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Signs Your Friendship Hurts Your Self-Esteem
Lara Rutherford-Morrison bustle
Sometimes it’s easy to forget the simple truth that you do not have to stay friends with anyone with whom you don’t want to. I get that it can feel almost impossible to cut ties with friends, especially ones that you’ve grown up with or have known a very long time, but you can and you should if a friendship isn’t bringing anything remotely good into your life, and that goes double if your friend is making you feel bad about yourself. When you have a friend who is bad for your self esteem, it can be hard to let go of the friendship precisely because your friend has damaged your sense of self-worth, and you therefore don’t think you deserve better. But if you recognize these signs of a self-esteem-wrecking relationship in one of your friendships, it’s time to seriously consider getting the hell out of there:
You friend criticizes and belittles you.
We rely on good friends to deliver cold, hard truths when we need it (like “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you are not among the blessed few who can rock drop crotch pants” or “Lady, you have a PATTERN when it comes to the people you date, and the pattern is that you love douchebags.”). But there’s a difference between a friend who helps you see important truths that you may not be able to see yourself, and a friend who is simply mean. If you have a friend who constantly seems to pick at you — criticizing everything from the way you look and speak to the way you live your life — that person isn’t a friend.
You worry more about your friend’s approval than your own opinion.
When you feel really emotionally beaten down by someone, it’s easy to become dependent on that person for approval. It’s a twisted reaction, but one that makes sense; after all, if someone is constantly telling you that what you do is bad, then that person must be an authority on what’s good, right? (Wrong.)
If you find yourself thinking, “I wonder if [Insert name of judgmental friend here] would approve of this?” every time you have to make a decision, think about why you’re so concerned with what that person thinks. Is it because you actually believe that friend could be helpful, or because you’re so used to that person tearing you down that you’re afraid to give him or her a reason to criticize you?
Their “teasing” isn’t funny. It actually makes you feel like crap.
One of the best aspects of a good friendship is having someone who can tease you with love and help you not to take yourself too seriously. But, at some point in our lives, we’ve all experienced that line of teasing that slides right past “funny” and hits “mean” instead. If your not-very-good friend’s teasing consistently makes you feel uncomfortable and bad about yourself, ask him or her to stop. If you get a response like “Don’t be so sensitive” or “It’s just a joke” and the teasing continues, go find a friend who doesn’t go out of his or her way to make you feel awful.
You get a lot of backhanded compliments.
If you get a new haircut, and your friend responds by saying, “OMG, your hair looks so much better! It used to make your chin look so pointy!”, stop being friends with that person right now. Backhanded compliments are passive aggressive ways of simultaneously making people feel bad about themselves while also making them question whether or not they’re allowed to feel angry (They are). A real compliment will make you feel good, The End.
You feel better when he or she isn’t around.
If you feel better about yourself and your life when your friend isn’t around — If you feel a rush of relief when you’re done hanging out with that person — that’s a very strong sign that your friend needs to go.
Remember: Friendships are voluntary. If your friend makes you feel bad about yourself, if he or she makes you question your worth, or if you just don’t enjoy his or her company, it’s time to pull back from this toxic relationship and start investing in friendships that actually make you happy.
Disappearance of gay-themed airline ad causes... | Taiwan News
TAIPEI (Taiwan News) – Just days after Taiwan became the first country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage, a furor erupted in Hong Kong about an apparent ban on a gay-themed image in a massive new promotion campaign for the territory’s main airline.
Cathay Pacific launched a series of photos to emphasize its replacing the slogan “Life Well Travelled” with “Move Beyond.”
While the slogan was first criticized as incomplete, it was the photo of two men in suits strolling hand in hand along a beach with the tagline “Move Beyond Labels” which caused a ruckus.
Hong Kong’s subway system, the MTR, and the city’s airport, one of the main transit hubs in the world, reportedly banned the picture from their billboards. The apparent decision provoked widespread outrage, with critics pointing out statements by the companies in favor of diversity.
The backlash led to a campaign by gay rights group Big Love Alliance encouraging same-sex couples to take pictures of themselves, a move which was also followed by celebrities in the community.
Following the outcry, the MTR seemed to shift responsibility away to the agency handling its advertising, JCDecaux of France, the South China Morning Post reported.
The company mentioned clauses in its contract with the MTR which referred to potentially controversial or offensive subjects.
The airport operator said the picture with the male couple was not among those that had been submitted for billboards at the airport.
Cathay Pacific meanwhile, did not directly comment on the uproar, but emphasized the diversity of both its staff and its passengers and its own policies of inclusion. During a meeting about its rebranding campaign, the airline had reportedly told personnel that one of the key messages was “to fly with pride for our LGBT community allies,” the South China Morning Post reported.
Despite all the explanations facing the backlash, in the end, nobody was actually able to say if and when the ad would appear at MTR stations and at Hong Kong Airport.
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