周五 (3/26) 1. 情緒像天氣 2.如何有平靜的心

 新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

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情緒像天氣
Emotions Are Like The Weather
 
Sometimes we have sunny days, weeks, even months. Take this summer, for example, for me I remember it being very sunny most of the time. Other times the weather is awful, we go for weeks without an inch of sunshine, and the rain keeps hammering down, sometimes we even get thunder and lightning.
 
It’s a little bit like our emotions. Often, we’re feeling good for days, weeks, or even months. All of a sudden, the pitter-patter of rain starts. Unlike the weather, we can change whether we decide we would like these emotions to manifest, and develop into a full rainstorm, or whether we put up our umbrella until it passes and let the sunshine through the clouds.
 
I am not talking about depression, or other mental health disorders, because we are well aware that these are sicknesses which you can’t cure by telling it to get better. If you said to your broken leg ‘it’s ok, you can be better now’ would it? No. It needs time to heal and regain strength.
 
What I am talking about is our reaction to situations, and how we respond to external influences on our lives, and in particular, negative ones.
 
An example:
 You are at work on a Friday afternoon, and your boss forwards you across a bunch of work to your inbox.
 
Do you?:
 
Crack on with it, get it done, and embrace the weekend with open arms at 5:00 PM or
 
Let it get you down and substantially affect your mindset over the weekend. Spend the whole weekend thinking about getting yourself a new job because you are so sick of your boss, only to return to work Monday as nothing happened.
 
For a lot of people, subconsciously they will be option B. Like rainclouds, followed by thunder and lightning, they will allow the feelings to manifest inside of them and enter into a cycle of negative emotions.
 
The difference for person A is that they understand that they can have no control over the negative influence, but what they can control is the way they react to it. They understand that if they enable the feelings to manifest, the only person they are affecting on is themselves, and therefore they can pop up their brolly and wave goodbye to the rain clouds.
 
Here are my top tips to avoid an emotional raincloud:
 
1) Reduce the fear by rationalising. Our minds often play tricks on us and tell us that things are a lot worse than what they are. This leads to us catastrophising the situation and therefore adding to the cycle of emotion. A good way to rationalise is by telling a friend or family member and chatting through the situation. Often you will realise that it is not all doom and gloom and you can pop up the brolly and crack on!
 
2) It’s nothing personal. In addition to catastrophising things, a lot of people take stuff personally. The likelihood is, your boss dumping the work on your desk at 4 PM on a Friday is nothing personal. Your boss has time pressures that they have to keep to, and you are employed to help meet those goals. Your boss is not picking on you, likelihood is they just need something done. This can often be explained through colours and miscommunication. You can read about the DISC colours in my book, Secrets of Successful Sales.
 
3) The disparity of Balls. In our business, we use ‘ALISON EDGAR’S BIG BALLS’ and I’ve taught the methodology around the globe. Everybody loves it. It’s a simple alternative to Stephen Covey’s Quadrant of Time Management, and we bring it to life by using Trello.
 
Basket Balls – Things that are very important and need doing straight away
 
Tennis Balls – Less important Tasks, but if not done soon will turn into a basketball
 
Ping Pong Balls – Small tasks than are longer-term, can develop into bigger balls if left too long.
 
If the whole company can talk in balls, it makes it a lot easier for everyone to comprehend what is urgent. If your boss dumped the work on your desk at 4 PM and said, ‘it’s a tennis ball’, you would understand that it didn’t need to be done immediately, and therefore the raincloud of emotions to follow wasn’t necessary.
 
4) Preparation is key! It’s hard to talk too much around this point without delving deep into my methodology, but if you are aware of the colours of your colleagues, how they act and how they behave, it’s far easier to prepare and understand what you are going to be up against. For me, I am a high red and I hadn’t been in the office all week this week. Rebecca came into the office to see me yesterday during my first day back, she knew I would want to get straight to the point and so had written down all of the tasks we needed to discuss. I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to adapt to the people around you, and when you do you will see how much easier the rainstorms are to fight off.
 
 如何有平靜的心
5 Simple Ways to Increase Your Peace of Mind
By Henrik Edberg Updated August 25, 2020
 
While explaining stress management to an audience, the lecturer raised a glass of water and asked ‘How heavy is this glass of water?'
 
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
 
The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn't matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it.  If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.  If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.  If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.  In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
 
He continued, “And that's the way it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.”
 
“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”
 
“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.  Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.  Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.”
 
Here are 5 simple ways to increase your peace of mind:
 
   Trending Video: The Top 3 Ways to Motivate Yourself
♪Play Video
1. Do your most daunting task first thing in the morning
 
It's tempting to start your day with easy tasks. Don't. Pushing a daunting task back is like holding a glass of water in an outstretched arm.
 
At first nothing happens, but if you do it for hours or even days, you will soon feel the stress.
 
Do the most annoying task first thing in the morning, and enjoy increased productivity and peace of mind for the rest of the day.
 
2. Let go of things you don't control
 
You make plans to go outside with friends. But at the last minute, it starts raining. What's your reaction?
 
Some people upset and angry, and find the nearest person and start complaining to them. “It's not FAIR that it's raining. This _always_ happens to me!…”
 
That's not going to accomplish anything – the rain won't stop just because you throw a tantrum. *The rain doesn't care.*
 
So make the best of the situation.
 
What I do in such situation is go for a quick walk in the park (because rain has its own awesomeness), or just lie in bed reading a good Terry Pratchett book, listening to the rain beating on my window.

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周五 (3/12) 1. 現代愛情觀 2.生活型態與老化

 新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉 --- 板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

聚會時間:   PM 7:00--9:30

現代愛情觀
This Is How Society Defines Love
Ugur Akdemir / Unsplash thoughtcatalog
 
Our society does not know what love is.
 
Society tells us love is 2 a.m. text messages telling someone how lonely you are. Society thinks love is one night stands and pointless hookups. Society defines love as something that selfishness satisfies your own desires.
 
Relationships these days are centered around physical connections rather than emotional ones.
 
Society thinks that love is disposable.
 
Love has become text messages and phone calls. Love has become Instagram posts, Snapchats, and staring at a screen.
 
Love in this century is crawling back to a person who has hurt, manipulated, and lied to you. Telling yourself and others around you that this is what love looks like and it will get better in time. People have convinced themselves that brokenness and devastation is what “tough love” looks like. Love and heartbreak have become interchangeable words.
 
What happened to writing each other love letters? Or holding hands walking down the street with someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with? What happened to getting to know someone before climbing into their bed on the first date?
 
Our society teaches us that you should have pride in the number of people that you have slept with. Society says that dressing a certain way will make someone desire you. Society tells us to love in our own way but does not allow us to define what love is.
 
People have become scared to fall in love. Did you know that almost half of marriages end in divorce? Our society has taught us that it is okay to walk away, even if you vow you never will.
 
Stop allowing society to define love. Start writing love letters again and having long conversations in coffee shops. Begin to realize that you do not need to immediately become intimate with someone to make them fall in love with you. Love can make you feel whole and it can make you feel empty; maybe that is why love is so overwhelmingly beautiful.
 
Love is beautiful. Love is special. Love is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Do not allow love to be defined by this broken society anymore.
 
What is love in this generation?
 
Or I should say the so kinda relationships! Which doesn’t usually work for more than a year. Nowadays relationships are just for the sake of recognition. People get to know you are in a relationship, that’s it. By seeing those people, the youth which is single wants to get into a relationship. Love has vanished from this generation. Just for your social life to become interesting you start talking to people. Whether you have something for them or not. Not even that, some relationships are for advantages they can get from the latter person. Or maybe if you are dating a person who is very beautiful, that’s considered as an achievement.
 
The real meaning of love is lost. Lost as in that I don’t think so we can get it back. What unconditional love was there in the ’80s, without any conditions, with no pros or cons, is not there anymore. Every relationship with anyone starts with a purpose. And when relationships break, usually the purpose won't be satisfying anymore. An individual is becoming shallow day by day. Leaving its own individuality for others who won't care about you after a certain point of time. Why do we usually change? We change because others want a change in us. But while changing we don’t see its feasible or not. Whether it is for our own good or not.

生活型態與老化
How your lifestyle impacts how well you age | Scrubbing In
Dr. Claudia Harsh 
 
As time ticks on, it is certain that we are all getting older. As we age, some of us are resisting the inevitable, fighting to preserve a more youthful appearance. Others are harming their bodies through smoking or lack of sleep, all the while speeding up the biological aging process.
 
The truth is, no one knows how much longer they have in this life. However, some experts do try to predict a person’s average lifespan. They do this using a life table or actuarial table. These tables show the probability of death and average number of years remaining for each age. For example, for a 50-year-old male has an estimated 29.53 more years of life, while a 50-year-old female is predicted to have 33.09 years of life remaining.
 
    Here’s the truth. It doesn’t matter so much how many years you have left, but how you are aging.
 
It is true that your body may slow down sooner than you thought, and it could rapidly impact the quality of your years ahead. Aging can be a difficult issue to examine, especially because people seem to age at wildly different rates.
What does it mean to age well?
 
Many researchers have been exploring what it means to age well over time. One novel study followed 1,037 young adults in Dunedin, who were monitored and measured over many years. The experts analyzed 18 different biomarkers to see if there was a different rate of aging between the study participants. Researchers looked at measures such as weight, body mass index, lung function (FEV and FEV1/FVC), hemoglobin A1c, mean arterial blood pressure, and cholesterol levels of the participants.
 
Upon analyzing the results, researchers found it possible to determine someone’s “pace of aging” at a relatively young age. This means that someone in their 20s or 30s could potentially know how fast their body would slow down and begin to age based on a few key indicators.
 
    Related: 7 healthy habits to adopt in your 20s
 
Dunedin Study Director, Professor Richie Poulton, says when they looked at the biomarkers at members at age 38, they were able to set ‘biological ages’ for each person. In contrast to the participant’s chronological ages, these ranged from under 30 to nearly 60 years.
Can we slow down aging?
 
If we can analyze the rate of aging, can we also slow it down? Experts are now trying to find ways to slow down the aging process, but can it be done? The short answer is yes — we can probably change the pace of aging.
 
We know that aging is a gradual and progressive deterioration over multiple organ systems, and the aging population continues to grow. As the abstract of the study states, “Anti-aging interventions are needed to reduce the burden of disease and protect population productivity.”
Lifestyle modifications
 
    So the next question will be: If we can determine the pace of aging, is there something we can do now to slow or alter the progression of chronic illness and other burdens that tend to speed the aging process?
 
It seems that there are many lifestyle factors within our control that can help decrease aging. The study found before midlife, individuals who were aging more rapidly were less physically able, showed cognitive decline and brain aging, self-reported worse health and looked older.
Nutrition.
 
The problem with studies on nutrition is that is very difficult to quantify what and how much the study subjects are eating. Preliminary data suggests that a mostly plant-based diet which is combined with regular fasting appears to make the biggest difference in inflammatory biomarkers and the pace of aging.
Psychosocial stressors.
 
Additional factors that appear to make a difference are psychosocial stressors such as poverty or early life adversity. It seems clear that we can positively impact the pace of aging by stable home lives and managing stress in a healthy way.
Genetics.
 
Genetics do play a role in aging, according to Lenox Hill Hospital internist Dr. Len Horovitz. He points out that family genetics can sometimes even be biologically slower in families.
 
    Related: 6 things you should know about genetic testing
 
Although the medical contributor from CBS says genetics account for about 20 percent of how people age, environmental and lifestyle factors seem to play a much larger role.
 
 
                                                                                                

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