周五 (1/22) 1.鬼遮掩的愛情 使人變笨 2.從谷底反彈的能力

 新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

PM7:00   --9:30

鬼遮掩的愛情 使人變笨
Why love makes you so silly, according to an expert
Chelsea Greenwood  insider
 
    The love shared by two people is a wonderful thing and it can often prompt individuals to act differently than normal.
    Usually, acting silly because you're in love is harmless but, sometimes it can be destructive.
    We spoke to a licensed psychotherapist for her insights into why love makes you silly, possible red flags, and ways to control your love-induced silly behavior.
 
Love is a wonderful thing. And, while love comes in many forms – the love of friends, family members, or humanity as a whole – the love that most people think of when they hear the word is the passionate, romantic kind, between two partners.
 
If you've ever been in a relationship, you know that when love hits your system it can cause you to act differently and, in many cases, downright silly. For some, it's a mild form of silliness, like skipping around, giggling, and acting giddy. For others, that silliness can manifest as a lack of common sense or judgment that leads one to act foolishly.
 
So why does this happen? We consulted Dr. Marni Feuerman, a licensed psychotherapist and author of the new book "Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships," for some answers on why exactly love makes you act like a silly goose.
Your body experiences physical changes when you fall in love
 
When people fall in love, they experience a surge of hormones and neurotransmitters that make them feel good, Dr. Feuerman told INSIDER.
 
"Such chemistry overrides our logical, rational thought," she says, which can lead you to doing things you might not otherwise.
These changes have a similar effect on our brains as drugs do
 
If you feel high around your crush, there's a physical reason for that, she said. "Science tells us that the chemical and hormonal changes are coded in our brains similar to addiction."
 
That leads you to wanting more and more of that person – sometimes to an extreme extent.
Being in love dampens our cognitive functioning
 
It can be hard to focus when you're in love.
Paramount Pictures
 
Have you ever been so in love with someone that you can't get them off your mind? You're not alone. "The feeling of being in love takes up a lot of mental space and even dampens our cognitive functioning – at least temporarily," she said.
 
"This certainly isn't good for our insight or judgment."
Sometimes, we mix up love and lust
 
While you might think you've fallen in love with your new partner, sometimes you might actually be feeling physical lust or infatuation. "The early stages of meeting someone whom we are attracted to and with which we have intense chemistry can trick us into thinking we are in love this early on," she said.
 
According to Harvard University, lust releases the hormones estrogen and testosterone, attraction releases dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, and attachment releases oxytocin and vasopressin.
 
Though different, all three experiences can feel similar.
People who are younger, naive, and less experienced are more likely to act silly when in love
 
First time in a relationship? You're more likely to act out of sorts because of your love connection. The same goes for young and naive people, Dr. Feuerman said. "It is more likely to happen to those who are younger, less experienced with love and/or has a tendency to be naive in general." But she adds: "I think the silliness can happen to anyone at any time."
Silly behavior is more likely to happen at the beginning of the relationship
 
You'll likely feel less in control in the beginning of a relationship.
 
Acting silly is more likely at the start of a relationship when things are fresh because this is when we get the biggest chemical surge, she said. The more serious stuff comes next.
 
"For a relationship to survive, it has to get past this phase into a more stable and consistent phase," she said. "For this next phase to be successful, though, you should feel safe and secure within the relationship. You often do not feel this way in the beginning."
It's also more likely in romantic relationships than platonic relationships
 
Goofing off and having fun with your besties is definitely silly behavior, but it's not quite the same as the way you act when in love.
 
"People can still be silly in a platonic relationship but often not to the same degree as a romantic relationship," Dr. Feuerman said. "The neurochemistry isn't involved to interfere in a platonic relationship the way it does in a romantic relationship."
 
So, when you're around someone you're not in love – or lust – with, you tend to act more rational and grounded, she said.
While some love-induced silliness is harmless, it can sometimes be destructive
 
Over the years, Dr. Feuerman has seen examples of people tolerating awful behavior from their partners in the name of love, she said.
 
"For example, finding obvious signs of cheating but believing the ridiculous story or excuse that is spun [by the cheater]. I have also seen people get taken for a lot of money."
Certain red flags may indicate that your silly behavior is getting out of hand
 
Be sure to be aware of how you're being treated in your relationship.
 
Most of the time, being madly in love isn't a bad thing. But there are some exceptions.
 
"The only reason to be concerned is if the behaviors are damaging or you are being manipulated," she said. "It is also concerning if you take the serious step of engagement or marriage without being grounded about the relationship."
 
But you can guard against the effects of love-induced silliness to a certain extent
 
There are some ways to protect yourself from the effects of silliness in love. One strategy is to keep your good friends and family close and listen to their feedback about your behavior and relationship, Dr. Feuerman said.
 
"If they think you are being silly or stupid with a love interest, take a step back to thoughtfully reflect on what they are saying instead of jumping to defend. These people are not under love's spell the way you are."
 
從谷底反彈的能力
Developing Resilience: Overcoming and Growing from Setbacks
By the Mind Tools Content Team By the Mind Tools Content Team
 
    I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. – American inventor, Thomas Edison
 
According to legend, Thomas Edison made thousands of prototypes of the incandescent light bulb before he finally got it right. And, since the prolific inventor was awarded more than 1,000 patents, it's easy to imagine him failing on a daily basis in his lab at Menlo Park.
 
In spite of struggling with "failure" throughout his entire working life, Edison never let it get the best of him. All of these "failures," which are reported to be in the tens of thousands, simply showed him how not to invent something. His resilience gave the world some of the most amazing inventions of the early 20th century, such as the phonograph, the telegraph, and the motion picture.
 
It's hard to imagine what our world would be like if Edison had given up after his first few failures. His inspiring story forces us to look at our own lives – do we have the resilience that we need to overcome our challenges? Or do we let our failures derail our dreams? And what could we accomplish if we had the strength not to give up?
 
In this article, we'll examine resilience: what it is, why we need it, and how to develop it; so that we have the strength and fortitude to overcome adversity, and to keep on moving forward towards our dreams and our goals.
The Importance of Resilience
 
Resilience (or resiliency) is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned. Resilient people don't wallow or dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.
 
According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience:
 
    Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
    Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.
    Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to take action.
 
Another leading psychologist, Martin Seligman, says the way that we explain setbacks to ourselves is also important. (He talks in terms of optimism and pessimism rather than resilience, however, the effect is essentially the same.) This "explanatory style" is made up of three main elements:
 
    Permanence – People who are optimistic (and therefore have more resilience) see the effects of bad events as temporary rather than permanent. For instance, they might say "My boss didn't like the work I did on that project" rather than "My boss never likes my work."
    Pervasiveness – Resilient people don't let setbacks or bad events affect other unrelated areas of their lives. For instance, they would say "I'm not very good at this" rather than "I'm no good at anything."
    Personalization – People who have resilience don't blame themselves when bad events occur. Instead, they see other people, or the circumstances, as the cause. For instance, they might say "I didn't get the support I needed to finish that project successfully," rather than "I messed that project up because I can't do my job."
 
In our Expert Interview with Dr. Cal Crow, the co-founder and Program Director of the Center for Learning Connections, Dr. Crow identified several further attributes that are common in resilient people:
 
    Resilient people have a positive image of the future. That is, they maintain a positive outlook, and envision brighter days ahead.
    Resilient people have solid goals, and a desire to achieve those goals.
    Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate, however, they don't waste time worrying what others think of them. They maintain healthy relationships, but don't bow to peer pressure.
    Resilient people never think of themselves as victims – they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.
 
How we view adversity and stress strongly affects how we succeed, and this is one of the most significant reasons that having a resilient mindset is so important.
 
The fact is that we're going to fail from time to time: it's an inevitable part of living that we make mistakes and occasionally fall flat on our faces. The only way to avoid this is to live a shuttered and meager existence, never trying anything new or taking a risk. Few of us want a life like that!
 
 
 
 
 

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周六(1/16)1.你的思想連線成功 2.擁抱治療師!

  板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:30--9:30

你的思想連線成功
This important mindset will make you more successful  linkedin.com
 
In your mind, these stories are the truth, they’re gospel. In your mind, you simply have a realistic view of what you can and can’t do, what you are and what you aren’t good at. You’re just being honest with yourself, right? But remember this: who told you these things which are now the truth? Probably no one but yourself. So how certain can you be that they are in fact true?
 
What we’re actually talking about here are our self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that we all have about ourselves, to a lesser or greater extent in certain situations and in certain environments. They’re ‘self-limiting’ because if we let them control and dominate the thoughts we have about ourselves and our abilities, they can be hugely damaging to both our current and future career success, something I will come back to later.
The way you think has a huge impact on your propensity to learn
 
So, how can you move from a fixed to a growth mindset, and become more employable in the process?
How to switch your mindset and become more successful
 
I’m no expert in this area, but having read around this topic and reflected on my own experience, I think there are a few things you can start doing today to grow your growth mindset, and help secure your future career success:
 
1. Become more self-aware: Reflect on what your typical response is when faced with certain challenges, what triggers you to transition into a fixed mindset and how can you return to a position of growth? Do you worry about not being ‘good enough’ or doubt your ability to find a solution to a problem you feel you don’t have the skills to solve? Do you feel overwhelmed and fear failure, so focus your attention on other tasks, tasks which you know you’re naturally good at? When given feedback, do you feel your defences go up? What I’m trying to say here is that you need to think about how you feel at those key ‘trigger’ moments, listening to the voice in your head and what it’s telling you. When you do, you’ll be able to pick out those unhelpful self-limiting narratives going around in your head, narratives that you’ll need to silence if you are to move from a fixed to a growth mindset in any meaningful way.
 
2. Understand that your brain works like a muscle, it can be trained: This phenomenon is known as neuroplasticity, as has been explained by Professor and Neuroscientist, Michael Merzenich, the man widely acclaimed as the father of the concept of brain plasticity. Experiments have shown that not only is the brain designed to change, but also it’s functioning can be improved at any stage. Merzenich explains in this video that the human brain works much like a muscle, requiring challenges in order to grow. You therefore can’t expect your brain to grow if you’re constantly doing the same things, and not challenging it. Instead, Merzenich says that you need to stay in ‘challenge mode’. Just think about the process of getting fit; it takes reps and practice to build muscle, the brain is no different. To develop skill in a specific area, understand that it’s not your brain that’s stopping you from doing just that, it’s your mindset. 
 
3. Consistently choose challenging tasks rather than safe ones: Overcome your fear of failure or looking stupid, ignore any self-doubt you have, and focus your time and energy on those tasks you perceive to be more difficult than others on your to do list. When you do, try to interpret and tackle these from a mindset of growth. Yes, you might fail. But in the process, you’ll learn something about yourself that you wouldn’t have done otherwise – including what you can do next time to ensure you do better in the future. With a shift in mindset and practising adopting this mindset, you can quickly expand your skills as you’re starting to approach every new challenge with enthusiasm and confidence, instead of with avoidance and fear.
 
4. If you think someone is better than you, don’t see them as a threat: Instead, change the way you think to consider how you can learn from them. This person you perceive to be threatening or intimidating might have technical expertise that would help you to make a breakthrough on one of your projects that’s been on standstill – or maybe they just have a certain way of doing things, of obtaining answers to a problem that you had never thought of before. Start to shift your thinking to realise that everyone you encounter is an opportunity to learn something or see things from a different perspective - that’s not something to feel threatened by, that’s something to embrace.
 
5. Understand that you’re not going to master a new skill overnight: Remember we’re never as good as we possibly can be at a given skill as soon as we start practising it – instead, it takes work and time to master. So, whenever you take on a new challenge or embark on learning a new skill, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Instead, understand that you will encounter struggles at the beginning. Pick something that you can’t do at the moment – that one thing that you’ve always had some kind of mental block about. Spend time practising it. Don’t worry about not being good at it straight away, or about someone else being better. Just focus on your own learning journey, starting small and building your skills bit by bit from there. Over time, you’ll start to see progress – this will reinforce your inclination and confidence when it comes to learning, meaning you’re far more likely to continue on that journey, rather than bailing out at the first hurdle.
 
6. Make a conscious effort to dedicate time and effort (and don’t give up): Just think of all the skills you could have under your belt, that your fixed mindset is stopping you from developing – those things that could have won you that promotion earlier or are so crucial to growing your company. Don’t make the excuse that you “don’t have enough time”, to develop them, or “that’s someone else’s job”– instead, carve out the time. The highest-achieving people in history appreciated this. Just look at Albert Einstein, who observed that “it’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
 
So, for the sake of your own career success, now is the time to shift your way of thinking, to block those damaging thoughts that circle in your mind, those thoughts that have the potential to rob you of the opportunity to build new skills - skills that could help secure your future employability.
 

擁抱治療師!
What is a professional cuddler and what is touch therapy?
By Holly Gambrell May 18, 2020
 
We spoke with Arlington-based professional cuddler Indigo Dawn to learn more about the therapeutic method and its health benefits.
 
The benefits of physical touch include lowered heart rates and blood pressure, feelings of love and acceptance, reduced symptoms of depression and more. Neuroscientist Edmund Rolls proved that physical touch activates the brain’s orbitofrontal cortex, linked to feelings of reward and compassion. Touch therapy can come in many forms (think: that massage at your favorite spa or holding hands with your partner) and is a surefire way to feel better. One growing trend? Cuddle therapy. Professional cuddlers are paid to cuddle—platonically—if you don’t have a friend available for a snuggle sesh. Here, we spoke with Arlington-based professional cuddler Indigo Dawn to find out more.
 
Describe cuddle therapy.
 
Cuddle therapy fills a niche that is complementary to traditional talk therapy. In the traditional mental health profession, therapists can do a lot of great work but cannot touch clients, and touch is a core human need. It releases oxytocin and it also facilitates the development of authentic connection and the type of secure attachment that some people may have never had in its fullness. It can really provide a base for health and wellness and happiness.
 
How is a typical session formatted?
 
I will have clients sit across from me and talk about the basis of our session, that we are willing to speak up if something’s uncomfortable, just being really honest with each other. Then I will talk about explicit boundaries of the space to reaffirm and create the structure, because without me feeling safe, the type of healing that this service can provide is not possible. I give the client an opportunity to share their personal touch boundaries. I talk about the types of touch that I really love and ask them if they really love them too. I lead a short meditation. Then from there I will open up the space and I’ll ask them, “What do you most want in this moment, knowing you can change your mind because it’s a wide-open space?” Most clients have been envisioning spooning or what’s called the koala-style cuddle, but all sessions look different.
 
What are the main benefits for your clients?
 
I haven’t yet had a session where a client didn’t leave with a little smile on their face, and the tension drops in their jaw and their face around their eyes, their shoulders. Their breathing slows and there’s a visceral relaxation. Many clients will come away with an empowered sense of connection and self-awareness and self-esteem. // Sessions begin at
$100 an hour
 
 

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周五 告訴自己(1/15) 1.成功人 每天告訴自己甚麼? 2.生命命盤圖

 新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

PM7:00   --9:30

成功人 每天告訴自己甚麼?
8 Phrases Successful People Say Every Day (and You Should, Too)
Inc. themuse
 
Accomplishments are based on actions, not on thoughts—yet the thought is always father to the deed.
 
Achievement starts with an idea, a perspective, a point of view, or even just an attitude.
 
Here are some of the things extraordinarily successful people say every day—and how those statements spur them to take actions that lead to greater success:
1. “No one else is willing to do that...so that’s what I will do.”
 
Often, the easiest way to be different is to do what other people are unwilling to do.
 
Pick one thing other people won’t do. It can be simple. It can be small. Doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, do it.
 
Instantly, you’ll be a little different from the rest of the pack.
 
Then keep going. Every day, think of one thing to do that no one else is willing to do.
 
After a week, you’ll be uncommon. After a month, you’ll be special. After a year, you’ll be incredible...and you definitely won’t be like anyone else. (And, in the process, you will develop remarkable mental toughness.)
2. “Wow. That wasn’t so bad after all.”
 
The most paralyzing fear is fear of the unknown. (At least it is for me.)
 
Yet nothing ever turns out to be as hard or as scary as we think. Plus, it’s incredibly exciting to overcome a fear. You get that, “I can’t believe I just did that!” rush, a thrill you may not have experienced for a long time.
 
Every day do something a little scary, whether physically or emotionally. (If you need a quick boost of confidence to get you going, here are some really simple tricks to use.)
 
Then, trust that you will figure out how to overcome any problems that arise.
 
Because you will.
3. “I can’t do everything today...but I can take one small step.”
 
You have plans. You have goals. You have ideas.
 
Who cares? You have nothing until you actually do something.
 
Every day we let hesitation and uncertainty stop us from acting on our ideas. Pick one plan, one goal, or one idea. And get started. Just take one small step.
 
The first step is by far the hardest. Every successive step will be a lot easier.
4. “I should just be quiet.”
 
I used to talk a lot. I thought I was insightful and clever and witty and, well, a real hoot.
 
Occasionally, very occasionally, I might even have been one of those things.
 
Most of the time I was not.
 
Truly confident people don’t feel the need to talk. While I hate when it happens, I still sometimes realize I’m not talking because the other person is interested in what I have to say but because I’m interested in what I have to say. (Ick.)
 
Never speak just to please yourself. When you do, you please no one. (And, unlike these folks, you won’t be particularly likable.)
5. “I don’t care what other people think.”
 
Most of the time, we should worry about what other people think—but not if it stands in the way of living the lives we really want to live.
 
If you really want to start a business—which you can do in just a few hours, mind you—but you’re worried that people might say you’re crazy, do it anyway. Pick one thing you haven’t tried because you’re concerned about what other people think or say, and just go do it.
 
It’s your life. Live it your way.
6. “I’ll show you.”
 
I’m ashamed to admit it, but one of the best ways to motivate me is to insult me—or for me to manufacture a way to feel insulted, regardless of whether I’m actually justified in feeling that way or not.
 
“Justified” is not the point; fueling my motivation to do whatever it takes to prove that person wrong, and, more importantly, achieve what I want to achieve is all that matters.
 
Call it artificial competition or manufactured anger; call it childish and immature; call it creating perceived insults...but it works for me. (Hey, it worked for Michael Jordan.)
 
And it can work for you.
7. “It’s not perfect...and I’m OK with that.”
 
Yes, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Yes, perfection is the only acceptable outcome.
 
Unfortunately, no product or service is ever perfect, and no project or initiative is perfectly planned. Work hard, do great work, and let it go. Your customers will tell you what needs to be improved, and that means you’ll get to make improvements that actually matter to people.
 
You can’t accomplish anything until you let go. Do your best, let go...and then trust that you’ll work hard to overcome any shortcomings.
8. “I should have done better.”
 
We’ve all screwed up. We all have things we could have done better. Words. Actions. Omissions. Failing to step up, step in, or be supportive.
 
Successful people don’t expect to be perfect, but they do think they can always be better.
 
So think back on your day. Think about what went well. Then think about what didn’t go as well as it could have and take ownership. Take responsibility.
 
And promise yourself that tomorrow you will do a lot better.
Q:
What are some motivating words inspired you?
What are the things successful people do to achieve greatness?
What you should do to be successful in life?
 

生命 命盤圖?
Astroscopia - Your Birth Chart   astroscopia
 
Astroscopia Natal Chart reveals everything you need to know about yourself and your destiny:
 
Be able to recognize your ideal partner, decode your romantic behaviors and your sexuality, discover why you attract certain types of people and improve your love life,
 
Identify the mechanisms that control your relationships with your family and friends. Improve your relationships with your loved ones,
 
Shed light on your hidden talents, the occupations you could thrive in, understand the nature of and reasons behind your relationships with colleagues and superiors. Make the most of all of your financial potential,
 
Maintain your well-being. Be aware of the specific illnesses that threaten you and what causes them. Free yourself from their harmful consequences on your health,
 
Understand why you are inclined towards certain vices and how you can get rid of them,
 
Discover the relations of cause and effect between your previous life and your present life. Lift the veil from certain events in your past life, their influence on your current life and the purpose of your birth...
 
What is a birth chart?
(also known as a “natal chart” or “horoscope”)
 
For my part, I call the birth chart “a manual for working on oneself.” Indeed, the birth chart is neither definitive nor immutable. It is merely the sum total of character and destiny predispositions that you have inherited at the time of your birth. On the other hand, you can obtain the same information that your birth chart provides through other means: after long years of being analyzed by a psychologist (provided that you are objective about yourself), with the help of different forms of psychotherapy, or even by practicing one of the wide range of existing spiritual disciplines. However, the method proposed here will allow you to obtain this information immediately, after several mouse clicks, saving both time and money. Since our character creates our destiny, knowing your own character could allow you to change your future in a radical way.
 
Why should you order your birth chart from Astroscopia?
 
Throughout my long experience in astrology, most often I have seen natal charts explaining your way of being and your character. However, practically none of them will explain the reasons for all this. Over the years, I have obtained answers to these questions through my own experience and through studying various spiritual disciplines. Astroscopia is the means by which I can share my knowledge with you. Therefore, Astroscopia’s natal charts explain what lies behind your behavior and the reasons for your reactions. This way, half the work is done. Indeed, the enemy (those shortcomings that bring about a bad destiny) loses its force once it has been discovered and named.
 
Moreover, Astroscopia reveals to you the means by which you will be able to overcome the negative aspects of your character and to transform them into something positive. Indeed, the energy that you possess is neither negative nor positive. What is negative or positive is only the manner in which you use it.
 
Finally, your natal chart reveals your talents as well as the way to realize them on the material level.
Who should not order his or her natal chart from Astroscopia?
 
If what you want is to be flattered and told that you are the most beautiful of all individuals, the most intelligent and the best in the world, that you will live in happiness, love and wealth for the rest of your days, you are knocking at the wrong door. Astroscopia will not put pink-colored shades over your eyes in order to get to your money, and in this case it will be best for you to order your natal chart elsewhere.
 
However, should you have the guts, the solid nerves and no fear of listening to the truth about yourself, you have come to the right place. Astroscopia’s birth chart is a slap on the face that will allow you to get rid of the fantasies that have cradled you so far. In fact, Astroscopia’s birth chart is no different from any good parent. A parent filled with love who knowingly gives you support, who congratulates you, helps you to understand yourself, but also criticizes you whenever it becomes necessary to do so in order to help you turn into a mature and responsible person. Since it is only thus that you will be able to live your life to the fullest.
 
In other words, Astroscopia’s birth chart is the slap on the face you require in order to take a quantum leap in your destiny.
 
I congratulate you in advance for having the courage to accept it.
 
Further, you should know that I do not judge you since I am an imperfect being in quest of perfection just like you.
What is the difference between having direct contact with an astrologer and the birth chart of Astroscopia?
 
Astroscopia’s birth chart will give you a lot of information. However, it cannot be a substitute for a direct contact with a good astrologer. Direct contact produces a series of exchanges between the astrologer’s energy-informational field and the client’s. You can thereby obtain a lot of additional, non-verbal information. Provided, however, that the astrologer has gotten rid of the negative aspects of his or her own personality, that he or she loves people, that he or she is continuously ready to correct his or her view of the world and, above all, that he or she has a higher level of consciousness than the client does.
 
For the time being, at least, I have chosen Astroscopia as the most appropriate form of communicating since there are many of you out there and just one of me.
 
Who can order a birth chart from Astroscopia?
 
Astroscopia is a site to be taken seriously. The birth chart it offers is a genuine product rich in information. This is why a minimum level of experience is required for you to be able to appreciate it properly. I do not recommend ordering your natal chart before you have already turned 18.
Q:
Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
Do you believe that your natal chart relate to you destine?
Do you control your destiny or is it predetermined?
 

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周六(1/9)1.低社交人格 傷身體 2.七項 情商高手特質

   板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉     PM7:30--9:30

低社交人格  傷身體
Poor Social Skills May Be Harmful to Mental and Physical Health
By Alexis Blue, University Communications
 
Those who struggle in social situations may be at greater risk for mental and physical health problems, according to a new study from the University of Arizona.
 
That's because people with poor social skills tend to experience more stress and loneliness, both of which can negatively impact health, said study author Chris Segrin, head of the UA Department of Communication.
 
The study, published in the journal Health Communication, is among the first to link social skills to physical, not just mental, health.
 
"We've known for a long time that social skills are associated with mental health problems like depression and anxiety," Segrin said. "But we've not known definitively that social skills were also predictive of poorer physical health. Two variables — loneliness and stress — appear to be the glue that bind poor social skills to health. People with poor social skills have high levels of stress and loneliness in their lives."
 
The study is based on a survey of a nationally representative sample of 775 people, age 18 to 91, who were asked to respond online to questions designed to measure social skills, stress, loneliness, and mental and physical health.
 
Social skills refer to the communication skills that allow people to interact effectively and appropriately with others. Segrin focused on four specific indicators of social skills: the ability to provide emotional support to others; self-disclosure, or the ability to share personal information with others; negative assertion skills, or the ability to stand up to unreasonable requests from others; and relationship initiation skills, or the ability to introduce yourself to others and get to know them.
 
Study participants who had deficits in those skills reported more stress, more loneliness, and poorer overall mental and physical health, Segrin said.
 
While the negative effects of stress on the body have been known for a long time, loneliness is a more recently recognized health risk factor.
 
"We started realizing about 15 years ago that loneliness is actually a pretty serious risk for health problems. It's as serious of a risk as smoking, obesity or eating a high-fat diet with lack of exercise," Segrin said.
 
Segrin likens the experience of loneliness to the way people feel when they're in a hurry to get out the door and can't find their keys — except the feeling never truly goes away.
 
"When we lose our keys, 99 percent of the time we find them, the stress goes away, we get in the car and it's over," he said. "Lonely people experience that same sort of frantic search — in this case, not for car keys but for meaningful relationships — and they don't have the ability to escape from that stress. They're not finding what they're looking for, and that stress of frantically searching takes a toll on them."
 
The good news, Segrin says, is that social skills have proved to be amenable to intervention.
 
"For people who really want to improve their social skills and work on them, there's therapy, there's counseling and there is social skills training," he said.
 
Unfortunately, however, many people who have poor social skills don't realize it, Segrin said. 
 
"One of the problems with possessing poor social skills is lack of social awareness, so even if they're not getting the date, they're not getting the job, they're getting in arguments with co-workers or their spouse, they don't see themselves as a problem," Segrin said. "They're walking around with this health risk factor and they're not even aware of it."
 
Where Do Social Skills Come From?
 
Social skills are mostly learned over time, beginning in your family of origin and continuing throughout life. Yet, some scientific evidence suggests that certain traits, such as sociability or social anxiousness, may be at least partly hereditary, said Segrin, who has studied social skills for 31 years.
 
While Segrin doesn't address it in his current study, he says that technology, for all its benefits, may be taking a serious toll on social skills, especially in young people.
 
"The use of technology — texting, in particular — is probably one of the biggest impediments for developing social skills in young people today," he said. "Everything is so condensed and parsed out in sound bites, and that's not the way that human beings for thousands of years have communicated. It makes young people more timid when they're face-to-face with others, and they're not sure what to say what to do. There's no social interaction, and I fear that's really hurting young people."
 
Parents can help with their children's social skills —  and, in turn, their health — not only by limiting screen time but also by making sure children are regularly exposed to situations that require in-person social interaction, Segrin said.
 
"It could be a summer camp, a sporting program, a church group — something where they can hang out with peers and just talk and do things together," he said.
 
Future research, Segrin said, should explore how other aspects of social skills might impact health. He also is interested in looking at how social skills impact those struggling with chronic illness.
 
"I want to get the word out about how valuable good communication skills are," Segrin said. "They will not just benefit you in your social life but they'll benefit your physical health."
 

7項情商高手特質
7 Qualities of People with High Emotional Intelligence
Rhett Power success
 
 “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
 
At least that’s what Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, says. Goleman has dedicated his work to finding out what makes people successful. And, his title spoiling the surprise, he says it comes down to their emotional intelligence. That’s what drives a person to excellence.
 
What exactly is emotional intelligence (EI)? Psychology Today says it’s:
 
    The ability to accurately identify your own emotions, as well as those of others
    The ability to utilize emotions and apply them to tasks, like thinking and problem-solving
    The ability to manage emotions, including controlling your own, as well as the ability to cheer up or calm down another person
 
The concept of emotional intelligence has been around since 1990, when Yale psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey presented the concept to the academic world. But Goleman has gone on to study it further—and he found a direct relationship between the EI of a company’s staff and the company’s success:
 
    Employees with a high level of EI have self-awareness that helps them understand co-workers and meet deadlines.
    When people have high EI, they are not bothered by client criticism; they remain focused on outcomes, rather than feeling offended.
    If two job candidates have similar IQs, the one with the higher EI will likely be a better fit for the company.
 
Like Goleman said, no amount of smarts will make up for a lack of the ever-important emotional and social abilities, especially as part of the professional world. Not sure how to recognize this essential trait? Here are seven characteristics of emotionally intelligent people.
1. They’re change agents.
 
People with high EI aren’t afraid of change. They understand that it’s a necessary part of life—and they adapt.
 
2. They’re self-aware.
 
They know what they’re good at and what they still have to learn—weaknesses don’t hold them back. They know what environments are optimal for their work style.
 
    Here’s how to get in touch with the real you.
 
3. They’re empathetic.
 
The hallmark of EI, being able to relate to others, makes them essential in the workplace. With an innate ability to understand what co-workers or clients are going through, they can get through difficult times drama free.
 
4. They’re not perfectionists.
 
While extremely motivated, people with EI know that perfection is impossible. They roll with the punches and learn from mistakes.
 
5. They’re balanced.
 
Their self-awareness means that they naturally know the importance of and how to maintain a healthy professional-personal balance in their lives. They eat well, get plenty of sleep and have interests outside work.
 
6. They’re curious.
 
An inborn sense of wonder and curiosity makes them delightful to be around. They don’t judge; they explore the possibilities. They ask questions and are open to new solutions.
 
7. They’re gracious.
 
People with high EI know every day brings something to be thankful for—and they don’t see the world as “glass half-empty” as a lot of people do. They feel good about their lives and don’t let critics or toxic people affect that.
 
Emotionally intelligent people know how to make work, and the world, a better place. Are you one of them?
 
 

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周五 (1/8) 1.寂寞感 大調查! 2.表達感謝 生命更美好

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寂寞感 大調查!

The Anatomy of Loneliness - Who feels lonely? The results of the world’s largest loneliness study
BBC  By Claudia Hammond, presenter of Radio 4’s All in the Mind
 
55,000 people took part in the BBC’s Loneliness Experiment in collaboration with Wellcome Collection, making it the largest survey of its kind in the world. And now we can reveal the results!
Here are some of the key findings:
1. Young people are the group who feel loneliest
 
There’s often a stereotype that loneliness mainly strikes older, isolated people. And of course it can. But we found higher rates of self-reported loneliness among younger people.
 
40% of 16 to 24-year-olds who took part told us they often or very often feel lonely, compared with 27% of over 75s. We saw higher levels of loneliness in young people across cultures, countries, and genders.
 
This is higher than in other surveys, but because the survey was online we had a self-selecting sample and might have attracted more people who feel lonely.
 
Our survey shows that loneliness can affect people of all ages.
Who feels lonely?
 
Claudia Hammond reveals the results of the 2018 BBC Loneliness Experiment.
2. People who feel discriminated against are more likely to feel lonely
 
We found that if people are made to feel that they are different in a negative way, levels of loneliness are higher. Those who filled in the version of the survey for people who are blind or partially sighted reported slightly more loneliness, particularly if they felt discrimination was high.
3. A third of people often or very often feel lonely
 
While 33% of people who completed the survey told us they often or very often feel lonely, 42% said they rarely or never feel lonely.
 
The people who felt lonely most often also had the most intense and the longest lasting feelings of loneliness. This is a higher overall figure than in some surveys, so maybe we attracted more people who felt lonely.
4. Being alone is not the same as being lonely
 
More than four fifths of people told us they like spending time on their own. And only a third believe that loneliness is about being on your own. However, people who said they were always alone were more likely to say they felt lonely.
 
We also found that people who live alone are only slightly more likely to feel lonely more often. This suggests that living alone isn't as much of a problem as spending lots of time alone.
Why might young people feel so lonely with such intensity?
There are a number of possible reasons why 16 to 24-year-olds reported the highest levels of loneliness in the survey.
 
    They have less experience of regulating their emotions, so everything is felt more intensely
    This might be only the first or second time they’ve felt lonely in their lives and they haven’t had the chance to learn that loneliness often passes
    16-24 is an age when identity is changing. Young people are working out how they relate to others and where they stand in society. That process is naturally isolating to some extent, so feeling lonely during this time may be quite normal
 
Looking back, older people said that young adulthood was the time when they felt loneliest, so perhaps it’s not modern life which is making some people feel lonely. Perhaps this was always the loneliest stage of life.
5. People feel ashamed about feeling lonely
 
More women reported feeling shame about feeling lonely than men. We also found that feelings of shame about loneliness go down with age and yet older people say they are more likely to conceal their loneliness than younger people. But the survey suggests people are in fact sympathetic to those who feel lonely.
6. People who feel lonely score higher on empathy
 
We asked people a series of questions on social empathy - how sorry they would feel for someone who had not been invited to a party or had just split up from their partner. We found that people who feel lonely seemed to have a greater understanding of what it might be like to experience these things.
7. People who feel lonely have on average lower levels of trust in others
 
They also had lower expectations of friendship, so perhaps they feel they have been let down in the past.
8. People who feel lonely have more online-only friends
 
People who report high levels of loneliness don’t use social media any more often than other people, but they use it differently. They have more Facebook friends who they are only friends with online and who don’t overlap with their real-life friends.
9. People who say they often feel lonely report poorer health
 
Because our survey was a snapshot in time we can’t say that loneliness led to poorer health. Perhaps it’s the other way round and poor health is preventing people from going out socialising. But we did find that people who often feel lonely were slightly more likely to smoke, although the number of smokers in the survey was low.
The research was conducted by Prof Pamela Qualter from the University of Manchester, Prof Christina Victor from Brunel University London and Prof Manuela Barreto from the University of Exeter.
What are the solutions to loneliness?
41% of people in our survey said loneliness can sometimes be a positive experience but for many people it’s a feeling they’d like to experience a lot less. So we asked you which solutions have worked for you or others you know in alleviating loneliness and also which are the least helpful suggestions made by other people.
 
People identified dating as the least helpful solution suggested by others. The most popular solution was finding distracting activities or dedicating time to work, study or hobbies. Read about other possible loneliness solutions in our article, Nine ways to feel less lonely, or listen to our podcast mini-series, How You Can Feel Less Lonely?
Q:
Why some people feeling lonely?
Reasons you feel lonely even when you're not alone?
Ways for stop feeling lonely?

表達感謝 生命更美好
Little Things Matter   littlethingsmatter
 
William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said, “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”  If we are honest with ourselves, we all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we have made a difference in someone’s life.
 
If a person takes the time to express their heart-felt appreciation for something we have done, it boosts our spirit, passion, and purpose.  It builds our self-confidence, self-esteem and our entire self-image. It gives us energy and motivation to work harder and do more.
 
Six benefits you can derive by showing your appreciation
 
1. When you give people a sincere compliment, words of encouragement or just a warm smile, you are making their world a better place.  You are making them feel appreciated and valuable.
 
2. When you express your approval or gratitude for something they have done, you will not only enhance their lives, but you will enrich yours as well.  You will feel more fulfilled because you have done something to make someone else’s life better.
 
3. One of the laws of the universe states that what you give you get in return. It costs little or nothing and it almost always follows suit that they will demonstrate their gratitude for what you do.
 
4. When you show an interest in others by noticing the good things they’ve done, they will be drawn to you like a magnet.  It will accelerate the relationship building process and enhance their overall impression of you.
 
5. It will increase your value to the market. When you show your appreciation to others, their respect for you will grow and so will your influence as a leader. In today’s world people have choices. They absolutely prefer to work with people they like and trust and who show an interest in them.
 
6. It’s a free form of currency. People will do more for recognition than they will for money. If you are in a leadership position, remember that people will work harder and do more if they know they will be recognized for their accomplishments.  Show them you care and they will be loyal to you, even if better opportunities come their way.
 
Six Tips to Show Appreciation
 
1. Be genuine about your praise and don’t expect anything in return for being nice.
 
2. Be very specific with your words and use the person’s name whenever possible. This makes it more meaningful. For example, “Bill, thanks for making us feel so welcome when we arrived at the hotel. It was the perfect start to our vacation.”
 
3. Demonstrating eye contact and positive body language goes hand in hand with the words you choose.
 
4. Think of special ways to show your gratitude. For example, buy flowers or do something special for your spouse that you know he or she would love. You don’t have to spend a lot of money for the thank-you to have value.
 
5. Send a hand written thank you card or note of appreciation.  Most people don’t take the time to do this simple act.
 
6. If the praise or appreciation relates to a specific act or circumstance, give it as soon after the event as possible to have the most impact.
 
My challenge to you
 
I want to challenge you to make your expression of appreciation stand out from the crowd. Make sure it is genuine and something that will make an impression. It will require more effort on your part but it will be worth it.
 
While going the extra mile is admirable, don’t forget the simple little things we can do on a daily basis to let people know they are appreciated.  For every handwritten thank you note I write, I probably send 30 emails thanking people for the little things they’ve done for me.  For every gift I buy for my wife, I probably tell her 50 times how much I appreciate all she does for me.
 
Make a list of those people who regularly do things for you, including your co-workers, friends, family members and those who work under your leadership.  When this list is complete, go back over each name and determine how you can express your appreciation for the things they do for you in a way that makes them feel noticed and valued.
 
Let me also encourage you to thank 100% of the people for 100% of the things they do to make your life better, even if it’s part of their job description.  Whether it’s the hostess who seats you in a restaurant, a grocery clerk who scans and bags your groceries, a hotel bellman or a co-worker, everyone deserves to be thanked.  Begin to adopt an attitude of gratitude!
 
“Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.” -Author Robert Cavett
 
Q:
What are the benefits of showing appreciation
Why should we be appreciative?
What is the good deed that you have done recently?
 
 

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周六(1/2)1.為何人際網絡重要? 2.增強社交能力

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為何人際網絡重要?

Here’s Why Networking Is Important to Your Success
Amanda Augustine   topresume
 
Do you dread networking? Here's why it's time to change your perspective.
 
We get it — networking isn't at the top of everyone's to-do list. It can be time-consuming, downright awkward on occasion, and — depending on your personality — incredibly draining. When your calendar is already overcrowded with work appointments and family commitments, the last thing you want to do is make small talk with strangers at yet another cocktail party.
 
However, there's no denying the power a strong professional network can have over your career success. When it's done well, networking will not only help you land a job faster, but it will give you a competitive edge throughout every stage of your career. Here's why networking is important to your success, and what you can do to improve your networking skills throughout the course of your career development.
What is networking?
 
Networking isn't merely the exchange of information with others — and it's certainly not about begging for favors. Networking is about establishing and nurturing long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with the people you meet, whether you're waiting to order your morning coffee, participating in an intramural sports league, or attending a work conference. You don't have to join several professional associations and attend every networking event that comes your way in order to be a successful networker. In fact, if you take your eyes off your smartphone when you're out in public, you'll see that networking opportunities are all around you every day.
Why networking is important to your success
 
Experts agree that the most connected people are often the most successful. When you invest in your relationships — professional and personal — it can pay you back in dividends throughout the course of your career. Networking will help you develop and improve your skill set, stay on top of the latest trends in your industry, keep a pulse on the job market, meet prospective mentors, partners, and clients, and gain access to the necessary resources that will foster your career development.
The importance of networking for career development
 
Career development, in its simplest terms, is the lifelong evolution of your career. It's influenced by a number of things that include the jobs you hold, the experiences you gain in and out of the office, the success you achieve at each stage of your career, the formal and informal education and training you receive, and the feedback you're provided with along the way.
 
Ideally, organizations would place more emphasis on employee development in the workplace. However, the reality is that we live in what Carter Cast, author of the book, “The Right (and Wrong) Stuff: How Brilliant Careers Are Made,” refers to as “the era of do-it-yourself career development.”
 
Cast explains that in today's workforce, the burden is on you to take control of your career development. Hence the importance of networking for career development: As you network with people at your company, in your industry, and even outside your field of interest, you'll uncover opportunities to connect with different types of mentors and advisors, increase your visibility with senior management, further develop your areas of expertise, and improve your soft skills.
 
The importance of networking in the workplace
 
You may assume that networking is an activity reserved for your time out of the office and off the clock, but nothing could be further from the truth. While there is much value in connecting with people who work at other companies or in different fields, don't discount the importance of networking in the workplace. Whether you're new to the company and want to get the lay of the land or you're already established and have your sights set on a promotion, networking with your co-workers can be incredibly beneficial to your career progression.
 
As you develop relationships with those in your department and in other divisions, be on the lookout for potential mentors, upcoming professional development opportunities, or new job opportunities that are not publicly advertised. Click on the following link for tips to help you effectively network in the workplace.
The importance of networking in the job search
 
It goes without saying that networking is incredibly important during a job search. Your chances of landing the job increase tenfold with the right employee referral. And, if you're looking to make a career change, your professional network can support you by helping you find connections in the industry you are trying to break into or helping you find leads for jobs at specific companies.
 
Take the time to build meaningful relationships with those in your professional circle, so when the time comes to search for work, you can tap into those valuable connections for referrals, insights into job leads, and other valuable information.
 
How to become an effective networker
 
The importance of networking cannot be overstated. But how can you improve your networking skills to ensure you're networking efficiently and effectively? These networking tips will help.
Figure out what networking style works best for you.
 
There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to networking. Different people are successful using different networking tactics. The key is to try out a number of different networking strategies to discover what best suits you. For instance, if you're an introvert, you may prefer to network one-on-one over coffee or to attend more intimate events with fewer attendees. Once you've discovered your ideal networking style, consider where you can go to meet the right people who can help you achieve your current career-development goals.

增強社交能力
How to Improve Social Skills     wikihow
 
Good social skills are an important part of building rich friendships, enjoying yourself in public, and succeeding in your career. If you consider yourself an introvert, it can be hard to engage in conversation with people you don’t know. Luckily, the more you practice being social, the easier it will become.
Enhancing Verbal Communication
 
    1
    Be aware of the volume and tone of your voice. Don’t speak too softly or too loudly either. Speak at a volume that can be heard easily, and suggests confidence but never shows aggression.
        Remember to adjust the volume of your voice to suit the surrounding environment.
        If possible, speak at the same volume and tone as people in your immediate environment.
        If you find that you speak quickly because you're nervous or anxious, try speaking at about a third of your normal speed. This trick is called slow talk, and it not only helps you speak clearly, it can also help you feel calmer.
 
    2
    Learn the right manner in which to initiate a conversation. You can begin by saying something that is generally or universally true, rather than overly personal because that might seem to be insulting or offensive to some. Comment on the weather, or maybe some current event you heard about in the news recently. You could compliment someone on what they are wearing or the way they have done their hair.[2] Small talk is not always easy though; since it can often be difficult to think of exactly what to say. Here a few examples:
        "That's a nice hat, where did you buy it"?
        "What's with this crazy weather?"
        "I just love the view from here."
        "Isn't Professor James' class fascinating?"
 
    3
    Find ways to extend conversations. After speaking about general issues such as current events, try bringing up more intimate or a more relatable topic. Asking questions that delve a little deeper below the surface. For example, asking polite questions about their family, employment, or hobbies can lengthen a conversation and make it more meaningful. Remember that a conversation takes two people, so avoid speaking too little or vice versa. Try as much as possible to ask open-ended questions; in other words, start with a "How," a "Why," or a "What," instead of those questions to which there can only be a plain and simple "Yes" or "No" answer. That doesn't encourage the person you're speaking to speak more. Here are some ways to lengthen conversations and give them depth:
        "So, what you do for a living?"
        "Tell me a little more about your family?"
        "How do you know the host of the party?"
        "How long have you been attending / been a member of weight watchers?"
        "What are your plans for the weekend?"
 
    4
    Steer clear of inflammatory topics. When interacting with a person you don't know all too well, there are some subjects you should steer clear of. In general, these would include controversial subjects like religion, politics, or the persons ethnicity/race etc. For instance:
        While it appears appropriate to ask someone a question about an upcoming election, it might be offensive to ask someone who they plan to vote for.
        While it seems okay to ask someone about their religious affiliation generally, it might be a bad idea to ask just about anyone about the church's views on sexuality.
 
    5
    End conversations courteously. Instead of abruptly cutting them off and walking away, try to be polite about it. Tell them in a sweet, non-offensive way that that you have to take their leave, and give them the impression that you enjoyed the interaction.[3] Try concluding with positive statements such as:
        “I've got to run, but I hope we meet again soon.”
        "Well, I have a bank appointment, but it's been fun chatting with you."
        "I can see that you're busy, so I'll let you go. It was nice talking to you."
1
    Pay attention to your body language. Our gestures often communicate messages more powerfully than words.[4] Remember that body language plays an important role in social interactions. Be wary and take time to reflect on messages you give others through your posture, eye contact, and facial expressions.
        If you are avoiding eye contact, standing far away, or crossing your arms, you are likely telling others that you don't want to interact.
        Adopt a confident pose, and smile a bit more, Make frequent eye contact with people you are talking to; stand tall and unfold your arms. This way you are certainly more likely to create a good impression on people you speak to.
 
    2
    Observe how other people behave in social situations. Watch their body language closely and consider why they are better at interacting with others socially. Observe their posture, their gestures, their facial expressions, and how often they make eye contact. Consider how you might replicate or improve upon your own body language while talking to people.
        Determine 'how well' the people you're observing know each other. This is important because the body language shared among close friends who are talking differs completely from that displayed by two complete strangers even in an ordinary setting.
        Mentally take notes about what you see and observe. This will both guide and help you to become more aware of your own body language. Try not to focus too much on yourself and making adjustments in the moments, though. Focus on the people with whom you're interacting and practice new skills with yourself or a close friend later.
 
    3
    Improve your non-verbal communication skills at home. Home is often the best place to start learning something new because you won't be as inhibited in a familiar setting. You could try making a video of yourself in conversation with your family members, and then consider how you can improve your body language. You could also practice non-verbal gesturing in front of a mirror. Enlist the help of family members you are close to, or even close friends- this is another effective approach, as they can give you honest useful feedback that no one else would. Some other tips include 'pulling back' your shoulders, keeping your spine straight, and your chin up, parallel to the floor.
   
    4
    Reflect on how it went. If the encounter went on well, take note what you did right and do try to repeat this in the future. If things went poorly, mentally assess the situation to determine what exactly you did that wasn't all that impressive.
        Did you approach someone who appeared to be busy with something or who was displaying closed body language?
        Was your own body language open and inviting?
        Did you start the conversation with an appropriate topic?
 
    5
    Talk to more people. Your social skills will improve with practice. The more you communicate and interact with people, you will get better at it.
        Try not to let negative social interactions get you down. Oftentimes such encounters are not your fault. Remember that there will often be setbacks as you work toward improvement. Learn from the situation, and go forward armed with new knowledge.
 
    6
    Join a support group. This is usually a safe, comfortable environment where learning to speak to people can be easier. You are not the only one there who wants to work on their speaking skills. Why not practice with others who are in the same boat? The very fact that you want to improve your social skills shows that you are an open, kind person who is willing to work on themselves. Surround yourself with people with similar goals to help you grow.
 
 

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