周五(9/4) 1. EQ 對 難搞的人 2.金錢問題

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EQ 對 難搞的人

Emotional intelligence:  for working with difficult people

By Carla Rudder (Editorial Team) | enterprisersproject

We all want to bring our best selves to work, but certain situations – or even people – can make that difficult. When someone constantly challenges your ideas, takes all the credit, or talks behind your back, it can feel like a personal attack. Even when someone works differently than you do – for example, they are introverted and you are not – it can feel hard to communicate and work effectively. In both scenarios, your productivity can suffer if interpersonal issues start to impact your work.

How can you use your emotional Intelligence to rise above the workplace drama and be effective in your role?

“Perhaps the first and most important thing is to recognize that your dislike of another person boils down to the feelings you have towards them,” says Drew Bird, founder of The EQ Development Group. “This is a result of what you know about them as well as your experiences with them at work. Looking at it in this cold, factual way is an important step. After all, they are just a bundle of characteristics and behaviors, just like you.”

[ How does your EQ stack up? Read also: Emotional intelligence test: 5 self-evaluation tools for leaders. ]

5 types of personalities

If you are struggling with interpersonal issues at work, consider, for example, the following office personalities – and how you work with them.

The person who’s out to get you:

“We all too often react to a story we make up about what someone ‘has done to us,’” says Bob Kantor, founder, Kantor Consulting Group. “However, people do things for many different reasons, often having nothing to do with us. We read meaning into their actions or words because of our own issues and background. We then react to that story we create – not to what actually happened.

“I find that the simplest approach to dealing with difficult people and situations is to not take anything personally,” Kantor continues. “Be curious about what is causing someone to say or act the way they are behaving. Seek to truly understand their point of view and their underlying thought process. Use active listening to demonstrate you have heard and understood them.”

The gossip:

Gossips also delight in drawing others into their toxic conversations.

“Gossips and busybodies love to talk about others behind their backs, put them down, and spread harmful rumors,” says Judith Orloff MD, author of Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People, and member of the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. “They also delight in drawing others into their toxic conversations. Start by letting go of your need to be liked, please everyone, or control what they say. Then be direct. Say: ‘Your comments are hurtful. How would you like people talking about you like that?’

“You can also simply change the subject and refuse to participate,” she suggests. “Don’t share intimate information with gossipmongers. And finally, don’t take gossip personally. Realize that gossips aren’t happy or secure. Do what you can to rise to a higher place, and ignore them.”

The introvert:

“The IT world is full of introverts, and many people move into management because they are extroverts,” notes David Egts,  self-identifying introvert and chief technologist, North America public sector, Red Hat. “Extroverts understanding how introverts think (and vice versa) is essential to bring out the best in everyone. I highly recommend the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and its accompanying TED Talk.”

The egomaniac:

“Egomaniacs have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and self-importance, crave attention, and require constant praise,” Orloff says. “Although they can sometimes be quite charming, they nevertheless know how to belittle you and make you serve them. Narcissistic people value control and power, and they lack empathy. Don’t allow your self-worth to hinge on them. Instead, seek out supportive coworkers and colleagues.

“And finally, to get their cooperation, frame your request in ways they can hear, such as showing them how your request will benefit them,” she advises.

The highly opinionated:

“Sometimes the people you don’t like give you feedback. Even if the feedback is negative, the person providing the feedback is giving it because they care, or he or she wouldn’t have said anything in the first place,” Egts points out. “Also, remember that you can’t control the other person – the only thing you can do is control your reaction to the feedback. The book Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well doesn’t spend any time discussing how to give feedback but rather how to receive it (positive and negative) in a constructive way.”

 

金錢問題

Money Problems   halfofus

Sometimes the things that cause us stress or anxiety are related to what’s going on in our heads, and other times it’s about tangible problems in our lives. Worrying about money is a common issue that can cause a huge amount of stress. That stress can spill over into other areas of our lives and impact our work, school and relationships.

When it comes to worries over problems like money, there are two main categories these issues fall into:  things we can change and things we can’t change. If we’re running low on money every month, we can take a look at our budget and see if there are compromises we can make to help balance things out. If we’re overwhelmed by credit card debt, we can work on a plan to pay that down and try to use credit more responsibly. An important step in dealing with financial stress is to identify those areas where we can make change.

Sometimes we feel panic about things we can’t do anything about immediately. Maybe we just feel overwhelmed that we’re going to have to start making student loan payments soon. Maybe we feel sad because we can’t afford to do some of the things our friends do. Or maybe we have to work long hours to cover our financial obligations and that workload is stressful. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anything related to your finances, talking to a counselor can help you manage that stress.

---

Here's the No. 1 reason why 56% of Americans lose sleep over money

Anna Hecht   cnbc

If money problems are keeping you up at night, you are not alone. A new survey from Bankrate shows that more than half (56%) of U.S. adults lose sleep at night over at least one money-related issue. Of those who are tossing and turning, 18% are doing so because of credit card debt, which is the No. 1 reason people are losing sleep, the survey found.

This isn’t surprising. Money is the second most common source of stress for Americans, according to a 2017 survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). And for both millennials and Gen Z, it’s the most common source of stress overall, according to the APA’s 2018 edition of the survey.

Women, parents, and children under the age of 18 are the most likely to lose sleep over credit card debt, according to the Bankrate report. Survey respondents also said they are more likely to stress over credit card debt than other pressing matters, such as climate change, raising children, educational expenses, and stock market volatility.

The good news? Survey respondents remain optimistic. Almost two-thirds (63%) of those struggling to get a good night’s sleep due to money-related problems believe that things will get better and that they will be able to resolve their biggest issue.

If you stress over credit card debt, there are strategies to help make sure you spend responsibly and pay off your bills on time. Priya Malani, a founding partner at Stash Wealth, recommends thinking about whether you can truly afford the items that you are buying before charging anything to your card.

“Remember, never put something on your credit card that you can’t pay for in full when the statement is due, or else you’re using your credit card to live a lifestyle you can’t afford,” Malani said.

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周六(8/29)1.加強個人魅力 2.首因效應 與第一印象

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加強個人魅力

Developing Charisma (mindtools)

Body Language

Body Language and "presence" are important aspects of charisma. Without saying a word, the right body language can transmit strength, warmth, and likability.

Start by standing up straight, with your shoulders back and your head up. Good posture not only makes you look confident and in control, but it also makes you feel this way!

Research shows that charismatic people tend to be very positive, so do your best to maintain a positive outlook  .

Helping Others Feel Good

Charismatic people make others feel great. Instead of focusing on their own success, they spend a great deal of time and energy trying to lift others up. By helping the people around them, they create an environment of positive energy that others are naturally drawn to.

You can do this by giving help and expertise whenever people need it. Be humble about your achievements and give people sincere praise   and gratitude when they do something good.

You can also help others by becoming a mentor , by coaching   less-experienced team members, and by practicing random acts of kindness like bringing in muffins to the office or making coffee for a busy colleague.

A genuine smile, when appropriate, can also help to make people feel good.

Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

There is a strong link between high Emotional Intelligence  and charisma. Leaders with high emotional intelligence are aware of their own emotions, as well as of the emotions of those around them. This awareness allows them to stay cool under pressure and give people what they need emotionally.

Empathy is an important part of this. When you're able to understand other people's perspectives, wants, and needs, you open the door for greater understanding and connection.

Self-Confidence

Charismatic people have confidence, and they know how to be assertive.

Start by Building Self-Confidence  . You can do this by using your strengths more at work, by setting and achieving small goals, and by developing the knowledge and skills that you need to do your job effectively. Also, develop your public speaking skills  , so that you can speak clearly and confidently in front of a group.

Questions:

How to develop charisma?

How to make people instantly like you?

How to help others feel good?

How to get along with colleagues?

How to give people sincere praise?  

What are the ways to maintain a positive attitude?

What are the ways to be more empathetic?

首因效應 與第一印象

First Impressions Matter: The Primacy Effect    opentextbooks.org

It has frequently been said that “first impressions matter.” Social psychological research supports this idea. The primacy effect describes the tendency for information that we learn first to be weighted more heavily than is information that we learn later. One demonstration of the primacy effect was conducted by Solomon Asch (1946). In his research, participants learned some traits about a person and then made judgments about him. One half of the participants saw this list of traits:

You may have noticed something interesting about these two lists—they contain exactly the same traits but in reverse order.

Asch discovered something interesting in his study: because the traits were the same, we might have expected that both groups would form the same impression of the person, but this was not at all the case. Rather, Asch found that the participants who heard the first list, in which the positive traits came first, formed much more favorable impressions than did those who heard the second list, in which the negative traits came first. Similar findings were found by Edward Jones (1968), who had participants watch one of two videotapes of a woman taking an intelligence test. In each video, the woman correctly answered the same number of questions and got the same number wrong. However, when the woman got most of her correct answers in the beginning of the test but got more wrong near the end, she was seen as more intelligent than when she got the same number correct but got more correct at the end of the test.

Primacy effects also show up in other domains, even in those that seem really important. For instance, Koppell and Steen (2004) found that in elections in New York City, the candidate who was listed first on the ballot was elected more than 70% of the time, and Miller and Krosnick (1998) found similar effects for candidate preferences in laboratory studies.

This is not to say that it is always good to be first. In some cases, the information that comes last can be most influential. Recency effects, in which information that comes later is given more weight, although much less common than primacy effects, may sometimes occur. For example, de Bruin (2005) found that in competitions such as the Eurovision Song Contest and ice skating, higher marks were given to competitors who performed last.

Considering the primacy effect in terms of the cognitive processes central to human information processing leads us to understand why it can be so powerful. One reason is that humans are cognitive misers. Because we desire to conserve our energy, we are more likely to pay more attention to the information that comes first and less likely to attend to information that comes later. In fact, when people read a series of statements about a person, the amount of time they spend reading the items declines with each new piece of information (Belmore & Hubbard, 1987). Not surprisingly, then, we are more likely to show the primacy effect when we are tired than when we are wide awake and when we are distracted than when we are paying attention (Webster, Richter, & Kruglanski, 1996).

Another reason for the primacy effect is that the early traits lead us to form an initial expectancy about the person, and once that expectancy is formed, we tend to process information in ways that keep that expectancy intact. Thinking back to Chapter 2 and the discussion of social cognition, we can see that this of course is a classic case of assimilation—once we have developed a schema, it becomes difficult to change it. If we learn that a person is “intelligent” and “industrious,” those traits become cognitively accessible, which leads us to develop a positive expectancy about the person. When the information about the negative features comes later, these negatives will be assimilated into the existing knowledge more than the existing knowledge is accommodated to fit the new information. Once we have formed a positive impression, the new negative information just doesn’t seem as bad as it might have been had we learned it first. This is an important factor in explaining the halo effect, which is the influence of a global positive evaluation of a person on perceptions of their specific traits. Put simply, if we get an initially positive general impression of someone, we often see their specific traits more positively. The halo effect has been demonstrated in many social contexts, including a classic investigation by Bingham and Moore (1931) on job interviewing and a far more recent study of students’ evaluations of their professors (Keeley, English, Irons, & Hensley, 2013).

You can be sure that it would be good to take advantage of the primacy and halo effects if you are trying to get someone you just met to like you. Begin with your positive characteristics, and only bring the negatives up later. This will create a much better outcome than beginning with the negatives.

Key Takeaways

    Every day we must size up the people we interact with. The process of doing this is known as person perception.

    We can form a wide variety of initial impressions of others quickly and often quite accurately.

    Nonverbal behavior is communication that does not involve speaking, including facial expressions, body language, touching, voice patterns, and interpersonal distance. We rely on nonverbal behavior in our initial judgments of others.

    The particular nonverbal behaviors that we use, as well as their meanings, are determined by social norms, and these may vary across cultures.

    In comparison with positive information about people, negative information tends to elicit more physiological arousal, draw greater attention, and exert greater impact on our judgments and impressions of people.

    People are only moderately good at detecting deception, and experts are not usually much better than the average person.

    We integrate traits to form judgments of people primarily by averaging them.

    Negative and central traits have a large effect on our impressions of others.

    The primacy effect occurs because we pay more attention to information that comes first and also because initial information colors how we perceive information that comes later.

    These processes also help to explain how the halo effect occurs.

Exercises and Critical Thinking

    Consider a case where you formed an impression of someone quickly and on only a little information. How accurate do you think your judgment was and why? What information did you take into account? What information might you have missed?

    Consider some of the nonverbal behaviors that you and your friends use when you communicate. What information are you usually trying to communicate by using them? When do you find yourself using more vigorous gesturing and why?

    Give an example of a situation in which you have noticed the effects of central traits on your perception of someone. Why do you think that this happened?

    Describe a situation where you were influenced by either the primacy or the halo effect in your initial perceptions of someone. How accurate did those initial perceptions turn out to be and why?

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周五(8/28) 1.情人節 成為商人A錢的日子 2.有願望 就有力量!

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情人節 成為商人A錢的日子

How did Valentine's Day become a huge commercial boom?

Gerren Keith Gaynor

Valentine's Day Origins: From Cupid to Chaucer

Valentine's Day Origins: Fox News spoke to expert Nikki Lewis who deals with love year-round to learn more about the heart-filled holiday. Lewis is co-founder of the BEVY, a bespoke matchmaking service located in New York and California, and explained that while the theories surrounding Valentine’s Day are murky, the stories behind them help contribute to the February 14th holiday that we celebrate today.

Every year for Valentine’s Day, lovers around the world pull out all the stops for their sweetheart.

From the traditional flowers and chocolate to more expensive gifts such as diamonds, the holiday is just as much about spending your hard-earned cash as it is about love.

In fact, this year consumers are anticipated to spend an average of $196.31 and a record total of $27.4 billion, according to data released by the National Retail Federation (NRF).

So if you’re feeling the pressure to get your significant other the perfect gift for V-Day, it’s likely because the commercialization of the holiday is by capitalist design.

“Commerce rather than ethnicity would be the creative and guiding hand in the holiday’s American rebirth,” Schmidt wrote. “When merchants rediscovered the [holiday], the former transformed the latter, not vice versa, as a merchants systematically extended the apparatus of the market into the realm of celebration.”

While companies may not have created the holiday and some of its traditions, they have certainly capitalized on it. Fast forward to the present day and we can expect to see companies rolling in the dough, as the number of Americans expected to celebrate this year has increased to 55 percent from 51 percent last year.

Department stores are the most popular Valentine’s Day shopping destination, and they are visited by 36 percent of shoppers, the NRF reports. Thirty-two percent of shoppers are expected to seek business at discount and online stores, while 19 percent at specialty stores, 17 percent at florists, 15 percent at local small businesses, and clothing stores and jewelry shops are tied with 11 percent of shoppers.

So while Valentine’s Day may be a traditional holiday about romance, there’s nothing accidental about its tendency to hit your pockets. Love may be free, but Valentine’s Day as we know it? Not so much.

Valentine's Day is yet another commercialized holiday         dailytargum

Valentine’s Day, like all modern holidays, has become a widely commercialized holiday, with the average amount spent on gifts increasing by $60 over the past decade.

Monetized love is an old concept.

Anything that humans desire will be commercialized, as hijacking things that people want dearly will always lead to high profits, with love and intimacy being no exception. Online dating sites are another example of this, with many services either displaying advertisements or requiring a subscription to use.

Commercialization took root in America in the 1840s, and now even those not romantically involved can take part in the holiday via “anti-valentine” merchandise, according to Big Think.

“In the 1840s, an American newspaper called The Public Ledger endorsed the holiday saying that people needed ‘more soul-play and less head-work’ and more opportunities that allowed for an ‘abandon of feeling.’ The meaning of ’valentine’ transformed from signifying a person to referring to an object of exchange,” according to the article.

Still, there are pros and cons that come with the dilution of a holiday with such rosy roots.

Many fundraising efforts are based around holidays and Valentine’s Day is no exception. Groups, organizations and charities jump on the holiday to infiltrate the emotions of potential donors, using the special day to reach deeper into the wallets of those they request money from.

We are not arguing that fundraising — assuming the organization in question is using the money correctly — is ever a bad thing, or that these groups are somehow corrupt for using holidays to raise funds. It does say something about society as a whole, though, that groups feel a need to exploit holidays for this money. Why are people not generous at all times?

Dialing it in to the minutiae of relationships, which Valentine’s Day is based around, the average American spending $60 more this decade is a sign of multiple problems.

This is due in part to the rampant commercial system instituted in America. This is a system which is based heavily around advertising and injecting propaganda into the mind of the consumer, essentially taking advantage of them.

“ … the marketing machines of many companies turned their wheels to lure more and more customers into celebrating the holiday and convince them to purchase valentines — in the forms of cards, chocolates, flowers and jewelry — for their loved ones. Nowadays, even for the noncelebrating or single individual, there is plenty of anti-Valentine merchandise to go around,” according to the article.

There is also an old trope that some couples only express their love on certain days of the year — birthdays, anniversaries and, of course, Valentine’s Day — and it is true in a sense. Through the mundanity of everyday life, many couples get lost in their daily grinds and do not show their affection as much as they should.

This is not only applicable to romantic pairings, but also to any human relationship. Valentines can be sent out to friends, family and more, but why do we feel such a need to go above and beyond on this one day of the year?

Because we do not express these emotions throughout it. If we did, the need to extravagantly display our feelings would not come to fruition in the first place, and the holiday’s commercialization would not be as bloated as it is.

We are not arguing that displaying love through gifts is wrong in anyway, or that fundraising should not be done around the holidays. 

What the point really boils down to is this: We should not feel the need to ever go above and beyond when displaying our common humanity — whether that be in a romantic pairing or at a fundraiser — because we should be going above and beyond all the time.

If we all pulled together to show how much we all mean to each other, the commercialization of holidays would not be a problem.

It is an idealized view of the situation, but if not for ideals, what would we have to aspire to? In addition to showing your love for others — or your lack of it — this Valentine’s Day, take some time to reflect on how you could let those around you, particularly the less fortunate, know that you care.

 

有願望 就有力量!

Where There is a Will There is a Way   toppr.com

Where there is a will there is a way is one of the most used proverbs to date. This proverb has a lot of meaning when we come to think of it. Its essential meaning is that if you set your mind to do something, you can easily do it. In other words, it shows us the importance of will power and how it can bring a change in someone’s life. Will power is the desire to achieve something. If you have the will power to do something, then nothing can stop you from doing so. This proverb is equally applicable in almost all aspects of life. Similarly, it holds utmost importance in various ways.

Where There’s A Will There’s A Way! You Can Make Your Success Happen!

Heidi Gottlieb

I grew up hearing my Mom often saying, “Where there’s a Will, there’s a way”. I’ve passed that expression onto my own kids, and I’m pretty sure they’ll pass it down to their kids when they have them. I was saying those words before I even really thought about them or knew what they meant. We hear about will often, but we don’t think too much about what that is; it’s the power of control the mind has over its actions. The irony about those words, “Where there’s a Will, there’s a way”, is after I got to be old enough to understand them, I realized that as empowering as they were then…as they are now, and as they can be to whomever I say them to, is what ultimately you choose to do with those words.

As frequent as my Mom expressed what seemed like that childhood mantra to me, it didn’t seem to fuel her the way it has fueled me. It is in the end, like everything else in life-what we do with what we been given. Regardless of the fact that my Mom continually repeated those amazing words, she may not have embraced them in the same way. She did me the tremendous favor however of sharing those words.

Having the concept of “Where there’s a Will, there’s a way” in my mind has gotten me through some very trying times. Your thoughts determine your actions, which determines your outcomes. This is why it’s so important for us to think positive thoughts about ourselves. If you notice yourself thinking negative thoughts, it’s essential that you let go of those thoughts and replace them with empowering positive thoughts. You need to think of yourself as a winner, your doing this has a snowball effect. Once you tell yourself the possibility of life and the pursuit of happiness, you will attract other positive people with positive thoughts and the percentage of positive things is more likely to occur.

We have choices in life. Yes, things do happen, but there are ways to look at things. Why not choose to think that things will turn out to the better side because you possess the ability to make it happen?

“Those who say things can’t be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it”

Here’s a kick-starter to begin getting your Will going:

    I can do it

    I know there is a solution

    I am smart enough and strong enough to figure this out

    I know what I’m talking about

    It doesn’t matter if I fail – what matters is that I TRY

    I am loveable and capable

    I create anything I want

    I am able to solve any problem that comes my way

    I can handle anything that life hands me

    I have all the energy I need to do everything I want to do

    I am attracting all the right people into my life

    I see all the possibilities in my life

    I release myself from anger

    I choose to see each obstacle as an opportunity to grow

    I make a difference in the world

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周六(8/22)1.用聲音創造好印象 2.如何過有意義的生活?

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:30

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用聲音創造好印象

How to use your voice to make a good impression    BY WILMA DEN HARTIGH

How to Talk, Act and Dress Your Way to Success, says good communication is a powerful sales tool and one of the most important factors that can influence business success.

Rissen-Harrisberg advises that people stay away from fake accents and an unnatural or forceful voice. "Use your voice pitch, which is how high or low the frequency of your voice is when you speak, to come across as sincere and confident", she says.

"The more serious you are, the more slowly you need to speak"

She adds that people who speak with a rich, resonant voice in the lower frequencies, are generally perceived to be more credible and sincere.

What can I do right now to improve my voice?

1. Practice breathing consciously. This means to breathe deeply. In this way your voice will come like a balloon from the stomach and will be projected out in a resounding way.

2. What if I mumble all the time? Open your mouth and project your voice. What often stops the sound is your teeth and lips. Practice opening your mouth by saying the word ‘ouch’.

3. Slow down. Speaking too quickly makes it difficult for other people to grasp what you are saying. Giving your speech meaning comes from using the correct pace. The more serious you are, the more slowly you need to speak (but within reason). This gives the listener time to pick up everything you say and understand that it is important.

4. Pause. While talking you would naturally pause to breathe. But pausing is also a powerful tool that adds colour and variety to speech. It gives listeners time to think about what you have just said and creates a bit of suspense.

5. Let down your barriers. Vulnerability and authenticity are two of the most captivating characteristics in a public speaker.

6. Don't over prepare. Know what you will be talking about, but over preparation can create separation from your audience. Sometimes the most memorable presentation is one where people can sense that you are present and say what comes to you in the moment.

7. Seek professional help. Voice training can help you develop a more flexible vocal tone using proper breathing techniques and vocal exercises to achieve a more flexible and varied tone.

Q:

How to use your voice to make a good impression?

How to make a speech more attractive?

How to make a good impression?

How to sharpen your communication skills?

How to talk in a sincere and confident voice?

How to make the listener fully understand everything you say?

如何過有意義的生活?

Ways to Live a More Meaningful Life      David Loker   lifehack

Know What’s Important

Know what’s important for you. Write down your top 5 things that you believe are the essence of how you want to live life. This can include things like “family time,” or “sing every day.” It could also include more complex ideas, like “honesty” and “simplicity.”

Discover Your Life’s Purpose

If you had to give yourself a reason to live, what would it be? What would you stand for? What principles do you hold highest? Is your life’s purpose to help others? Is it to inspire others with great works of art, or you words? Finding your life’s purpose is a daunting task, and when I first heard the idea, I had no idea where to start. For methods on discovering your life’s purpose, I recommend Steve Pavlina’s blog entries on the subject. I also recommend reading the article What Makes Life Worth Living.

Be Self-Aware

Be aware of yourself and your actions. Remain mindful of what you do at all times, and make sure you are living life according to your principles, your life’s purpose, and what you are passionate about. Review your actions each day, taking stock of those that strayed from your path. Work towards correcting any incidents in the future. Meditation is a great tool for accomplishing this task. It helps us increase our self-awareness throughout the day.

Focus

Rather than chasing 3 or 4 goals and making very little progress on them, place all of your energy on one thing. Focus. Not only will you alleviate some of the stress associated with trying to juggle so many tasks, you will be much more successful. Try and align your goal with something you are passionate about, so that there will be an intrinsic drive to work hard and do well.

People More Than Things

Often, we are faced with wanting to buy material goods. I recommend you consider carefully what you purchase, and think more about spending your money on experiences with friends and family. Not only will this give deeper meaning to your life by focusing on your relationships rather than material wealth, but you will be a happier person as a result.

Find a Way to Give Back

Do something that both honors your beliefs and passions, while giving something back to the world. By giving something back, we inevitably find purpose in the act. By cultivating more of these activities, you will find your life has more meaning and purpose behind it.

Set Daily Goals

In the morning, before you start your day, create a list of 3 goals that you find fulfilling and meaningful. Make sure they adhere to your set of principles and beliefs. Tackle the hardest things first! Don’t make this list too long. By placing too many things on the list, you’ll feel the urge to multi-task, which is not good, or you’ll feel overwhelmed, which isn’t good either. By trying to do less, you’ll end up doing more.

Q:

How to live a more meaningful life?

Do you know that what’s important to you?

Sharing your top 3 things that you believe are the essence of how you want to live life?

How to discover your life’s purpose?

How to be focus?

What are your opinion about this saying “life by focusing on your relationships rather than material wealth”?

How to find a way to give back?

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周五(8/21)1.當事情搞砸! 2.姿勢決定你是誰

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當事情搞砸!

9 things smart people do after they screw up at work 2020

careerpoint-solutions.com

1. Sit tight and plan to deal with it

The worst possible thing you can do at the worst possible moment is leave in a huff or cloud of embarrassment. Try to calm down and continue or regain your train of thought, or at the very least excuse yourself before leaving the room. Take measured steps and ask if you can continue the discussion later, or tomorrow. You will not be at your best logic in the midst of a fight-or-flight response.

2. Assess the situation

First, take stock of the potential professional carnage. Did you really mess up as badly as you think you did? Ask a trusted colleague or mentor to walk through the situation again- it might not be as bad as you think. If it turns out not to be entirely awful, follow up the next day.

3. Add the personal touch

When possible, try to reschedule another meeting. Pick up the phone so you can immediately smooth over any potential awkwardness, or send a polite but conversational email or DM suggesting you meet again to clarify some issues. Be friendly. Be genuinely humble if you did goof in some way, but explain in no uncertain terms that while you might have messed up a point or two, overall you can fix whatever needs repairing. And then leave it at that. Fussing too much will further erode your counterpart’s confidence that you can do what you promised. And it probably goes without saying, but if you promise to fix something, you should do just that.

4. Learn from your mistakes

Okay. You goofed. Who doesn’t? Hopefully, it isn’t a regular thing.

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Once you realize that you messed up, it’s time to ‘fess up as well, says Steven Grant, VP of Operations for Energy Solutions Direct. “Owning your mistake is the best way to ‘heal’ a situation,”

Instead of running flat-out to try to correct everyone else’s perceptions, instead step back and consider what you could do better next time, especially when it comes to a failed pitch or business deal.

“While it is of course important to try and ‘save’ the deal, it is typically much more important for you to understand WHY the pitch went so poorly and learn from these mistakes, says Grant.

“A bad pitch is one thing, a life-time of bad pitches is quite another.”

5. Give it time

Pay attention to the cues given by the person or corporation you’ve wronged, because even in professional settings, people heal at different rates.

“Oftentimes, it is better to try and salvage immediately, however, sometimes it is best to let yourself and other party(ies) step back from the situation and revisit,” Grant says.

And in case you’re wondering how long you have to apologize or rectify a situation, unless there was a specific deadline, there really is no time limit on apology and “sometimes it takes a relatively, significant amount of time to repair a relationship” says Grant.

6. Take the high road

Even if  you have no hope of ever working with someone — even your boss– again, you should probably apologize and in person if possible. Grant says “You should always do what is right, regardless of what you THINK the future holds.  However, if you have already apologized twice, this should be enough and “over-apologizing” can simply annoy the person.”

7. Use a wingman or wingwoman

Despite what they’ve always said, you know that your parents probably did have a favorite. If you’ve managed to irk your boss but still know that your pitch has great merit, consider backing away and asking a trusted colleague or project partner to plead your case or at least re-pitch. Include your name and contact information on the pitch or deck, but make it clear that you’ve learned your lesson. In this way, your ideas and creativity will still take center stage, even if you spent the early part of the project with your foot planted firmly in your mouth.

8. Put yourself in their shoes and think of the big picture

And if you’re on the receiving end of the goof of the century, try to remember what it’s like to be on the other side of the equation.

“If someone messes up a pitch yet I know has a willingness to learn, I will coach him on what he did right, what he did wrong, let him take a day to regroup and try it again,” Grant says.

9. Let it gooooo

No matter how sincere your apology or clever your repair plan is, there are going to be people who choose to rebuff your efforts or completely lose faith in you. Sometimes the best business move is to realize that you can’t change their minds and just move on graciously.

姿勢決定你是誰

Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

Michelle McQuaid

In the heat of conversation have you ever found your mouth going dry, your palms starting to sweat and your brain struggling to put together two simple sentences? Completely deserted of confidence, perhaps you were left feeling powerless and full of self-doubt. And it was only hours later you came up with the perfect insight, the witty comeback or the cutting retort you knew the moment required.

Let’s face it, when it comes to confidence sometimes you probably have it … and sometimes it probably completely deserts you.  And while it seems we all have moments of feeling like we’re about to be discovered as the impostors we fear we are, Professor Amy Cuddy at Harvard Business School has found that by simply expanding your body you can feel more confident, less anxious and self-absorbed, and generally more positive.

If this sounds too good to be true, we highly recommend this TED Talk where she explains her research and shares the small two minute intervention you can use to improve your confidence. You might also find this article challenging some of these findings interesting, and Amy’s response.

What Will You Learn?

     [2:04] Researchers have found we make sweeping judgments about others from their body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, or who we ask out on a date.

    [3:37] The nonverbal expressions of power is about expanding and opening up –  you make yourself big, you stretch out, and you take up space. Consider the winner of a race crossing the finish line, their arms go up in the V and their chin is slightly lifted.

    [4:55] When you feel powerless you do exactly the opposite. You close up. You make yourself small. You don’t want to bump into the person next to you. Women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men. Women feel chronically less powerful than men.

    [7:57] Powerful people tend to be more assertive and more confident, more optimistic. They actually feel they’re going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly. They take more risks. Their testosterone levels are higher and their cortisol levels are lower than people with less power. Lower cortisol indicates they are not as reactive to stress.

    [9:37] Amy’s research has found that adopting a high-power pose for two minutes can give people a feeling of power and confidence, by increasing their testosterone levels and lowering their cortisol levels.

    [15:35] Amy suggests by adopting a power pose of confidence you can ‘fake it till you make it’. Do it enough times until you internalize it and become it.

What Can You Try?

How can you start expanding your body? Amy suggests trying:

    A two-minute power pose like Wonder Woman (we find this best done in a bathroom stall or somewhere private).

    Taking the time for a full starfish stretch in bed when you wake up in the morning.

    Keep your shoulders back and your chest open when presenting and sitting in meetings.

    Set posture reminders for yourself to spread out.

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