選擇方向 決定命運
Your Destiny Is Determined by Your Decisions huffingtonpost.ca
"I do believe that one way to have a destiny is to choose one." Melinda McGraw
Like the quote above, I believe we have control over our destiny. Although the words "fate" and "destiny" mean similar things, to me they are quite different. Fate is what puts opportunities in front of us but our destiny is ultimately determined by our decisions. For instance, if you go to a party and meet the perfect guy that was fate. But what you do about it is your destiny.
I believe we are in full control of our choices and that our actions, in response to what fate offers us, matter. We are here to learn lessons and the hard decisions we have to make are what helps us grow as humans. Our destiny is not something we can sit by and let happen to us. We need to take action on the opportunities we are presented with fate may open doors but if it's our destiny, then WE have to walk through them. We can either let fate lead us through life or we can shape our own destiny.
"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bestselling author and spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra says we need a new way of looking at fate and free will. He believes that they are both influential in our lives, and that while fate might appear to have more influence over us, the balance keeps shifting the more we learn about it, so we might as well "assume that [our] potential for mastery is much greater than anyone now supposes." This is similar to how I believe our destiny can be shaped by our decisions.
However, I recognize that this is not always as easy as it seems. We often become frozen in our decision-making, feeling like the choice is out of our hands or part of some bigger plan that we aren't the director of.
"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." Buddha
Here are a few scenarios where many of us have likely felt stuck from making the decisions that could determine our destiny, and some suggestions on how to choose differently:
"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." Tony Robbins
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a new city, or even a new country? But when you think about actually moving, you make all kinds of excuses why you "can't" -- you're meant to stay in your hometown, other people move to new places not you, it's just not your destiny to live in New York/London/Paris -- whatever your dream city may be. But sometimes you need to be brave enough to go. Yes it can be scary, and yes it takes time to adjust, but a year into the move you will likely feel as at home there as you do here. So why not shift your destiny in that new direction if that's what you want?
"Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behaviour determines who stays in your life"
What about love? Many people have walked away from someone that might have been "the one" for various reasons. Maybe you met the girl or guy of your dreams but weren't able to commit and lost out. That's destiny slipping through your fingers. Fate can only do so much...it's up to you to act on it.
Other people might be stuck in a bad relationship where they're unhappy but feel it's "meant to be" that they stay together. I read this great quote that said "many people are in relationships that are over, but haven't ended." Staying stuck is a choice; we can always choose a different destiny.
If you don't have the love you want in your life, you need to take action to find it. Put yourself out there, be open to new possibilities and actively seek your own destiny!
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves." William Shakespeare
It can be hard to think of our destiny as being separate from our fate if we become accustomed to letting it lead our path. A lot of people look at life with a "que sera sera" (what will be, will be) attitude but if you think about it as something you have control over, you can make deliberate actions to create your desired destiny. This means being true to yourself and not being passive or only following other people's opinions. I truly believe remaining authentic is the best way to determine not just any destiny but the one that's meant for YOU. Fate presents us with the opportunities to create it, all we have to do is decide what destiny we want.
"Control your own destiny or someone else will." Jack Welch
When you think about it, isn't it better to believe we can control our destiny by making deliberate, conscious decisions than just being passive bystanders in our own lives? This goes back to creating a life for yourself that is in line with your authenticity. With the same attention we use to build our personal brand, we can shape our destiny. Ask yourself where you want your life to be in five years and work backwards. Understand what you value and what makes you tick. Decide what and who you want to keep in your life, and what has run its course. Don't sit back and let someone or something else guide you along; take the wheel and drive towards your own destination...your own destiny!
Have you ever experienced fate putting an opportunity in front of you, but you didn't seize it and it passed you by? That was destiny.
Xo Natasha
你為何冷漠?
The Psychology of Indifference - Gratia Plena Counseling gratiaplenacounseling.org
What causes the psychological condition of “indifference?” Indifference or apathy is a state in which we don’t care and/or don’t take action on something happening around us. People who are indifferent can be seen as cold, aloof, disinterested, unmotivated, and lacking in passion. There may be several reasons for indifference.
One cause may be that we are overstimulated, which is easy to happen in today’s culture. We receive information on our cell phones and from all of our friends instantly any time of day or night. We are bombarded with horrible news from around the world at the very moment it occurs. On TV we can watch crime shows all day long showing the terrible things that people do to each other. All of this information can be somewhat traumatic, and so we may shut down emotionally and mentally as a coping mechanism.
Indifference may occur when the problems of our life, our families, our communities, our country, and our world may seem so overwhelming that we feel quite powerless to do anything about them. This means that even when we notice what is going on around us, we may feel unable to make a difference. Instead of trying, we simply shrug our shoulders and move on.
There can be group and bystander effects causing indifference. When we see others being indifferent and apathetic, then we may be tempted to go along with the crowd. But the opposite may also be true. The worst time and place for our car to break down is on the side of a freeway during rush hour because hundreds of people will pass us by thinking to themselves “somebody else will stop and help” or they may think “I’m not going to stop because nobody else is stopping.” Whole parishes, schools, and communities can become apathetic or indifferent as a group. Apathy and indifference are contagious.
Certain drugs such as marijuana and narcotics may cause people to be indifferent. People can also be apathetic because of illnesses such as depression or other brain disorders. However, there may be a more insidious cause.
There is good evidence that people are gradually becoming more narcissistic. We find a growing sense of selfishness in the world. Our pride and unrestrained egos cause us to place ourselves first and everybody else a far second. The result of this self-indulgence is that we are indifferent to everything else that may be going on around us. We end up not caring about the suffering of others.
Indifference: A Social Disease
Written by Brenda Morales, a former WYA Latin America intern from Mexico.
If it doesn’t affect me, it’s not my problem: Indifference is a disease.
Recently, I had an accident in school, and it affected my health gravely. Consequently, a physician mandated me to wear a cervical collar and crutches to aid my recovery of said injury.
The hardest thing about my accident was not walking with the crutches or having to wear the cervical collar the whole day or even the pain in my back. The most painful thing about my accident was the indifference people had towards me. What do I mean with indifference? That people, not all of them, but plenty and mainly in my university would stare at me or look at me with pitiful looks on their faces about my current condition. This happened even more when I tried to walk or move from one place to another.
The way people looked at me was something that made me reflect on how dehumanized our society is right now. Our society is not very comprehensive nor helpful, and this is becoming a social disease that is spreading very fast. We live in a society that when your interests or needs are not affected, you don’t feel the need to aid someone whose interests and needs have been compromised in some way. This is also a great way of denying that the other person has dignity. By neglecting to accept the humanity of others and their worth, we now limit ourselves to recognize their social status, their influence, or their wealth. We become more and more materialistic instead of becoming more human.
Thomas Hobbes stated “a man is a wolf to man” in the Leviathan as he describes that the natural state of men is the desire and will to cause harm. What Hobbes argues is something that I could see reflected in so many political crisis: in those displaced and in refugees, all of them victims to governments and societies that couldn’t possibly be more indifferent to their needs and issues. Now, for many, the issues of those people can be fixed by liking or sharing the issues on social media, instead of actually doing something that can make an impact on the situation of all these people in a real way. This is when we, as a society, lose the sense of what it really means to respect the dignity and the value of being human.
Indifference is the complete opposite of social commitment. A person becomes indifferent to another because the feeling of responsibility and respect towards humanity doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. Indifference is something that hurts those who are already suffering pain, as it is a lack of recognition to their humanity, and therefore, dignity. People get reduced into objects, as the subject of the relationship decides deliberately to objectify them. The grave impact that this has on a societal level is something that continues to develop and we will continue to see.
There is hope on how to fix this as the World Youth Alliance has several programs that support the battle against this indifference. With programs that build character, like the Human Dignity Curriculum, WYA is trying to build a society of people that live respecting human dignity, and therefore, show solidarity to one another. WYA also goes ahead and explains several topics that could clearly show the importance of respecting said dignity. If you’re interested, you can apply to their Certified Training Program and learn more about it through the several readings that exemplify everything. We need to cure this disease of indifference and start considering the other as an equal to us, as we were all born equal in dignity, worth, love, and life.
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