可以選我們的性向嗎?
Can you choose your sexuality? Cynthia Nixon and her partner Christine Mariononi.
Is sexual orientation written in our genes? Or is it something that can change over time, whether by whim, circumstance or sheer force of will?
It’s a difficult question to ask, let alone to answer, flying in the face of everything we think we know about sexuality, from the influence of prenatal hormones to Lady Gaga’s self-love anthem ‘Born This Way’. Former Sex & The City actress Cynthia Nixon discovered just how controversial it was, when in a January interview with the New York Times Magazine, she placed her own evolution from long-term straight woman to happily engaged gay woman firmly on the “choice” end of the spectrum.
“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line, ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better,’” Nixon recalled. “They tried to get me to change it, because they said it implied that homosexuality can be a choice.”
But for her, she said, it was a choice. “I understand that for many it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”
The backlash was immediate. Nixon was able to “choose” whether she wanted to date men or women for one simple reason – she was bisexual, argued blogger and gay activist John Aravosis. “So please don’t tell people that you are gay, and that gay people can ‘choose’ their sexual orientation, i.e., will it out of nowhere,” he wrote. “Because they can’t.”
Aravosis is right. You only need to look at the testimonies on the Born This Way blog, in which gay adults post childhood pictures and stories reflecting on their LGBTQ beginnings, or listen to a gay teenager talk about their attempts to bargain with themselves over their desires (“if I think of a boy three times, then I will let myself think of a girl”), to know that for many people, their sexuality is not a choice. One of the reasons the “born this way” narrative is so powerful is because it resonates.
Q:
Can you choose your sexuality?
Is sexual orientation written in our genes? Or is it something that can change over time?
Can straight or homosexuality be a choice?
What to do If my boyfriend a gay??
How do I know if I have gay tendencies?
Are Taiwanese more tolerant of homosexual groups?
Do you support gay people? Do you support same-sex marriage?
發掘自己的寶藏
How to Find a Talent wikihow
Stop waiting for talents to appear. You can’t know if you’ve got a talent for guitar if you never try to play guitar. Ditto didgeridoo, knitting, badminton, and Tuvan throat singing. Find a talent that seems cool and learn everything you can about it. Find out what it takes and see what you've got. if you never try, you'll never know. You’re not going to find a talent without trying. You can only find your natural abilities, skills, and talents when you test your mettle and actively seek new experiences. Face down obstacles and seek out challenges to see what innate skills and abilities you might be hiding.
Make it your goal to try something new every week. You might not discover something that you're super-talented at, but maybe you pick up a guitar one day and find out it feels comfortable in your hands and decide to learn more. Maybe you discover an ability to connect with animals at the shelter, something you'd never experienced before. Maybe you learn you're an ace at the Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine at the laundromat. That's the start of talent.
Get outside and scrape your knees. Go on adventures and experience the world in its natural habitat. Try out different sports, outdoor hobbies like fishing, hiking, and climbing to see if you've got an untapped natural ability or an instinct for it.
Pay attention to what other people might have noted about you. It’s common that others might have a keener sense of what you're good at than you will yourself. Ask your family, your friends, and your teachers to help you figure out what you make look easy.
Follow your obsessions. What are other people tired of hearing you talk about? What do you have to drag yourself away from? Use the things you're obsessed with to discover abilities and talents that might be hiding under the surface.
Even if you’re obsessed with something that’s hard to connect to a talent, like watching television or movies, give yourself some credit. Maybe you have a talent for telling stories, or analyzing narratives. Maybe you have a talent for appreciating camera angles. Every film critic gets a start in the exact same way. Channel that obsession into learning about film history and learning how movies are made.
Ignore the television. Shows like “America’s Got Talent” have very narrow definitions of what it means to be talented. If you’re not an attractive young person with a manufactured sob story and a loud, showy singing voice, these shows all lead people to believe they’re untalented. It’s not true. Being talented doesn’t mean being famous, being attractive, or being some kind of performer. It means dedication, creative thinking, and attention to detail. It means you have an insatiable curiosity to develop some innate abilities into skills. You've just got to find them.
Q:
How to find your talents?
What are you good at?
How to try something new every week?
How to form good hobbies?
What do you think TV talent shows?
How to cultivate new abilities and skills?
