週六(7/19)1.為什麼喜歡漂亮事物? 2.失戀療癒

周六聚會地點: 快提café  7:00PM-- 9:30PM新北市板橋區文化路一段387巷10號 (沿著新埔捷運站1號出口左方向前走約100公尺 經過新埔郵局看到康是美 從信義房屋旁的巷子進入)    連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy
說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
只要您有熱誠  說一口流利英文不是問題

別忘了  7/19  pot luck 周年聚餐 中午11:00-2:30 參加者請至少帶一份食物分享 多多益善 
地點: 湯城  露易沙咖啡 重新路 609巷2-1號 捷運先薔宮一號出口
趕快! 報名周年聚餐活動  座位有限  歡迎每一位好朋友

為什麼喜歡漂亮事物?

The Attraction of Beauty

 We are attracted to beautiful people and things. We gravitate to what is aesthetically pleasing. This effect is often so strong that it colours our general perceptions and thoughts about beautiful people (and products). In other words, we come to believe that beautiful things are "better" on a number of non-physical levels as well - including quality, morality, intelligence, etc.

Our general tendency to decide "what is beautiful is good" was first systematically studied by Dion, Berscheid, and Walster in 1972. The researchers asked both male and female college students to look at pictures of men and women who were either good-looking, average, or below-average. The students were then asked to give their impression of the individuals' personalities from the photos.

Students' responses to Dion and associates indicated that the good-looking photographed individuals were indeed seen as more attractive. In addition, beautiful people were judged by the students to have more socially desirable personalities. They were also assumed to have better jobs and be better relationship partners. Later meta-analysis by Feingold (1992) supports these findings as well. Across numerous studies, he found that good-looking people were seen as more sociable, dominant, sexually warm, mentally healthy, intelligent, and socially skilled. (lawsofattraction.com)

失戀療癒

10 steps to heal a broken heart

• ACCEPT THE PAIN

Accept that you will have to go through some pain. It is an unavoidable truth that if you loved enough to be heartbroken, you have to experience some suffering.

When you lose something that mattered to you, it is natural and important to feel sad about it: that feeling is an essential part of the healing process.

The problem with broken-hearted people is that they seem to be reliving their misery over and over again. If you cannot seem to break the cycle of painful memories, the chances are that you are locked into repeating dysfunctional patterns of behaviour. Your pain has become a mental habit. This habit can, and must, be broken.

This is not to belittle the strength of your feelings or the importance of the habits you've built up during your relationship. Without habit, none of us would function. But there comes a time when the pain becomes unhealthy.

When you enter your bedroom at night, you switch on the light without thinking. If you obsess about your ex, and feel unhappy all the time, it's likely that your unconscious mind is 'switching on' your emotions in exactly the same way.

Without realising it, you have programmed yourself to feel a pang of grief every time you hear that tune you danced to, or see your ex's empty chair across the kitchen table.

• CHANGE YOUR HABITS

Now you have to break those connections. Turn off the music that reminds you of your ex. Make your home look and feel different from when your loved one was around. Move the furniture.

Take up a new activity. And keep moving: exercise is the single most effective therapy for depression.

The point of these changes is to break up the old associations and give yourself a new environment for your new life. The changes you make don't have to be permanent. Even if it is just using a different shampoo and deleting your ex's number from the memory of your mobile, change something. Now.

• CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS

The next step is to do the same thing on the inside - transform your habits of thought. In a relationship, we build up a huge array of such habits. When the love affair ends, these patterns can still be running.

To change your thinking habits, you need to understand a little more about them.

Have you ever witnessed the same event as someone else, and later found out their account of it was completely different from yours? Each of you saw the event through a 'frame', made up of your personal beliefs, feelings and internal habits.

If you are finding it devastatingly difficult to handle the end of your relationship, you may need to change this 'frame'. You will need to reframe your heartbreak. Stop seeing it as the end of your happiness. Instead, turn it into a challenge; view it as an opportunity.

 Being heartbroken can make you feel worthless and hopeless - but that is because the frame you are using is too narrow. Learning to see your situation with a different frame is a wonderful liberation.

• VIEW YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE OUTSIDE

The following exercise will help you look at your circumstances from different points of view, so you gain helpful insights.

1. Think about the break-up of your relationship. What are the judgments or generalisations you have made about yourself and your ex?

2. Now think of someone you admire - a character from history or a real friend. Imagine they are watching a movie of this part of your life, and step into their shoes to watch it instead. Imagine what their comments would be.

3. Now imagine that a neutral observer is watching the movie of your life. Step into their shoes and watch it from there.

4. Notice the differences that you see from each point of view. Which ones are helpful? Which ones make you feel better? Use these perspectives to view your relationship in a new light.

People who get over difficulties well rarely see what has happened to them as a disaster. They frame it as a challenge. It is a matter of a point of view. It is not what happens to us, but how we interpret it that determines the outcome for us.

Part1. Questions:

Why are people attracted to beautiful things?

Why we love beautiful things

Why do people love attractive people so much?

Is being beautiful a good social skill?

Why men are sexually attracted to beautiful women?

The pros and cons of being an attractive woman/men?

What is your own standard for beauty?

'What does the perfect face look like?

How to be more attractive to men/women?

Men prefer to marry less attractive women or attractive women?

Part2. Questions:

Steps to heal a broken heart?

What to do when your girlfriend/boyfriend dumps you?

How do you gain back your ex-girlfriend /ex-boyfriend if she left you?

Do you want your girlfriend /boyfriend back after she dumped you?

What do you do when your girlfriend /boyfriend cheats on you?

What to do when you feel sad and lonely?

How do you find a new girlfriend/boyfriend?

How to help a friend with a broken heart?