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How Birth Order Affects Personality Dr. Gail Gross
The Firstborn Child: The Achiever
The eldest child will probably have more in common with other firstborns than their own brothers and sisters. Because they have had so much control and attention from their first-time parents, they are over-responsible, reliable, well-behaved, careful and smaller versions of their own parents.
If you are a firstborn, you are probably a high achiever who seeks approval, dominates and is that perfectionist who uses up all of the oxygen in the room. You can be found in a leadership career such as law, medicine or as a CEO. As a mini-parent, you try to dominate your sibs.
The Middle Child: The Peacemaker
If you are a middle child, you are probably understanding, cooperative and flexible, yet competitive. You are concerned with fairness. In fact, as a middle child, you are likely to pick an intimate circle of friends to represent your extended family. It is here that you will find the attention likely lacking in your family of origin. As a middle child, you receive the least amount of attention from family and as a result, this family of your choice is your compensation. As a middle child, you’re in very good company with notable U.S. Presidents and celebrities such as Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Steve Forbes. Though often a late bloomer, you find yourself in power careers that allows you to use your negotiating skills... and get that all too-needed attention.
The Youngest Child: The Life of the Party
If you’re the baby, your parents are already confident in their role as caregiver, and therefore are more lenient and don’t necessarily pay attention to your every move or milestone as they did with your older siblings. Thus, you’ve learned how to seduce the crowd with charm and likability.
As the youngest child, you have more freedom than the other siblings and, in a sense, are more independent. As the youngest child, you also have a lot in common with your oldest sibling, as both of you have been made to feel special and entitled.
It probably won’t surprise you to note that youngest children often find careers in the entertainment business as actors, comedians, writers, directors and so on. They also make good doctors and teachers. Because your parents were more laid back and lenient, you expect freedom to follow your own path in a creative style.
The Lone Wolf: The Only Child
If you’re an only child, you grow up surrounded by adults, and therefore are more verbal and often more mature. This allows for gains in intelligence that exceed other birth order differences. Having spent so much time alone, you are resourceful, creative and confident in your independence. If you’re an only child, you actually have a lot in common with those who are first borns, as well as those who are the youngest in their families.
Q:
Do you believe that birth order affects personality?
What are your opinion about birth order differences?
How birth order affects personality?
What do you think that “the firstborn child are probably a high achiever?
What do you think that “the middle child: the peacemaker”?
What are your opinion about youngest children often find careers in the entertainment business?
What are the other factors affect personality?
EI: Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others. According to Talent Smart, 90% of high performers at the work place possess high EQ, while 80% of low performers have low EQ. Emotional Intelligence is absolutely essential in the formation, development, maintenance, and enhancement of close personal relationships. Unlike IQ, which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our EQ can evolve and increase with our desire to learn and grow.
1. The Ability to Reduce Negative Emotions
Perhaps no aspect of EQ is more important than our ability to effectively manage our own negative emotions, so they don't overwhelm us and affect our judgment. In order to change the way we feel about a situation, we must first change the way we think about it. Here are just two examples:
Reducing Negative Personalization. When you feel adversely about someone’s behavior, avoid jumping to a negative conclusion right away. Instead, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. For example, I may be tempted to think my friend didn’t return my call because she’s ignoring me, or I can consider the possibility that she’s been very busy. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive their expressions more objectively. People do what they do because of them more than because of us. Widening our perspective can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding.
2. The Ability to Stay Cool and Manage Stress
Most of us experience some level of stress in life. How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. Here are two quick tips:
A. If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. Cool temperature can help reduce our anxiety level. Avoid caffeinated beverages which can stimulate your nervousness).
B. If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself. The way we use our body affects greatly the way we feel. As the saying goes - motion dictates emotion. As you experience the vitality of your body, your confidence will also grow.
3. The Ability to Stay Proactive, Not Reactive in the Face of a Difficult Person
Most of us encounter unreasonable people in our lives. We may be “stuck” with a difficult individual at work or at home. It’s easy to let a challenging person affect us and ruin our day. What are some of the keys to staying proactive in such situations? Here are three quick tips:
When you feel angry and upset with someone, before you say something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. In most circumstances, by the time you reach ten, you would have figured out a better way of communicating the issue, so that you can reduce, instead of complicate the problem. If you're still upset after counting to ten, take a time out if possible, and revisit the issue after you calm down.
Q:
How to increase your emotional intelligence?
How to reduce negative emotions?
How to Control Your Temper Before You Lose It?
How to deal with a difficult person?
How to the ability to stay cool and manage stress?
IQ or EQ: which one is more important?
How emotion and mood influence behavior?
