很難不在乎。  像我有個朋友，從小就不喝純水，也不吃蔬菜和水果，他們全家都知道他的怪癖，有次他老婆跟他有小小的爭執，結果就用他最受不了的方式反擊——她拿橘子丟他，而且連丟三次。  朋友差點和老婆離婚，你也許覺得太小題大做，但這就是他的底線，而這就是你堅持的“條件”。

 能在決定愛下去之前開出條件是好的，那就表示你在乎你們的愛會不會出問題，表示你願意讓對方清楚那些事你有警戒線，甚至提醒對方也該提提自己的需求，畢竟兩人在感情喝生活中相融不是那麼容易，不可能什麼都契合，愛也解決不了這些不契合，婚前或相愛前沒這個溝通，往後可就沒這溝通的空間了，因為往後可能都是發生事情后才爆發出心底的不滿。

 不談條件，條件就不存在了嗎？  當然不，那些沒說出來的條件就會變成怨氣積在全家人的心裡，那是藏不住的穢氣，在家人的言談和肢體間。

 有人說我要嫁的人需要有一千萬的存款，你會怎麼想？  另一個人說我什麼條件都沒有，你又會怎麼說？

 一個連條件都不開的人不見得什麼都不要，很有可能是你的都是對方的。  你若什麼都沒有，對方也能跟你一起打拼，但如果你負債太多，對方可能就沒辦法跟你奮鬥下去了。  能把條件講清楚的人，遊戲規則相對地清楚，不用猜，也不會誤會。

 “條件”，也許可以用另外的字眼來取代，就是“需求”。

 需要你幫我完成的幸福，需要你幫我實現的夢想，不管你做得到做不到，你都給我勇氣跟你說。  或許這些條件都太不現實，或許說的過程也是跟愛的人溝通的過程，婚姻有沉重的負擔，愛情是多變的情緒，沒有一點坦白的需求，幸福來得就會比你想的一次不如一次。

 愛都是從需求開始的，但愛走到後來，就會有更多的需求，不是你幫我倒一杯水就會幸福了。  漫長的相處時間如何保鮮又滿足，靠得還是智慧和重視。  減少需要的落空，就是不要給對方太大的負擔，並且養成主動表達需求的能力，條件越小越容易實現，也能讓對方感到自信，因為對方幫你完成了你開的條件。

 ——台灣資深音樂人、作家許常德