週二(8/2)陳冠希與林志玲2.釋放快樂賀爾蒙---巧克力

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

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陳冠希與林志玲

Edison Chen insults Lin Chi-Ling    tnp.sg

Looks like the passage of time has not helped Hong Kong singer-actor Edison Chen mature - he is still the angry little boy who wears his heart on his sleeve.

On Wednesday night, the 35-year-old, who is infamous for his 2008 sex photos scandal, lambasted Taiwanese model-actress Lin Chi-ling on his Sina Weibo account.

Chen unleashed his anger on Lin, 41, calling her a "b****", describing her as "ugly", and saying she "smells like s***".

He continued in English: "I warned you that you won't like me when I'm angry."

He subsequently deleted the post, but later posted two new messages.

The first, in Chinese, read: "Why did I scold her? She knows why, I've already warned her.

"You should ask her! Thank you for co-operating! You may say I'm wrong, but I think she erred even more."

As shocked netizens blasted him for being "ungentlemanly", "ill-mannered" and "vulgar", Chen posted another message: "In the end, all truths reveal themselves. If you do not like me, don't follow me!"

When contacted by Taiwanese media outlet ETToday, Lin's personal assistant replied: "(She) has seen the news. She is baffled and stunned by Mr Chen's actions, as the two of them do not know each other at all.

"Chi-ling doesn't know why he scolded her. Maybe there is some misunderstanding.

"She hasn't worked with him before. Recently, she has been extremely busy with filming."

Fans of both stars speculated over the reason for Chen's fury.

According to Taiwan's China Times, it is rumoured that there is bad blood between Lin and Chen's current girlfriend, 26-year-old Chinese model Qin Shu Pei.

Lin, Qin and Qin's fellow model pal, He Sui, were said to have gone on the same TV show together, but Lin "snatched resources from Qin and He".

Thus, Chen scolded Lin online "to stand up for his girlfriend", reported China Times

Q:

What do you think the news reported that “Edison Chen insults Lin Chi-Ling”?  

How to handle personal attacks on social media?

How to Deal With verbal abuse and Put-Downs?

“News reported miss Lin Chi-Ling has good EQ ”? Is EQ important?

Does work as an actress a good job?

Do you think that supermodels deserve the high salaries they receive?

Does Curse someone online no problems?

釋放快樂賀爾蒙---巧克力

How To Release The Happy Hormones “Endorphins”   Urmet Seepter

1. Chocolate

Another method is through eating chocolate. Do you remember how your parents would give you chocolates after feeling emotional or distressed? You may have thought that the happiness you felt upon eating those sweets was caused by your strong preference for chocolate. Even though this may partly be a reason, there is actually a scientific basis for the elation felt after eating chocolate. Eating chocolates stimulate the release of endorphins, which directly stimulate the brain to generate emotions of joy and pleasure. This sweet food also contains a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) which directly causes a feel-good effect.

2. Physical activities

First, engage in physical activities. Studies show that people who exercise regularly tend to have an increased release of endorphins. This is responsible for the phenomenon called “runner’s high,” wherein a physically active individual experiences happiness in the middle of a strenuous exercise. However, ordinary body movement will not release the happy hormones. Instead, you must engage in either cardiovascular exercises or extensive muscle training to stimulate the highest response.

3. Meditation

Third, meditation practices release the happy hormones in the body. Scientists believe that yoga reduces stress because of endorphin release. These serve as “feel good chemicals” and natural analgesics. The controlled breathing during yoga also contributes to the release of the said hormone.

4. Spicy dishes

Aside from the chocolate intake discussed earlier, consumption of spicy dishes also increases endorphin release. When your mouth feels the spiciness, the brain’s outright reaction is to release the happy hormones. The spicier your food is, the more nerve cells are stimulated to release endorphins.

5. Lavender

Lavender aroma also stimulates endorphin production, leading to decreased depression and insomnia. In a study conducted among college students, a substantial decline in anxiety levels was observed. By applying lavender extract on the neck, wrists, hair or temples, the scent immediately diffuses to be inspired through the nasal opening.

6. Laughter

If you do not want herbs, laughing is a method that can significantly help you release the happy hormone. Research shows that people who laugh more often release higher levels of endorphin in a day. In fact, statistics depict that children who laugh approximately 300 times per day are shown to release more endorphins relative to adults who only laugh about 5 times per day. Hence, you should make it a daily habit to joke and laugh with your friends. Aside from releasing stress, laughing will also increase endorphins in your system.

Q:

What make you happy?

Do you like chocolate? Can chocolate really make you happier?

What are the activities causes a feel-good effect?

What are the physical activities do you do usually?

Do you think spicy dishes make you happier?

Does laughing make you feel good?

What do you think about yoga, meditation?

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週五(7/29)1.跟快樂的人混在一起2.如何表示友善?

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

左轉       聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm

跟快樂的人混在一起

Surround Yourself with Happy People to be Happy

Courtney Eaton

Who makes you happy? Chances are it is someone that you spend a significant amount of time with. A study done by Dr. Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School and Dr. James Fowler of the University of California in San Diego conducted a study on how an individual’s social network affects their happiness levels. They found that individuals who associate themselves with cheerful people have a happier demeanor and consequently a better sense of well-being. The effects of one person’s happiness influences another person’s mood which boosts another person’s mood. It is a chain reaction! The closer you are to these people emotionally, the longer the effect of their attitude will be on your disposition. The closer you live to a person, the stronger the effect is, because you are with them more, therefore the effect is nearly constant. It is also stronger between individuals of the same sex.

So surround yourself with people that make you happy. Life’s too short to spend it with miserable people. If there is someone that always brings your down, find ways to avoid them. Busy yourself with other things when they want to hang out. Go out tonight and have a “girls night” (or guys night) with your closest friends! Planning at least weekly gatherings with your friends is a good way to increase your happiness and theirs! Increasing your happiness can relieve stress and increase your sense of motivation and optimism so you can conquer the rest of your week successfully! Then, since you’ve conquered the things you needed to do, you will feel accomplished and even happier! It’s a chain reaction; you just have to push over that first domino!   

Q:

Why you should surround yourself with happy people?

Who makes you happy? What makes you happy?

Why do not spending time with miserable people?

Is a bad mood contagious?

What are the ways to improve your mood?

How sleep affects your mood?

How to plan your week?

如何表示友善?

How to Be Friendly

     Smile more. You don't have to give every person you see a huge grin to be more friendly. However, making a goal to smile at least 30% more on a daily basis, whether you're smiling at people you know, complete strangers, or acquaintances who cross your path, smiling will make you look like a much more approachable, friendly person.

    

    Drop the distractions. Another way to be friendlier is to notice everything that's going on around you instead of trying to beat the new level of Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you're tapping away at your phone, burying your nose in a book, staring at your computer, or even just picking at the paint on your fingernails, then people will think you have better things to do than to talk to them. Instead, look ahead, smile, and be ready for what the world has to offer you.

       

     Laugh easily. The ability to laugh easily is another trait of the friendly person. You don't have to laugh at everything a person says or you may sound fake, but you should make an effort to laugh about 20% more, especially when people are trying to be funny, say something kind of funny, or just when you feel people need a boost of support and confidence. Laughing more will not only give your conversations more of a positive vibe, but the people around you -- even the people who are just walking by -- will see you as a more friendly person.

    Ask people questions about themselves. If you want to be friendly, then you have to show a real interest in people. They have to see that you really care about who they are, what they think, and what they do. If you want to be friendly, then you have to ask people a variety of simple questions that show them you care. You shouldn't ask anything too personal or they might get offended, though; stick to some of the same topics first and move on from there once you know them better. Here are some great topics to try:[1]

        Pets

        Favorite sports teams

        Favorite hobbies

        Favorite bands, books, or movies

        Siblings

        Weekend trips

        What they’re trying to achieve in life

        Favorite vacations or where they would like to travel to

     Compliment others. Complimenting people -- when you mean it -- will make you seem and feel like a much more friendly person. Just a small compliment given at the right time will make people think, "He/she's really nice!" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy to be in your presence.

 Q:

How to be friendly?

Does smiling make you look more approachable, friendly person?

Do mobile phones distract you when you talk to someone else? 

Do you laugh easily? Do you think laughing make you a more friendly person?

What are the talking topics you start talking with new friend?

How to compliment others?

.

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週四(7/28) 1.要成功 要早起?2.憂鬱症與殺手

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

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要成功 要早起?

Why You Should Wake Up Early?   feelgoodhomeopathy

Do you want to be extremely successful in life? Do you want to get ahead of your competition? Do you want to stay energized all day? Do you want to enhance your productivity and work more efficiently?

In this blog we want to tell you what are the benefits of waking up early.

You get time to exercise

When you wake up just 2 hours early then you can get time to exercise. Well I am not saying that you exercise for 2 hours rigorously, you just need to exercise 30-40 mins which is just enough for an average person. You can exercise at home or go for jog outside or if it is easier for you to visit the gym then nothin like it. Any form of exercise for just 30 mins is good enough to energize your body for the day ahead.

Plan your day

You all have some goals in life and you want to achieve lot of things in life. For instance you want to buy a big house or you want a stable income or you are looking for promotion. Well your goal could be just anything but the key to achieving your goals is to plan how you will get to your goals.

If you start your day and spend at least 15-20 mins planning about what things you need to do during the day and more importantly in which order you should do them. You can just maintain a dairy or a planner where you can simply write down daily tasks. Mornings are the best time to do this activity and when you wake up early you have time to plan your day.

Experience the Beauty of Nature

Early morning is a great time to appreciate the wonders of the nature. Just go out in the park watch the sunrise and listen to the chirping of birds or watch flowers blossom. Nature is at its best early morning when everything is quiet and so natural. This will help you a lot at emotional level.

You get time to eat Breakfast properly

When you get up early you get time to make yourself a good health meal and also to eat it properly. When we are in hurry we tend to eat things that doesn't take much time to cook and we eat in hurry without chewing food properly. Well if you have time to eat your first meal properly them not only you will get all the nutrients but also less stress which is next in our list.

Get more Happier in Life

When you make it a routine habit to get up early morning then eventually you will become more happier in life. The benefits of waking up early is almost instant. Within just few days you will realized that on an emotional level you are very relaxed and stress free. You also have been spending time in the morning just thinking about things and this is very important activity. When you just think and do nothing this clears up lot of messed up things in your mind and you get answers to you problems.

Q:

Why you should wake up early?

What are the benefits of waking up early?

Is being a night-owl a bad thing?

Do you get time to do exercise?

How often you experience the beauty of nature?

Do you make a plan for your day?

Why eating the right breakfast is important?

憂鬱症與殺手

Munich shooting: Gunman was a shy teen with depression and an obsession with mass shootings

A picture is emerging of the Munich gunman who killed nine people and then himself suggesting he was a shy teenager with depression and an obsession with mass shootings.

Ali David Sonboly, an 18-year-old German-Iranian, was described by a neighbour as "very quiet".

"He only ever said 'hi'. His whole body language was of somebody who was very shy," Stephan, a coffee shop owner who would only give his first name, told the Press Association.

Video footage of the shooting shows the gunman claiming he was "bullied for seven years" before saying "and now I have to buy a weapon and shoot you all".

Investigators said his room contained documents on "frenzied attacks" and a book titled: "Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters."

Germany's top security official Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere said other information showed the shooter had researched a 2009 school shooting in Germany, and the bomb and gun attacks in Norway by Anders Behring Breivik, who killed 77 people exactly five years ago Friday.

"There was material found in the apartment of the suspect that showed a particular interest in shooting sprees, [but] there is so far no indication of any connection to international terrorism," Mr de Maiziere said.

Authorities are still trying to determine a motive for the attack, and Mr de Maiziere said they were investigating reports that the shooter had been bullied "by others his age".

Initial investigations suggest the shooter, a student who was born and raised in Munich, had been in psychiatric care where he was treated for depression.

Diagnosed depression linked to violent crime, says Oxford University study   theguardian

People diagnosed with depression are roughly three times more likely than the general population to commit violent crimes such as robbery, sexual offences and assault, according to psychiatric experts.

A study based on more than 47,000 people in Sweden, emphasised that the overwhelming majority of depressed people are neither violent nor criminal and should not be stigmatised.

“One important finding was that the vast majority of depressed people were not convicted of violent crimes, and that the rates ... are below those for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and considerably lower than for alcohol or drug abuse,” said Seena Fazel, who led the study at University of Oxford’s psychiatry department.

The researchers found that 3.7% of men and 0.5% of women committed a violent crime after being identified as clinically depressed. This compared with 1.2% of men and 0.2% of women in the general population.

Q:

What are your opinions about Munich shooting?

"What makes normal people commit crimes?"

Do you think that depression linked to violent crime?

What to do when someone is shooting at you?

What are the traits of a potential killer?

Are quiet loners linked with violence?

Why do some people become loners?

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週五(7/22)1.有錢人的幾個習慣?2.孤狗讓你變笨了嗎?

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

左轉       聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm

有錢人的幾個習慣?

Daily Habits Of Wealthy People    Moneyby Deji Akingbade

I wanted to know why some people appeared to have such ease in generating wealth and money.

What I found was astonishing. In this article I will share these tips with you and no they are not about will power. Without getting too much into the topic of money and inflation, I want to share some daily habits of the wealthy.

Live in the future

People who have wealth or make a lot of money are not fortune tellers or wizards who predict the future; they are ordinary people like you and me.

One thing they do differently on a daily basis is attempt to forecast future trends.

Steve Jobs displayed this daily habit and it is often cited as the platform for a lot of Apple’s innovative products. Steve seemed to know what people would want even before they knew they would want it. Sometimes the products themselves didn’t even exist. When it comes to building wealth, a daily habit to practice is forecasting what challenges the future may bring.

Live minimally

By minimally, I am not trying to imply that most wealthy people live in a tiny house with no electricity and only one chair. I simply mean they actively practice not living in excess.

While building their wealth, they will have developed the habit of identifying what is an essential and what is a luxury, and it is a habit that will stick with them. They might begin to indulge in a few luxury items such as a nice house, new car or some name brand cloths but it is still well within their means and usually just one or two of said items. After all, you can only live in so many houses and drive so many cars at a time.

Pass on T.V. and social media

Nearly 70% of the wealthy class will watch less than one hour of television a day, while only 23% of poor people can make the same claim.

Being poor alone will cause you to stress. Add an unfulfilling, mundane and minimal paying job to the mix, and it is understandable why many of the poor find comfort in mentally “unplugging”, or shutting off their brains, in front of the television.

Reality T.V, televised sports, Facebook and Twitter are all modern day tools of distraction to help us temporarily forget how miserable we are being poor. Problem is the time it takes you to forget the problem of being poor is the time you could have invested fixing the problem.

Wake up early

Waking up at the crack of dawn to rush out the door for work is not the same thing as waking up early enough to have plenty of time before work to think and reflect. Wealthy people typically practice the latter. Think of this time as a pre-game warm up, allowing your mind to mentally prepare for the coming challenges. Waking up early is an extremely useful tool for self-reflection and meditation in the daily arsenal of the wealthy.

Q:

What are the daily habits of yourself?

Why some people appeared to have such ease in generating wealth and money?

Do you have the ability to forecast future trends?

Is it good to indulge in luxury items and some name brand cloths?

Why TV. And social media hinder the chances of your success?

Do you wake up early or late? Why?

What are the pros and cons of being a night owl or an early bird?

孤狗讓你變笨了嗎?

Google Effect: is technology making us stupid?      independent.co.uk

"Is the internet making us stupid?" I type. Press enter. Almost instantly, a raft of answers and articles on screen. It's an unsettling feeling that my first instinct – to Google my own stupidity – may be the root of my increasing daftness.

A recent study (you've probably forgotten it by now) suggests 90 per cent of us are suffering from digital amnesia. More than 70 per cent of people don't know their children's phone numbers by heart, and 49 per cent have not memorised their partner's number. While those of us who grew up in a landline-only world may also remember friends' home numbers from that era, we are unlikely to know their current mobiles, as our phones do the job. The Kaspersky Lab concludes we don't commit data to memory because of the "Google Effect" – we're safe in the knowledge that answers are just a click away, and are happy to treat the web like an extension to our own memory.

Dr Maria Wimber, lecturer at the University of Birmingham's School of Psychology, worked with the internet security firm on their research. She believes the internet simply changes the way we handle and store information, so the Google Effect "makes us good at remembering where to find a given bit of information, but not necessarily what the information was. It is likely to be true that we don't attempt to store information in our own memory to the same degree that we used to, because we know that the internet knows everything."

This even extends to photographs. A Fairfield University study in 2003 found that taking photos reduces our memories. Participants were asked to look around a museum, and those who took photos of each object remembered fewer objects and details about them than those who simply observed. Dr Wimber says: "One could speculate that this extends to personal memories, as constantly looking at the world through the lens of our smartphone camera may result in us trusting our smartphones to store our memories for us. This way, we pay less attention to life itself and become worse at remembering events from our own lives."

Q:

Is technology making us stupid?      

What are your opinion about that “Google effect”?

What do you think the term ”digital amnesia”?

Do you remember your friends' phone numbers?

Is technology making people less sociable?

Is multitasking a good thing?

How much do we depend on our smartphones?

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週四(7/21)1.購買習慣---殺價2.2.追求幸福秘訣---哈佛75年研究

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新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮

左轉  聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm

購買習慣---殺價

Bargaining in China  travelchinaguide.com

Practice

In bargaing with the seller, stay relaxed but always polite. Be patient and unflappable to facilitate the bargaining process. There are some skills that can be used in the course of bargaining:

1. Cut down considerably from the asking price. The shopkeeper often charges higher prices than the actual value of the goods. Try to reduce the price to half of the asking price, and then spend some time on further negotiation.Generally, the basic rules and conditions of bargaining in different shopping areas are different, so you should know them first in order to make comparisons. Then you can bargain and arrive at a good price that will enhance your shopping experience.

Bargaining when shopping

2. Never express how much you like the things you want to buy, as the seller may use this information to jack up the price. Pretend to be casual and indifferent while strolling around in the shops.

3. Try to find and point out as many flaws as possible in the product. The seller will always describe its excellence and will avoid talking about blemishes; but no product is completely perfect, and you should learn to identify all the flaws in order to gain bargaining leverage. In response, the seller may reduce his asking price.

4. Take some time when choosing and comparing the goods before you propose the price you wish. In this situation, the seller may compromise with you.

5. Pretend to walk away. Generally, this skill works quite well in most shopping places. If the price proposed by the seller is still unacceptable and outside your budget, you can use the walk away technique. Usually, you will be called back again, and the price you offer may be accepted by the shopkeeper.

6. Try to wear plain clothes without jewelry. If your clothes and ornaments make you appear to be rich, the price proposed by the seller will accordingly be a little higher. But this is not a must and should not prevent you from being be yourself.

Q:

What are your opinion after seeing the video film?

Is bargaining with street vendors a good idea?

“Pretend to walk away” is this strategy works?

Tips on How to Bargain and Save Money?

What are the Pros and Cons of Bargaining?

What do you think the street venders in Taiwan?

What are the different shopping cultures around the world?

What do you think about Chinese products?

追求幸福秘訣---哈佛75年研究

The secrets to happiness revealed by the Harvard 75 years study    Businessinsider.com  Tanya Lewis

The researchers surveyed the men about their lives (including the quality of their marriages, job satisfaction, and social activities) every two years and monitored their physical health (including chest X-rays, blood tests, urine tests, and echocardiograms) every five years.

1. Close relationships

The men in both groups of the Harvard study who reported being closer to their family, friends, or community tended to be happier and healthier than their less social counterparts. They also tended to live longer. By comparison, people who said they were lonelier reported feeling less happy. They also had worse physical and mental health, as defined above.

A 2014 review of dozens of studies published in the journal Social and Personality Psychology Compass suggests that loneliness can get in the way of mental functioning, sleep, and well-being, which in turn increases the risk of illness and death.

2. Quality (not quanity) of relationships

It's not just being in a relationship that matters. Married couples who said they argued constantly and had low affection for one another (which study authors defined as "high-conflict marriages") were actually less happy than people who weren't married at all, the Harvard study found.

However, the effect of relationship quality seems to depend somewhat on age. A 2015 study published in the journal Psychology and Aging that followed people for 30 years found that the number of relationships people had was, in fact, more important for people in their 20s, but the quality of relationships had a bigger effect on social and psychological well being when people were in their 30s.

3. Stable, supportive marriages

Being socially connected to others isn't just good for our physical health. It also helps stave off mental decline. People who were married without having divorced, separating, or having "serious problems" until age 50 performed better on memory tests later in life than those who weren't, the Harvard study found.

All of this suggests that strong relationships are critical to our health.

Society places a lot of emphasis on wealth and "leaning in" to our work, Waldinger said. "But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community."

 Q:

How to create good quality of life? How to be happier?

How importance about job satisfaction, and social activities?

How friends make us happier?

Are married people happier than singles?

What are the ways to make someone happy?

How our surroundings influence happiness and health?

How to Improving mental and emotional health?

哈佛大學長達75年的「快樂」研究：擁有美好人生的 3 個秘訣      TED X Taiepi

你的人生目標是什麼？

根據一份最近針對千禧年出生的年輕人所做的調查，有超過八成的年輕人表示他們的人生目標是想成為有錢人，而有五成的年輕人說他們另個人生目標是變得有名。

其實並不難想像調查中年輕人對於名利的想望，起因於我們時常被規勸要在工作上全力以赴、接受更多挑戰、達成更高目標；這個想法也使我們對人生產生了一種想像：為了要有美好生活，必須實踐「拼命三郎」的行為模式與生活形態。

由美國哈佛大學教授塔爾班夏哈（Tal Ben-Shahar）所撰寫的暢銷書《更快樂》（Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment）中，以「正向心理學」說明了拼命三郎型的人們把達成目標當成衡量成就的標準，而不重視追求目標的過程，以致於他們無法享受所做的事情，老以為達到某個目標就能得到快樂。

班夏哈教授指出，實證研究和名人事蹟的確顯示，設定目標和個人成就確實有關聯，不過，和快樂之間就沒有直接關係。這也解釋了為何有些人達成目標後，卻沒有感受到原本預期會獲得的快樂感。

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

撇開功成名就，但如果其實快樂、健康、滿足感才是我們應該追求的人生終極目標，那又該如何達成？

哈佛大學醫學院臨床精神病學教授羅伯威丁格Robert Waldinger從他所主持的史上最長的「幸福感」（Happiness）研究，給了我們一個值得參考的答案。

這個哈佛大學針對成人生活所作的研究至今已進行75年，而威丁格教授是該研究的第四個主持人。從1938年開始，研究總共追蹤了724位成人，每一年研究團隊都會詢問研究對象的工作、生活、健康等狀況。

類似如此長期的大型研究都會面臨一些挑戰，例如：受測者中途退出、研究經費不足、研究員研究重心轉移或死亡而無人接手。但是基於堅持與運氣，原先的七百多位受測者中，至今還存活的大約有60%，而他們也都已經九十多歲。

研究是從兩大群背景迥異的美國波士頓居民開始。第一組是哈佛大學的大二學生，他們後來在二次世界大戰期間全都完成大學文憑，並且大部份的人都從軍參與戰事。第二組則是從波士頓地區最貧困的地區挑選出來的居民，他們住在破舊的房舍中，許多人家中都沒有乾淨的冷熱水。

當他們同意參加研究後，所有的青少年都被逐一訪談並接受醫療檢查，除此之外，研究人員還到所有研究對象的家中拜訪，親自與他們的父母親面談。後來這些青少年長大成人了，進入各行各業，有工廠工人、律師、瓦工、醫生、某一任美國總統等；也有些人酗酒，有些人患有精神分裂，有些人從社會底層一路往上爬至上流階級，也有些人則往全然不同的方向走。

大概在75年前沒有人可以想像這個研究至今仍持續進行，只是目前研究對象也開始轉向原先七百多位老先生老太太的兩千名子孫。

那麼，從七十幾年來、幾十萬頁的訪談資料與醫療記錄中，究竟帶給我們什麼樣的研究結果與啓發？

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「有個很清楚的訊息：良好的關係讓我們維持快樂與健康。就這樣。」威丁格教授微笑表示，關於「關係」有三個重點：

I. 孤單有害，社交活躍有益健康

與家人、朋友、社群保持較多聯繫的人，心靈比較快樂、身體也較健康；研究也顯示，社交活躍的人比較長壽。孤單的感覺對身心都是毒害，如果人們非自願地感到孤獨，會容易感到不快樂，在中年時健康狀況會提早衰退，大腦功能較早開始退化，因此容易早逝。

II. 友不在數量多寡，而在關係深淺

我們在人群、聚會或婚姻中也會感到孤獨，所以真正重要的是：關係的「質」。高衝突的關係對我們的健康有負面影響，例如：身處爭執不斷的婚姻，可能在健康上，還不如離婚的好。而反之，在良好與溫暖的關係中，對健康就有保護作用。

根據研究，人們進入五十歲時，影響他們日後的健康狀況的，不是膽固醇高低，而是他們對目前所在關係的滿意度。意思是說，在五十歲對關係擁有最高滿意度的人，在八十歲時是最健康的一群。顯然，親密的關係能減緩老化帶來的生理與心理衝擊。

III. 良好關係不只保護身體，也保護腦力

研究顯示，是否能在年老時感受到仰賴與信任另一方，對於腦部健康有重大影響。八十幾歲的老先生若能感覺到有可以依靠的對象，他的記憶力就能更長時間地保持清晰；反推之，若老先生沒有這種感受，他就可能提早面臨記憶力衰退。

從這個75年研究結果所得的智慧，在在說明了關係的重要—最快樂健康的人是與家人朋友擁有親密關係的那些人。只不過，對絕大多數的人而言，維持關係並不是件簡單的事，如著名心理學家阿德勒也曾說過，人的煩惱都是從人際關係而來。

「美好人生建立在良好關係上。」威丁格教授在結語強調著，雖然不容易，但是卻值得我們投入精神時間。不論你現在是二十五、四十或六十歲，問問自己，除了追求工作成就，你是否也想開始打造你的美好人生呢？

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