板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間下午3:30pm--6:00pm
(本次聚會 免費茶飲提供)
此次聚會 讓我們來討論 "讚賞和鼓勵"
英文文章 在下方"讚賞和鼓勵"
天底下只有一種方法可以促使人去做所有的事。你有想過這個問題嗎？是的，只有一個方法。只有這個方法可以讓人願意去做所有的事。什麼方法呢？切記，要你做事的唯一方法，就是把你想的東西給你。按照佛洛依德的說法，我們做事的動機不外有二：性衝動和渴望偉大。美國哲學家約翰‧杜威(John Dewey)類用另一種說法。他說，人類本質裡最深遠的驅策力就是「希望具有重要性」。人總是想要自己被受重視，被感到存在的價值的。
美國1920年代，查理‧夏布是全美少數年收入超過百萬的商人。一1912年時，安德魯‧卡內基獨具慧眼，任用夏布為新成立的「美國鋼鐵公司」第一任總裁時，夏布才三十八歲。為什麼安德魯‧卡內基每年要花一百萬聘請夏布先生呢？這幾乎是等於每天支付三千多元。難道夏布先生是個了不起的天才？還是夏布先生對鋼鐵生產比別人懂得多？都不是。夏布先生說，為他工作的許多人，他們對鋼鐵製造其實都懂得比他多。
夏布之所以獲得高薪，主要是因為能夠處理人事、管理人事。他說：「我想，我天生具有引發人們熱忱的能力。促使人將自身能力發揮至極限的最好辦法，就是讚賞和鼓勵。來自長輩或上司的批評，最容易折喪一個人的志氣。我從不批評他人，我相信獎勵是使人工作的原動力。所以，我喜歡讚美而討厭吹毛求疪。如果說我喜歡什麼，那就是：真誠、慷慨地讚美他人。」
這就是夏布成功的秘訣。但是，一般人怎麼做呢？正好相反。假如他們不喜歡一件事，必定對部多屬大吼大叫；如果喜歡，就一點也不吭聲。就如俗語所云：「好事無人知，壞事繞房樑。」夏布又說：「生活中，我廣泛接觸過世界各地不同層面的人，我發現，無論如何偉大或尊貴的人，他們和平常人一樣，在受到肯定的情況之下，更能奮發工作，效果也更好。」
但有人可能會覺得，這些都只是逢迎、拍馬屁的技倆！讚賞和阿諛奉承有何不同？很簡單，前者具有誠意，後者則否；前者是由心底發出，後者則是口頭說說而已；前老是無私的，後者完全為自己打算；前者為世人所愛，後者則為世人所憎惡。假如只要逢迎便能使他人上鉤，那我們每人不就都是人際關係專家了？
當我們不在思考某些特定問題的時候，通常會花費百分之九十五的時間去思考與自己有關的問題。現在，假如我們暫時不去想自己的問題，而去思考其他人所提出的觀點，我們就不必刻意去討好他人。因為刻意討好他人的話在說出口之前，已被人看輕了。我們日常生活當中最常忽略的美德之一，便是讚美。
每個教師、講員、公共發言人都知道，當他們傾其所有給聽眾，卻得不到一絲讚賞時，內心會有多失望。同樣的情形發生在辦公室、店鋪和工廠的員工，甚至我們的家人和朋友，他們同樣會有這樣的感受，甚至我們的家人和朋友，他們同樣會有這樣的感受，基至加倍。在人際交往裡，別忘了我們所接觸的是人，他們渴望被讚賞。提供歡樂給人，是合法合理的。
在你每天的生活之旅，別忘了為人間留下一點讚美的溫馨，這一點小火花會然起友誼的火。當你下再度來訪時，會驚奇地發現它留下多麼鮮明的痕跡。
嚴苛批評別人不僅不能改變他們，更不能鼓舞他們。有一句西方格言說：「人只活一次，所以，任何能貢獻出來的好與善，讓我現在就去做。不要遲疑，不要怠慢，因為你只活這麼一次。」
鼓勵他人 激發潛力
How to Encourage People wikihow
Encouraging others is an important part of being part of a family, a group of people and a community. Everyone is doing their best in this world and sometimes, a kindly word of encouragement can help others realize that they're not alone. Moreover, encouragement is a way of recognizing the good others do, and seeking more of it. Applauding success acknowledges that people matter and that their efforts mean much to you, whether the person is known to you, or even a stranger. Take some time out today to encourage someone who crosses your path.
1.
Encourage even the smallest effort. Small efforts may appear little but to the doer, having the effort recognized can mean a great deal. It can be enough to spark the motivation to continue with a challenge. It could even be a way of helping a small effort grow into something large.
Image titled Encourage People Step 2
2
Stop finding fault with the wrong and applaud the right. By nitpicking and projecting our own insecurities and irritation onto others, we fail to see what the other person is doing right. By noticing the things done well, and downplaying the things we're not happy about or don't like, there is a greater likelihood of seeing more of the same right behavior and responsiveness. Water the flowers you want to see grow, rather than feeding the weeds.
3
Look for outwardly demonstrable ways to encourage a person. Stars or happy faces work with children. Badges, certificates, gifts and notes are nice ways to encourage employees, coworkers, friends, students, family members, etc. A photo of the two of you doing something good together, by way of both memory and acknowledgment, can be a terrific way to encourage another person and shows your solidarity with their efforts.
4
Reject negative responses. These are the reactions such as frowns or pouts. They're also the physical evidence such as bad letter grades or nasty comments left online. There is always room for improvement––most people are constantly aware of this––but there is no room for berating or criticizing with mean intent; you may feel temporarily clever but barbs leave lasting marks, with no benefit. Think with a helping spirit rather than an attacking one––be very wary of your own inner emotions if all you feel like doing is dressing down someone else, as the source of your irritation is inner unhappiness. Deal with that directly rather than discouraging someone else.
5
Make positive comments. To a child, say things like “your work was really neat”, "I can see you did a great deal of research on that topic, that's fantastic." Tell people how well they have performed at something, faced their fears, overcome obstacles and succeeded at even the smallest things. Even if you feel dislike for a person or feel competitive towards them, there is always at least one thing about them that you can honestly say is positive, so dig for that and tell this person––remember that it may encourage more of the positive, less of the things that bother you!
6
Write encouraging comments. Whether it's for work, for peer review, for a child's homework or for any other written feedback, keep the comments encouraging and constructive. Decimating someone's work may feel satisfying but saying things forcefully tends to deflate and fails to give good direction on what needs to be improved.
Instead of being negative, make comments such as (for a child) “I really liked how you did that, I bet you will get it all correct next time” or "You've done a lot of work here, of good quality. Next time I'd suggest focusing more on X, Y and Z, just to ensure that the paper as a whole reads coherently." You can still say what needs to be clarified and improved, it's just the how you approach it that makes all the difference.
7
Tell people positive things about themselves. People love to hear how you perceive them in a positive light; all too often we are our own worst critics and it is can be surprisingly uplifting to hear someone external tell us quite the opposite of our worries. For example, you can point out how kind, caring, helpful, thoughtful, considerate, timely, reflective, innovative, etc. a person is. Try to point out concrete examples that demonstrate to your mind why the person shows these traits, as that will help the other person to see that you're genuine.
8
Notice when someone does something good. While we tend to admire the way people look or have the courage to look or act differently, often we stay silent. This is a pity, as it tends to allow the spiteful pick-apart culture so adored in celebrity-style media to take central stage. Part of moving away from such personal attacks involves shifting to always using personal compliments instead. By displaying this regularly, you serve as a role model on how to encourage people, rather than putting them down.
For example, you might like to notice people's dress and grooming, such as saying: “I love the way you dress", or "I love the way you comb your hair”.
9
Keep it honest, keep it real. People know the truth about themselves. They'll also know when you're flattering rather than complimenting from the heart. Flattery is not a sincere form of encouragement; it usually always comes with an edge of wanting something or of wanting to pump up another person, only to pierce their balloon later. Get into the habit of speaking only honest compliments and you'll leave the gossip and rumor style comments well behind.
10
Bite your tongue when you're feeling mean. We all feel mean at times, often when we're tired, rundown, hungry or feel humiliated in some way. It happens and it's part of life's journey to learn how to manage our own blues and down times. One important lesson to learn is to bite your tongue and not say negative and discouraging things, just to get people off your back. Instead, you could insert an encouragement or simply say nothing until you feel more like yourself again.
If you do overstep the mark (and goodness, who hasn't at some point?), apologize. This ensures that you do the right thing by the other person. You cannot make the other person forgive you or forget what you've done but you can always set things to right from your end and continue in a constructive and fair manner from that point on. Lesson learned. Move on.
How to Encourage Others and Inspire Your Followers
6 Ways to Build Others up and Grow Your Influence
When is the last time someone told you, “I’m proud of you”? Not for what you’ve done or accomplished but just for being you. If you are like most people, it’s been far too long.
Those four words are some of the most encouraging words to the human ear. That’s why I whisper them to our daughter every night before she goes to sleep.
No matter what she did or didn’t do that day, no matter what she accomplished or how she acted, she will hear those four powerful words:
“I’m proud of you.”
The Power of Your Words
If you are a leader, your words are magnified. Something that seems of no consequence to you can lift a team member’s spirits or crush them. If you are a parent, this power is amplified even more.Eugene Peterson translates a passage from the Bible (James 3) this way:
A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!Whether you are a company leader, a parent, a mentor, or someone that others look up to for any reason, your words hold immense power. That’s why it’s critical that your words build others up, not tear them down. They must be encouraging.
But what is encouragement? It might help to establish what it is…and what it isn’t.
What Encouragement is and Isn’t
Most leaders think that encouragement is saying things like:
“Great job!”
“Well done!”
“Way to go!”
But that is not encouragement at all. It’s a reward. It’s what one expects after a job well done.
Encouragement, on the other hand, is telling others that you believe in them before they even start.
Offering rewards by saying “great job” is important, but it is not encouragement.
So how do you encourage others and inspire them to achieve more than than might think is possible? These six ways are a great start.
6 Ways to Encourage Others
1. Show them you careWhen you take the time to learn about others, it shows that you care. This empowers and encourages them. If you are a business leader, the best way to do this is in your one-on-one meetings. If you aren’t doing one-on-ones with your team, this one-on-one meeting guide is a great start.
Take the time to learn about their family, interests, fears, challenges, and dreams. One of the single best ways to encourage others is to care about what they care about.
2. Tell them verbally
Use the four magic leadership words: I believe in you.
Take the time to tell your team, your friends, your family, and your followers that you believe in their abilities and that you are confident that they will succeed.
3. Tell them in writing
The great thing about encouraging someone in writing is that he can keep the note forever. I cannot count the number of times I’ve seen my encouraging notes in team members’ offices over the years.
Our daughter’s mirror is surrounded by notes Tara and I have written to her. She will be able to read those for a lifetime.
TIP: If you are a parent, do as Tara did and get an email address for each of your children. Our daughter, Aracelli, is only four years old, yet already has an inbox full of messages from us. She has a digital record of encouraging words.
4. Share with othersOne of the best ways to encourage someone is to tell others how great he or she is. When you speak of your spouse in public, praise him. When you talk about your children, praise them.
At work, when you talk about a team member with a fellow manager, talk him up. Over time, it will create a culture of encouragement.
5. Trust them with more
When you assign responsibility to someone, even if you verbalize it, you are saying, “I trust you.” Trust conveys belief.
When you give someone responsibility, remember you are not only trusting them with the expectation of success, but you are allowing them to make mistakes. When you micromanage or try to “fix” things along the way, it is discouraging and demotivating. Give responsibility, trust the person, and get out of the way.
6. Help them
This might sound like the opposite of #5, but let me be clear that helping is not micromanaging or meddling. Simply ask how you can help them. It’s important for others to know that while you trust them, you are also there to help.
This goes beyond just helping with projects or tasks, though. Get involved in their personal development by offering to send them to professional training, seminars, classes, or other learning opportunities. Show them that you care about their self-improvement, not just their word.
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