週二(7/31)1走出舒適圈!.2當朋友傷你--

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

走出舒適圈!

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone   wiki

Write a mission statement about your challenge. Come up with a reason (or a few) that you want to tackle this obstacle. Ask yourself what you’re going to get out this new experience. Once you have your answer, write it down on a piece of paper and keep it with you. This can be a little phrase you repeat to yourself every time you’re thinking about backing down.

    If you’re going on a blind date, for example, you might tell yourself: “I’ve gone on lots of dates I set up myself, and I haven’t met someone I can picture myself with long term. This could be my chance!”

 Visualize challenges as chances to grow. The biggest obstacle keeping you from stepping out of your comfort zone is fear, especially fear of failure. Instead of focusing on the possibility of failure, think of steps outside your comfort zone as opportunities. You may be right around the corner from changing your life for the better!

    Stepping out of your comfort zone can make you happier and more fulfilled. Keep those positive possibilities at the front of your mind to push out the fears.

    For example, you want to throw your name in the ring for a promotion that just came up at work, but you’re terrified of not getting the job. Instead of focusing on that outcome, imagine what could happen if you get it!

Coach yourself through scary situations. Some good self-talk can really help you step outside your comfortable box. Repeat encouraging, positive phrases to yourself. Use your name and the first person to make it more effective.

    You can say something like: “Jenna, I know you’re scared, but you’re going to try this anyway. Just think about how much fun you could have! You’re strong and brave.”

    You can even find a quiet spot or a private bathroom and talk to yourself out loud in the mirror.

    This can be especially helpful for helping you with that final push. You’re in the plane, ready to jump out for your very first skydiving experience. Don’t stop now

 Turn every day into a learning experience. Change the way you view your day-to-day life. Look at each day at a chance for you to learn something new. Remember that this can only happen if you’re stepping outside your comfort zone.

    You can do this by always making an effort to find ways to grow. Start a book you’ve been meaning to read. Buy a different newspaper than the one you always read. Take a different route to get to work. You never know what you’ll learn about the world when you explore different sides of it!

  

當朋友傷你--

Ways to Respond When a Friend Hurts You

Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock

1.      Try talking about the issue with your friend. This is obviously connected to the first step, since you can’t reality-test your perceptions without your friend's feedback. Many times this kind of discussion leads to a resolution. But sometimes, as happened with Jake and Sam, the resolution isn’t what you expect or want.

article continues after advertisement

2.       Discuss it with someone else you trust. If you can’t get your friend to talk to you, talk things over with someone whose opinion you value. But don’t play the gossip game. It might feel good to turn a mutual friend against a friend who's wronged you, but in the end it will just make the situation worse. Receiving advice from someone who is disengaged and neutral is not the same thing as talking about a friend behind their back.

3.      Look for ways to resolve the conflict. Sometimes this simply means waiting until you both cool down. Daniel Goleman, the author of many books about emotional intelligence, says that we all need time cool off in order to manage conflict. There is a scientific reason for this: Our neurons have been firing off at a rapid pace in one direction to convince the other person—and maybe ourselves as well—that we are right.

4.      Know when not to talk. This may sound weird coming from a psychotherapist, but sometimes not talking about a problem is the best thing you can do for your friendship. As you may know from my other posts, I think a lot of popular mystery stories offer good psychological insights. One example is found in Sue Grafton’s character Kinsey Millhone, who, after an argument with a close friend, says:

5.      Know when to cut your losses. As Kenny Rogers says in “The Gambler,” you have to “know when to fold 'em.” Sometimes that means giving up a specific battle, and other times it means giving up an entire friendship. This is not always an easy decision, and it definitely needs to be made when your neurons and chemistry are calm. Don’t end a friendship in the heat of an argument; take the time to cool off. At this point, if there is clearly no chance of resolving things and you cannot simply ignore what has happened, then ...

6.       Let it go. Whether you win or lose the fight, whether you decide to stay friends or not, find a way to let go of your hurt, resentment, and sadness. It takes time, but sometimes we have to actively decide to let go and move on. Holding onto hurt and pain doesn’t do you or your friendships any good. The best thing you can do when an argument is over is figure out what you have learned from it, so that you can apply the knowledge the next time—because there will definitely be a next time.

Read More 看完整內容

周六(7/28)1.完美男人特徵2. 你的時間值多少錢?下午4:00-6:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    星期六 聚會時間為下午4:00-6:00

完美男人特徵

Desirable Traits of a Perfect Man

TallyPress

Every girl has an ideal checklist when looking out for a partner. From the outer look to the inner character, here is a list of 12 traits that would make up a perfect man. If you ever find someone like him, remember to grab him tight before he falls prey to the hands of others.

1) He is Charming

A charming man, when he looks into your eyes, makes you feel like you are in fairy tale. Have you ever met someone who made your cheek blushes and your heart pounds like never before?

2) He is Fit

Every girl desires her partner to be in good shape, but hardly say it out. Guys, if you think your woman is okay with your big tummy, then you are wrong. Who doesn’t wish to date a fit guy like Brad Pitt?

3) He Knows How To Style Up

A man who is presentable is surely an icing to cake. A man who knows how to style up and look smart makes a woman proud and delighted to go out with.

4) He is Honest

A man who lies is a big put off. A good guy understands honesty might be tough up front, but the impact is far less than the outcome of long running white lies.

5) He is Intelligent

Woman can rely on a man who has all the knowledge of the world. He can make smart decisions, help you solve your problems and provoke interesting conversations. Intelligence is surely a huge turn-on.

6) He is Romantic

A great relationship should never feel stale and boring. If a man knows how to always keep you on your toes, he is half way there to become the perfect candidate.

7) He is Caring

Every woman wants her man to care about her even if it’s a simple gesture. If a man knows when to be there when his woman needs him, he is certain to have a box ticked on the checklist.

8) He has Good Sense of Humor

Happiness is key in any relationships. A guy that can make you laugh all the time, is a guy that will help nurture a long term and healthy relationship.

 

你的時間值多少錢?

Calculating the Value of Time: How Much is Your Time Really Worth?

James Clear

Not all uses of time are equal and this simple truth can make a big difference in life. Understanding how to get the most out of your time starts with knowing—in exact terms—what your time is worth. Here’s how to methodically find out the value of your time.

This post originally appeared on James Clear’s blog.

People who spend their time doing more profitable work make more money. People who spend their time investing in others build better relationships. People who spend their time creating a flexible career enjoy more freedom. People who spend their time working on high-impact projects contribute more to society. Whether you want more wealth, more friendship, more freedom, or more impact, it all comes down to how you spend your time.

This article explains how to figure out what your time is worth and use that information to spend your time more effectively.

The Value of Time: What is One Hour Worth?

A few weeks before I began writing this article, I was shopping for a small travel bag. After much searching I found one that I liked and, at just $19, it was very affordable. But there was one problem: the bag was made by a company in the United Kingdom and it cost $45 to ship it to the United States.

I was immediately turned off by the idea of paying $45 to ship a $19 bag, so I searched for retail stores. The company had a physical location in New York City and I was already planning to visit the city a few weeks later. I looked up the store location and realized that it would take me about one hour to go out of my way and stop at the store during my trip.

That’s when I thought of the question that prompted this entire article: “Was one hour of my time worth $45?”

Should I save time and pay $45 to get the bag shipped to me? Or should I save cash and spend one hour of my time going to pick it up in person? I had no idea if going to the store or paying extra for shipping was a better use of my time and money.

The Time vs. Money Dilemma

At some level, we all have an internal gauge for how much our time is worth. For example, if someone offers to pay you $0.07 for one hour of work, you would immediately decline. Meanwhile, if someone offers to pay you $7,000 for one hour of work, you would immediately accept.

On extreme ends of the spectrum, it is easy to know if a task is worth your time. As you move toward the middle of the time-value spectrum, however, it becomes less clear if a particular task is worth your time or not. And this is the problem: most of life is lived in the gray zone of the time-value spectrum.

Read More 看完整內容

週四 (7/26)1.為何變成 魯蛇? 2.行動付款

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

為何變成 魯蛇?

How Losers Are Created And How To Avoid Becoming One

 By Tim Denning

You’ve all met a person who’s a loser. Some people like the word and some people don’t but who really cares. Losers exist so deal with it. Worse yet, you may be one without even knowing it. My job is not to shame you if you are a loser; my job is to inspire you to change.

For the purpose of this blog post it’s someone who has done the following:

• Given up on life

• Wants to talk down other people’s dreams

• Get’s jealous over dumb stuff

• Has zero purpose or reason for living

• Doesn’t show love to the world

• Makes you feel demotivated and uninspired

I was a loser, so I know what it’s like to be one intimately. I slept in and found it hard to face the day. I drank way too much alcohol to try and numb the pain. I didn’t do myself any favors with the opposite sex. I watched a lot of TV and ate the worst food that you could possibly consume.

I had no passion, no dream and no purpose in life. I was a deadbeat loser.

No one is born a loser. Losers are created when a person experiences a major failure or hits rock bottom. We all have had this happen to us in life, but a loser is born when he or she can’t get back up again and allows circumstances to define their future.

Losers are created when they become overly negative and have nothing positive in their life. This mindset is created through a lack of gratitude and appreciation for what they do have. Selfishness becomes the dominant way of living and everyone else is the problem in their eyes.

Losers stop taking responsibility for their life and decide to do nothing.

Life can change in a moment when you make a better decision. It’s this decision-making ability that allows someone to go from being a loser to being a champion.

Here is what you should avoid if you want never to become a loser or stop being a loser:

Those flashy headlines that steal your attention away from what matters are making you a loser. Most traditional news is exaggerated rubbish that makes people fear the world and fear each other. The news makes us all look at each like we’re terrorists. Choose love, not fear.

  

行動付款

How to Pay With Your Phone or Tablet     by Melanie Pinola

Ditch your wallet and use mobile checkout

Ready to leave your wallet at home and use only your smartphone to perform all your everyday financial transactions? This is possible with mobile payments, which may actually someday replace most physical payment types like cash and cards.

Mobile payments is a big term that can mean everything from paying at restaurants with your phone or swiping your card on your friend's tablet, to transferring money to family or co-workers without needing to physically hand them the cash.

What Are Mobile Payments?

There are a variety of mobile payment systems that all work a bit differently. Some might require your phone to be near the other device receiving the payment, like with near-field communication (NFC) payments, while others just use the internet.

Most mobile payment systems can be identified in one of these categories:

    Everyday transactions: One type of mobile payment takes place anywhere you are, like at home. You can open an app on your phone and pay anyone for any reason you wish: split a bill, send a money gift, refund someone for something they did for you, and so on. Money is usually taken straight from your bank account, but some services let you hold the cash in a "mobile wallet" for quicker transfers.

    Point of sale (POS) payments: These take place at the place where you're buying the service or good. Lots of stores have POS mobile payment systems in place that make it super easy to just tap your phone on the card reader or press a button on your phone to instantly pay the bill.

    Closed-loop mobile payments: These types of mobile payments are specific to a company. For example, Starbucks lets you buy anything from their menu using your phone, and you can even skip the line in the store and go directly to a mobile-order-specific line to quickly pick up your order.

    Carrier payments: Since every mobile payment–capable phone uses a cell phone carrier, some services are in place that let you pay for items from your phone but not actually have to pay until you get your cell phone bill. These are sometimes seen with donations you can make over text.

    Mobile card reader: Some companies offer a small device that plugs into your phone or tablet that can be used to accept payments from a debit or credit card. These are perfect for small businesses or even individuals who are accepting payments on the go.

Mobile Payment Apps

Mobile payments apps are being released on the major app store platforms all the time. The payment method is becoming so popular that some phones even have a mobile payment feature built right into the device.

Read More 看完整內容

周二(7/24)1台灣人友善嗎? 2.窮人為何窮?

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

台灣人友善嗎?

Inter Nations: Taiwan is the world's friendliest country

Taiwan News

Inter Nations, one of the world’s largest expat networks, surveyed more than 14,000 respondents from 67 countries and found that Taiwan is the friendliest country in the world.

The results of the survey reported earlier this month in an article on the InterNations website also found that countries in the Southern Hemisphere are generally perceived as friendlier and more open than those up north.

According to the report, Taiwan clinched the first place for the friendliest country and best expat destination in the world. Taiwan scored high on hospitality as some 90 percent of foreigners in Taiwan gave local residents high marks, compared to an average of 65 percent in the rest of the surveyed countries, the report said. The report also said that the polls revealed that more than one third of expats even considered staying in Taiwan forever.

Bringing up the rear is Kuwait, which fared poorly in categories like “ease of settling in,” “feeling welcome” and “finding friends,” according to InterNation’s data.

The report pointed out that attitudes toward expats tend to vary according to where the expats are from. “Americans, often labeled as the world’s most obnoxious tourists, aren’t always embraced everywhere they go. Meanwhile, Japanese people are frequently ranked as the world’s most polite and well-behaved tourists,” the report said.

Many netizens have agreed with what the report found. Michael Fritz, a California resident, said in response to the report, “Having lived and worked in Taiwan for 5 years (primarily in Taipei), I can attest to the fact that Taiwan absolutely deserves this #1 ranking. In addition to being friendly and hospitable, Taiwanese people are extremely well educated.”

Kingsley Ezukam said, “I live in Taiwan and it deserves it. A very wonderful place.”

“I lived in Taiwan and totally agree that they love Americans... I would return and live out my life were it not for preferring to be close to my grandchildren,” Bryn Bacy Robinson, a U.S. citizen, commented on the report.

  

窮人為何窮?

Why Are the Poor Still Poor?   healthline.com

Talking to Linda Tirado you quickly get a sense of the chronic desperation that comes with a life of poverty.

But even with her 90-hour workweeks and always living on the edge, Tirado counts herself as one of the lucky ones among the millions of Americans living in poverty.

“I was actually doing really well. I had two jobs. My husband was working. I had a husband. I had a home. I was doing really well,” she said in an interview with Healthline.

But like the meager paychecks she picked up from her service industry jobs, the feeling of doing relatively well never extended very far.

“I’ve always been privileged and at the same time, I have never felt safe, I have never felt secure because every single day of my life was a constant [struggle to] stave off disaster,” she said.

Tirado has written a book about her experiences, “Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America.” Her circumstances have improved since her book was published, but her words still resonate with many people struggling to get by.

Her book grew out of a response that she wrote to a forum question titled “Why do poor people do things that seem so self-destructive?” But it might as well have been called “Why are the poor still poor?”

Poor Thinking

Neatly tucked into many discussions of poverty is a tacit belief that poor people are poor simply through their own actions — or inaction. This rises out of the long-held concept of the American dream.

There’s a “national value that we have, that there’s opportunity here and everybody can make of their life whatever they want, as long as they’re willing to work for it,” Elliot Berkman, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, told Healthline.

This belief, though, is not backed by the research that’s been done on poverty.

“People have that belief, but empirically there’s not really great evidence for that,” said Berkman. “What really determines how much money you make is how much money your parents made.”

A recent study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that parental income influenced not only children’s future income but also their likelihood of going to college and becoming pregnant as a teenager.

Another myth about poverty is that poor children aren’t equipped to do well in school.

“There are kids who are born in poverty who are plenty smart,” said Berkman, “but the experiences that they have and the strains that are placed on them from outside are quite stark.”

These experiences include poor nutrition, inadequate schools, parents working multiple jobs, and dangerous neighborhoods.

Read More 看完整內容