周六(8/31) 1.不小心 得罪人 2.吸血鬼購物狂

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

不小心 得罪人

When You (Accidentally) Offend Someone

Cindy Anderson

                                                                      

It can feel terrible when you unintentionally offend someone.  It can happen in marriage, with friends, or at work.  It can even happen with people we don’t know well.  It happens to everyone at some point or another.

None of us want to be responsible for someone feeling hurt or angry.  Handled poorly, it creates conflict, guilt, or ill-will for both people involved.  However, if you can use kindness and healthy communication, your mistakes may have the remarkable potential to strengthen your relationship, particularly if you are able to be gracious and respectful in your approach.

What can you do if you offend someone?

Don’t respond emotionally in return

Staying calm is one of the most important things that you can do.  If you get defensive, or fight back, it will only escalate the conflict and make things worse.  Don’t blame the other person, and don’t tell the other person that they are “over-reacting” or “too sensitive.”  Take a breath and let your body relax.

Although tempting to some, do not ignore the offended person

Many times, our human instincts tell us to avoid things that are difficult or unpleasant.  However, research tells us that the more we avoid conflict, the worse it gets.  If you ignore the person’s feelings, it can breed continued discomfort and awkwardness.  It can also make it more difficult for both of you to move on.

Consider your words

Take responsibility for what you said, and consider the feelings of the other person. Most likely, if the other person is offended, they have some emotional sensitivity to what you said (or what they thought you said).  For example, although you may have been offering help or assistance, the other person may have thought that you were criticizing their work.  Or in another example, you may have thought what you said was witty, but the other person thought you were putting them down.  It will be important for you to consider the other person’s feelings and consider how they may have heard your message.

Use reflective communication

Clarify what they are feeling by politely asking them.  “It sounds like you think I was disregarding your work, is that right?” Or in another example, “It sounds like you think I was dismissing how hard you worked on that project.”  Then pause and listen.  You will need to use humility, and a willingness to take the other person’s perspective.

If the you or other person is not calm, you may need to give it a little time

Take a few moments, and then approach the other person with empathy and kindness after some time has passed.  However, do not fall into the avoidance trap and never address it.

Apologize if needed, but don’t overdo it

Don’t apologize for your existence.  “I’m sorry, I think we have our wires crossed,” is acceptable.  But, “I’m so sorry – I’m such a terrible person,” makes it about you, and takes away from the apology.  Or in another example, “I’m sorry my words hurt you.  That was not my intention at all,” is a good response.  But, “I’m such a jerk/worthless human-being,” is too much, and not very helpful.  In addition, don’t keep apologizing or repeating asking the other person to forgive you.  Just look them in the eye, kindly apologize, and accept whatever response they give you.

Remember to consider the context

There are lots of reasons why people can feel offended.  Sometimes, people are sensitive to an issue or have received negative feedback before.  Other times, people are going through a hard time that we do not know about. They may be under an incredible amount of stress, and their offense has nothing to do with you.  They may be struggling with other life stressors, or cannot accept imperfection in themselves.  The possibilities are endless.

Be kind to yourself

Notice your own feelings with kindness. Remind yourself that we all make mistakes or have hurt someone at some time.  It was likely not your intention to offend. Remember that no one and nothing is perfect. Take pride that you are trying to live by your values and correct the misperception as best you can.  Allow the situation to end without guilt and rumination.

吸血鬼購物狂

Vampire shoppers    metro.news

vampire shopping – this term refers to shopping late at night - traditionally a time when vampires appear.

SLEEP-DEPRIVED parents and gamers head the ranks of ‘vampire shoppers’ who log on to make purchases between 1am and 6am.

Argos has seen numbers surge — and they spend, on average, 20 per cent more than daytime online shoppers.

‘Gamers appear to be the most likely group to stay up late and shop,’ said a spokesman for the retailer.

‘But sleep-deprived parents also log on in the dead of night to stock up on baby goods.’

Top zombie hour buys by people on smartphones, tablets and laptops include children’s toys, games consoles, baby gear and vacuum cleaners.

‘Pillows also see a big increase in the night as people become dissatisfied with their sleep set-up,’ said the spokesman. ‘Batteries are also high on shoppers’ lists, after realising they’ve forgotten something essential.’

Steve Hunter, of Norwich, said he logged on to shop after his wife and two kids were in bed. ‘I often struggle to sleep, so I sometimes find myself doing a bit of shopping in the middle of the night,’ the 41-year-old said.

‘I don’t know if it’s healthy, but it’s about the only time I get any peace and quiet. Last week I bought a couple of video games, a vacuum cleaner and a few birthday presents for my youngest.’

Read More 看完整內容

週五(8/30)1.社交與快樂的重要性 2. Double standard 今晚7:30 開始

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:30--9:30

感謝有您支持的這些日子——

                

2019年8月30日，星期五 讀書會聚會 再出發

很幸運地認識了許多好朋友

Blly堅信，英文學習，不但能增長知識見聞，且能夠造就友誼。

讓我們持續鼓勵並出席這個學習平台

在一成不變的工作之餘 學習是有益的----

謝謝您

……

另有

補充講義一篇   現場發放

1. 社交與快樂的重要性!

Social support is one of the most important things for creating happiness.

Social connections

The Benefits of Social Support for happiness

We humans are social creatures. People with more supportive families and friends are generally happier and more successful in life. We thrive in supportive environments and we need other human beings to reaffirm our existence.

Several studies have proven that being in supportive relationships contributes to our psychological well-being. It benefits us in the following ways:

    Gives us a sense of belonging: No one wants to be an outcast. We thrive when we are accepted. Being accepted into a group and spending time with people helps keep loneliness at bay. We need to feel that we’re not alone.

    Gives us a feeling of self-worth: Being accepted and called a friend, reinforces the conviction that you are a good person with value.

    Gives us a feeling of security: A supportive social network is a source of advice, guidance and motivation. We feel comfort in knowing that if we ever need assistance, there are people who will come to our aid.

Facts about social support and happiness

    In one study of 1400 students in Harvard, called Very Happy People, results showed that there was a 0.7 correlation between social support and happiness. Higher than the connection between smoking and cancer.

    Marriage is a cause of happiness when you get support from your partner.

    Research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler suggests that happiness, along with other behaviors is contagious. If you belong to a social network that has a general attitude of positivity, it will rub off on you. It is true that the company we keep influences our moods and behaviors.

    People who have one or more close friendships tend to be happier.

    People with few social ties are 2 to 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, as compared to those with stronger social bonds.

    People with strong and healthy relationships are less likely to feel stressed by challenging situations.

The Quality of your Social Network

Social network is about the number of people you interact with. You can count your social media friends to this group. But a social network is not the same as social support.

Social Support has more to do with the quality of your friends. If we want to be happy, building stronger ties should be one of our priorities. We need to cultivate relationships that go deeper than just a simple Hi and Hello. How many of your friends can you really rely on? Is there anyone you can turn to when you have problems? Someone who has your well-being and happiness in mind? A source of inspiration and hope?

In this advanced age of communication, even with the means to connect to each other, it seems that we are losing our ability to establish deep and meaningful relationships with people.

The Quality of our Social Network is Declining

In 1985, an American survey suggested that people have an average of 3 close friends. By the year 2006, it dropped to 2. 25% of the study group couldn’t name one close friend that they can rely on without doubt. It is no wonder that the World Health Organization reports 350 million cases of depression worldwide.

2. Double standard

補充講義一篇   現場發放

Read More 看完整內容

週五(8/30)1.社交與快樂的重要性 2. Double standard 今晚7:30 開始

板區橋文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉    PM 7:30--9:30

感謝有您支持的這些日子——

                

2019年8月30日，星期五 讀書會聚會 再出發

很幸運地認識了許多好朋友

Blly堅信，英文學習，不但能增長知識見聞，且能夠造就友誼。

讓我們持續鼓勵並出席這個學習平台

在一成不變的工作之餘 學習是有益的----

謝謝您

……

另有

補充講義一篇   現場發放

1. 社交與快樂的重要性!

Social support is one of the most important things for creating happiness.

Social connections

The Benefits of Social Support for happiness

We humans are social creatures. People with more supportive families and friends are generally happier and more successful in life. We thrive in supportive environments and we need other human beings to reaffirm our existence.

Several studies have proven that being in supportive relationships contributes to our psychological well-being. It benefits us in the following ways:

    Gives us a sense of belonging: No one wants to be an outcast. We thrive when we are accepted. Being accepted into a group and spending time with people helps keep loneliness at bay. We need to feel that we’re not alone.

    Gives us a feeling of self-worth: Being accepted and called a friend, reinforces the conviction that you are a good person with value.

    Gives us a feeling of security: A supportive social network is a source of advice, guidance and motivation. We feel comfort in knowing that if we ever need assistance, there are people who will come to our aid.

Facts about social support and happiness

    In one study of 1400 students in Harvard, called Very Happy People, results showed that there was a 0.7 correlation between social support and happiness. Higher than the connection between smoking and cancer.

    Marriage is a cause of happiness when you get support from your partner.

    Research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler suggests that happiness, along with other behaviors is contagious. If you belong to a social network that has a general attitude of positivity, it will rub off on you. It is true that the company we keep influences our moods and behaviors.

    People who have one or more close friendships tend to be happier.

    People with few social ties are 2 to 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, as compared to those with stronger social bonds.

    People with strong and healthy relationships are less likely to feel stressed by challenging situations.

The Quality of your Social Network

Social network is about the number of people you interact with. You can count your social media friends to this group. But a social network is not the same as social support.

Social Support has more to do with the quality of your friends. If we want to be happy, building stronger ties should be one of our priorities. We need to cultivate relationships that go deeper than just a simple Hi and Hello. How many of your friends can you really rely on? Is there anyone you can turn to when you have problems? Someone who has your well-being and happiness in mind? A source of inspiration and hope?

In this advanced age of communication, even with the means to connect to each other, it seems that we are losing our ability to establish deep and meaningful relationships with people.

The Quality of our Social Network is Declining

In 1985, an American survey suggested that people have an average of 3 close friends. By the year 2006, it dropped to 2. 25% of the study group couldn’t name one close friend that they can rely on without doubt. It is no wonder that the World Health Organization reports 350 million cases of depression worldwide.

2. Double standard

補充講義一篇   現場發放

Read More 看完整內容

周六(8/17) 1.機器人送貨到家 2.時空旅遊 回到過去?

星期六 聚會時間 晚上7:00-9:00

板橋區文化路一段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)

新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮左轉

機器人送貨到家

8 robots racing to win the delivery wars of 2019

By Jesus Diaz   fastcompany

CES 2019 has brought three new automated robot vehicles to an already hotly contested race to get your dinner, groceries, and packages to your home or office desk.

The goal of all these robots is to deliver for what the industry calls the “last mile,” or the distance from a local depot to a final destination. Right now, these routes are covered by humans in cars or vans. This is inefficient–it uses too much energy and worsens congestion. In some cases, for instance on campuses or inside large office complexes, it’s time-consuming and impractical.

Enter delivery robots. These small bots could, in theory, solve many of these “last mile” problems by offering an efficient, quick, and inexpensive way to get your stuff whenever you needed it. This is easier said than done; there are plenty of unanswered questions about how these bots should operate in society. They must be good citizens, respect humans, and do their job as invisibly as possible. All without getting attacked or bursting into flames first.

There’s a competition afoot to build the best delivery bot–and deploy them successfully in the real world. Here are some of the front-runners.

Meet the Loomo Delivery: a completely autonomous hauling robot debuted last week at CES 2019 by Segway, the personal mobility company (which seems to be doing lots of weird stuff these days).

If the Loomo looks like an office copier, well, that may be because it’s actually designed for use in offices. Segway’s aim here seems to be to own delivery within the many offices in the world that are large enough to need their own automated internal delivery systems to replace their human counterparts. The company says it’s aiming at China’s booming delivery market too, where the “last-mile delivery and takeout services market has been rapidly expanding with an annual growth rate of 30% to 50%.”

The company’s bot uses 4G or Wi-Fi to connect to the cloud to automatically set up map routes, adjust schedules, and be monitored by its human masters in real time. It can deliver a maximum weight of about 110 pounds. The technology that powers the Loomo Delivery bot is already available for preorder–but as a “personal transporter” that hearkens back to the company’s most famous product. The company says that the transporter’s success drove them to the development of Loomo Delivery.

Anybotics and Continental also introduced a new robot delivery system at CES 2019–one that scares the hell out of me after watching Metalhead, the Black Mirror episode about the hunting robo-dog assassin.

The two companies have invented a two-part solution: First, there’s an autonomous delivery van developed by Continental. Then, inside the van, there are robotic dogs developed by Anymal. When it gets to a particular area, the delivery van doors open and the dogs emerge, carrying packages and their destinations in their little AI-powered brains. This solves the problem of the limited range of small delivery bots. By deploying them from a larger vehicle, they can easily reach their destination and get back to the mothership to ride to another destination while recharging.

The companies say the robot dogs can carry your stuff on sidewalks, through doors, and up elevators and stairs–all the way to your home or office door. When it gets where it’s supposed to be, it places your package on your doorstep and rings your doorbell. Rest well for now, though: There’s no date for deployment yet.

This cute robot is Serve, a tiny electric beast that can carry up to 50 pounds over a 30-mile radius. According to Postmates–the delivery company looking to replace its costly gig-economy workers with a piece of machinery that never complains–the bot is designed to make people around it feel at ease.

For starters, the LIDAR-powered bot has big humanoid eyes, like Pixar’s cute robot Wall-E. Postmates CEO Bastian Lehmann said in a press note that these eyes are not just decoration: “We have developed a specific rover-human interface so that people understand what rovers are doing at any moment.” Postmates clearly hopes that Serve’s human-centered design will help it avoid running into people or clogging up sidewalks–common issues with delivery bots.

 

時空旅遊 回到過去?

How Traveling Back In Time Could Really, Physically Be Possible

It’s one of the greatest tropes in movies, literature, and television shows: the idea that we could travel back in time to alter the past. From the time turner in Harry Potter to Back To The Future to Groundhog Day, traveling back in time provides us with the possibility of righting wrongs in our own past. To most people, it’s an idea that’s relegated to the realm of fiction, as every law of physics indicates that motion forward through time is an absolute necessity. Philosophically, there’s also a famous paradox that seems to indicate the absurdity of such a possibility: if traveling backwards through time were possible, you’d be able to go back and kill your grandfather before your parents were ever conceived, rendering your own existence impossible. For a long time, there seemed to be no way to go back. But thanks to some very interesting properties of space and time in Einstein’s General Relativity, traveling back in time may be possible after all.

An illustration of the early Universe as consisting of quantum foam, where quantum fluctuations are large, varied, and important on the smallest of scales. Positive and negative energy fluctuations can create minuscule, quantum wormholes.

The place to start is with the physical idea of a wormhole. In our known Universe, we have tiny, minuscule quantum fluctuations in the fabric of spacetime on the smallest of scales. These include energy fluctuations in both the positive and negative directions, often very close by one another. A very strong, dense, positive energy fluctuation would create curved space in one particular fashion, while a strong, dense, negative energy fluctuation would curve space in exactly the opposite fashion. If you connected these two curvature regions together, you could — for a brief instant — arrive at the notion of a quantum wormhole. If the wormhole lasted for long enough, you could even potentially transport a particle through it, allowing it to instantly disappear from one location in spacetime and reappear in another.

Exact mathematical plot of a Lorentzian wormhole. If one end of a wormhole is built out of positive mass/energy, while the other is built of negative mass/energy, the wormhole can become traversible. Image credit: Wikimedia Commons user Kes47.

If we want to scale that up, however, to allow something like a human being through, that’s going to take some work. While every known particle in our Universe has positive energy and either positive or zero mass, it’s eminently possible to have negative mass/energy particles in the framework of General Relativity. Sure, we haven’t discovered any yet, but according to all the rules of theoretical physics, there’s nothing forbidding it.

If this negative mass/energy matter exists, then creating both a supermassive black hole and the negative mass/energy counterpart to it, while then connecting them, should allow for a traversible wormhole. No matter how far apart you took these two connected objects from one another, if they had enough mass/energy — of both the positive and negative kind — this instantaneous connection would remain. All of that is great for instantaneous travel through space. But what about time? Here’s where the laws of special relativity come in.

A “light clock” will appear to run different for observers moving at different relative speeds, but this is due to the constancy of the speed of light. Einstein’s law of special relativity governs how these time and distance transformations take place, but it means that the stationary and the moving parties age at different rates.

If you travel close to the speed of light, you experience a phenomenon known as time dilation. Your motion through space and your motion through time are related by the speed of light: the greater your motion through space, the less your motion through time. Imagine you had a destination that was 40 light years away, and you were able to travel at incredibly high speeds: over 99.9% the speed of light. If you got into a spaceship and traveled very close to the speed of light towards that star, then stopped, turned around, and returned back to Earth, you’d find something odd.

Due to time dilation and length contraction, you might reach your destination in only a year, and then come back in just another year. But back on Earth, 82 years would have passed. Everyone you know would have aged tremendously. This is the standard way time travel physically works: it takes you into the future, with the amount of travel forward in time dependent only on your motion through space.

Is time travel possible? With a large enough wormhole, such as one created by a supermassive black hole connected to its negative mass/energy counterpart, it just might be.

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