陽光甜味咖啡館 Sun Sweet Cafe
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勇敢夢!
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愛自己!
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週二(12/1)1.善的循環 2.日本「0葬」觀
凌晨12:17
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板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
善的循環
(把愛傳下去)
Paying it forward is a third-party beneficiary concept that involves doing something good for someone in response to a good deed done on your behalf or a gift you received. When you pay it forward, however, you don't repay the person who did something nice for you. Instead, you do something nice for someone else. For example, if someone changes your tire while you are stranded on the highway, you might shovel your elderly neighbor's walkway after a snow has fallen.
The concept was popularized in modern times by a 2000 movie Pay It Forward, starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt. In this movie, a young boy, played by Haley Joel Osment, is given a school assignment that requires him to find some way to change the world. He develops the pay it forward concept, setting forth a chain reaction of good deeds.
One of the most important things that people should remember about this concept is that it should be done with a selfless spirit. This means that one person helps another without hoping for repayment or good deeds in return. In fact, there are some organizations that allow people to pay it forward anonymously, donating money or performing good deeds without hoping for recognition. As far as the receiver of the money, gift, or good deed is concerned, he or she is told only to do something good for someone else.
The concept has a firm foundation in history. Ben Franklin described it in a letter he wrote to Benjamin Webb in 1784, in which he wrote about his intention to help Webb by lending him some money. He did not want to be repaid directly, however. Instead, Franklin hoped that Webb would at some point meet an honest man in need of financial help and pass the money along to him.
Paying it forward doesn't have to mean giving a large some of money or expending a lot of effort. It could be as simple as holding the door for someone laden with bags or giving up a place in line to someone who appears in a rush. It could even mean spending a little cash on coffee for the person behind you in line at a coffee house. For those who have money they can afford to give, there are always people in need, but even the smallest, free gestures can make a difference.
Q:
What do you think the concept that “Paying it forward”?
Are You Willing to Help? How to do good deeds?
Are you willing to help strangers? How far would you go to help a stranger?
How to make the world a friendlier place?
Have you ever done something nice for others?
Have you ever done something Evil?
What are the benefits of helping others?
日本「0葬」觀
More Japanese Choosing Fertilizer as Burial Option
Have you thought about what you would like done with your body after you die?
Of course, it’s uncomfortable to contemplate your own death or the death of a loved one, but we’ve all got to go sometime. In Japan, the vast majority of people are cremated and their ashes interred at a family grave. While this is certainly more space-efficient than the Western practice of burying the casket, room in the plot does eventually run out. Then the family is faced with the expensive choice of either expanding the existing plot if possible or finding and purchasing a new one. Then there are all kinds of hidden costs, like construction and maintenance fees. It’s a lot to think about.
With these concerns in mind, a new style of internment has been gaining popularity even in traditional Japan. It’s called a forest cemetery.
As the name would suggest, in a forest cemetery you choose a tree instead of a headstone. One of the eight forest cemeteries currently in operation is located within Tokyo’s Kodairareien Cemetery. Magnolias, dogwoods, Japanese maples, summer camellias, and silk trees have been planted on the grounds, with communal burial areas located underneath. Ashes are buried directly in the soil so a person’s body can be quickly welcomed back into the ecosystem. It’s possible to reserve a spot for yourself or a bereaved family can also apply.
There are a lot of traditions in Japan that revolve around visiting grave, so the usual vases for flowers and incense have been placed at each grave site for visitors. Buddhists, Christians and other denominations are buried together without restriction.
This particular forest cemetery began taking reservations for its 500 available spots in July of this year and applications far exceeded their expectations. If you are curious, the interment of remains costs 134,000 yen (about US$1600) and just ashes costs 44,000 yen (about US$500). Unlike most other cemeteries in Japan, there are no ongoing maintenance fees, which may be part of the appeal of this type of burial.
According to their representative, an additional 10,700 slots will go on sale next year, and they also have plans to offer private rather than communal burial plots.
Not everyone is in love with the idea. In a country where many people live in massive apartment buildings, many still want a place of their own to be buried in, so they are highly resistant to the idea of a communal burial plot. But times are changing and the number of people who don’t have a family grave site are increasing. Many people also feel that rather than burying someone in a distant family grave where they might only be able to visit once a year, burying them close to home would be better.
If logistical issues aren’t enough to sway you, think about the atmosphere. Cemeteries are often seen as dim, spooky places, but a forest cemetery sounds like a nice place for a stroll on a sunny day. After all, ending up under softly swaying tree branches and eventually becoming a part of that tree itself doesn’t sound so bad, does it?
Q:
What do you think the concept that "be a tree; the natural burial option”?
What are the other burial options?
Have you thought about what you would like done with your body after you die?
What makes graveyards scary?
Can people predict time of death?
Do good people really go to heaven?
Where do bad people go when they die?
阿沙力地死 日本「0葬」觀
文:容乃加
新鮮文化 , 日本 , 天葬
聽說過「天葬」、「海葬」的人應該不少了,在日本現在興起「樹葬」、「零葬」的「處理死亡」新文化。日本社會面對死後喪事的心態和作法,轉變得越來越快。
「樹葬」是讓人的遺骨骨灰當作樹林的養分,真的回歸自然了。樹葬需要有一片樹林當「樹林墓地」,沒有個別的墳墓。2012年,東京都立小平靈園整備了「樹林墓地」,於2013年度募集遺骨,再以抽籤決定,結果需求將近中簽的10倍。
東京都立小平靈園的「樹林墓地」的作法,是在樹木之間埋入深約2公尺的圓筒作為骨灰筒,但是筒無底,讓骨灰撒進後可以被泥土吸收成為樹木的養分,經年後回歸大地。「樹林墓地」禁止一般人進入,親屬也不能直接到樹下燒香或合掌,因為是共用骨灰筒。有個共用的獻花台,可以獻花。
在東京以外的縣市,也能見到這樣共用「樹林墓地」整建起來了,除了政府之外就是宗教機構參與。這樣的樹葬費用大約13-30萬日幣。
2010年,提倡「不要喪禮」的書籍《不要葬儀》(葬式は、要らない)出版了,而且成為日本的暢銷書。在2014年1月,該書的作者島田裕巳又進一程,推出《0葬--阿莎力地死去》(《0葬――あっさり死ぬ》,阿莎力意指爽快、決斷),倡議「阿沙力的死」,死後一了百了,喪禮、遺骨、墓園等等丈物,一概都拋了,都不要了,死後的遺骸也不要,骨灰交給葬儀社海葬了。《0葬》這本書一樣受到日本社會的青睞,連電視台也不時播放「零葬」、「零死」的採訪專輯節目。
有調查顯示,日本人中,五個就有一個接受「零葬」,才幾年間,「零葬」就已經深入日本人的腦中。經濟壓力帶來轉變是一大因素,人口密集也是一個因素。日本現有人口一億二千六百多萬,65歲以上的人口是14歲以下人口的2倍,超過百歲的人年近6萬人,而年中離世的也多達120萬人,在50年前的日本,年間死者數是70萬人左右。
日本都市人口稠密,火葬場和殯儀館都擁擠,墳地的情況更是緊張,神社墓園的墳墓都是一個挨一個,多餘插牌的空間都難見,以致在日本的喪事代價也很高,一個500萬日幣
也算平常。金錢好像主宰了人的生死,不過從另外一方面來說,它也有積極的意義,讓人進一步去思索、看透生死。
「一了百了」,不正是人死後功名利祿人情盡棄的寫照嗎?那麼,喪禮、遺骨、墓園等等對死後的人有意義嗎?這一生自己能作主的已經結束了,肉體皮囊都歸還了。人間已經有許多瀕死經驗和靈魂離體的真例看到了,這一生肉體死亡了,但是真正的生命、作主的元神還活著,造的業會帶著走,世世償還到完,積的德也會帶著,讓人來世或更多生享福。但是保留遺骨骨灰並不能增進自己未成就的功德,努力積德只能在生前,可能很多人也看到了。
現在有一部分日本人也不是沒錢辦喪事,卻是寧願將現金留給後代或配偶,不想把錢花在葬禮上。其實,後代看父母的喪禮是為了生者的「虛榮」,有這樣想法的大有人在。死,這一生名與利就是一了百了!情還能「留」嗎?!「阿沙力」殺到底吧...
周六(11/28) 1.如何做出關鍵決定?2.你相信奇蹟嗎?
晚上9:30
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板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 PM 7:00-9:30
心電感應幫你--
How Telepathy Can Help You Land a Promotion
- Psychic Lessons
telepathy workplaceMany of us spend most of
our working hours in the workplace. And we want that time to be as pleasant as
possible, right? We want to feel fulfilled, we want to be successful and most
of us want to make more money. So can telepathy help us to climb the corporate
ladder and score that promotion?
I always say, what’s the use in having
telepathic...
週五(11/27)1.瞬間移動的能力2.民眾憂恐攻目標
晚上9:30
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板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
瞬間移動的能力
Superpowers
Super Speed
If you were going too fast the air in front of you would compress and heat up and you would catch fire. Another thing is inertia, once you start running you look behind you for a second and wonder what that gooey substance behind you is, oh that's your innards which were liquified and squished out your pores. And as son as you stop your brain would slam through the front of your skull.
Time Control
I've been thinking about this power for a LONG TIME!
I'm gonna go through almost all of the good things. You can Freeze time and do whatever you want, you pervert. (This should keep you occupied for a couple of months. ) You can, and you will always be right, win arguments, know answer to every question, always hit the ball, always dodge attacks of any sorts, and look like a smart and badass at the Same time! (Now that's cool. You do all this with slow-mo and rewind abilities. )
You can go to your past and be a better person. You can work out, study, do homework, sleep and stay in your room for decades, and never lose time!
Omnipotence
Personally if I were to have omnipotence, I wouldn't know what to do with it. You could create new dimensions, bring people back from the dead, know the future. The options are limitless. For those who think time control is number 1, people with omnipotence would already know what you were going to do. They would only allow you to do it because they wanted to humiliate or confuse you. People with omnipotence wouldn't have a reality, time, or certain power because they control it all. They are basically like Lucy at 100% brain control, except they can create whatever they want without anything. Where as she could only manipulate matter you create more from nothing.
Invisibility
I'm right behind you, invisible, you just can't see me, understand how awesome invisibility is?
This was ruined by science, only you would be invisible, not your clothes or whatever you've eaten recently. And you actually wouldn't be able to see because how we see is light enters our eyes and hits our retina, but when you're invisible light just passes on through you and doesn't hit your retina so you would be blind.
Q:
Do you want to have superpowers?
In your opinion, what is the best super power? Why?
What were you do if you have super speed power?
What were you do if you could make yourself invisible?
What were you do if know what is going to happen in the future?
What were you do if you have time control power?
民眾憂心成為恐攻目標
ROC provides non-military support against IS, says MOFA in clarification The China Post
TAIPEI, Taiwan -- The Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MOFA) yesterday clarified the nation's role in combating IS as one of "humanitarian and emergency aid" following remarks made by U.S. President Barack Obama listing Taiwan as part of the international coalition targeting the terrorist organization.
The U.S. leader made the remarks at a U.S.-ASEAN summit in the Malaysian capital Kuala Lumpur on Sunday, listing the countries supporting action against IS as Australia, Canada, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Singapore, Korea and Taiwan. Noticeably absent from Obama's list was China.
MOFA spokeswoman Eleanor Wang (王珮玲) emphasized the humanitarian nature of Taiwan's contributions to the alliance, adding that the R.O.C.'s financial support had amounted to close to US$10 million. It stressed that none of its aid was in the form of military or combat support. MOFA expressed gratitude toward the U.S. support for Taiwan's international humanitarian efforts.
As the country is barred from ASEAN, MOFA added that its representative offices in the region were collecting as much information as possible on the ASEAN summit with regard to regional security cooperation to combat IS, especially following the deadly terror attacks that killed 130 people in Paris on Nov. 13.
Obama’s mention of Taiwan as an anti-terrorism partner leads some to worry that Taiwan may soon become an ISIL target as the group recently attacked Paris and blew up a Russian jet.
Q:
What do you think about ROC provides non-military support against IS?
What do you think that U.S. President Barack Obama listing Taiwan as an anti- partner?
Do you think that Taiwan may soon become an ISIL target?
How to protect yourself and survive in a terrorist attack?
How to stop terrorists attacks?
這個評論好笑 (網友說:「馬的,給好康的沒有,衝康的才來。」)
民眾憂恐攻 政府:僅人道援助
【綜合報導】激進組織「伊斯蘭國」(Islamic State,IS)13日在法國巴黎發動連環恐怖攻擊後,恐攻威脅籠罩全球。美國總統歐巴馬前天公開點名台灣等亞太盟友是美國在反IS的「夥伴」。此話一出,部分民眾憂心我國成為恐攻目標,外交部則強調,我國與美國的反恐合作主要在人道援助及急難救助,並未參與軍事行動。
歐巴馬(Barack Obama)前天在馬來西亞吉隆坡的東南亞國協峰會後記者會上演說(http://ppt.cc/nbYde ),他說:「在過去幾年來,我們在亞洲的夥伴們都是恐怖主義的受害者,其中很多都是我們在反IS上的親密夥伴。……這些夥伴包括澳洲、加拿大、日本、馬來西亞、紐西蘭、新加坡、南韓和台灣。」
捐組合屋加醫療物資
這次並非美方首度提及台灣與美國站在反恐同一戰線,美國務院去年9月10日曾公布包括台灣等65個對抗IS夥伴名單。但歐巴馬公開點名,相當罕見。
對此,總統府表示,馬總統上周特別召開國安高層會議,要求相關單位啟動反恐應變機制,全面加強安全維護;據了解,昨下午例行國安會議,國安、外交單位也對最新國際情勢提出討論。國防部副參謀總長蒲澤春昨表示,巴黎恐攻後,馬總統已要求國防部反恐部隊加強戒備,特勤部隊已待命。
外交部昨強調,對中東近年受恐怖主義及戰亂波及的難民與貧民,政府持續提供人道援助,包括捐贈組合屋及醫療物資等,捐贈金額近千萬美元(約3億元台幣)。
不具名外交官員透露,我國在國際反恐工作上扮演的都是提供物資和人道救援,因為我國沒能力進行軍事參與,也擔心成為恐攻目標,所以一直很低調。
警配衝鋒槍巡邏機場
國防部高層官員也憂心歐巴馬公開把台灣列為反恐夥伴,台灣可能成為攻擊目標,所以政府除了與美國等密切交換反恐情資,民眾也要強化反恐意識。
法務部調查局局長汪忠一昨表示,調查局對反IS等國際反恐行動,一直持續、低調在做。據悉,軍警調及情治單位與美國聯邦調查局(FBI),不僅情資交換,也會派員赴美接受反恐特訓。
針對恐怖份子可能發動不同類型恐攻,各部會已有因應。負責反重大公共設施恐攻的交通部次長曾大仁說,除有情境預想和擬定計劃,3個月前台北車站曾進行反恐演習;台鐵會依維安和反恐計劃執行;高鐵除聘保全維護列車及車站秩序,也與維安單位密切聯繫。
若台灣遭炭疽、天花等生物恐攻,衛福部疾管署副署長莊人祥說,全台6分區管制中心編制105名應變人員,將穿防護衣執行被污染者全身清洗消毒作業,並送應變醫院收治。
航警局表示,桃園機場和高雄國際航空站已提升反恐工作,針對歐美班機加強安檢與客機清艙作業,航警也都穿上防彈背心、霹靂小組配備烏茲與MP5衝鋒槍加強巡邏。移民署表示,已加強入出境旅客查核,防止特定人士在台犯案。
至於台灣地標台北101大樓,在巴黎恐攻後,巡檢頻率增加一倍,未來貨物及郵件將用金屬探測器探測,不明郵件及包裹直接退回。
無黨籍立委李鴻鈞昨批評,歐巴馬為何不在台灣想加入聯合國等國際組織時點名,卻在這種民眾最忌諱的事點名。國民黨立委林郁方表示,台灣只提供人道救援,民眾不需擔心恐攻。
網罵:好康的都沒有
不少民眾昨直呼:「別相害阿!」網友Pao Chuan說:「馬的,好康的沒有,衝康的才來。」也有網友說:「今年跨年還是別去101好了。」不過民眾傅恆毅支持加入反恐行列,「因為現在幫別國這個忙,以後我們國家遇到危難,別國也會幫我們忙」。
...
週四(11/26)1.線上性騷擾 2. 如何解讀別人的心思
晚上9:16
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板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
線上性騷擾
Understanding Online Sexual Harassment employment.findlaw.com
Harassment does not have to occur in a face-to-face confrontation between two people. Harassing behavior can occur over a telephone line, in writing, and, thanks to modern technology, over the Internet. The following is a primer on online harassment and steps that can be taken to avoid it.
While at work, only use your employer's computer system for appropriate purposes. While you may not be prevented from viewing on-line pornography while at home, your employer can insist that you do not carry that activity into the workplace. If you view pornographic or sexually offensive online sites while at work, or if you download materials from those sites, print off materials from those sites, or allow anyone else to see you viewing it, not only could you face severe disciplinary action, but you could also find yourself the target of a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Note: Improper and unprofessional office Internet use is not limited merely to sexual or pornographic materials. If you use a work computer to access racially harassing materials, religiously harassing materials, or materials that are harassing to any other class or characteristic of individuals you can find yourself in similar hot water.
Offensive e-mails can also be harassing. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission recently sued an employer for, among other things, not taking prompt or remedial action after an employee sent a department-wide e-mail that contained racially offensive jokes about "Ebonics."
What To Do if You are Being Harassed On-Line
Consider installing a filtering system on your computer that automatically screens and discards e-mail messages from identified individuals or subject matters. With this type of technology, you can effectively prevent your computer from "showing you" items sent from particular people or items concerning certain topics or subjects.
In real-time discussion forums, direct your computer to block messages being sent from any other user whom you find offensive or who you feel is harassing you.
If you are being harassed, report the behavior to the host of the website. You may be able to successfully have the harasser banned from that website.
Q:
What to do if you are being harassed on-line?
How to prevent from online sexual harassment?
How to Respond to a Harasser?
How to tell if you are harassed at work?
What are the ways to protect yourself from sexual harassment at work?
How to file a sexual harassment claim?
Do you know your rights at work: workplace sexual harassment?
如何解讀別人的心思
Ways To Read Someone’s Mind Easily By Jesse Herman spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com
Many of us think of reading somebody else’s mind as a sort of control mechanism. If you can figure out their next move, you can manipulate them or anticipate their future actions. In reality, it can be far more practical and personal.
1) Body Language
Body language is another clear indication as to what somebody is thinking. If their forehead is creased they are stressed. How are they sitting or standing; what is their posture?
You can learn a lot about a person’s mental state from their body language, posture, and energy levels.
2) Watch their breath
How are they breathing? If somebody breathes through the base of their spine it means they are relaxed. If ones breathe is shallow, they are tense. If you want to know someone’s mental state, observe their breath.
If their breathing is choppy, they are most likely nervous which means they don’t want you to know something. They may be shy, anxious, or hiding something from you. If someone has a relaxed breath, you know that their mental state is calm which typically means they are being truthful.
3) Read their eyes
The eyes can also be revealing. The pupil is said to be a portal to the mind. Some studies have shown that when one thinks hard, pupils dilate. Interestingly, when the brain is overloaded the pupils will constrict.
Also with pupils, when you first meet someone they widen. If they widen but then constrict, it means they are not really interested in you. If the remain dilated, it means they are excited to be with you.
4) Listen to their tone of voice. Not the words, their tone.
The tone of voice can also tell everything. The speed of somebodies voice. Slow is calm, fast in nervous. The words are not as important as the energy behind them. This does not even need to be explained because you know what a certain tone means. But sometimes we must really tune in and listen to get answers.
Q:
What are the ways to read someone’s mind?
Do you want to read someone's mind?
Is good or bad if you could read someone’s mind?
What are the ways to read body language?
How to tell if someone is being honest?
How to deal with dishonest people?
做生意被騷擾 女店長壓力大
華視
有正妹店長被人騷擾!台北市周姓女店長,在臉書上經營粉絲團、和客人互動增加銷量,卻也引來變態,拍下自己不雅照片傳給女店長,讓她精神緊繃、睡眠受影響,兩年下來、疑似得了廣泛性焦慮症,我們幫忙詢問律師,原來、這已經構成性騷擾,可以截圖搜證報警。
潮牌服飾正妹店長遭變態傳猥褻照片影片騷擾,長達兩年時間,台北市周姓女店長,經營臉書和客人互動增加店內銷售量,卻也跟著引來變態,拍下自己不雅動作,用匿名帳號傳給女店長,造成她精神緊繃睡眠受影響,醫生提醒這樣長期壓力也可能造成廣泛性焦慮症,但為了生意又捨不得刪掉自己的帳號,求助律師說,這已經構成性騷擾,可以截圖搜證報警,因為對方一旦貼在公開平台,就已經觸犯散佈猥褻罪!穿上最新潮牌服飾,年輕活潑的女店長,利用上班時間,和店員拍影片上傳臉書,增加跟客人互動,提升店內業績,但沒想到,這樣影片居然也引來變態。
女店長穿不雅影片,不斷更換LINE的匿名帳號,長達兩年時間,斷斷續續,傳猥褻照片影片,還半夜打電話,騷擾女店長,甚至寫下不堪入目的字眼,女店長精神緊繃睡不好,還怕安全受到威脅,很害怕很怕危害人身安全,醫生長達半年以上會有廣泛性焦慮症,用網路傳遞資訊做生意,卻也暴露個資引來危險,但其實像這樣的猥褻影片,已經構成性騷擾甚至觸犯刑法,律師性騷擾散佈猥褻罪,截圖留下對話紀錄,把猥褻不雅畫面存起來,還要把對方ID帳號記下來,證據蒐集的越多線索才更足夠,告知親友上下班時間,提高警覺不讓變態行為繼續下去。
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週二(11/24)1.一夜情OK嗎? 2.一萬小時定律
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板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
一夜情OK嗎?
Is it OK to have one-night stands? Dr Gabrielle Morrissey bodyandsoul.com
(Q) I'm a single woman and while I'd like a relationship, I don't want to go without sex until I find one. I'm fine with the idea of casual sex, but my friends say one-night stands are "dangerous". How should I be careful?
(A) On many levels, you need to consider safety if you're contemplating having one-night stands. Of course, there is your physical safety to be aware of. Just like many women don't go out on a first date with a stranger without telling at least one person where they are and how they can be contacted, you shouldn't go home with a stranger unless another person knows about it. Safety first, that's paramount.
And you need to be smart about your sexual health. Casual sex isn't so short-lived, if you take home a sexually-transmitted infection. Be proactive with your precautions. Carry condoms and have them in an easily accessible place at home. It says nothing else about you except that you're responsible and realistic.
You also need to safely navigate your mental health. You need to feel this is a positive expression of yourself and not something you'll regret or which may negatively affect your self-esteem, self-worth or identity.
Some people like the idea of casual sex but aren't prepared for how they'll feel afterwards, especially if casual sex actually doesn't fit with their core values.
If you're being spontaneous, don't do it under the influence of alcohol. People don't make sound judgment calls when they're drinking - such as compromising your physical safety or hooking up with someone who is inappropriate - and the chances for regret soar.
In today's world, it may seem like "no strings" casual sex is exactly that. But on at least one level, be it physical, mental, emotional or all of the above, you're being intimate with someone, being naked, showing vulnerability, and so rarely is that truly casual.
So by all means, date, look for a boyfriend, flirt and seduce. But if you go all the way with someone you don't know, make sure you're all ready, all safe and all right, all the time.
Q:
Is it ok to have one-night stands?
What do you think the idea of casual sex?
Is it still a taboo to talk about sex in Taiwan these days?
How to protect yourself when dating?
Why do people have affairs?
What are the signs he's/she’s cheating on you?
How to handle a cheating partner?
How to cope when your spouse is unfaithful?
一萬小時定律
10,000 Hours of Practice
In the book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes roughly ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in a field. How does Gladwell arrive at this conclusion? And, if the conclusion is true, how can we leverage this idea to achieve greatness in our professions?
Violins in Berlin
In the early 1990s, a team of psychologists in Berlin, Germany studied violin students. Specifically, they studied their practice habits in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. All of the subjects were asked this question: “Over the course of your entire career, ever since you first picked up the violin, how many hours have you practiced?”
All of the violinists had begun playing at roughly five years of age with similar practice times. However, at age eight, practice times began to diverge. By age twenty, the elite performers averaged more than 10,000 hours of practice each, while the less able performers had only 4,000 hours of practice.
The elite had more than double the practice hours of the less capable performers.
Natural Talent: Not Important
One fascinating point of the study: No “naturally gifted” performers emerged. If natural talent had played a role, we would expect some of the “naturals” to float to the top of the elite level with fewer practice hours than everyone else. But the data showed otherwise. The psychologists found a direct statistical relationship between hours of practice and achievement. No shortcuts. No naturals.
Falling in Love With Practice
The elite don’t just work harder than everybody else. At some point the elites fall in love with practice to the point where they want to do little else.
The elite football player is the guy who spends all day on the practice field with his teammates, and after practice he goes home to watch game films.
The elites are in love with what they do, and at some point it no longer feels like work.
Q:
What do you think the idea of 10,000 hours of practice?
How to focus on learning? How to be a good learner?
What are the tips to achieve success?
How to become an elite /an expert??
Do you think that natural talent is not important?
What are the ways to enjoy your job?
一夜情
當漫漫的長夜,身邊無人陪伴的時候,心理的孤寂,往往是很過單身女性一夜情的原因。其實對性的需要並不大,只是想找個人陪陪自己,和自己度過漫長的夜。一夜情是對溫暖的嚮往和對孤獨的恐懼的一種填補。
這類女生一般觀念開放,思想先進……充滿對浪漫情懷的渴求。
心底的傷
這是頻繁找一夜情的女生的根源,來自她們心底的傷。最多的就是被男朋友拋棄了,而這個男朋友往往是她們的第一個男人,第一個以為可以託付終生的男人。
所以在和他們分手後,心理受到極大的傷害,不在相信愛,於是開始故意放縱自己,用一夜情來彌補自己心的傷口。
而由於對愛情的失望,加上對自己的放縱的痛恨,這種複雜的感情會導致心理上認為自己是個壞女孩子,更加的放縱自己,所以頻繁的找一夜情。
其實只是一種情感的宣洩,她們利用極端的感覺來釋放心頭的陰鬱,此時的一夜情,對她們只是一種變相的自虐,像一個受傷的野獸,卻不停的在撕開自己的傷口,讓傷口不停的流血。
一時的憤怒
這種女孩往往比較活潑,脾氣比較火暴。往往是在和男朋友的吵架後,故意用一夜情來平息自己的心情。
其實她們的心裡只是想發洩一下,如同小孩子一樣,心裡想的是反正男朋友那麼不在乎我,我要故意氣他。其實她只是想找人關心她,所以往往很容易和一個能安慰她的男生發生一夜情,來尋找那份失落。
可是往往一夜情後,心情平靜下來後,開始悔恨自己做過的事情。往往很多少女就這麼一時氣憤下成了少婦……引用名鹽:男人經常後悔沒有跟某個女人發生關係;女人則後悔跟某個男人發生過關係。
性慾望的追求
食色,性也。隨著觀念的開放,很多女性對自己的慾望更加直接的表達。她們找一夜情就是赤裸裸的性需求的,往往是離異啊,老公長期不在身邊啊……其實女人和男人一樣,對性有著身體的需要,所以她們就在渴望通過一夜情來滿足自己的生理需求。
為了刺激
這類偷情女人數佔有很大比例,男方、女方或者是單位的同事,或是在宴會上、旅途中、大街上或是網絡裡偶然相識,雙方兩情相悅而發生性行為的。
這類偷情者中,大多能夠保持比較浪漫、持久、的關係,也是偷情中比較純潔的一類。
還有一小部分是因為家庭不幸福,丈夫有外遇,或是丈夫性無能從而難於滿足女方的性需求;女方由於長期的性壓抑,一旦遇到合適的人選,就會義無返顧地投入男人的懷抱。
為了金錢
這類偷情女目標很明確,就是為了金錢。她們當中有大量的社會底層女性,如下崗、離異的,她們用「偷情」的方式以肉體換取長期的經濟支撐。也有的偷情女性平時給人的印象很好,在眾人眼裡她們端莊賢惠、知情達理,過著很平凡的日子。
綜上所述,男人要想自己女人不發生偷情的行為,那麼,你就要儘量滿足女人的需求,滿足不了女人金錢上的需求,至少要滿足他情感上、性生活上的需求。
一萬小時定律
一萬小時定律是馬爾科姆·格拉德韋爾的作品《異數》(2009年1月19日)中提出的一條定律,理論為對於量的積累,應用於所有領域、所有學科。一萬小時定律解釋為人們眼中的天才之所以卓越非凡,並非天資超人一等,而是付出了持續不斷的努力;只要經過1萬小時的錘煉,任何人都能從平凡變成超凡;要成為某個領域的專家,需要10000小時,按比例計算就是:如果每天工作八個小時,一周工作五天,那麼成為一個領域的專家至少需要五年。
美國兩位暢銷書作家,丹尼爾·科伊爾的《一萬小時天才理論》與馬爾科姆·格拉德韋爾的一本類似“成功學”的書《異數》,其核心都是“一萬小時定律”,就是不管你做什麼事情,只要堅持一萬小時,基本上都可以成為該領域的專家。
一萬小時定律- 理論依據
英國神經學家DanielLevitin認為,人類腦部確實需要這麼長的時間,去理解和吸收一種知識或者技能,然後才能達到大師級水平。 頂尖的運動員、音樂家、棋手,需要花一萬小時,才能讓一項技藝至臻完美。
一萬個小時是怎麼算出來的?
格拉德韋爾一直致力於把心理學實驗、社會學研究,對古典音樂家、冰球運動員的統計調查改造成流暢、好懂的文字。 在調查的基礎上,他總結出了“一萬小時定律”,他的研究顯示,在任何領域取得成功的關鍵跟天分無關,只是練習的問題,需要練習1萬小時——10年內,每週練習20小時,大概每天3小時。
每天3小時的練習只是個平均數,在實際練習過程中,花費的時間可能不同。 上世紀90年代初,瑞典心理學家安德斯·埃里克森在柏林音樂學院也做過調查,學小提琴的都大約從5歲開始練習,起初每個人都是每週練習兩三個小時,但從8歲起,那些最優秀的學生練習時間最長,9歲時每週6小時,12歲8小時,14歲時16小時,直到20歲時每週30多小時,共1萬小時。
“一萬小時法則”在成功者身上很容易得到驗證。 作為電腦天才,比爾·蓋茨13歲時有機會接觸到世界上最早的一批電腦終端機,開始學習計算機編程,7年後他創建微軟公司時,他已經連續練習了7年的程序設計,超過了1萬小時。
為什麼是一萬個小時?
“一萬小時法則”的關鍵在於,一萬小時是最底限,而且沒有例外之人。 沒有人僅用3000小時就能達到世界級水準;7500小時也不行;一定要10000小時——10年,每天3小時——無論你是誰。
這等於是在告訴大家,一萬小時的練習,是走向成功的必經之路。
音樂神童莫扎特,在6歲生日之前,他音樂家的父親已經指導他練習了3500個小時。 到他21歲寫出最膾炙人口的第九號協奏曲時,可想而知他已經練習了多少小時。 象棋神童鮑比·菲舍爾,17歲就奇蹟般奠定了大師地位,但在這之前他也投入了10年時間的艱苦訓練。
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