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BBC By Claudia Hammond, presenter of Radio 4’s All in the Mind
55,000 people took part in the BBC’s Loneliness Experiment in collaboration with Wellcome Collection, making it the largest survey of its kind in the world. And now we can reveal the results!
Here are some of the key findings:
1. Young people are the group who feel loneliest
There’s often a stereotype that loneliness mainly strikes older, isolated people. And of course it can. But we found higher rates of self-reported loneliness among younger people.
40% of 16 to 24-year-olds who took part told us they often or very often feel lonely, compared with 27% of over 75s. We saw higher levels of loneliness in young people across cultures, countries, and genders.
This is higher than in other surveys, but because the survey was online we had a self-selecting sample and might have attracted more people who feel lonely.
Our survey shows that loneliness can affect people of all ages.
Who feels lonely?
Claudia Hammond reveals the results of the 2018 BBC Loneliness Experiment.
2. People who feel discriminated against are more likely to feel lonely
We found that if people are made to feel that they are different in a negative way, levels of loneliness are higher. Those who filled in the version of the survey for people who are blind or partially sighted reported slightly more loneliness, particularly if they felt discrimination was high.
3. A third of people often or very often feel lonely
While 33% of people who completed the survey told us they often or very often feel lonely, 42% said they rarely or never feel lonely.
The people who felt lonely most often also had the most intense and the longest lasting feelings of loneliness. This is a higher overall figure than in some surveys, so maybe we attracted more people who felt lonely.
4. Being alone is not the same as being lonely
More than four fifths of people told us they like spending time on their own. And only a third believe that loneliness is about being on your own. However, people who said they were always alone were more likely to say they felt lonely.
We also found that people who live alone are only slightly more likely to feel lonely more often. This suggests that living alone isn't as much of a problem as spending lots of time alone.
Why might young people feel so lonely with such intensity?
There are a number of possible reasons why 16 to 24-year-olds reported the highest levels of loneliness in the survey.
They have less experience of regulating their emotions, so everything is felt more intensely
This might be only the first or second time they’ve felt lonely in their lives and they haven’t had the chance to learn that loneliness often passes
16-24 is an age when identity is changing. Young people are working out how they relate to others and where they stand in society. That process is naturally isolating to some extent, so feeling lonely during this time may be quite normal
Looking back, older people said that young adulthood was the time when they felt loneliest, so perhaps it’s not modern life which is making some people feel lonely. Perhaps this was always the loneliest stage of life.
5. People feel ashamed about feeling lonely
More women reported feeling shame about feeling lonely than men. We also found that feelings of shame about loneliness go down with age and yet older people say they are more likely to conceal their loneliness than younger people. But the survey suggests people are in fact sympathetic to those who feel lonely.
6. People who feel lonely score higher on empathy
We asked people a series of questions on social empathy - how sorry they would feel for someone who had not been invited to a party or had just split up from their partner. We found that people who feel lonely seemed to have a greater understanding of what it might be like to experience these things.
7. People who feel lonely have on average lower levels of trust in others
They also had lower expectations of friendship, so perhaps they feel they have been let down in the past.
8. People who feel lonely have more online-only friends
People who report high levels of loneliness don’t use social media any more often than other people, but they use it differently. They have more Facebook friends who they are only friends with online and who don’t overlap with their real-life friends.
9. People who say they often feel lonely report poorer health
Because our survey was a snapshot in time we can’t say that loneliness led to poorer health. Perhaps it’s the other way round and poor health is preventing people from going out socialising. But we did find that people who often feel lonely were slightly more likely to smoke, although the number of smokers in the survey was low.
The research was conducted by Prof Pamela Qualter from the University of Manchester, Prof Christina Victor from Brunel University London and Prof Manuela Barreto from the University of Exeter.
What are the solutions to loneliness?
41% of people in our survey said loneliness can sometimes be a positive experience but for many people it’s a feeling they’d like to experience a lot less. So we asked you which solutions have worked for you or others you know in alleviating loneliness and also which are the least helpful suggestions made by other people.
People identified dating as the least helpful solution suggested by others. The most popular solution was finding distracting activities or dedicating time to work, study or hobbies. Read about other possible loneliness solutions in our article, Nine ways to feel less lonely, or listen to our podcast mini-series, How You Can Feel Less Lonely?
Q:
Why some people feeling lonely?
Reasons you feel lonely even when you're not alone?
Ways for stop feeling lonely?
Little Things Matter littlethingsmatter
William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said, “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.” If we are honest with ourselves, we all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we have made a difference in someone’s life.
If a person takes the time to express their heart-felt appreciation for something we have done, it boosts our spirit, passion, and purpose. It builds our self-confidence, self-esteem and our entire self-image. It gives us energy and motivation to work harder and do more.
Six benefits you can derive by showing your appreciation
1. When you give people a sincere compliment, words of encouragement or just a warm smile, you are making their world a better place. You are making them feel appreciated and valuable.
2. When you express your approval or gratitude for something they have done, you will not only enhance their lives, but you will enrich yours as well. You will feel more fulfilled because you have done something to make someone else’s life better.
3. One of the laws of the universe states that what you give you get in return. It costs little or nothing and it almost always follows suit that they will demonstrate their gratitude for what you do.
4. When you show an interest in others by noticing the good things they’ve done, they will be drawn to you like a magnet. It will accelerate the relationship building process and enhance their overall impression of you.
5. It will increase your value to the market. When you show your appreciation to others, their respect for you will grow and so will your influence as a leader. In today’s world people have choices. They absolutely prefer to work with people they like and trust and who show an interest in them.
6. It’s a free form of currency. People will do more for recognition than they will for money. If you are in a leadership position, remember that people will work harder and do more if they know they will be recognized for their accomplishments. Show them you care and they will be loyal to you, even if better opportunities come their way.
Six Tips to Show Appreciation
1. Be genuine about your praise and don’t expect anything in return for being nice.
2. Be very specific with your words and use the person’s name whenever possible. This makes it more meaningful. For example, “Bill, thanks for making us feel so welcome when we arrived at the hotel. It was the perfect start to our vacation.”
3. Demonstrating eye contact and positive body language goes hand in hand with the words you choose.
4. Think of special ways to show your gratitude. For example, buy flowers or do something special for your spouse that you know he or she would love. You don’t have to spend a lot of money for the thank-you to have value.
5. Send a hand written thank you card or note of appreciation. Most people don’t take the time to do this simple act.
6. If the praise or appreciation relates to a specific act or circumstance, give it as soon after the event as possible to have the most impact.
My challenge to you
I want to challenge you to make your expression of appreciation stand out from the crowd. Make sure it is genuine and something that will make an impression. It will require more effort on your part but it will be worth it.
While going the extra mile is admirable, don’t forget the simple little things we can do on a daily basis to let people know they are appreciated. For every handwritten thank you note I write, I probably send 30 emails thanking people for the little things they’ve done for me. For every gift I buy for my wife, I probably tell her 50 times how much I appreciate all she does for me.
Make a list of those people who regularly do things for you, including your co-workers, friends, family members and those who work under your leadership. When this list is complete, go back over each name and determine how you can express your appreciation for the things they do for you in a way that makes them feel noticed and valued.
Let me also encourage you to thank 100% of the people for 100% of the things they do to make your life better, even if it’s part of their job description. Whether it’s the hostess who seats you in a restaurant, a grocery clerk who scans and bags your groceries, a hotel bellman or a co-worker, everyone deserves to be thanked. Begin to adopt an attitude of gratitude!
“Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition.” -Author Robert Cavett
Q:
What are the benefits of showing appreciation
Why should we be appreciative?
What is the good deed that you have done recently?
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