陽光甜味咖啡館 Sun Sweet Cafe

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Dare to dream!

勇敢夢!

LOVE YOURSELF!

愛自己!

週五(9/30)生日排行影響性格?2.情緒智商

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉  聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
「How Birth Order Affects Personality」的圖片搜尋結果
生日排行影響性格?
How Birth Order Affects Personality    Dr. Gail Gross

The Firstborn Child: The Achiever
The eldest child will probably have more in common with other firstborns than their own brothers and sisters. Because they have had so much control and attention from their first-time parents, they are over-responsible, reliable, well-behaved, careful and smaller versions of their own parents.

If you are a firstborn, you are probably a high achiever who seeks approval, dominates and is that perfectionist who uses up all of the oxygen in the room. You can be found in a leadership career such as law, medicine or as a CEO. As a mini-parent, you try to dominate your sibs.

The Middle Child: The Peacemaker
If you are a middle child, you are probably understanding, cooperative and flexible, yet competitive. You are concerned with fairness. In fact, as a middle child, you are likely to pick an intimate circle of friends to represent your extended family. It is here that you will find the attention likely lacking in your family of origin. As a middle child, you receive the least amount of attention from family and as a result, this family of your choice is your compensation. As a middle child, you’re in very good company with notable U.S. Presidents and celebrities such as Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Steve Forbes. Though often a late bloomer, you find yourself in power careers that allows you to use your negotiating skills... and get that all too-needed attention.

The Youngest Child: The Life of the Party
If you’re the baby, your parents are already confident in their role as caregiver, and therefore are more lenient and don’t necessarily pay attention to your every move or milestone as they did with your older siblings. Thus, you’ve learned how to seduce the crowd with charm and likability.

As the youngest child, you have more freedom than the other siblings and, in a sense, are more independent. As the youngest child, you also have a lot in common with your oldest sibling, as both of you have been made to feel special and entitled.
It probably won’t surprise you to note that youngest children often find careers in the entertainment business as actors, comedians, writers, directors and so on. They also make good doctors and teachers. Because your parents were more laid back and lenient, you expect freedom to follow your own path in a creative style.

The Lone Wolf: The Only Child
If you’re an only child, you grow up surrounded by adults, and therefore are more verbal and often more mature. This allows for gains in intelligence that exceed other birth order differences. Having spent so much time alone, you are resourceful, creative and confident in your independence. If you’re an only child, you actually have a lot in common with those who are first borns, as well as those who are the youngest in their families.
Q:
Do you believe that birth order affects personality?
What are your opinion about birth order differences?
How birth order affects personality?
What do you think that “the firstborn child are probably a high achiever?
What do you think that “the middle child: the peacemaker”?
What are your opinion about youngest children often find careers in the entertainment business?
What are the other factors affect personality?

情緒智商
EI:  Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others. According to Talent Smart, 90% of high performers at the work place possess high EQ, while 80% of low performers have low EQ. Emotional Intelligence is absolutely essential in the formation, development, maintenance, and enhancement of close personal relationships. Unlike IQ, which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our EQ can evolve and increase with our desire to learn and grow.

1.  The Ability to Reduce Negative Emotions
Perhaps no aspect of EQ is more important than our ability to effectively manage our own negative emotions, so they don't overwhelm us and affect our judgment. In order to change the way we feel about a situation, we must first change the way we think about it. Here are just two examples:

Reducing Negative Personalization. When you feel adversely about someone’s behavior, avoid jumping to a negative conclusion right away. Instead, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. For example, I may be tempted to think my friend didn’t return my call because she’s ignoring me, or I can consider the possibility that she’s been very busy. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive their expressions more objectively. People do what they do because of them more than because of us. Widening our perspective can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding. 

2.  The Ability to Stay Cool and Manage Stress
Most of us experience some level of stress in life. How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. Here are two quick tips:

A. If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. Cool temperature can help reduce our anxiety level. Avoid caffeinated beverages which can stimulate your nervousness).

B. If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself. The way we use our body affects greatly the way we feel. As the saying goes - motion dictates emotion. As you experience the vitality of your body, your confidence will also grow.

3.  The Ability to Stay Proactive, Not Reactive in the Face of a Difficult Person
Most of us encounter unreasonable people in our lives. We may be “stuck” with a difficult individual at work or at home. It’s easy to let a challenging person affect us and ruin our day. What are some of the keys to staying proactive in such situations? Here are three quick tips:

When you feel angry and upset with someone, before you say something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. In most circumstances, by the time you reach ten, you would have figured out a better way of communicating the issue, so that you can reduce, instead of complicate the problem. If you're still upset after counting to ten, take a time out if possible, and revisit the issue after you calm down.
Q:
How to increase your emotional intelligence?
How to reduce negative emotions?
How to Control Your Temper Before You Lose It?
How to deal with a difficult person?
How to the ability to stay cool and manage stress?
IQ or EQ: which one is more important?
How emotion and mood influence behavior?

週四 (9/29)1.人生不設限2.不擅交際的人

板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉 PM7:00--9:30
「Stop Limiting Your Opportunities」的圖片搜尋結果


人生不設限
How to Stop Limiting Your Opportunities in Life     wiki

Are you your own worst saboteur? Stopping yourself from making achievements can be all too easy an option sometimes and when it becomes an ingrained habit, it can make your life very uncomfortable and limited.

    Learn from past experience but don't let it stranglehold you. Applying past experience can cause us to err in our present judgment, however, when we don't adjust the context of what is happening now. Take the good lessons about practicing caution and weigh up that need for being cautious with the need to keep trying new things.
 
  Learn to overcome avoidance. When you avoid situations and events, you avoid the risks inherent in undertaking an activity or meeting new people. You also avoid the potential for discovery and great opportunities. Avoidance is a safety mechanism built up from past experiences, current fears, and presumed rather than actual outcomes. It takes a lot of work to overcome avoidance as a habit but the first step is to recognize that you do this, and to start working on not relying on avoidance as a habit.

    Try new things one at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by taking on too many new experiences at once. Test things out slowly and reward yourself for each small step that you take. When you remove the pressure, you will find it easier to gradually take up new opportunities.
 
    Don't put yourself down. When you insist that other people can do something better than you, or that you're just not able to do something because you're too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too pretty, too ugly, too smart, too dumb, etc., you automatically limit your belief that you can do something. Once that happens, you work really hard at confirming your negative impression and in turn, put yourself and your abilities down. The better course of action is to believe that you're capable and to at least "give it a go."
 
    Follow things up. Never sit around thinking that someone will notice your talents, beauty, cleverness, abilities, etc. The reality is that you need to get out there and promote yourself so that you're on people's radar. When you get a lead, be sure to follow it up and remind people about your potential.
   
    Once a year, do something that scares/thrills/really excites you. Keep a date with yourself to come out of that shell and push yourself beyond your safety limits. Go on, you can do it!
Q:
How to stop limiting your opportunities in life?   
How learn from past experience and trying new things?
How to meet new people?
How to take up new opportunities?
How to overcome avoidance?
How to promote yourself?
How to discover your potential?


「Social phobia」的圖片搜尋結果
不擅交際的人
Social avoidance  wordpress.com

Many Aspies and sensitive people have problems with social interaction. Tendencies to withdraw from social contact may have many causes.

Introversion

Being a natural introvert and individualistic rather than gregarious. These are perfectly normal personality traits, common among gifted, creative and sensitive people. Someone born with a special talent, interest or ambition, may honestly regard socialising as a distracting waste of time instead of the reason for living. It is a matter of priority:- A social person may put up with working so as to be able to meet other people and afford having a family and social life.

A non-social (creative/specialist) person may put up with the unavoidable socialising at work or home as an arduous necessity to get to have the fun of working, creating or researching.

What the social type often fails to understand is that it can be a real joy and pleasure to be left alone and do things on one’s own. Especially if one has something particularly interesting to study, create, perceive, think about, work on or play with. Being a non-social person is not a disorder. It is simply a personality type.

Social phobia

May vary in intensity from deadly panic to feeling shy, inhibited, uncomfortable and confused due to being overly self-conscious and unsure of how to behave in various social situations.

Common in introvert and emotionally supersensitive people. In a forum poll 16% of Aspies reported having grave social phobia, 52% mild social phobia and 6% having had one form or another earlier.

Being informed of common social rules; practice under safe circumstances; work on self-esteem; and initially being accompanied by a trusted companion in frightening situations can be of huge help to get on the right track.
Q:
Why some people have problems with social interaction?
Why is important for social interaction?
What are the personality traits of introverts?
What are good ways to become a social person?
What personality type can be friends with everyone?
What causes Social phobia?


周三(9/28) 1. [讚美加油站] 表達感激的好處2.主題特色餐廳


板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮院  左轉 PM7:00--9:30
「amazing street compliments」的圖片搜尋結果




[讚賞加油站表達感激的好處
Street Compliments: A Very Public Display Of True Affection    huffing post

Sometimes, complimenting someone can be a little uncomfortable — but rarely is it as awkward as it probably felt for the people in this video.

They were the lucky victims of online publication SoulPancake's pop-up project called "Street Compliments," which involves the "complimenter" standing in a soundbooth, and the "complimentee" squirming in embarrassment between giant set of yellow headphones set up on a street corner.

It's actually kind of awesome, since it forces people to tell each other what they really love about each other. And it gets very touching — we're not talking "OMG, I love your new shoes" kind of compliments here. Our favourite? When a teenager actually tells her dad she doesn't hate him.

Benefits of Gratitude   Amy Morin

Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. Not only does saying “thank you” constitute good manners, but showing appreciation can help you win new friends, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. The study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. So whether you thank a stranger for holding the door or send a thank-you note to that colleague who helped you with a project, acknowledging other people’s contributions can lead to new opportunities.

Gratitude improves physical health. Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. Not surprisingly, grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health. They exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups, which is likely to contribute to further longevity.
 Q:
What are the ways to show appreciation and gratitude for others?
What are the tips for giving effective praise?
How to gracefully accept a compliment?
Reasons why we should compliments?
What are the benefits of expressing gratitude?
How to make new friends?

「Theme Restaurants in Taipei」的圖片搜尋結果
主題特色餐廳
Theme Restaurants in Taipei

If you like food AND funny things, there are restaurants in Taipei you must absolutely try. First because it is an occasion to travel to different parts of the city in search for food, and second, because you might never see restaurants like this in your home country!
    Modern Toilets
You might wonder, what the hell is that thing? Well, it is a restaurant that has toilets and, in a certain extent, poop as a theme. While certain people might avoid the topic of toilets when possible, some people actually decided they would make a whole restaurant on that theme, no shame! Being a fan of funny, stupid things, I really wanted to try this one.

When I arrived, waiters came to me straight away and placed me at a table on the second floor. I was given a menu and a glass of water. Good thing is, the menu is in English so you will have no problems deciding what to take. It is mostly foreign food that is served here, with a lot of pasta with different sauces, steak meals, but also hot pot meals (probably the most Chinese thing on the menu). If you take a “classic theme meal”, you will have a drink and a dessert included. I went after lunch hours so it wasn’t very busy.

I decided to try one of the classic theme meals and opted for the Modern Toilet Beef Curry (NT$ 270). And my thirst for funny stupid thing was quenched as they served me (very quickly, I must say) my food on a tray. And here it was, my beef curry proudly cooked on a toilet ‘plate’. The toilet is actually a stove so there is a flame that keeps you meal warm and hot for about three minutes before dying out. The meal includes the beef curry with potatoes and carrots, seaweed soup, a bowl of rice, a tea drink and a dessert so I would say the final price of NT$270 is rather correct.
    Hello Kitty Sweets
If you are travelling in Taiwan, then you certainly have noticed the insane love that Taiwanese people have for the Japanese kitty. It’s almost everywhere, and after while it becomes harder and harder to resist the cute little thing. Some people took it a step further and decided to dedicate a whole restaurant to the cat.

When I arrived I was greeted by one of the waitresses. 

They put me on a single table on the first floor and bring me the menu. The waitresses speak English. I choose the orange and strawberry cheese cake as well as a hazelnut coffee. Buying a cake gives you a free drink but you can only choose two and coffee is not amongst the ones offered so I pay an extra NT$50 for it but in my opinion it’s not the end of the world. Before being served what I ordered, I’m given a hello kitty pudding as a starter, on the house.
Q:
What do you think the modern toilets food restaurant?
Can you recommend some theme restaurants in Taipei?
What are the typical Taiwanese food you would recommend to foreign visitors?
What type of cuisine do you like the most? Why?(ex: Italian food)
Why Taiwanese like eating? Do you like to eat out? Why?
Why some people crazy about hello kitty?


康健雜誌15      作者   

一句讚美,讓一個放牛班的學生成為化學家︰ 一句讚美,讓原本羞澀的留學生, 成為廣受年輕人喜愛的心理學者; 讚美的力量,鼓勵的火花, 曾經讓許多人的生命,有了奇蹟似的改變…
人類天性渴望認同

每個人天生都渴望得到他人的讚賞;同樣的,也都懼怕責難。心理學家兼哲學家威廉詹姆斯說:「人類性情中最強烈的,是渴望受人認同。」許多心理學家,以動物的訓練做實驗,來比較做好事給予褒獎 ,以及做錯事給予懲罰,都一再發現褒獎的效果好過於懲罰,一味批評是無法期待好效果的,倒不如重視對方的情緒反應。

人際關係專家卡內基曾經說過,對於被人認可,覺得自己很重要,是人之異於禽獸的主要特性。如果祖先沒有這種重要性的需求,人類的文明大約會在原地踏步。使一位未受教育的貧窮小孩發憤圖強的,就是這種「重要感的需求」。范仲淹就著月光發奮夜讀,放牛孩子王冕用樹枝勤練畫技終成畫家。

.讚美要真誠,而且不能期望有所回報

中華日報副主筆吳涵碧剛進報社,就被指定為兒童寫歷史故事,前途不被看好,別人教她買書抄一抄即可,但吳涵碧查古書,做了好幾抽屜的卡片,寫出現代版的歷史故事。當時的韓國大使朱撫松的夫人,也就是著名的記者兼作家徐鐘佩,回台灣拜望老師馬星野,提到她「在報上謮到吳姐姐講故事非常好」,馬星野很訝異地跟徐鐘佩說;「作者就是我的外甥呀。」

「這是我進社會得到的第一個大鼓勵,若她先知道我是誰的親戚而讚美,感覺會不一樣的,更何況是我最崇拜的新聞界前輩,」吳涵碧說,有時碰到挫折不想再寫時,「想到徐阿姨喜歡,就一直寫下去。」20年來共寫了一千一百多個故事連載,出書50本。

在「窈窕淑女」原著小說裡,作者蕭伯納安排外表邋遢、談吐舉止粗俗的賣花女,雖獲教授調教,卻跟上校私奔,她說:「你才是真正把我變成淑女的人,我在教授面前仍忍不住想做粗魯動作,但你的真心讚賞,使我想活出你心目中的樣子。」

.敏銳認知別人的優點

黑幼龍40歲時是個工程師,有兩個部屬,但在認識了光啟社的丁松筠神父後,丁神父告訴黑幼龍,「你有潛能做領導人物,因為你勇於從錯誤中學習,可有所作為,應走出來換行。」點醒了黑幼龍重新思考,「我自己都不知道自己的領導潛力。」

六個月後黑幼龍做光啟社副社長,帶領不同部門150個人,還製作了膾炙人口的「新武器大觀」等電視節目,雖然薪水只有以前一半,卻自覺像找到一塊園地,發現自己許多新本事,以及滿足感與歸屬感,既不覺得累也不覺得苦。這次經驗促使黑幼龍後來走入訓練人才潛能的行業。

當侯文詠還是醫學院學生時,寫了篇「不考試真好」,吳涵碧邊看邊笑,覺得「這人真有趣,找他寫故事書,一定叫好又叫座」,想辦法得到他的電話,天天打給他,半年後侯文詠的弟弟接聽電話,才知他去澎湖服兵役。吳涵碧又費力打通軍用電話,跟侯文詠說出她對他的讚賞。

這番「全省大通緝」後,侯文詠持續替中華日報寫文章,後來出書,果然受讀者歡迎。吳涵碧說,當她經過書店,看到不論大人小孩也在邊看邊笑,「我知道自己做對了,看到別人好,就要對他講出來,其實每個人都應如此,做別人的啦啦隊長。」她謙稱她是從徐鐘佩學來的。

讚美像打靶,三個同心圓,從最外圈的「外表」,到最二層的「成就與性格」,到第三圈的「潛力(連本人都未察覺的潛能)」,一般人能打中第二圈,就已不得了,丁松筠與吳涵碧為何還能打中第三圈,識人所未識?

答案就在觀察。丁松筠說,他平時就對人感興趣、有關心,就會留意,只要細心觀察一定可以找出他的優點,當然也可以找出缺點,就看你的方向。

會關心別人,會對他留意,源於愛心,或深信不疑的想法。丁松筠十歲喪父後,懷疑人生的意義,但從母親對他的愛,以及思索人生方向,終而從聖經得到答案,「效仿耶穌,有很多愛的能力,我希望我能在認識一個人40分鐘後,一定讓他知道他特別可愛的一面,多年下來,成為習慣。」

在他看來,甜言蜜語固然直接講出來,但間接也很重要,看著他,仔細聽他說,重視他說的每句話,注意他的身體狀況,例如他腳痛,表現你的關心。丁松筠做到了心理學家所說的原則,「專注的傾聽,是我們所能給人的最高讚詞」。



吳涵碧受從小喜歡看故書書,覺得其實大人也有童心,一心想出版「大人小孩都愛看的書」,但坊間兒童讀物傾向說教,很多大人又不懂幽默,「只會講黃色笑話」,所以一看到候文詠的作品,如獲至寶。