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卡在人生道路中?
Steve Mueller
Are you feeling stuck in life? Many people do. Sometimes it feels as if we simply cannot move on with our life. As if there was something that kept us from pursuing our dreams. Consequently, we feel limited and simply do not know what to do. We have no idea how to break free from the limitations that are imposed upon us. What is worse, we do not even know what it is that imposes these limitations on us. It’s quite scary to be confronted with an invisible obstacle you cannot seem to tackle. Even though the situation may seem hopeless, there’s much you can do about it. In fact, there are a variety of highly efficient tactics and powerful tricks you can use to free yourself from being stuck in a rut.
There’s an interesting aspect to the feeling of being stuck. Many people who report that they’re feeling overwhelmed, confused or stuck in a rut are—in many cases—quite talented, intelligent and ambitious. In fact, various brilliant people found themselves stuck in life, ranging from Albert Einstein to Walt Disney. These prominent examples show us that people who are feeling stuck in life still have the potential to accomplish a great deal in life IF they are able to overcome what is holding them back.
If you do not know how to precisely tackle the issue, breaking free from feeling stuck in life can be really difficult. The harder you try to get out of it, the more you’re getting stuck. That’s the big problem with being stuck in a rut. It gradually weakens your strength to get unstuck. The situation is comparable to the attempt of breaking free from quicksand. The more you struggle, the deeper you’ll get in it. But if you do know that the only way out of quicksand is to stop panicking, to lie on your back and to drag your feet out, the obstacle can be overcome.
The same holds true for feeling stuck in life. If you’re thinking really hard about your situation, you’ll find yourself walking around in a circle. It will get you nowhere. But like a comic figure that keeps walking around in circles, you’ll only create an ever deeper (mental) groove. There’s no point in overthinking the problem. In fact, continuously pondering about the problem will only get you deeper into the groove.
It doesn’t matter so much what obstacle is blocking your progress. What matters is that you learn to move forward despite being confronted with challenges. You have all the power you need to take the necessary steps to break out of the rut. However, every fiber of your body must be willing to effect this change. Breaking free from whatever holding you back is always a choice. Take this choice and learn to gain more control over your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Here’s what you can do to free yourself from being stuck in a rut.
1. Face your fears
People are unable to move forward because they are afraid.
Whatever we fear limits us. In many cases, fear prohibits us from making any further progress in life. We’re afraid of the unknown, which is why we (unconsciously) sabotage our own development. We learn to accept the situation we find ourselves in. It simply seems more comfortable to remain where we are than to move on. Living a life without risks might seem a logical thing to do. But after a certain time, we become so used to our comfort zone that it’ll be difficult to ever break free from it. Slowly but surely, we begin to realize that this habit led us to become stuck in life.
At some point in life, we simply became afraid of going any further. We gave in to our fears. We allowed fear to stop our progress in life.
If we want to get unstuck, it’s important to change how we perceive our fears. We might not be able to stop being afraid of that which is to come, but we can learn to control our fears:
Acknowledge your fears, but do not allow them to limit you.
Seek to confront that which you are afraid of.
Running away from your fears will most likely make things worse.
Keep pushing forward in spite of your fears.
Don’t allow your fear of losing what you have to stop you from moving on.
Be not afraid of the work and time it takes to affect change.
Feel your fear and do it anyway.
Everyone on this planet, and I mean really everyone, has fears. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Instead, try to think about the worst possible outcome of that which is causing your anxiety. While you think about this outcome, try to realize that even if the worst-case scenario were to happen, you would still be able to find a way out.
There’s no need to be afraid of failure. Be concerned about not having the courage to try.
If you really want to initiate positive change in your life, let go of the feeling that you are helpless. Do not allow your perceived powerlessness discourage you from making a change in your life. Most likely, it’s just your fear trying to persuade you to do nothing about your situation.
2. Break your routine
Developing a routine can be quite beneficial. It helps you to keep moving when the going gets tough. The development of habits will aid you to do quite complex things with the greatest ease. As such, routines provide you a fundament and structure you can work with.
While it’s certainly true that routine is helpful, it can also limit your progress in life. It can develop into restrictive rules and obligations difficult to break. Yet, we willingly abide these rules, because they give us a sense of security and control.
Moving on in life, however, requires us to break the existing structures from time to time. Breaking the rules gives us the opportunity to explore something out of the ordinary. It helps us to discover something new, surprising and exciting.
Expand your horizon. Do something new every day.
Avoid time-wasting and mindless routines. They prohibit your progress.
Routinely break your routine. Make it a habit of exploring the unknown.
Break restricting routines whenever they need to be broken. Overcoming that what you’ve always done is really important. It will help you to break free from feeling stuck in life. Breaking out of the ordinary allows us to unstuck ourselves from everything that is keeping us behind. There is so much to be found outside your usual routine, you’ll only need the courage to explore it.
3. Effect change, one step at a time
If you’re feeling stuck in life, it’s important to overcome that which prevents you from moving forward. This might sound simple in theory, but it can become quite a struggle in real life. In fact, most people get overwhelmed by their attempts to break free from a rut. To them, it will seem as if they do everything they can, without ever accomplishing something.
For this reason, it’s not so important how much you do, but how you go about affecting change. Make sure to maintain your motivation by keeping a constant level of change. It’s better to tackle one problem after another than half-heartedly trying to address everything simultaneously. Not only will the sheer size of the problem overwhelm you, but it could also make you reluctant to truly free yourself.
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
Confucius
Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to stick to one problem until it is solved. One problem after another. This way you can affect positive changes in your life step-by-step.
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
Feeling stuck in life can leave us not knowing what to do. It paralyzes us and diminishes our ability to see exciting new opportunities. Instead, we feel as if the options at hand are impossible to execute. We are torn between seemingly impossible options.
If every solution you can think of seems impossible to accomplish, you’ll get even more stuck. It’s an overwhelming situation. On one hand, you want to do something to affect change. On the other hand, everything that comes to mind seems unrealistic or impossible. As a result, you’re being pulled apart by multiple options that do not seem helpful to you.
Even though your situation may seem hopeless at times, there’s always something you can do about it. True impossibilities are very rare. It’s more likely that you’re simply overwhelmed by having too many choices.
As you can see, our thinking patterns can greatly contribute to the feeling of being stuck. If we think every option we have is impossible, no progress can be made. It’s our inflexibility what keeps us stuck. We might overthink the situation in our desperate attempt to maintain control over our life.
Instead of getting trapped by these thinking patterns, try to explore your options. It’s very likely that you already know a lot of directions you could move in. If that’s the case, try to find the one solution that you like the most and commit to the decision.
5. Change your perspective
When we feel stuck in life, we most certainly do not have a good overview of the situation. Unfortunately, the feeling of being stuck in a rut can heavily affect our perception of life. Instead of seeing a great deal of the broader perspective, our mind is imprisoned in a tiny little box.
It’s time to broaden your perspective!
Often times, we get stuck in life because we do not allow ourselves to become who we want to be. Instead, we adapt to the role various people expect us to play. We do not like it, but deep down we are convinced that it’s impossible to realize these dreams.
Time to break these negative beliefs.
Stop walking the same path you’ve always chosen. Explore new perspectives by taking other paths. Ask yourself what your real goals are. Explore what you’re passionate about. Discover what it is that truly energizes you. Find your true purpose in life. Challenge yourself to have a vision for your life.
All these things can fuel your motivation in the most astonishing ways. Discovering your vision and the pursuit of your passions can create a powerful drive. It can help you to liberate yourself from the vicious circle of being stuck.
Steve Mueller
Are you feeling stuck in life? Many people do. Sometimes it feels as if we simply cannot move on with our life. As if there was something that kept us from pursuing our dreams. Consequently, we feel limited and simply do not know what to do. We have no idea how to break free from the limitations that are imposed upon us. What is worse, we do not even know what it is that imposes these limitations on us. It’s quite scary to be confronted with an invisible obstacle you cannot seem to tackle. Even though the situation may seem hopeless, there’s much you can do about it. In fact, there are a variety of highly efficient tactics and powerful tricks you can use to free yourself from being stuck in a rut.
There’s an interesting aspect to the feeling of being stuck. Many people who report that they’re feeling overwhelmed, confused or stuck in a rut are—in many cases—quite talented, intelligent and ambitious. In fact, various brilliant people found themselves stuck in life, ranging from Albert Einstein to Walt Disney. These prominent examples show us that people who are feeling stuck in life still have the potential to accomplish a great deal in life IF they are able to overcome what is holding them back.
If you do not know how to precisely tackle the issue, breaking free from feeling stuck in life can be really difficult. The harder you try to get out of it, the more you’re getting stuck. That’s the big problem with being stuck in a rut. It gradually weakens your strength to get unstuck. The situation is comparable to the attempt of breaking free from quicksand. The more you struggle, the deeper you’ll get in it. But if you do know that the only way out of quicksand is to stop panicking, to lie on your back and to drag your feet out, the obstacle can be overcome.
The same holds true for feeling stuck in life. If you’re thinking really hard about your situation, you’ll find yourself walking around in a circle. It will get you nowhere. But like a comic figure that keeps walking around in circles, you’ll only create an ever deeper (mental) groove. There’s no point in overthinking the problem. In fact, continuously pondering about the problem will only get you deeper into the groove.
It doesn’t matter so much what obstacle is blocking your progress. What matters is that you learn to move forward despite being confronted with challenges. You have all the power you need to take the necessary steps to break out of the rut. However, every fiber of your body must be willing to effect this change. Breaking free from whatever holding you back is always a choice. Take this choice and learn to gain more control over your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Here’s what you can do to free yourself from being stuck in a rut.
1. Face your fears
People are unable to move forward because they are afraid.
Whatever we fear limits us. In many cases, fear prohibits us from making any further progress in life. We’re afraid of the unknown, which is why we (unconsciously) sabotage our own development. We learn to accept the situation we find ourselves in. It simply seems more comfortable to remain where we are than to move on. Living a life without risks might seem a logical thing to do. But after a certain time, we become so used to our comfort zone that it’ll be difficult to ever break free from it. Slowly but surely, we begin to realize that this habit led us to become stuck in life.
At some point in life, we simply became afraid of going any further. We gave in to our fears. We allowed fear to stop our progress in life.
If we want to get unstuck, it’s important to change how we perceive our fears. We might not be able to stop being afraid of that which is to come, but we can learn to control our fears:
Acknowledge your fears, but do not allow them to limit you.
Seek to confront that which you are afraid of.
Running away from your fears will most likely make things worse.
Keep pushing forward in spite of your fears.
Don’t allow your fear of losing what you have to stop you from moving on.
Be not afraid of the work and time it takes to affect change.
Feel your fear and do it anyway.
Everyone on this planet, and I mean really everyone, has fears. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Instead, try to think about the worst possible outcome of that which is causing your anxiety. While you think about this outcome, try to realize that even if the worst-case scenario were to happen, you would still be able to find a way out.
There’s no need to be afraid of failure. Be concerned about not having the courage to try.
If you really want to initiate positive change in your life, let go of the feeling that you are helpless. Do not allow your perceived powerlessness discourage you from making a change in your life. Most likely, it’s just your fear trying to persuade you to do nothing about your situation.
2. Break your routine
Developing a routine can be quite beneficial. It helps you to keep moving when the going gets tough. The development of habits will aid you to do quite complex things with the greatest ease. As such, routines provide you a fundament and structure you can work with.
While it’s certainly true that routine is helpful, it can also limit your progress in life. It can develop into restrictive rules and obligations difficult to break. Yet, we willingly abide these rules, because they give us a sense of security and control.
Moving on in life, however, requires us to break the existing structures from time to time. Breaking the rules gives us the opportunity to explore something out of the ordinary. It helps us to discover something new, surprising and exciting.
Expand your horizon. Do something new every day.
Avoid time-wasting and mindless routines. They prohibit your progress.
Routinely break your routine. Make it a habit of exploring the unknown.
Break restricting routines whenever they need to be broken. Overcoming that what you’ve always done is really important. It will help you to break free from feeling stuck in life. Breaking out of the ordinary allows us to unstuck ourselves from everything that is keeping us behind. There is so much to be found outside your usual routine, you’ll only need the courage to explore it.
3. Effect change, one step at a time
If you’re feeling stuck in life, it’s important to overcome that which prevents you from moving forward. This might sound simple in theory, but it can become quite a struggle in real life. In fact, most people get overwhelmed by their attempts to break free from a rut. To them, it will seem as if they do everything they can, without ever accomplishing something.
For this reason, it’s not so important how much you do, but how you go about affecting change. Make sure to maintain your motivation by keeping a constant level of change. It’s better to tackle one problem after another than half-heartedly trying to address everything simultaneously. Not only will the sheer size of the problem overwhelm you, but it could also make you reluctant to truly free yourself.
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
Confucius
Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to stick to one problem until it is solved. One problem after another. This way you can affect positive changes in your life step-by-step.
4. Overcome the perception of impossibilities
Feeling stuck in life can leave us not knowing what to do. It paralyzes us and diminishes our ability to see exciting new opportunities. Instead, we feel as if the options at hand are impossible to execute. We are torn between seemingly impossible options.
If every solution you can think of seems impossible to accomplish, you’ll get even more stuck. It’s an overwhelming situation. On one hand, you want to do something to affect change. On the other hand, everything that comes to mind seems unrealistic or impossible. As a result, you’re being pulled apart by multiple options that do not seem helpful to you.
Even though your situation may seem hopeless at times, there’s always something you can do about it. True impossibilities are very rare. It’s more likely that you’re simply overwhelmed by having too many choices.
As you can see, our thinking patterns can greatly contribute to the feeling of being stuck. If we think every option we have is impossible, no progress can be made. It’s our inflexibility what keeps us stuck. We might overthink the situation in our desperate attempt to maintain control over our life.
Instead of getting trapped by these thinking patterns, try to explore your options. It’s very likely that you already know a lot of directions you could move in. If that’s the case, try to find the one solution that you like the most and commit to the decision.
5. Change your perspective
When we feel stuck in life, we most certainly do not have a good overview of the situation. Unfortunately, the feeling of being stuck in a rut can heavily affect our perception of life. Instead of seeing a great deal of the broader perspective, our mind is imprisoned in a tiny little box.
It’s time to broaden your perspective!
Often times, we get stuck in life because we do not allow ourselves to become who we want to be. Instead, we adapt to the role various people expect us to play. We do not like it, but deep down we are convinced that it’s impossible to realize these dreams.
Time to break these negative beliefs.
Stop walking the same path you’ve always chosen. Explore new perspectives by taking other paths. Ask yourself what your real goals are. Explore what you’re passionate about. Discover what it is that truly energizes you. Find your true purpose in life. Challenge yourself to have a vision for your life.
All these things can fuel your motivation in the most astonishing ways. Discovering your vision and the pursuit of your passions can create a powerful drive. It can help you to liberate yourself from the vicious circle of being stuck.
背後說壞話
How to Stop Talking About Friends Behind Their Backs
wikiHow
Is that juicy nugget of information about your buddy nagging at you, begging you to release it to the rest of your friends? Do you feel the urge to gossip about others behind their back in order to make yourself look like the joker in the group or to make yourself a little more interesting? It might seem like a temptingly good idea at the time, to dump your friend right in the middle of a funny tale or an embarrassing moment but your friend won't think so... In fact, your friend will be questioning your loyalty along with your lack of tact.
If you talk about your pals behind their back, think about how it is likely to make them feel. Before you pass along one more morsel of information, stop and think about what you're doing. Then make a pact with yourself to stop talking about friends behind their back for good.
1
Explore what you think lies behind your urge to talk about your friends or share a piece of juicy gossip about a pal. Perhaps you think that it's harmless fun and perhaps you even feel a little proprietary over the information because it is about your friend after all. Or perhaps you think that dropping your friend's secrets or most embarrassing moments into the middle of a conversation will be funny and spares you having to say anything of the sort about yourself. Or are you currently unhappy with your life and talking about other friend’s misfortune or misery feeds your soul? Whatever the motivation behind your loose tongue, you need to get to the root of why you find it's okay to talk behind the back of your friends, in order to know how to stop. Consider which of the following is most applicable to you:
Insecurity: People who are not comfortable in their own skin and who have insecurities will often pick apart others in order to feel better. And unfortunately, this can sometimes include those close to you, whose inner thoughts you know best of all, simply because you don't feel secure enough to find less personal topics of conversation with people who awe or overwhelm you.
Boredom: Feel as if your life is totally boring and without excitement? Dragging out other’s dirty laundry can get the conversation started and cook up some thrills. However, this displays a lack of creativity in your conversation skills, so salving your boredom with your friend's information is both lazy and disloyal.
Revenge: Some people may be angry with a friend and feel that the only way they will feel vindicated is to talk about them behind their back––whether they already hashed it out with the friend or not. Revenge as a motivation for doing anything is always a total fail when it comes to living a fulfilling life; it reveals a lack of self-respect, a lack of respect for others and a lack of self-restraint or personal responsibility for your actions. A friend never deserves having their dirty laundry aired as a panacea for your own annoyance or unhappiness with them.
Protection: You may feel wronged, and want to warn other people in your circle of the "dangers" of having this person in their life represents. Consider that we often feel like victims in friendship by minor things, like selfishness, that really represent little danger to anyone. If this is the case, let your friends make up their own minds.
Humor: During these sarcastic times when sitcom and reality TV stars hurl insults as if they were nothing, some folks think they are being funny by making snarky remarks about friends behind their back. Unfortunately for the air-headed TV "role models", funny doesn't even come into the equation and copying them is a sign of letting the brain go on vacation. Humor does not stoop to condescension, belittlement or gossip; if it does, it's not humor, it's muckraking.
Thoughtlessness: You've assumed that since your friend seems to have a thick skin, that it's okay to talk about them without consideration for their feelings. Your friend does have feelings; they're just not flaunting them. At least you've got the gumption to admit you've been thoughtless. Now it's time to turn things around.
2
Consider the kind of damage you're doing. If you were to stop and recall your words and think about what you said, what kind of damage are you doing to another person? Place yourself into your friend's place and think about how you would feel if the things you've been saying to others were said about you by your friend. Suddenly it's not such a nice feeling when looked at this way. Your friend may be hurt by gossip, rumor mongering or exaggerated negative embellishment about their lives in one or more of the following ways:
Personal reputation: Spreading gossip about another person, whether it’s true or not, can harm a person's reputation irreparably, especially since it's coming from a close source. Consider whether your gossiping ways are potentially destroying your friend’s reputation. If so, why do you believe you should bring down your friend like this? If you're gossiping because you seek revenge, this is no way to resolve your conflict. If it's because of thoughtlessness or a desire to look better at your friend's expense, it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start realizing that what you're doing is bringing about real harm.
Business reputation: Are you ruining your friend’s livelihood just for personal fodder or perhaps even out of jealousy? Consider what your words could be doing to your friend’s financial security and business prospects. Think about how your rumor mongering could impact not only your friend, but also his or her family and staff.
Family reputation: Even though you may be talking about your friend, your words could hurt his or her family, including your friend's children. Family members are innocent bystanders and should not be hurt or damaged by your words.
3
Get savvy in your communications. Know the difference between damaging gossip, venting to friends or simply conveying information about a friend. In some cases, you may be spreading great news about a friend without realizing that your friend might have preferred to keep it secret a while more (such as being pregnant or getting a job promotion). Or, you may be simply venting about a fight you had with one close friend, without thinking too hard about how this sounds to listeners outside of your inner circle. Knowing the difference between indiscriminately talking behind a friend’s back versus delivering information is important:
Venting/clearing the air. We all need to let off some steam and if you’ve had a fight with a friend, you may want to consult with another pal to help you through the issue. Talking with a trusted friend whom you know without a doubt won’t talk about your discussion with others should be fine in most cases. Talking it out may provide you with insight and help you arrive at conflict resolution with your other friend. Avoid saying nasty things or calling your other friends names. Moreover, venting continuously to numerous people moves into gossipy territory.
Gossip/talking behind a friend’s back. Taking information that has nothing to do with you (or in some cases information that does but is highly confidential) and freely discussing it with numerous people is considered to be gossip.
Passing along news. For example, when a close friend has a baby, telling a bunch of people is not considered to be gossip provided your friend gives you her or his blessing to tell the world. On the other hand, if she has had three miscarriages in a row and doesn't want anyone to know she's pregnant again until she knows this baby is safely coming to term, saying anything without her permission is talking behind her back.
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