週二(10/2)1.精神出軌?2.毒舌 會留傷害嗎?

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

精神出軌?

Signs You're Having an Emotional Affair

By Marni Feuerman

If you are not quite sure if you are having an emotional affair, here are nine signs that indicate you probably are:

    Frequent contact when you are not together. You frequently communicate with this person and at questionable hours. You devote a lot of time texting, emailing, or video calling this person.

    You discuss very personal topics, such as the problems in your current relationship. You share all or most of your problems and concerns with this person. As you do this, you also grow more discontent with your spouse.

    This person takes over your thoughts.  You think about him or her constantly. This person is on your mind when you wake up in the morning, when you go to sleep at night, and a lot of time in between. You have this person in mind when you are getting dressed, hoping he or she will notice your appearance.

    You spend a lot of time together. You find excuses or create reasons to spend time with him or her.

    He or she becomes the first person you want to call with any “news.” You have some exciting news to share or you have had a bad day and this is the person whom you call. You may not be sharing much at all with your spouse anymore.

    You believe this person really “gets” you. You start to feel like he or she really understands you, even better than your spouse.

    You start to lie or keep secrets. This usually entails lying by omission. If you purposely do not tell your spouse about your talks, meetings, lunches, texts and phone calls, alarm bells should be ringing! Are you deleting messages from your phone or do you deny the communication you have with him/her when asked? If you are hiding things or lying when you know deep down that the behavior is not okay. Would you be mortified if your spouse heard a taped conversation between you two?

    You frequently compare your spouse to him or her. You may get angry with your spouse for not doing things like the other person does. You start to idealize this person while your partner begins to look worse in your eyes. You may find yourself being more critical of your spouse. This is sure to create a good guy/bad guy dynamic between these two people.

    Your spouse gets less of you while your special person gets more. Whether it is less communication, affection, your thoughts, or your innermost world, your time and focus are taken from your partner and transferred to this other person.

  

毒舌 會留傷害嗎?

Does a sharp tongue leave lasting wounds?

dormgrandpop.blogspot.

Does every family gathering include one: An individual who seems to take pleasure in using his or her sharp tongue as a rapier to wound others, with particular attention directed at those closest to them? For some unbeknownst reason, in my family, I seem to be the favorite object of one such individual’s thrusts, which are often struck at my most unguarded moments, not infrequently with other friends and relatives present to serve as an embarrassed audience.

In yesterday’s instance the cut was evoked by my offer to drive to an event for which we were late (My habit of driving the speed limit, unless really pressed, is a source of some amusement, especially among younger family members) But the object of scorn can be almost anything. It is the frequency of the rapier thrusts and the skill with which they seek out vulnerable targets, rather than any specific theme that is an ever-present reality. My natural response is to give such an individual a wide birth and to keep defenses up when we are together. But this is hardly basis for a healthy familial relationship. Another is to respond in kind, escalating an offhand insult into a full blown conflict over nothing very substantial. This, too, seems counterproductive.

In an unguarded moment, my relative once provided insight why sarcasm, contemptuous asides and not-so-veiled insults are such a routine element in her discourse, especially with those who are – or seek to be – close to her. He was not referring to himself, but the words rang true. “I guess it is a defense mechanism,” he said. “People use sarcasm as a defense mechanism to cover up vulnerability, to hide what they are feeling and to keep people from getting too close to them.”

So “does a sharp tongue leave lasting wounds?” To be fully armored against the wounds of my relative’s tongue, though I know his insults have little to do with real shortcomings, seems impossible. If fact to go through life perpetually armored (even if that were possible) must be unhealthy. But over time, with practice, reflection and counseling, I have come to recognize that only the most blatant attacks need evoke any response at all.

Perhaps only a saint could live his or her life fully according to the Apostle Paul’s admonition in his first letter to the Christians of Corinth: “Love… is not easily angered [and] keeps no record of wrongs.”

I am no saint, but I have learned that keeping a record of wrongs is harmful to mind, body and soul. Sometimes, my relative’s sharp tongue will inflict its intended wounds, but I can choose not to have the wounds be lasting.

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周六(9/29)1.好好說了「對不起」2. 看護 虐待癱瘓老人

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    星期六 聚會時間為下午4:00-6:00

如果那時候，好好說了「對不起」

 ‘Why won’t you apologize?’

By Dannye Romine Powell

Is there someone in your life who owes you an apology?

Or, by chance, is there someone in your life to whom you owe an apology?

Either way, it’s downright tricky.

According to a book due in January, “Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts,” by Harriet Lerner, apologies matter.

Isn't it time you subscribed?

“I’m sorry,” are the two most healing words n the English language, says Lerner. “When they are spoken as part of a wholehearted apology, these words are the greatest gift we can give to the person we have offended.”

But, according to Lerner, some people can’t apologize. In this book, she tells you why. (The person might be too shame-based, among other reasons).

She also tells you the five best ways to ruin an apology (for one, watch out for the sneaky little add-on of “but”).

She gives suggestions on how to respond to criticism (”I want you to know I’m going to keep thinking about what you’ve told me.”)

Why Apologies Are Difficult

With all these negative consequences, why do some people still refuse to apologize?

First, apologies take courage. When you admit that you were wrong, it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can open you up to attack or blame. Some people struggle to show this courage.

Alternatively, you may be so full of shame and embarrassment over your actions that you can't bring yourself to face the other person.

Or, you may be following the advice "never apologize, never explain." It's up to you if you want to be this arrogant, but, if you do, don't expect to be seen as a wise or an inspiring leader.

看護 虐待癱瘓老人

Foreign worker films Taiwanese care...

Taiwan News

TAIPEI (Taiwan News) -- A foreign caregiver has released video on social media of a Taiwanese caregiver cursing, slapping and choking an elderly disabled patient.

Early this morning, a foreign caregiver surnamed Lu (呂) uploaded two videos to the Facebook Group Breaking News Commune (爆料公社) showing a Hakka-speaking Taiwanese caregiver curse, choke, slap and kick an elderly woman in a wheelchair. Lu told UDN that the video was shot when a colleague took her to Taichung's Dongshi District to take over for a Taiwanese caregiver, who was responsible for providing care for an elderly woman surnamed Liu (劉), who was wheelchair-bound and wearing a nasal cannula.

The Taiwanese caregiver began demonstrating the "procedures" for caring for Liu, but the foreign caregiver quickly came to the conclusion that her Taiwanese counterpart's behavior was a clear case of abuse. The foreign caregiver refused to take the position and instead secretly videoed the abuse the Taiwanese woman dealt out on her helpless patient, before posting the footage on various social media groups to seek help for the "grandma."

Taiwanese caregiver slapping her patient. (Still from Breaking News Commune)

The first video starts with the Taiwanese caregiver cursing in Hakka and saying "still running to another person's house to eat." She then slaps Liu in the face and as she tries to lift her hand up, the caregiver grabs it and twists it back down.

Liu makes a moaning sound and the caregiver slaps her in the face. The patient moans again, only to be slapped again and have her hands twisted back down.

Caregiver twisting hand over her patient. (Still from Breaking News Commune)

Liu then tries to kick the caregiver to release the grip she has on her wrists, and her tormentor shouts in Hakka "don't do that." The invalid woman then tries to kick again, and the caregiver shouts "Come on! Kick it again, come on, kick it again! I am waiting for you! In fact, I will bend your fingers, come on, say it again!"

The caregiver then forcefully kicks her patient's feet at least four times.

Because the caregiver behaved cruelly, the Department of Social Welfare will continue to monitor the situation. They said that if the cousin continues to take care Liu, she must receive family education and a nursing training course. If they do not see any improvement in the situation, they will file a protection order or apply for resettlement for Liu, according to the Apple Daily report.

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週四 (9/27)1.送禮有多重要! 2.人際交流技巧

    板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

送禮有多重要!

How important is gift giving in a relationship?       quora

Everyone loves gifts! Who does not, as gifts have a unique warmth to them. Everyone who has been gifted knows the feeling. It feels great to be of importance to your loved ones & even more better to be appreciated with gifts! This is precisely why the role of gifts cannot be overstated in any relationship - especially in relationships of the heart! Gifts do indeed make the heart grow fonder, which is precisely why we would like to explain to you the importance of gifts in relationships!

# Gifts play a pivotal role at every stage of a relationship between a girlfriend & a boyfriend. In spite of this, many a times we notice that couples do not exchange a lot of gifts. Although love gifts aren't the only things essential to building a relationship, they sure do help express your love & feelings at times when words tend to fall short.

# Love gifts can help you initiate a relationship with a guy or girl you may have been crushing over since a long time. Your gifts don't have to extravagant or over the top ones - even a budget - friendly gift presented beautifully can convey the deepest feelings & emotions of your heart.

# Once you are in a relationship, it is mandatory to gift each other to appreciate their presence in your life. Gifting when in a relationship invokes feelings of happiness, gratefulness & anticipation. If your relationship has just begun, start with romantic love gifts. In case your loved one is practical & not very romantic, invest in practical gifts for boyfriend or girlfriend but do add in your romantic touch to them by having them personalised.

# Women usually love gifts that are romantic & these make them feel appreciated, admired & loved in a relationship. On the other hand buying gifts for boyfriend makes him feel that he is contributing his best to your relationship & will make him try harder towards making your relationship sweeter! Gifts thus have the power to maintain relationships in the long run, so make sure you gift your partner!

# Gifting can also help when your relationship is on the rocks. No relationship is problem free & this is where gifting can help you! A small gift item accompanied by a well written love note addressing the issue of importance during this strenuous time will be one of the best gifts for boyfriend. Gifts also help ward off bitter feelings & jealousy which can arise in young relationships. The simple act of gifting can surprise your partner & make them cherish you. If you are a man gifting his girlfriend, make it a point to remember all the small first moments you two have shared as a couple & gift her on those days!

Gifting is rightly said to be an art. You should master it in order to add the best to your relationship. Always make sure that the gift comes from your heart & personalise it to suit your partner & make it unique to them. Remember that a little thought given to the right gift can go a long way in smoothing rough edges in your relationship & increasing your reputation as a boyfriend or girlfriend!

  

人際交流技巧

The People Skills You Need To Succeed At Work

Jacquelyn Smith   forbes.com

Patience with others. “If you're patient with others and can keep a level head in stressful situations, it will definitely be noticed by management and perceived as a very strong asset,” says Amy Hoover, president of Talent Zoo. “When your boss is forced to deal with a situation where people have lost their cool he or she will certainly remember the troublemakers when the next promotion comes available.”

The ability to trust others. You can only accelerate your career if you’re trustworthy. “Without it, you can’t get projects done or get cooperation,” Taylor says. “No one can operate in a vacuum for long.”

Knowing how and when to show empathy. “Having the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes is a key people skill,” says Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, star of MTV’s Hired! and author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad. It allows us to create relationships with others, provides insights into people’s motives and allows us to predict responses.

“Offer support, sympathy and feedback in your daily business life,” Taylor suggests. “It will bring you positive emotional returns – part of ‘corporate karma.’” If you contribute to a dehumanized company, both you and your employer will have limited growth potential, she says.

Hockett reminds us that things are not always black and white, and in order to have effective relationships with others we need to show compassion where appropriate. “In a perfect world there would be no hiccups, but life happens and knowing when to show compassion when others face challenges is important.”

Active listening skills. Hearing someone and actively listening to them are two different things, Hockett explains. Most people hear someone speak and start to form a response in their mind (or worse, starting talking) before the person finishes what they’re saying. “The key is to actively listen, which takes more time but produces better results. It means you listen without interruption and then take the time to think and form a response before replying. It takes practice, but it pays off.”

Taylor says the axiom “we were given two ears and one mouth” speaks volumes. “Be a good listener and remain sensitive to the needs of your workers and boss. This people skill can be practiced; and once honed, you’ll see the difference in the positive reaction of those around you.”

Genuine interest in others. People know when you’re truly interested in them, Kahn says. “If you’re not showing a genuine interest – asking thoughtful questions and considering about their answers – your interaction can actually have an opposite effect to the one intended. Take care to remember names, dates and important life events.”

Good judgment. Good judgment is a key people skill that comes directly from learning, listening to others and observing the world around you, Kahn says. “It allows you to wisely select friends and associates, determine reactions and responses, and make sound decisions.”

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週四 (9/20)1.如果可以長生不老2.快速生活型態影響

    板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:00-9:30

如果可以長生不老，你願意嗎？

How Long Do You Want to Live?

DAVID EWING DUNCAN  Nytimes

SINCE 1900, the life expectancy of Americans has jumped to just shy of 80 from 47 years. This surge comes mostly from improved hygiene and nutrition, but also from new discoveries and interventions: everything from antibiotics and heart bypass surgery to cancer drugs that target and neutralize the impact of specific genetic mutations.

Now scientists studying the intricacies of DNA and other molecular bio-dynamics may be poised to offer even more dramatic boosts to longevity. This comes not from setting out explicitly to conquer aging, which remains controversial in mainstream science, but from researchers developing new drugs and therapies for such maladies of growing old as heart disease and diabetes.

 “Aging is the major risk factor for most diseases,” says Felipe Sierra, director of the Division of Aging Biology at the National Institute on Aging. “The National Institutes of Health fund research into understanding the diseases of aging, not life extension, though this could be a side effect.”

How many years might be added to a life? A few longevity enthusiasts suggest a possible increase of decades. Most others believe in more modest gains. And when will they come? Are we a decade away? Twenty years? Fifty years?

Even without a new high-tech “fix” for aging, the United Nations estimates that life expectancy over the next century will approach 100 years for women in the developed world and over 90 years for women in the developing world. (Men lag behind by three or four years.)

Whatever actually happens, this seems like a good time to ask a very basic question: How long do you want to live?

Over the past three years I have posed this query to nearly 30,000 people at the start of talks and lectures on future trends in bioscience, taking an informal poll as a show of hands. To make it easier to tabulate responses I provided four possible answers: 80 years, currently the average life span in the West; 120 years, close to the maximum anyone has lived; 150 years, which would require a biotech breakthrough; and forever, which rejects the idea that life span has to have any limit at all.

快速生活型態影響

What are the pros and cons of a fast paced life?     quora

The disadvantages are that you don’t have enough time. For example, spend time with friends, family, do what you want in free time. BUT! You don’t have free time when you have fast paced lifestyle. Also it takes a harm to the health, because people don’t take care of them, that’s why it leads to different mental health issues, mood, behavior disorders, because they are full of red mist, anger. Because of this we have physical, emotional, mental problems. Anyway, the result is people who have fast paced lifestyle likely to die earlier.

The benefits are that when you are overscheduled and spread yourself too thin, it safes us. Because when you are in a hurry, you don’t think that the life is a difficult thing. Fast pace lifestyle can be interesting. For example, when you aren’t at home from morning till late evening, because you are involved in so many activities. There are people who think that to live in a fast pace is normal. They prefer career and money more than family and get a gratification from fast pace and being busy.

Give people something new and they will come up with problem or solution. The old generation accustomed to slow life. They do not understand the rat race because they do not see the point of that. May be they live are longer because they did not have gadgets and they chatted and looked into the eyes of someone they have known for a very long time.

There are some aids of fast-paced life, for instance: person came from a little town to the big city. Person is changing fundamentally with new lifestyle beginning with mindset and ending with waiver of habits. As I know changing of habits are the good way of successful life. Sure, there are some bad sides of fast-paced life such as impossibility to relax fully, problems with sleep schedule and gastric problems because we eat junk food in order to be not late at work.

In spite of them make us stronger, mentally better and more flexible.

A fast paced life has many cons as well as pros. I'll start with the pros. Firstly, it simplifies our life. It is really easy for us to wash clothes in a washing automat and get to work by car. This is all due to the evolving technology. Secondly, in a rapidly developing life, a person can develop differently. For example, we can well master of IT, cooking, economics and management at the same time. Because for this there is every possibility if you remove laziness. You can ask whether it is possible to develop in a slowly developing pace of life? Of course you can. But in this case, the person will not have such thirst and haste to absorb all the information and develop.

Let's talk about the cons. In the fast pace of life, people are constantly chaotic lifestyle. They during the rush hour to work and get stuck in traffic jams. They lose their temper because they can not reach their destination in a timely manner. They can not control anger and because of this they swear and this leads them into a rage. People are used to being connected and do not want to skip a stop to the fast paced of life. Because of this, they can not enjoy life to the fullest. They do not pay enough time to the family, friends, themselves. They can't eat enjoying, walking in the morning to work breathing fresh air, reading classics, meditating. They miss many small pleasures of life.

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