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周五(7/3)1.林間健行 好處多2.如何衡量自己的價值

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30
板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉
Family in a hikking day photo by grafvision on Envato Elements
林間健行 好處多
Ways Hiking Is Good for You  greatergood

The experience of hiking is unique, research suggests, conveying benefits beyond what you receive from typical exercise. Not only does it oxygenate your heart, it helps keep your mind sharper, your body calmer, your creativity more alive, and your relationships happier. And, if you’re like me and happen to live in a place where nearby woods allow for hiking among trees, all the better: Evidence suggests that being around trees may provide extra benefits, perhaps because of certain organic compounds that trees exude that boost our mood and our overall psychological well-being.

 Hiking in nature is so powerful for our health and well-being that some doctors have begun prescribing it as an adjunct to other treatments for disease. As one group of researchers puts it, “The synergistic effect of physical activity and time spent in nature make hiking an ideal activity to increase overall health and wellness.”

Here is what science is saying about the benefits of hiking.
1. Hiking keeps your mind sharper than many other forms of exercise
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Being a professional writer, I sometimes have trouble justifying taking the time to hike in the middle of my workday. But research suggests that hiking doesn’t just feel good, it might also keep my brain in top shape.

All exercise is good for us. Whether it’s using an elliptical trainer, riding a stationary bike, or walking on a treadmill, getting your heart rate up and working out your lungs keep you feeling younger and stronger. Exercise also helps your brain thanks to the extra oxygenation that comes with it.

But hiking involves something many other forms of exercise don’t: trails. That means it requires navigating in a world that’s not totally predictable. Slippery dirt, overhanging branches and hidden obstacles, trail markers, and wild animals crossing your path—all of the things you might encounter on a trail require micro- and macro-adjustments to your route, which is good for your brain.

As Daniel Levitin explains in his book, Successful Aging, hiking exercises the part of your brain designed to help you navigate through life—for example, the restrosplenial cortex and the hippocampus, which aids in memory, too—which is why hiking not only helps your heart, but helps your mind stay sharp, as well.
2. Hiking helps to keep you calm and happy

Exercise in general can be a great stress-buster. But what sets hiking apart from other forms of exercise is that it’s done outdoors in a natural setting. While other physical activities also rely on nature—for example, river rafting or backpacking—those often require more time and commitment than a simple hike and are less accessible to many people. Hiking can happen almost anywhere—from a city park or public garden to a mountain trail—and give you that dose of nature you need to stay happy.

Research is quite clear on the benefits of being in nature while exercising. Studies have found that, compared to walking in a cityscape or along a road, walking in green spaces helps us recover from “attention overload”—the mental fatigue that comes from living and working in a world where computers and cell phones are a constant distraction.

Being in nature is calming, too, and studies have found that people who spend time walking in nature are less anxious and suffer less rumination (thinking about the same worries or regrets over and over again), which should help protect against depression.

While it’s not totally clear why nature provides these psychological perks, researcher Craig Anderson and others have found that being in nature encourages feelings of awe—a state of wonder coupled with a sense of being small in the presence of something bigger than yourself. Awe is a powerful emotion that has many benefits, including improving your mood and making you feel more generous.
3. Hiking can increase our creativity

I’m sure I’m not alone in finding that walks in nature let my mind wander freely in creative directions. In fact, I’ve written many of my songs while hiking on a trail, lyric ideas bubbling up from some unconscious place when I’m not deliberately thinking.

Though we often read about philosophers or artists who’ve found creative inspiration in natural spaces, science is just beginning to document the connections between being in nature and creativity. David Strayer and his colleagues tested young adults in an Outward Bound program before and after they spent three days hiking in wilderness, and the participants showed increased creative thinking and problem-solving after the experience. Other studies have found connections between creative thinking and nature experiences, too, although they weren’t focused on hiking specifically.

Some scholars believe that these benefits for creativity have to do with how natural settings allow our attention to soften and our minds to wander in ways that can help us connect disparate ideas that are swirling around in our minds. Others suggest that the spaciousness and unpredictability in natural scenery somehow enhance creativity. Whatever the case, if being in nature increases creativity—which is tied to well-being—it might behoove creative types to spend a little more time on a trail.
Never Lower Your Price. Always Increase Your Value. - Interline ...
如何衡量自己的價
How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?  psychologytoday

When you get measured at the doctor's office, does the medical professional use a random stick to reveal your height? Hopefully not. If they did, you might be 3½ sticks tall in one doctor's office and 12 sticks tall in another. That sounds ridiculous, right? But when it comes to measuring self-worth, many people use something just as unreliable as a random stick.

You may not even consciously think about what type of stick you use to measure your self-worth. But it's likely that, deep down, you know. After all, when you feel like you're measuring up, you feel good about yourself. But when you feel as though you've fallen short, your self-esteem likely plummets. So while you may be aware of those fluctuations in how you feel, you might never stop to think about what type of measuring stick influences you so much.

While there are many ways you might measure your worthiness in life, it's important to consider whether some of them are unhealthy. Here are five common — yet unhealthy — ways people measure their self-worth:

1. Your Appearance

Some people measure their self-worth by the numbers on a scale. Others determine their value by how much attention they can attract with their appearance. The media sends a message that "you're only as good as you look," and many marketing strategies target people's insecurities over everything from weight gain to aging.

That's not to say good looks don't serve as an advantage in life; they certainly can. But a beautiful body or a handsome face won't last forever, and hair loss, wrinkles, and a middle-age spread can feel catastrophic for someone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.

2. Your Net Worth

You likely know at least one person whose self-worth is measured by their income or material possessions. But people who measure their self-worth by their net worth may never feel "valuable enough." And it's not just wealthy people who define themselves by the size of their bank accounts — many people live beyond their means in an attempt to feel "good enough." But going deep into debt to create a façade of wealth backfires in the end because while goods and services have monetary value, they don't reflect your value as a human being.

3. Who You Know

There are several ways people depend on others to give them value. While one person may only feel good about herself when she's in a relationship, someone else may feel as though name-dropping well-known people will gain the admiration from others he needs to feel good.

Some people only feel worthy when they can surround themselves with important people. A lengthy list of personal contacts and a busy social calendar help them feel valuable and important. But depending on other people to make you feel good is like chasing a moving target. You can't control what other people think of you, and you certainly can't please everyone all the time. You'll never be able to receive enough praise and positive reinforcement to genuinely feel good about yourself.

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4. What You Do

A career helps many people feel worthwhile. In fact, many people introduce themselves by saying what they do: "I'm a computer programmer," or "I'm a lawyer." Their job isn't what they do — it's who they are. Their career reinforces to them that they're "somebody." But basing your self-worth on your job title is a big risk. An economic downturn, unexpected shift in the job market, or a major health problem can put an end to your career and lead to a major identity crisis. Even a planned retirement may destroy your self-worth if your identity is tied to your job title. If you've always measured your self-worth by what you do, you won't feel good about yourself when your career ends.

5. What You Achieve

Sometimes people want to be known solely for their achievement. That person who brags about her latest business success may only feel good when she talks about her accomplishments. Or an individual who just can't stop beating himself for a mistake he made might struggle to move forward, because he didn't achieve what he needed to feel good.

While it's normal to feel proud of your accomplishments, basing your entire self-worth on your achievement is like building a house on an unsteady foundation. You'll need to experience constant success to feel good about yourself — and that means you'll likely avoid doing things where you could fail.

How to Feel Good About Who You Are

The way you choose to measure your worth affects the kind of life you'll live. Use a measuring stick based on factors you can control — not the external events in your life.

When you know who you are — and you're pleased with the person you've become — you'll experience a sense of peace through life's inevitable ups and downs. You'll believe in yourself regardless of whether you've been fired, gone through a divorce, or failed to get a promotion.


周五(6/26)1.太在意別人想法 陷入囚籠中 2.你說話的方式 洩漏出性格

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30
板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

Superman at 80: How two high school friends concocted the original ...
太在意別人想法 陷入囚籠中
6 Ways to Care Less About What Other People Think
BY KATHERINE HURST

 Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.’ – Lao Tzu

Now be honest, how much of your time do you spend worrying about what other people think? On some level, we ALL care what the people around us think. As naturally social creatures, it is a completely normal and human desire to want to be accepted and loved for who we are. But there is such a thing as caring too much. And there are ways you can care less about what other people think.



Do you wonder if someone’s talking behind your back? What other people think about your looks, your clothes, your job or the decisions you make? Are you always seeking approval from the people around you?

Because when you care what others think to this extent, you’re making yourself volunteer for a trapped existence of misery and discontent.

The truth is, if you want to blaze your own brilliant trail through this life and to be happy, you’re going to have to learn to not care quite so much. After all, no one ever achieved extraordinary things by listening to every opinion and judgment that ever came their way.

So how do you get past wanting to ‘fit in’ and the worry of what others may or may not think?

For your own happiness and sanity, it’s time to start feeling good about your decisions and your life, regardless of what others have to say on the matter.



Here’s how you can start to care less about what other people think…

1. Stop apologizing.
An easy way to spot whether or not you spend too much time worrying about what others think is if you find yourself constantly apologizing to others for the way that you are.

If you’ve done something wrong and an apology is well warranted in that situation, then go ahead, say sorry!

But don’t get stuck in the habit of apologizing just for being who you are. Standing out from the crowd, expressing different opinions or caring about something that is important to you are no real causes for an apology.

2. Remember what is important to you.
Have you ever made choices or followed a specific path because it’s what others wanted for you, or because you felt that you ‘should’? If so, then you’ll already know that doing this rarely ends well. It doesn’t matter if it’s landing a job you can’t stand but that makes your parents happy, or turning down a big opportunity because you think your friends wouldn’t ‘get it’ – it’s virtually impossible to be happy as anything other than your most authentic self.

You are your own person; use this freedom to take action driven by your own goals. You shouldn’t be out to impress anyone, this is your life remember, so concentrate on what’s important to you.

3. Get out of your head.
Do you have a tendency to over-analyze everything? When we’re worried what others think of us, we can fall into the trap of constantly second-guessing and worrying about our every word and action. Make the decision to stop this immediately. Stop giving away your energy on things you cannot control.

People will judge you. That’s life. But it’s also important to remember that people are judging you nowhere near as much as your head would lead you to believe.

But why worry about what you can’t control anyway? It’s how YOU feel about your choices that is important, so concentrate on making them the very best that they can be, for your own happiness.

6-ways-to-care-less-about-what-other-people-think

4. Be really conscious of who you surround yourself with.
What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? It’s always easier to be yourself and feel good about life when you’re surrounded by people who uplift and inspire you, rather than spending your days surrounded by naysayers and negative people who suck the energy out of your dreams.

Obviously, you’re not always going to see eye to eye with everyone that you meet. And why would you? Life would be boring if we all shared the same ideas and beliefs.

However, having at least a small group of people around with whom you can be your absolute self can be hugely beneficial. After all, the more time you’re able to spend as your absolute authentic self, the happier you’ll be.

T he ultimate goal would be to live every second as your absolute authentic self, but all progress, no matter how small, is something to celebrate.

5. Learn to appreciate and embrace the individuality of others.
Once you’ve learned how to start living your own life free from the worry of what others think and secure in your own individuality, don’t forget to show others the same courtesy.

Try to accept and encourage others in their own uniqueness. Avoid gossiping, thinking negatively about those you don’t understand – and most importantly of all, avoid being quick to judge.

6. Remember – those who don’t care, DO.
Imagine how much simpler and more productive our lives would be if we stopped caring so much about the things that don’t matter, and instead, directed more of our time and energies caring about the things that do. What a happier world this would be!

Understand that your time is limited and use this as the wake-up call you need to start caring less and doing more. So what if your friends think your new business idea will be a big flop?

If it’s important to you, to your happiness, and you believe that it can have a positive impact on the world – why does it matter what others say? If you know in your heart that you’re on the wrong path and want to change direction, why are you worried what others might think?

With the right attitude, the right support and lots of action, you can create and achieve anything that you want. What might be right for one person may be completely wrong for another. We all have different needs and different paths to pursue, so don’t let your fear of what others think stand in your way.
     This Test Will Reveal Your Dominant Personality Trait                                                           你說話的方式 洩漏出性格
The hidden ways your language betrays your character
By Christian Jarrett

The links between personality and language also extend to the written word. When Jacob Hirsh and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto asked students to write about past experiences and future goals, they found that those who scored higher in extroversion tended to make more mention of words pertaining to relationships, which makes sense, the researchers said, as extroverts are “active social explorers”.

But it’s not just about extroversion vs introversion. Their language also revealed other aspects of their personalities – including how open-minded they were (the liberal used more words pertaining to the senses), how neurotic (the highly strung referred more often to emotional angst) and how conscientious (more diligent students used more achievement and work-related words).

Personality also shines through in creative writing. In 2010, a team of German psychologists gave over a 100 student participants five words as prompts (“plane crash,” “parlourmaid,” “fireworks,” “Middle Ages,” and “supermarket”) and then asked them to write a short story that included each of these words. This time more open-minded participants produced more creative stories, while more agreeable participants wrote stories with a more pro-social vibe. What’s more, when a separate group of participants were shown the stories and asked to judge the traits of the authors, they did a pretty good job, at least for the traits of openness and agreeableness.

Most of these studies have looked at the language we use in isolation. But what happens when we chat together? One study found that if you put a bunch of introverts in a room together, they’ll probably end up talking about problem solving (“I've got to look for an apartment because my room mates are driving me nuts”).

In contrast, when extroverts talk to each other they cover a wider range of topics and display more “pleasure talk”, such as “I like jogging” and “Steinbeck is wonderful”. Again this is consistent with what most people already know: in life extroverts tend to be more focused on simply enjoying life.

Of course, these days we also spend our days sending emails, blogging and posting updates to Twitter. And – you guessed it – it seems we betray our personalities in these digital forums too.

By analyzing the content of nearly 700 blogs comprising hundreds of thousands of words, researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that the words people used matched up to the way they reported their own personality: for instance, those who viewed themselves as more agreeable used fewer swear words.

But the team went further, even pinning personality traits down to the use of specific words. High scorers on “openness to experience” were more likely to use the word “ink” and – predictably – extroverts are more likely to say the word "drink".

It’s a similar story on Twitter. Other research has found that extroverts tend to refer to positive emotions and social situations more frequently, while high scorers in neuroticism (or emotional instability) tend to use more first-person singular pronouns, like “I” and “me”. The latter fits with the finding that those experiencing emotional turmoil use these words more liberally.

Extroverts say: “We’re so happy!”

Neurotics say: “I’m having a good time”

Incredibly, these personality associations are so consistent, the same study found that volunteers were able to accurately guess the personality of a total stranger  – how neurotic and agreeable they were – just by reading their tweets.

In fact, it seems we can’t help trying to decipher the personalities of the people we meet from the language they use. We’re constantly judging – right down to a person’s digital labels. Those with more numbers in their email address, for example, are seen as less conscientious. Meanwhile we tend to think that humorous addresses are more likely to belong to extroverts (though this isn’t true).

The idea that we reveal something fundamental about ourselves every time we speak, write or tweet, is a little disconcerting – especially if you generally prefer to keep your character profile to yourself. But it also offers an opportunity to change the way you’re seen by others. In some situations, such as in a job interview or the early stages of dating, it should be possible to adopt a desirable persona, just by changing the language you use. If that’s you I’m guessing your personality is a touch Machiavellian.




周五(6/19)1.通姦無罪/性自由權 2.愛情像選鞋子

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30
板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉
Look Out For These Signs If You Feel You Are Being Cheated
通姦無罪/性自由權
Adultery No Longer Criminal Offense in Taiwan - The News Lens International Edition
Rik Glauert   international.thenewslens

Taiwan’s Constitutional Court on May 29 ruled criminal punishment for adultery is unconstitutional. The landmark verdict ends decades of debate between women’s rights activists and conservative groups who claimed it protected the sanctity of marriage.

The adultery law was a “violation of a person’s sexual autonomy” and “serious invasion of personal privacy,” said Chief Justice and President of the Judicial Yuan, Hsu Tzong-li as he announced the judgment.

Taiwan is the last country in East Asia to decriminalize adultery after South Korea’s Constitutional Court struck down the law in 2015.

According to Article 239 of Taiwan’s Criminal Code, “A married person who commits adultery with another shall be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year; the other party to the adultery shall be subject to the same punishment.”

The adultery law offers limited help to maintaining a marriage” Lin Hui-huang, secretary-general of the Justice Ministry said at a press conference following the ruling. "The state’s interference into people’s marriage has a negative impact on the marriage.”

Women’s rights group, the Awakening Foundation, said the interpretation would ensure “sexual autonomy, privacy, and personal dignity." In a press statement, the foundation welcomed “the new definition of marriage and family that breaks through the constraints of sexual-loyalty based traditional morality and sees the transformation and diversity of marriage in a modern society."

The Taipei-based Awakening Foundation and other activist groups had fought against the law for decades. They claim the law violates the right to privacy and that women are disproportionately prosecuted and convicted under the law.

A 2002 attempt at a constitutional reinterpretation of the adultery law failed, as 18 justices unanimously ruled it constitutional. In 2013, a Ministry of Justice survey found 80 percent of Taiwanese supported keeping the law. But, according to Kuan, support for the law has now dropped to between 60 and 70 percent.

Few people were jailed for adultery because the sentence can be commuted to a fine of about NT$900 (US$30) per day of jail time. But the law was often used as a bargaining chip in divorce settlements, Professor Kuan Hsiao-wei, Associate Professor at the National Taipei University, told The News Lens.

As prosecutions require evidence that the two people have engaged in sexual intercourse, the law has also created an industry of private investigators to catch couples in the act, leading to invasions of privacy, Kuan said.
Taiwan’s outdated adultery law

The Awakening Foundation has been pushing to decriminalize adultery since the 1990s. They shared a few illustrative case studies with The News Lens to show the law’s impact on Taiwanese women.

A young woman was dating a man who, unbeknown to her, was already married. After discovering the affair, the man’s wife sued both of them for adultery. The young woman was left with a hefty fine and a criminal record which prevented her from working with children or finding a job abroad.

One student, who had been sexually assaulted by her married teacher, was reluctant to press charges for assault as it would open her up to adultery prosecution from the teacher’s wife.

In 2015, women made up 58.4 percent of convictions compared to 41.6 percent for men, according to the Awakening Foundation.

For cultural reasons, women are being morally punished more often than men,” said Lin Shiou-yi, director of Research & Development at the foundation, explaining that wives may come to a settlement with their husband but still want to “punish” the woman he had an affair with.

Claims that the law protected marriage are misguided, said Kuan. The Ministry of Justice has been unable to provide data or evidence to the Constitutional Court on how pressing criminal charges has prevented adultery or saved marriages, she said.

When Japan surrendered control of Taiwan in 1945, the Kuomintang’s Civil and Criminal Codes replaced Japanese colonial rules, which had allowed a man to marry several concubines as well as his first wife. The monogamy and apparent gender equality enshrined under the KMT “made sense” to Taiwanese women, according to Kuan.

A monogamous marriage meant equality,” explained Kuan. “After decades of implementation, people believed this is what a marriage should look like, to use criminal punishment to make sure a husband doesn’t stray away.”

Lin encouraged the government to provide more services to help married couples encountering relationship difficulties and to help reduce cultural stigma around divorce.
Vector Row Of Cartoon Color Women Shoes In Perspective On White ...
愛情像選鞋子
Why Choosing A Relationship Is JUST Like Finding The Perfect Shoes
yourtango.com

I've spent an inordinate amount of time sweating my choices. I'm single, dating, and beating myself up for what really amounts to trying on different pairs of shoes.

When I shop, I try things on for size, style, and pleasure. I try to buy what I can afford and what will make me happy overall. If I'm questioning a purchase, or I don't love the item, I have a rule: I walk away. If I'm still contemplating the item after walking away, I go back and buy it.

I love shoes and I have quite a collection. But as many pairs as I have, there's always one pair that gets me through. One pair that goes with just about everything. One pair that stands the test of time.

The best shoes are the ones that make me feel sexy and beautiful; the ones that give me height without pinching. They may be a tad uncomfortable at times and rub until they're properly broken in.

If I spend too many hours in them, I may need a break for a time. But overall, they wear in nicely. They're visually pleasing and go with the majority of my wardrobe.

I especially love shoes that have a bit of an edge and stand out in the crowd for the right reasons. That's my overall style.

What this really translates to? I love a confident, outgoing man that lifts me up and can carry his own.

He may rub me wrong from time to time, but our relationship is easy and uncomplicated. He has his own life and respects that I have mine, so I don't have to wear him everyday, all hours of the day.

How is choosing a relationship any different than finding that perfect pair of shoes? I'll tell you.

Every now and again I re-organize my shoes, putting them into categories. As I do this, I end up returning or giving away a pair or two. Sometimes, I find a pair long forgotten. I dust them of and prance around in them for bit, and reminisce about an old flame.

I may run into an old beau and go on a date or two. One never knows; he may come back into fashion. Or, maybe I remember why I stopped wearing him and put him back in the rarely worn part of my closet.

As I go on my hunt for the perfect shoes, I inevitably buy an unsuitable pair simply because they're on sale. They may be a half size too small, but I will suffer for beauty.

They may even be completely out of my norm style-wise, but for the sake of trying something new, I pick them up anyway. I build an outfit around them, wear them as my toes scrunch up — all because they were on sale and there's something about them I just have to try.

Of course, in the end, I discard them, only missing the money that could've been better spent.

We've all done this: dated the guy with a warning sign across his forehead, or the guy we wouldn't normally date; the guy who is pure eye-candy and no substance.

I justify this kind of dating out of fear of passing someone up that may be the one, typically when nothing else seems to be working. Ultimately and hopefully, we learn our lessons before wasting too much time and energy, just as with shoes.

There's also a pair I regularly visit at Bergdorfs that are absolutely fabulous. They make me feel like a million bucks. I can walk in them, dance in them, dress them up, dress them down. They're literal perfection ... except for one problem: the price tag is in place, but the numbers have been rubbed off. All that remains is a barcode.

I desperately look for the salesperson to scan them. I wander around the store not wanting to let go of these beauties, hoping they're within my budget.

Alas, I find a salesperson but the scanner is broken. I leave my number and put them on hold in hoping to clarify the price before making a commitment.

Sadly and happily, this is my current relationship. The love is there, the attraction is there, but I'm not sure where it's going. I'm afraid of being hurt, so I'm proceeding with caution until I know whether or not he's affordable. As I'm dating him, I'm also continuing to shop and keep my options open.

I return home from Bergdorfs and as I survey where those "perfect" shoes will fit, the phone rings.

The man on the line is like a pair of sexy little pumps in the back of my closet: they're a little closer to the ground than my normal 6 inch heels, visually stimulating, and provide great support; a real solid guy and a great catch.

These pumps cannot make me forget the pair at Bergdorfs, but in the meantime I may need to walk around in these pumps for a bit to see how they fit into my wardrobe.


周五(6/12)1.三天和尚 症候? 2.一生只有一次

聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30
板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉
三日坊主@ zinkou的部落格:: 痞客邦::
三天和尚 症候?
The Three-Day Monk Syndrome   zen habits

    ‘Ninety percent of life is just showing up.’ ~Woody Allen

By Leo Babauta

In the past, and sometimes still, I am often what the Japanese might call a “three-day monk“.

It’s a very common syndrome — you get obsessed with something for a short time, and pour yourself into it, only to stop a few days (or a week or two) later.

How many times have you done this? Be honest. We’ve all done it many times — with exercise, with a blog or journal, with learning something new (like a language), with a new hobby.

A three-day monk gets very little accomplished, because a short intense burst isn’t enough to accomplish meaningful change. How can you get in shape if you exercise for a week and then stop? How can you learn a language, learn programming, learn to write a novel … if you just spend a few days working on it every six months?

The key then is not being a three-day monk, but saying a 20-minute every-day prayer. Not literally a prayer (except that in a sense anything done with devotion is a prayer), and not literally 20 minutes — you can do it for whatever amount of time works for you.

But do show up.

If you can show up every day, and not just do it for a few days, you’ll create meaningful change — in your life, in the lives of others, in the world.

Let’s take a look at how to keep showing up.
How to Beat the Three-Day Monk Syndrome

There is no formula for beating this syndrome, except to do whatever it takes to just show up. You might do very little, you might make mistakes, you might utterly fail. But you show up.

Here are some things that work for me:

    Don’t force yourself. This isn’t about discipline or the torture of making something you hate happen by brute force. It’s about doing something you want to do. So instead of forcing yourself, frame it in a way that makes it something you enjoy doing. A run can be painful drudgery, or a lovely time clearing your head and enjoying the outdoors. Learning Spanish can be a chore you dread, or a way to enjoy great music, learn about a distant culture, discover new films. Trust me: you won’t get very far doing anything if you have to force yourself every day.
    Gradually increase. Throwing yourself full force into something might work for a little while, but it also makes it hard to keep showing up every day. Start small, and each day, just show up. Gradually increase what you do, so that each step along the way it still feels easy and fun.
    Use momentum. Once you’ve gotten going, use the inertial force to keep going. This again is a matter of how you frame things. Each day, showing up can be like trudging up a hill with weight on your back, or it can be like falling forward down a hill. When I run down a hill, it’s almost like I’m falling, except that I keep my feet under me so that I’m falling upright.
    Remind yourself of what you want. You’re doing the activity (exercise, language learning, meditation) presumably because you want to do it. When we stop doing something, it’s because we’ve forgotten that we wanted it. We start to fear it for some reason, and try not to think about it. Instead, think about it, but remind yourself of why you started doing it in the first place. That might mean reading some motivational articles, watching some videos that motivate you, looking at some pics that motivate you, referring to a vision in your head. Or just bookmark this article and come back to it every day.
    Play some music. When I don’t feel like working out, I’ll play a song. Yesterday it was Eminem’s “Lose It”. I became so instantly pumped up that I went to the rowing machine and shredded it for 3 minutes and exhausted myself. So maybe that was a bit of overkill. But there’s no doubt that it helped me to show up.
    Stop with the doubts. Everyone has doubts sometimes, but they can either be overcome, or they can stop us from showing up. Do you doubt that you can stick to something for a long time? Forget about the doubt, and just do it. Be sure that you’re going to do it at least one more time. When you prove yourself right, make a note of that, and then be sure that you’re going to do it one more time. Don’t even allow yourself to imagine that you won’t.
ichigo-ichie_logo.png (1062×615) | Japanese tattoo

一生只有一次 (一期一會)
Once in a lifetime vs once-in-a-lifetime

Once in a lifetime is a phrase that means an event or opportunity that is not likely to be repeated. The phrase once in a lifetime was first recorded in 1854, and can mean an event or opportunity that literally will not be repeated within one’s lifetime, or more usually, is an exaggeration that refers to an event or opportunity that happens very infrequently.

Every Encounter is a Once in a Lifetime Occasion
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‘One time, One meeting’
Ichi-go ichi-e (Japanese: 一期一會, lit. "one time, one meeting") is a Japanese four-character idiom (yojijukugo) that describes a cultural concept of treasuring the unrepeatable nature of a moment. The term has been translated as "for this time only," and "once in a lifetime." The term reminds people to cherish any gathering that they may take part in, citing the fact that any moment in life cannot be repeated; even when the same group of people get together in the same place again, a particular gathering will never be replicated, and thus each moment is always a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The concept is most commonly associated with Japanese tea

Ichi-go ichi-e’ is a Japanese idiom which roughly translates as ‘one time, one meeting’. It is used as a reminder that each encounter we have with a person or group of people will never be repeated. Even if we meet with those people regularly, that one particular encounter with them is unique.

According to the Japanese Tea Culture Glossary, the expression has been traced back to a 16th century Japanese tea master, Sen no Rikyū. The concept was later elaborated on in the 19th century by Ii Naosuke: “Even though the host and guests may see each other often socially, one day's gathering can never be repeated exactly. Viewed this way, the meeting is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.”

Indeed, it’s interesting to reflect on how our experiences with family and friends over the holidays, or even with our co-workers when we return to our routines, might take on a deeper significance if we were to view each encounter in this way.

We might sometimes feel that life is rather monotonous: we may see the same people, and do the same things every year. But if we can bring more mindfulness to these occasions we may find that life actually presents us with many new and unique moments, if we just adjust our perspective a little.