周六 (5/24)文章 請多出席支持 歡迎加入討論
How to Deal With Toxic People
We’ve all met them: they are the people who drain you of energy instead of enriching you, the people who pull you down instead of pushing you up, the people who require more then they can provide; the negative, wining, needy, manipulative people who can turn a happy day into a living hell.
I call them toxic people. One thing I notice is that no matter how good our people skills are in general, most of us have problems with dealing effectively with this kind of people. Even those with really sharp people skills often get caught up in the polluting relationships (personal or professional) toxic people create.
The good news is that there are effective ways to deal with toxic people. Working as a communication coach, I came to realize there are certain patterns of behavior and communication which work really well with this kind of persons. Here are the most significant of them:
1. Avoid toxic people
I believe the best way to deal with toxic people is to not deal with them at all; to avoid them. In some cases it may not be an option, but more often than not, it is. This is why I encourage you to really think about the options you truly have with every toxic person in your life.
It is common to think you have to deal with someone, when you actually do not. It is also common to believe you can get a toxic person to change while interacting with them. My experience is that unless you are a professional, you will not get them to change and trying it simply is not worth it.
2. Anticipate toxic people
It is harder than usual to get out of relationships with a toxic person. Toxic people tend to have this ability to make you feel bad for avoiding them and to attach to you like a leech. This is why it’s important to be able to spot them quickly, and start avoiding them before the relationship truly develops.
The best way I know to do this is to come up with a list of clues which you believe might indicate a toxic person. Then, every time you meet a person and a significant number of these clues are there, distance yourself from that person.
3. Set firm boundaries
Toxic people will often use you, one way or another. The may complain to you all the time while you listen hopelessly (?), or they may constantly get you to get them out of trouble. This is where boundaries come in. Boundaries are reflections of what you are and are not willing to do.
Setting firm boundaries means not allowing toxic people to use you in any of these ways. It means refusing to listen to them complain, refusing to get them out of trouble. When you have firm boundaries, there is basically nothing bad any person can do to you.
4. Get over your guilt
Most toxic people are very skilled at making others feel guilty when they don’t do what they want. This makes it particularly hard to set and maintain firm boundaries with them. But, there is a way out of this dilemma: getting rid of your guilt. It is your own guilt which toxic people use to break down your boundaries.
When you can set and maintain boundaries with them without feeling guilty, the weapon they have against you is gone. Realize that your guilt is irrational, pointless, and it is used against you by toxic people. This is the best way to get over it.
5. Do not defend yourself
When you avoid toxic people and you set boundaries with them, they frequently resort to accusing you, complaining and playing the victim in an attempt to get you to change your behavior.
One of the worst things you can do when this happens is to defend yourself. It is usually a futile action and it only keeps an immature dialog going which eventually helps the toxic person get what they want. You won’t get anywhere with them by defending yourself and your actions.
Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere. And they tend to attach themselves to those persons who are kind and have the most to offer. When you have the people skills to deal effectively with toxic people, you have the option to respond to their attaching in the best ways for you.
As for helping toxic people change their ways, I encourage you to leave/pass this task to the professionals in this area . (peopleskillsdecoded)
Q:
How to deal with toxic people?
How to get rid of bad friends?
How to get along with anyone?
How to decide if your friend is a true
friend?
How to get along with difficult coworkers?
How to politely turn down an invitation?
4
dead, 21 injured in stabbing on Taipei metro
TAIPEI (Taiwan News) – Four people were
reported dead and at least 21 injured Wednesday after a man attacked passengers
with a knife on a Taipei Mass Rapid Transit train entering Jiangzicui Station
in Panchiao, New Taipei City, reports said.
The attacker was subdued and taken to a
prosecutors’ office for interrogation. He was later identified as Cheng Chieh,
21, a second-year environmental engineering student at Tunghai University in
Taichung. He reportedly planned to commit the attacks after graduation, but did
it on Wednesday because he had no classes that day, reports said.
The people who died were a 52-year-old
woman named as Fan Pi-chu whose birthday was Thursday. The two men who died
were Hsieh Ching-yun, 28, and Chang Cheng-han, 26, reports said. A 62-year-old
woman, Lee Tsui-yun, was reported dead later in the evening in hospital.
The number of injured in the attack ranged
from 21 to 28 depending on various media reports, with several still being
treated for serious injuries to the chest and back. Hospitals sent 15
ambulances to the scene to evacuate the injured.
Q: What do you think about this tragic event?
Almost 5,000 couples around Taiwan tied the knot Tuesday
A couple takes a selfie when registering their marriage at the Xinyi District Household Registration Office in Taipei, May 20. (Photo/CNA)Q: What do you think about this tragic event?
Almost 5,000 couples around Taiwan tied the knot Tuesday
Almost 5,000 couples around Taiwan tied the knot Tuesday, hoping to reap the benefits of getting hitched on such an auspicious day — May 20 sounds roughly like "I love you" in Chinese — official data shows.
According to tallies compiled by the Interior Ministry, as of 5pm, 4,810 marriages had been recorded, with the highest number of 951 in New Taipei.
Ministry officials said the actual figure could be higher, taking into account the fact that data from some household registration offices that remain open after most others close in the evening would not have been reported, noting that 5,030 couples walked down the aisle on the same day last year.
Q: What do you think about Almost 5,000 couples around Taiwan tied the knot?
A magnitude-5.9 earthquake
Taipei, May 21 (CNA) A magnitude-5.9
earthquake centered in eastern Taiwan rattled the entire island Wednesday
morning, with shaking felt in residences and offices as far away as the capital
Taipei in the north. Three elementary schoolchildren in the southern city of
Tainan sustained minor injuries after being struck by light steel frames that
fell from the ceiling in a school auditorium, including one who received a
small laceration to the head but has been released from the hospital after
receiving stitches. No other injuries have yet been reported.
Q: How to prevent from geetting hurt in earthquakes?口語訓練 講義現場分發
0 意見:
張貼留言