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什麼是真愛?
什麼是真愛?
What Is True Love? ilanelanzen.com
Nothing Is Hidden
People who are experiencing true love don’t hide stuff from each other. They openly share their lives because they want to share their lives with that person. That is a part of being in a loving long-term relationship with someone. You don’t want to hide anything from them because you want them to share in your life – the good and the bad – and understand what you experience.
There Is Complete Respect
If you have found true love, then you will give and receive respect. You will respect them for who they are and what they do in the world, including with you. You will see the good in them. You will treat them as a human being and view them as your equal, not your superior or someone who is lower than you. And, they will treat you with the same level of respect.
You Care About Each Other’s Welfare
When you have found true love, you care about each other’s happiness and health. This means that you don’t try to hurt their happiness or health in any way.
For instance, you don’t abuse them, physically or mentally. You don’t put them down, stress them out, or make them feel bad about what they do. Instead, you support them and make them feel good about themselves and what they do. You encourage them to do things that make them feel happy and healthy. And you do things for their happiness and health without them always having to ask you to.
You Don’t Focus On Their Flaws
This is not what a lot of people believe it to be. I hear many people (many in my direct life) who say that their abusive relationship is what true love is all about because they are willing to look past their partner’s faults and accept them for who they are. They are willing to take the physical and mental abuse, but it shows their partner just how much they care. That’s not true love, that’s being a victim. Accepting someone’s flaws means accepting that they are not perfect. It doesn’t mean accepting that they treat you poorly.
A flaw is something that they have not perfected yet, such as a weakness in putting their laundry away or a lack of commitment to things that could really benefit their lives. It is not something that they do to you to make you feel bad or hurt you.
You Keep Your Promises
A promise to someone you truly love has a lot of weight. Promises are an extension of trust. When someone you love promises to do something and breaks it, then they are breaking your trust on some level. This is why someone who truly loves you will inform you of the times they can’t make their promises instead of just leaving you hanging in the dust, and vice-versa.
You Are Willing To Stay During The Tough Times
Your partner gets sick, physically or mentally. They are struggling with a life crisis that has pushed them into a different state of being. They are struggling with finding themselves. All of these times can be tough, but if you are experiencing true love with someone, you will stay, support, and find ways to help them through their tough times.
讓你不開心的事
Things that could be making you unhappy – and how to change them
By Paula Beaton
#1. Your relationship
We're not talking friendships here, we're talking about romantic partners – your significant other. It's true that lack of a romantic relationship can be a source of unhappiness for many people, but being trapped in an unhappy relationship can often be worse. Did you know that a study of 3,000 adults in the UK revealed six out of 10 couples are unhappy in their relationships (1)? It's important to think about your needs as well as the needs of the other person, and assess whether your current relationship is meeting those needs. These could include:
- Need for time to be spent together, which can be a struggle depending on conflicting work schedules
- The need for shared interests
- Emotional needs, such as support when you're tackling a problem
If your partner is falling short in any of the above areas, you may be left feeling lonely and unsupported, which could lead to anxious thoughts and feelings or a low mood. The best way to resolve relationship issues or needs which are not being met is to talk about it with your other half – in a gentle, non-confrontational way; although occasional anger can be healthy! Use "I" instead of "You"- for example, “I love it when you come home early from work to spend time with me,” or "I feel lonely when you work late every night." Always try to focus on the positives before addressing the negatives. Unfortunately, if your partner isn't willing to meet your needs, it may be time to end the relationship.
#2. Your job
Work is a huge part of what defines us – did you know that the average man in the UK spends 11.5 years of his life at work (2)? That's a significant chunk of time! So it's important to ensure that, for the most part, you enjoy your job and it leaves you feeling fulfilled. Today, more people than ever before work flexible hours or work from home – in fact over 4 million people in the UK regularly work from home (3) – which means we spend less time commuting and working face-to-face with colleagues, clients and customers. Whilst this might be living the dream for some workers, others find this type of work isolating and need the hustle and bustle of a busy office in order to motivate themselves. It's important to think about whether the stress levels experienced on a daily basis at work are something you can cope with. If you regularly feel stressed (more than three days in a typical week), it might be time to cut back on your hours or consider moving into a new role. It's important to find a work-life balance, and there are ways to be happier at work:
#3. Your social life
A healthy social life is important for a number of reasons. Friendships impact who we are as people and they also have a knock-on effect on our life choices. The right circle of friends will bring out our best qualities and help make life more rewarding. Having a solid social circle can also be beneficial for your health – you're less likely to feel lonely and depressed if you have friends and family members to speak to about your problems. It can be hard to meet new people and boost your social life, but try some of the following:
Forget Facebook. Real friendships are about quality, not quantity. It's better to have two or three close friends you can depend on than 400 casual acquaintances
Appreciate your friends. Make sure you give as well as take – bake them a cake when their boyfriend dumps them, treat them to a meal out or organise a gaming or movie night to cheer them up when they're feeling low.
Keep in touch with old friends. Even if you've moved away from your home town, social media makes it easier than ever before to keep in touch. Or use Skype to video chat with friends back home – it's the perfect way to organise a trip back home!
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