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Let Go, Be Happy | Psychology Today
Copyright William Berry, 2011
The more control over life one believes he has the happier he is; however, the attempt to inappropriately control events brings unhappiness. The use of control is paradoxical: we believe taking control will bring us security and happiness, yet its overuse causes unhappiness, anxiety, and malaise. In the treatment of clients with addiction problems, depression, marital issues, anxiety, and anger issues a common thread is control.
Control and Marriage
There are many contributors to marital strife, and difficulty with actual or perceived loss of control is sometimes the problem. Marital arguments may stem from lack of consistency with each other's expectations. This relates to control, or the lack thereof. One partner wants something handled one way. The other disagrees, either outwardly, or by not altering her behavior. Arguments escalate or avoidance occurs. This is the result of wanting to have your way in the situation and not getting it.
Control and Anxiety
Anxiety provides another negative state caused by an inappropriate desire to control. People worry about the future, whether distant or near. An example: Worrying about your child being out with friends. This seems like a reasonable situation to worry about. After all, you do not know what your child may be doing, or you may be concerned with his decision-making skills (rightly so, teens often do make poor decisions). Behavioral psychology purports that every behavior or action has a reward. In the case of worrying, the reward is to foresee a problem and take action. Unfortunately worrying continues when no action is possible. Worry then becomes an attempt to control, or a wish to control, what is uncontrollable. Here's a worthy pursuit: When worry serves the purpose of aiding preparation. Worrying is ineffectual beyond a certain point.
Control and Dating
When two people meet, they wonder: What does she think of me? Will it work out? Is this someone I see myself with in the future? What about the obstacles, can I overcome them? Is this my soul mate? These questions are an attempt to know the unknowable and thereby control the outcome. Rather than relaxing and letting things unfold, which leaves one vulnerable, we try to figure things out. This is a futile attempt to know the future and gain control.
If the desire to control is a central issue in unhappiness, then accepting a lack of control is the solution. In addiction treatment, people entering recovery are told of the virtues of acceptance, "letting go" and to "live and let live." This helps the substance-dependent individual to practice letting go of the need to control, by allowing things to happen, and not fretting about the future.
成功人士的早晨習慣
Morning Habits of Highly Successful People That Make Them Extraordinary
Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya
Wake up really early
Surely you know that time is an invaluable asset. Highly successful people take it up a notch by waking up at 5:30 am, 4:30 am and even 4:00 am. Not only will they have more control in their early hours, they’ll also have more opportunities to do things that matter to them.
Start with waking up 15 minutes earlier than your usual time. Then, gradually adjust.
Burn your calories
We don’t mean just the intense exercise regimen – you can simply do yoga, like Christies CEO Steve Murphy does. Exercise will not just make you think clearer, be healthier and scientifically happier, it allows you to combat stress as well.
Make time for exercise. An hour-long routine seems too daunting, so try running, dancing or even walking around the neighborhood for at least ten minutes.
Do an “Hour of Power”
Motivation doesn’t last forever, so you need to replenish yours regularly. Highly successful people know this, so they dedicate ample time to increase their supply. You’re more likely to continue accomplishing a task once you’re emotionally invested in it, right?
Spend thirty minutes listening to inspirational anecdotes and empowering quotes.
Burn your calories
Jot down on your gratitude journal
Happiness is about wanting the things that you already have. By enumerating the blessings they’re grateful for, highly successful people become more open to optimism and inspiration and improve their outlook in life.
Everyday, write down at least one thing that you’re thankful for. Learn to count the small wins.
Plan and strategize
If you don’t take a few minutes of your time to map out the direction of your day, how will you know if you’re headed towards the right direction? Take at least 10 minutes of your day to visualize your life goals, review your tasks for the day and allot schedules for breaks. It’ll help your day be more manageable and less stressful.
Q:
What are the types of your morning rituals?
Do you think that wake up early can affect your mood and efficacy level through the day?
Are you a morning person, and what time you wake up?
How to get yourself energized and motivated for the morning of the day?
Do you sets an alarm clock? Why or who not?
What are the first thing you prioritizes in the morning?
Do you do morning exercise?
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