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How to Find Your Life Purpose? Escape Your Bubble
Leo Babauta
It's simply this: learn to get outside your personal bubble.
Your personal bubble is the small world you live in (we all have one), where you are the center of the universe. You are concerned with your wellbeing, with not wanting to look bad, with succeeding in life, with your personal pleasure (good food, good music, good sex, etc.).
This is the bubble we all live in most of the time, and people who say they don't are trying to prove something.
When someone tells you you look fat, this only hurts because you're in your personal bubble. You take that statement (a colleague who says you look fat) and believe that it's about you, and feel the pain or embarrassment of how the statement affects you. It matters a lot, because in your bubble, what matters most is how everything affects you personally.
I'm the same way, and so is everyone else.
There are some other problems caused by this personal bubble:
In our bubble, we're concerned with our pleasure and comfort, and try not to be uncomfortable. This is why we don't exercise or why we don't only eat healthy food.
This fear of being uncomfortable is also why we get anxious at the thought of meeting strangers. It hampers our social lives and our love lives.
Because we don't want to look bad, we are afraid of failing. So we don't tackle tough things.
We procrastinate because of this fear of failing and fear of discomfort.
When someone does or says something, we relate that event with how it affect us, and this can cause anger or pain or irritation.
We expect people to try to give us what we want, and when they don't, we get frustrated or angry.
Actually, pretty much all our problems are caused by this bubble, including the difficulty in finding our life purpose. But more on that in a minute—I ask for your patience here, because this is important.
What Happens When We Get Out of the Bubble
If we can learn to get outside this personal bubble and see things from a less self-centered approach, we can discover some amazing things:
When someone says or does something, it's not really about us—it's about the pain or fear or confusion that they're feeling, or a desire they have. Not us.
When we have an urge for temporary pleasure (like TV, social media, junk food, or porn), we can see that this urge is a simple passing physical sensation, and not the center of the universe.
We can start to see that our personal desires are actually pretty trivial, and that there's more to life than trying to meet our pleasures and shy away from our discomfort. There's more than our little fears. Including the pain and suffering of other people and compassion for them. Compassion for all living beings. Wanting to make the world better.
We can tie our daily actions, like learning about how our minds and bodies and habits work, or getting healthy, or creating something, not only to our personal satisfaction and success (trivial things) but to how they help others, how they make the lives of others better, how they might lessen the suffering of others.
We become less self-centered and begin to have a wider view when we step out of our bubble. Everything changes, from letting go of fear and anger and procrastination, to changing our habits and finding work that matters.
How does this relate to finding our life purpose? Let's explore that.
The Wider View, and Our Life Purpose
Illustration for article titled How to Find Your Life Purpose? Escape Your Bubble
Once we get out of the bubble, and see things with a wider view, we can start a journey along a path like this:
We can start to see the needs of others, and feel for their suffering.
We then work to make their lives better, and lessen their suffering.
Even if we aren't good at that, we can learn skills that help us to be better at it. It's the intention that matters.
As we go about our daily work, we can tie our actions to this greater purpose. Learning to program or become healthy (for example) isn't just for our betterment, but for the betterment of others, if only in a small way. This gives us motivation on a moment-to-moment basis. When we lose motivation, we need to get back out of our bubble, shed our concern for our discomfort and fears, and tie ourselves to a bigger purpose.
In this path, it doesn't matter what specific actions you take or skills you learn to make people's lives better. What career you choose is not important in this regard—what matters is the bigger purpose. You can always change your career and learn new skills later, as you learn other ways to fulfill this purpose. You'll learn over time.
Difference Between Happiness and Satisfaction
Happiness’ vs ‘Satisfaction’
What makes a person happy? What makes him feel satisfied? Will he experience satisfaction even if he is not happy, or will he find happiness even if his wants and needs are not satisfied?
We all search for things that will make us happy, and we have wants that need to be satisfied. What is ‘happiness’ and what is ‘satisfaction’? Do they always go together, or is their fulfillment separate from each other?
‘Happiness’ is defined as both a state of mind and an emotion. Man can choose to be happy. It is relevant to note that even people who are poor can be happy despite the fact that not all their needs are met, even the most basic ones.
‘Satisfaction,’ on the other hand, is the state wherein your desires are met. You will find it in the possession and enjoyment of things that you desire. In effect, it, too, is a state of mind wherein you find contentment knowing that your demands and desires are made possible.
Meeting the desires of your heart and the demands of your needs will not necessarily make you happy despite the fact that you will never want for anything when you are satisfied.
Everything actually depends on your beliefs. If you see poverty as a blessing rather than a curse and be content with what you have, then your chances of being happy are greater than the person who sees material things as a necessity in life.
They will never feel happy unless all their desires are fulfilled which is next to impossible since man’s needs, wants, and desires will never stop at the fulfillment of each one.
To be happy, one has to find himself first and know who he is and what he wants to be. Then he will be able to discover the things that really matter to him and which would give him satisfaction.
Positive psychologists state that there are three kinds of happiness:
Pleasure, which is a positive sensory experience.
Engagement, which can involve one’s family, work, hobbies, and romance.
Meaning, which is the use of one’s strengths to serve a purpose in life.
These feelings are felt when endorphins are released as the result of exercise, religious involvement, and being with happy people. Recent studies suggest that religious people are happier than people who are not. Perhaps this is due to their involvement in religious activities which can give them a high degree of satisfaction because, as they help others, they become more worthy of the glory of God.
Summary:
1. Happiness is a state of mind while satisfaction is the absence of want.
2. Happiness is an emotion while satisfaction is not.
3. Although both happiness and satisfaction can go together, one can be happy even if his wants are not met while he can be satisfied without necessarily being happy.
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