陽光甜味咖啡館 Sun Sweet Cafe

We meet right here every Tuesday, Friday and Saturday evening.

Dare to dream!

勇敢夢!

LOVE YOURSELF!

愛自己!

周五(8/1)1.困窘的工作2.嫁入豪門

周五聚會地點: 快提café  700PM-- 9:30PM新北市板橋區文化路一段387巷10號 (沿著新埔捷運站1號出口左方向前走約100公尺 經過新埔郵局看到康是美 從信義房屋旁的巷子進入)    連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy
說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
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困窘的工作

I’m Embarrassed To Talk With My Family About My Job
(thegrindstone by Ruth Graham)
Just about anyone getting started in a career faces a moment in which you’re a bit embarrassed to tell your family what you really do all day: “I fold sweaters.” “I fetch coffee.” “I audition over and over.” “I make copies.” If you feel a little bashful about your current career status, take comfort in these extreme stories from people who really hate talking with their families about their jobs. Read on for stories from a pet psychic whose family thinks she’s a con artist, a Butterball Turkey employee with vegan parents, and the daughter of an investment banker who paid for her own posh lifestyle by working as an escort.
I am a medium, intuitive, horse whisperer and pet psychic. I am NOT ALLOWED to talk about my work at family functions. I have a brother who is very open to what I do and he is very spiritual so we sneak off and talk about it. My sister is jealous so I don’t talk about how well I am doing in front of her.
My mom and stepdad don’t believe in anything that I do. My stepdad thinks I am a con artist. He thinks when you die, that’s it. Your consciousness doesn’t continue. I feel so positive about my work because I have helped thousands of people and their pets and even saved lives for over 22 years. I have hundreds of repeat clients. I teach them to become empowered, not co-dependent on me and the guidance that comes through for them.
At last Thanksgiving, my brother’s dog was so anxious – he has OCD anyway. I told my brother in front of everyone that he is having trouble keeping track of his toys – he wants them all together. One toy was a hexagonal ball which was hollow. I put all his other toys in the ball and gave it back to him. He put his paw on it and promptly went to sleep. Everyone laughed but I could see my parents were very uncomfortable with what I just did.
I don’t have an ego because it is the kiss of death when doing intuitive work so I really don’t care or mind that most of my family doesn’t like it or understand it. I know that everyone is on their own path and they get it when they get it. I never feel it is my responsibility to convince anyone of the validity of my work.
Questions:
Are you embarrassed to tell your job to your family and friends?
Do you have an uncommon job?
What is the most embarrassing job that you can think of?
What is the most embarrassing thing you have done in a job?
Do you like your job?
What are the ways to enjoy your job?
What to do when you hate your job?
What are the reasons you hate your job?
How to start a business in Taiwan?
How to get a better job?
Are you burned out on your job? Why?

嫁入豪門
Men seek beauty, women want wealth    By Roger Highfield

The new research confirms that, while humans may pride themselves on being highly evolved, men really do go for an attractive mate - though will make do with someone who falls somewhat short of this ideal - while women - apparently understanding this - adjust their desire for a "high-quality" mate according to how attractive they perceive themselves to be. In other words, beautiful women want rich men.

That is the conclusion of research published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences by Peter Todd, of Indiana University, Lars Penke, of Humboldt University, Berlin, Barbara Fasolo, of the London School of Economics, and Alison Lenton, of the University of Edinburgh.

Mr Todd said the problem with earlier work that suggested that likes attract was that the scientists had simply asked people about preferences while today's work showed what they actually did in a real world setting - a commercial speed dating operation with 46 people in Munich.

After the session, in which each potential pair of subjects met briefly and recorded their interest in dating one another again, the researchers compared what they said they were looking for with what they actually did. In their self-assessments, subjects claimed their ideal mate would be similar to themselves. However, in the dating session, men and women acted in line with evolutionary theory.

"We found that what men and women say they want is not the same as what they actually choose and that the actual choices made by men and women accord with a rough evolutionary-predicted trade-off, in this case between men's overall mate value [combining their wealth and status, family commitment and health] and women's self-perceived attractiveness," said Mr Todd.

Women dominate this trade-off, he said, because "men are much less discriminating".

Although people may claim otherwise, beauty is the key for men, since it signifies "good genes", while women, the choosier of the sexes, leverage their looks for security, fitness and commitment.
Questions:
What do you think the title “men seek beauty, women want wealth”?  
Do you agree the idea that men really do go for an attractive mate/ beauty is the key for men?
Why many beautiful actress want to marry the rich?
Why do women want to marry the rich men?
How to marry someone who is rich?
Pros and cons of marrying a rich man?
Is marry rich guys’ guaranty of happiness?

Let’s discuss “marriage, money and happiness”?
真的嫁了!徐若瑄峇里島浪漫嫁李云峰 
39歲的徐若瑄(Vivian)今年25日與新加坡富商李云峰登記結婚,29 日晚上在峇里島舉辦浪漫海島婚禮,婚禮過程溫馨感人,李云峰送給老婆的結婚禮物是他譜曲、Vivian填詞,兩人共同創作的一首中板情歌《直到遇見你》,為在婚禮上表演,他還跟Live band認真練習了兩天,希望給老婆一個完美回憶!
▲徐若瑄和老公李云峰的峇里島婚禮,浪漫至極。
小倆口與家人前兩天陸續前往峇里島為私人婚禮做最後的準備,徐若瑄非常緊張也充滿喜悅,此次峇里島婚宴是由李云峰親自籌劃,他非常細心,已前往當地數次準備婚宴過程的大小事宜,包含飯店、試菜、現場布置以及為賓客挑選禮物等細節,完美主義性格在此一覽無遺。

今天婚宴伴娘是徐若瑄25年的「少女隊」好友王思涵,伴郎是李云峰的好友,婚宴主持人是中英文流利的聶雲也是徐的好友,婚宴於傍晚開始進行,由於是在戶外舉行婚宴,現場的花材以水藍、白色、和一點粉紅為主,禮服主題是「淺色亞麻風」,每位嘉賓都精心打扮,為這場私人婚宴帶來些許度假的浪漫北非電影風。Vivian 和好姐妹王思涵、林心如、名媛陳浥萍合影時真是美呆了。

週二(7/29)1.復興航空墬機2.機器人將成必需品

周二聚會點  丹提咖啡 寶慶店  晚上7:00~9:30台北市延平南路107號
(西門捷運站3號出口 往前走30公尺 向左看到全家便利商店巷進入 / 在中山堂對面)
連絡電話: 0976217450   Billy 
說吧!英文讀書會  完全免費  練習英文  交流知識  交友談心的平台  我們歡迎  老朋友
新朋友 不設限  只要您想學英文   100%歡迎您  直接到聚會地點參加   地址在本會網頁上
只要您有熱誠  說一口流利英文不是問題


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朋友們  每周一 說吧!英文讀書會 在桃園有英文練習聚會  地址: 桃園中正路50號 麥當勞 時間:700pm---9:00pm 歡迎您來參加

復興航空墬機

Taiwan TransAsia Airways plane crash kills at least 40  BBC

A passenger plane has crashed after a failed emergency landing in Taiwan, killing more than 40 people, local officials say.

The domestic flight crashed near Magong airport on the outlying Penghu island, reports said.

There were a total of 54 passengers and four crew on board, Taiwan's CNA news agency reported.

Aviation officials said flight GE222 aborted its initial landing and then crashed, local media reported.

Transport minister Yeh Kuang-Shih said that 47 people were killed and 11 were injured, CNA reported.

The agency previously said that 51 were feared killed, citing fire department officials.

"It's chaotic [at] the scene," Jean Shen, director of the Civil Aeronautics Administration, told Reuters news agency.
Questions:
What do you think about Taiwan Trans Asia airways plane crash?
What do you think the safety of airplanes?
Do you fear to take airplanes? Why or why not?
How to survive a plane crash?
(a survey shows that the safest seats are at the back of the plane)
In your opinion, which is the safest seat on an aircraft? Why?
Is it safe to fly an airplane?
How can you prevent air plane crashes?
What are the ways to increase your odds of surviving a plane crash?

In your opinion, what are the safest airlines in Taiwan? Why?


機器人將成必需品
A Robot to Care for You in Old Age By Dave Bernard

How would you feel about interacting with a machine rather than a human being when it comes to addressing your daily activities? I admit my first reaction when thinking of a robot caring for me in my later years was not necessarily a positive one. Robots can be a bit scary. My perspective is the result of many years as a science fiction buff, and the robot was not always such a nice guy. More often than not, the mechanical man somehow caused a variety of problems for the humans it interacted with.

But not all robots are bad. Some are being deployed to offer assistance living at home. Smart Homes, a company based in the Netherlands, has designed a program to help seniors live independently. A helpful robot named Hector that resembles a big walking and talking smartphone provides reminders for everyday tasks such as taking medications, returning phone calls and compiling grocery lists. In addition, Hector can detect falls and respond to verbal commands.

Perhaps a robot could also assist with day-to-day tasks such as retrieving objects for those whose mobility is limited. Voice activated commands are becoming commonplace in our smartphone use. It seems like a reasonable and useful extension to apply voice commands to the realm of the robot.


A big part of the future success of robots will be their acceptance by the humans under their care. In Japan robots have been around for a long time with a history that includes everything from tamagotchis to transformers. You would expect Japanese seniors to be reasonably comfortable when it comes to the idea of robots in their daily lives. 
Questions:
What do you think the idea that robot caregivers help the elderly?
How robots can help caregivers?
Do you think that robotics can and will - change our lives in the near future?
What should robots look like in the future?
What do you think a robotic girlfriend or a boyfriend?
Do you want a humanoid servant robot at home? Why or why not?

Are robots going to take our jobs?

【聯合報╱記者許玉娟、凌珮君、綦守鈺/連線報導】

復興航空編號GE222ATR72型客機,昨晚搭載五十四名旅客四位機組人員降落馬公機場時,墜毀在湖西鄉西溪村民宅上,機上乘員四十八人罹難,只有十人生還送醫,另有五名民宅居民受傷。復興航空這班飛機由正駕駛李義良(六十歲)駕駛,副駕駛為江冠興(卅九歲),原訂昨天下午四時從高雄小港機場飛往澎湖馬公機場,因天候不佳,延後一小時四十三分起飛。

晚上七時六分,飛機準備降落馬公機場,塔台接獲機長要求重飛,七點八分飛機隨即失去聯絡並從雷達上消失,隨即傳出墜毀湖西鄉西溪村六十二號旁空地。

澎湖縣消防局二分鐘後接到報案,原以為是民宅火警,趕到現場發現是墜機,趕緊加派人車,軍方出動兩百名兵力搶救,附近居民也紛紛出來幫忙。

消防局昨晚八時五分控制火勢,現場殘骸、屍塊一片狼藉,消防人員說,現場飛機殘骸散落在七百公尺範圍內,不少因墜機飛出來的屍塊掉在民宅上,消防局人員必須挨戶尋找屍塊拼湊,並將死者先移往菊島福園殯儀館。

當地居民說,飛機失事前先撞上附近一間民宅,民宅被削去大半,破碎的屍塊四散,「只能用慘不忍睹形容」。飛機還撞壞附近的供電設施,造成附近民宅大停電,台電緊急調來一台供電機才暫時復電。總計撞壞五十六及六十二號兩戶民宅,掉落的土石還壓住屋旁轎車。

中央氣象局表示,麥德姆颱風一條雨帶從昨天下午四時起一直卡在澎湖與台灣本島之間,天氣狀況相當不穩定,傍晚到入夜後澎湖最大陣風七到九級,雨勢也明顯轉強,能見度大約僅二公里。

幸運生還的海軍女軍官顏婉茹說,飛機在空中盤旋差不多一個小時,降落時感覺像是起落架故障,接著就是一陣猛烈撞擊,回神時眼前機艙嚴重變形,她跟著同僚蔡佩儒陸續爬出。

一位曾在陸軍航空特戰指揮部服役被調往澎湖馬公機場支援的飛官說,昨晚七時十分左右,官兵突然接獲通知,全員被召返馬公機場協助救災,「現場一片狼藉,機場跑道散滿碎片、殘骸,飛機全部停飛」。


「整晚馬公街道上都聽得到消防車呼嘯而過的聲音」,他表示,昨天澎湖下一整天的雨,能見度很差,馬公機場白天一度關閉後,下午才又再開放。


日教授:機器人將像手機一樣成必需品
【聯合報╱編譯張佑生/綜合報導】

大阪大學機器人專家石黑浩(右)上月在東京發表全球首見能朗誦新聞稿的主播機器人Kodomoroid,這個字是日文kodomo(孩童)和機器人(android)的合併字。
法新社
難以分辨真人與機器人之間差異的遠景,在日本最近的技術突破後,可能很快變成現實。

不過,當機器人與人類的差異變小時,社會將面臨料想不到的倫理和法律爭議。

大阪大學的機器人專家石黑浩接受法新社專訪時說:「電腦能力已經超越人類,機器人很快就會變得很聰明。」

石黑浩擁有一個智能機器人,外型與他本人幾乎一模一樣,他還會讓機器人代替他前往海外出差。石黑浩笑說:「機器人幫我節省時間,上半身和下半身分別放進兩個行李箱,頭部非常脆弱,必須當作隨身行李攜帶。」

從煮麵、協助復健到清理核災現場,機器人在日本的功能已經很多元。南韓有清除水母的機器人,還有具備人工智慧的機器人能夠分析市場走向,獲邀加入香港創投公司的董事會。

石黑浩表示:「如果我們對人類有足夠的知識,通常來自神經科學和認知科學,就能打造出更像人類的機器人。更重要的是,機器人和仿真人是反映人類的鏡子。一旦我們成為朋友,人類和機器人之間的界線便會消失。」

石黑浩舉例,某人在車禍中喪女,後來有仿真人外型的機器人住進家裡,當事人可能會逐漸接受,當做真人對待。「假設住所遭入侵,主人擊斃歹徒以保護機器人,法庭上將如何答辯?」

人類和機器人之間的界線消失,一直讓人擔憂,通常透過流行文化呈現。一九八二年的好萊塢電影「銀翼殺手」即為一例,將故事背景設定在二○一九年,經過基因工程改造的機器人被稱為「複製人」,外表與人類無異,但體能優於人類,也能忍受痛苦。哈里遜福特飾演的主角負責追蹤殲滅「複製人」,問題是他得先辨識人群中誰是真人誰是機器人。


石黑浩預測,如同年輕一代生活不能沒有手機,仿真人的機器人未來也會成為人類生活的必需品:「每個人都需要一台機器人,選擇會更多樣。」 

周六(7/26)1.30天!2.時光機/回到過去


周六聚會地點: 請注意  7/26地點暫改至江翠捷運5號出口 
艾隆意式麵館 板橋仁化街32號     
(僅一次     下周仍回到原聚會點)7:00PM---9:30PM

目前週六文章與(每週ㄧ桃園讀書會共用) 參加桃園聚會朋友們 請先download週六文章
另有ㄧ篇新時事討論講義現場分發
週ㄧ桃園讀書   麥當勞中正店  桃園市中正路50號 3樓  7:00pm----9:00pm

30天!
What if You Had One Month to Live?
By Belinda Elliott  CBN.com

The One Month to Live Challenge centers around four key principles.
“Live Passionately” calls readers to stop living with the “Someday Syndrome” and begin to live their lives with purpose, embracing all that God has for them. “We’d always say, 'Someday when things settle down we’ll really focus on the kids. Someday when things settle down then we’ll really do this or that,'” Shook said. “We realized finally that things are never going to settle down. We have to carve our life out of what’s going on right now.”
“Love Completely” focuses on people’s relationships with others. “We’ve noticed that most people, at the end of their lives, their biggest regrets are relationships,” Shook said. “Loving completely means don’t leave anything unsaid. Don’t leave anything undone. Express your love today. Write a letter of thanksgiving to someone today. Do whatever you need to do today.”
“Learn Humbly” discusses learning from problems and pain. The chapter also helps readers discover who God made them to be and how to best use the talents and gifts He has given them.
“Leave Boldly” encourages readers to live their lives in ways that will leave behind lasting legacies. "We build these elaborate sandcastles and they look like they are permanent," Shook said. "Maybe it’s a big business, or a house, or material possessions, but those things aren’t going to last. One day the tide of time will roll in and wash those all away. It’s the things you can’t see -- faith, hope, love, the souls of men and women -- that’s what lasts forever.”
Questions:
What if you had one month to live? What to do?
What are the things you need to do before you die?
What are your bucket list ideas?
What are the places must to see before you die?
How to express your feelings to the one you love?
How to be bold in life?
How to stop living with the “someday syndrome” (procrastination)?
How to arrange giving money to children/to someone after death?
What do you think of funeral ceremonies?
What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

How to say goodbye when someone you love is dying?
時光機/回到過去
If you could journey back through time, where would you go, what would you do and why?
(kaohana.windward.hawaii.edu)
I could enter a time machine, I would love to be able to go back in time when I was a child. Taking the knowledge I have now from the life lessons I have experienced, I would definitely be able to change my life and take advantage of things like my parents and a high school education. Your parents try to explain to you the importance of school and an education when you are a child, but it is only after when you become an adult that you realize the value and importance it has and how it will benefit your life and future. I guess you can say as a parent, you are going back in time with your children, except you are hoping that they will learn from your experiences and live their life how you wish you could have.
– Christine Rombawa
I would go back in time to the 1950s. Things were very cheap. I could wear a suit everywhere I go. JFK would still be alive and, most importantly, I would be in pursuit of making Marilyn Monroe my wife.
– Lawson Kurosu
I would go back 50 years. Assuming I had no money, I would work until I saved $20,000 and invest it all in Apple. Also, I would have brought with me a game book with every sports event in it. I would take my Apple earnings and bet on every game, becoming the richest man in the world and donating half to WCC and, 1 million each to the writers and editors of the Ka ‘Ohana.
– Dana Yamauchi
Honestly, if I could go back in time, I would go back to when I was a kid because life was so simple then. When I was a kid, there were no worries about paying bills, the rising cost of living, political issues, having kids of my own, etc. I would want to relive my childhood because it was full of family, friends, playing outside and inside the house. There’s this bliss that comes from the ignorance of being a kid and I miss that. The world doesn’t seem so corrupt or negative when you’re a kid.
 – Jackie Jackson
If I could go back in time, I would go back to the inventing of the time machine so that I can prevent it from being created. Everything that has happened in this world happened for a reason.  No one has the right to change the course of history.
– David Morimoto
Although there are many significant events that have occurred throughout human history, I would choose to prevent the 9/11 attacks from happening. The loss of thousands of innocent lives that day is an unquestionable tragedy.
Questions:
If you could journey back through time, where would you go, what would you do and why?
If you could go back in time what would you change?
If you could go to any time in history (ex: go back 100 years), where and why would you go?
If you could go back in time, where would you travel?
What do you think the idea that I would go back 50 years. And invest money all in Apple?
Is time travel possible?
What were things you regret in the past?
How to overcome serious regrets?
Is a time machine technologically possible?
What were the wonderful things in the past you remembered?









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魅力學

How to Be Charismatic Edited by Jack Herrick Wiki How

Have you ever noticed how some people have the ability to captivate absolutely anyone? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, these people can just walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people want to emulate them. That's charisma — a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration. 

    1.     Exude confidence. Charisma isn't the same thing as confidence, but appearing confident can make you more charismatic because your confidence will put others at ease and inspire faith in your abilities. If people see you as a confident person, they will naturally want to be around you. 

    2

        A charismatic person stands tall and walks with steady, determined strides. They walk into a room of strangers with pride, ready to embrace a new opportunity. They also gesture with their hands instead of crossing them over their chest.

        Improve your posture. Nothing conveys confidence like good posture. Stand or sit up straight, but not rigidly. When you meet someone, give a firm handshake and look the other person in the eye. Display positive body language while you're talking to someone or even when you're just waiting around. 

    3

    Make people feel special. No matter whom you're talking to, you should always try to charm that person and make them feel like the only person in the world. To have true charisma, you should be able to talk to anyone about any topic, and be a good and attentive listener.
Questions:
How to be charismatic person?
How to develop the ability to captivate absolutely anyone?
How to talk to anyone about good talking topics?
How to make people feel special?
How to build self-confidence?
How to prove yourself a good person?
Ways to evolve and be a better person?
Do you want to improve your appearance? And how?
Do you want to change yourself to become a new person? Why or why not?
What are the good habits you want to improve? Tips to change any habit?. 
   
                           




How to Read Someone's Mind   Michael Lee

Mind Reading Trick # 1: Trust Your Intuition.

The word intuition goes by many names. Some people call it gut feel; others, a sixth sense. Whatever you might call that gnawing feeling in you doesn't matter, as long as you understand what it is trying to tell you.

Haven't you ever found yourself in a situation wherein you know something is about to happen? You can't explain how you know, just that you do.

If you're used to dealing with different people, you probably use your intuition to learn how to read someone's mind. You may not be able to directly pull the words out of a person's mouth, but you can tell whether something positive or negative is coming your way. In this cutthroat world, a skill like that is highly coveted.

Mind Reading Trick # 2: Watch The Eyes.

Since you can't exactly drill a hole in a person's head to learn how to read someone's mind, why don't you focus all your attention on the eyes instead?

They are, after all, the windows to the soul. How much can eyes reveal? Well, when a person has done something they shouldn't have and is being plagued with guilt, trust that person to look at everywhere else except the person he's done wrong to. Another eye body language sign of deception is blinking.

Is the person you're talking to genuine or not? Observe to see whether their smile reaches their eyes or not. If the smile does not reach their eyes, then it's probably a forced smile.

Mind Reading Trick # 3: Word Association.

A fun way to learn what is on someone's mind is to play the word association game. You say one word and the other person says another that automatically comes to mind.

For example, if a person is hungry, they might not be able to help but fire back words that are related to food. Of course, you can't expect to catch a person's thoughts at the first bait. You need to lead them on with the impression that the game is innocent. And when they are caught up in the moment, strike hard.

Learning how to read someone's mind will be easy for those who really want to master it. The three tips above will help hone your ability to figure out a person's agenda without getting you into trouble.
Questions:
Can you read someone's mind?
How to read someone's mind?
What are the benefits if you could read someone's mind?
Do you believe in sixth sense? Do you have a sixth sense?
How to read body language?
What will you do if you could read someone's mind?
How to read body language to reveal the underlying truth?
Do you trust your intuition when making decisions?
Can you tell if someone is telling the truth by looking into his eyes?
How to tell if someone is telling a lie?


魅力學:無往不利的自我經營術,出版社:天下文化【讀書心得】


一直以為魅力這種事跟天生有極大關係,至少在遇到這本書之前。雖然我在進入職場後給人的印象還算不錯,不過身旁偶爾還是會遇到些只要他們「一出場」(現身),目光焦點自然就會停留在那個人身上。並非長相原因,而是這些人說話的方式及內容,還有語調,似乎都很容易吸引人。所以在書店遇到這本書時,就抱著好奇加懷疑的心態拿起來讀,細讀後發現裡面提到的知識還滿符我要的。


說到魅力,我們真的很容易就跟外表或是言談直接聯想在一起,常看到媒體上的知名人物,言談舉止都充滿了明星魅力,最重要的就是眼神間透露出的自信。而這看似與生俱來的能力,真的可以透過技巧的練習而成嗎?作者奧麗薇亞就用她所教授的課程,以及場場爆滿的盛況證明了這件事。魅力,是真的可以經由後天練習而來,而且天生的條件並不是有沒有魅力的關鍵,奧麗薇亞在書中所述求的就是以保留每個人原本的個性,從中發揮出自己的影響力。


作者認為對於魅力最大的三個迷思


    1. 最普遍的魅力迷思就是:生性活潑或擅於交際的人才可能散發魅力。


    2. 另一項常見的魅力迷思是:你必須長相好看才會有魅力。


    3. 第三個常見的魅力迷思是:你必須改變個性。換言之,你若想變得更有魅力,不需要強迫自己改變個性,也不必勉強自己去做違背內在本質的事。


最大感想:要有魅力,自信是第一步


這本書給我對於要有魅力最大的感想,就是要先有自信。當一個人對一件事愈有自信而不自傲,那麼他的言談、眼神就會充滿活力跟給人肯定的感覺,也就容易產生魅力。這種感覺不是刻意裝出來,而是發自內心真誠的散發,從內心外擴到肢體語言。通常一位有魅力的人,會發現他的言行與他的舉止都是內外相呼應。(假掰的人就不一定,時間久了就自然會露出馬腳。)


另外一個擁有魅力的原因,就是讓人覺得他喜歡跟你在一起。一般來說,如果你是公眾知名人物,這點很自然就會達成,所以公眾知名的人物都有一般人沒有的魅力。不過如果只是市井小民的我們呢?要做到讓人喜歡跟自己在一起,首先就是要懂得先關心別人的需求。這聽起來好像跟魅力沒有直接關係,不過看完書就能夠體會到,原來跟別人有良好的互動才是有魅力的原因。想想周圍那些一出現就受到注目,或是在聚會時某個一到來現場氣氛就熱絡的人,似乎也是常常會讓人開心,會懂得平時就關心他人的人。所以要有魅力,就要做到別人喜歡跟自己在一起。


讀完這本書,我不再只覺得魅力是摸不著邊的事情,它可以是天生,也可以是後天,只要經過練習,有心的人都在自己領域散發迷人的魅力。
當個有魅力的人      EMBA雜誌編輯部/文


有一些人,你一看到他們,就覺得他們很重要、很特別,或者,他們一走進房間,就會成為眾人注目的焦點。也說不太上來為什麼,他們自然而然散發著一股魅力。
有一些人,你一看到他們,就覺得他們很重要、很特別,或者,他們一走進房間,就會成為眾人注目的焦點。也說不太上來為什麼,他們自然而然散發著一股魅力。
公司雜誌(Inc.)指出,有魅力的人擁有以下十個習慣:
■「聽」比「說」多。有魅力的人善於問問題、看對方的眼睛、微笑等,讓對方覺得自己很重要。他們跟別人互動時的重點跟口語比較無關,而在肢體語言。即便開口說話時,除非對方要求,他們也不會搶著給建議。
■不會選擇性傾聽。有些人面對比自己低階的人,會忽略對方的談話。有魅力的人不同,他們跟別人談話時都會仔細聽,讓對方覺得兩人之間有共同點。
■先把自己放一邊。當一個人忙著處理自己的事情時,就沒有空跟別人產生連結。把全神貫注當成一個禮物送給對方,光接收到這個禮物,就會讓人想跟你在一起,並且記得你。
■先施再受,往往不求回報。有魅力的人懂得,先不要想能獲得什麼,把注意力放在能給予什麼。付出是建立真正關係的唯一方法。
■沒有表現出覺得自己很重要。老表現出覺得自己很重要的人,會讓人反感和不舒服,不可能讓別人對他留下好印象。
■其他人才重要。有魅力的人了解,一個人已經知道他知道的,那些東西已經不重要了,因為他沒辦法再從中學到更多。但是,別人知道他不知道的,因為能向別人學習,所以別人變得重要。
■把聚光燈打在別人身上。沒有人會嫌稱讚太多,看到別人做得好,不要吝於告訴他們。別人不只會感激你的讚美,也會感激你願意花心思注意他們,增添魅力指數。
■慎選所用字詞。一個人選用的字詞會影響其他人的態度,例如,不要說「我今天必須面試一個人」,而是「我今天要幫公司挑一個好的人才加入」。一般人都想跟快樂、有熱情、感到滿足的人在一起。
■不說別人的壞話。大家多少都喜歡聽八卦,但是都不尊敬講八卦的人。說別人的壞話,聽到的人會懷疑,你會不會也跟別人說他們的壞話。
■毫不猶豫地承認自己的錯誤。比起充滿保護色的人,一般人比較願意跟謙虛、大方聊自己曾犯過的錯誤,並適時自嘲的人在一起。


文章來源:EMBA雜誌第313期(2012年09出版)