週四(12/14) 1.為什麼人們不喜歡你2.瞎拚者的後悔

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「why People Really Don't Like You」的圖片搜尋結果
為什麼人們不喜歡你
Reasons People Really Don't Like You (and How to Fix That)
inc.com  by Jeff Haden

1. You control.

Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

2. You blame.

People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.

So you blame them for your problems.

But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic; it's empowering, because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

3. You try to impress.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things, but that doesn't mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll form genuine relationships only when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

4. You criticize.

Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind--but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else, including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
Q:
Reasons people don't like you? (and how to fix that)
How to create better personal relationships?
How to criticize constructively?
Are you a "control freak?"
How to fix your mistakes?
How to be yourself?
How to appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings from other people?
「Do you feel guilt after spend lots of money」的圖片搜尋結果
瞎拚者的後悔
What is Buyer's Remorse?

    Written By: Brendan McGuigan
   
Buyer's remorse is the term given to the feeling a person often gets after making a large purchase. Although excited at the time of the purchase, once they've spent a lot of money, many people feel a deep regret and concern that they made the wrong decision.

Buyer's remorse takes many different forms, most of them typified by a high level of anxiety, usually about having made the wrong decision. Sometimes it strikes when a person makes a purchase they may not have actually had the money or credit for, and after buying it they begin to realize that they were living well outside of their means, and worry begins to grow over the consequences. This is especially true of purchases such as buying a new home, which is one of the most common triggers for buyer's remorse, due in no small part to the huge amounts of money usually involved.

This feeling may also focus on the worry that a purchase was made at the wrong time, and that by waiting a better deal could be had. This is especially common in the technology sector, and in automobiles, where new generations of products are released regularly. A person might make a purchase and then immediately begin wishing they had waited for the next generation to come out, as their product will soon be outdated. This type of buyer's remorse is largely unfounded, since the same case can be made at any point in time, as new generations are constantly being rolled out. It is especially prevalent when a new generation of a product is immediately released, however, leading the buyer to wish they had waited a week or two before committing to a purchase.

Buyer's remorse may also express itself as extreme guilt over the buying act itself. Especially with people who may have a problem with over-consumption, after making a purchase they may begin to feel regret for having once again succumbed to an addiction. This may also manifest as a concern for how others will view their purchases, especially if they may easily be viewed as frivolous or in bad judgment.

Psychologically, buyer's remorse makes perfect sense. A consumer switches from one state to another when making a purchase, where the state before they've made the purchase has enormous positive influence, and the purchase afterward loses a great deal of that. Before making a purchase, a buyer is faced with a great deal of choices, giving them a sense of agency and power in the world. They have money or credit to spend, and get to exert their dominance over the marketplace by placing their purchasing power.

After the purchase, however, all options have vanished. Buyer's remorse may set in as they see themselves locked into a single decision, which may or may not have been the best, and seek their purchasing power reduced. No longer acting from a position of control, many people react by seeking to distance themselves from the purchasing act, to reaffirm their sense of having had a wide field of choices. Buyer's remorse is, in this way, seen as a very simple state of cognitive dissonance, where the desire to retain complete control and infinite possibilities clashes with the reality of actually exerting that control by limiting those possibilities.
Q:
Why shoppers suffer 'post shopping regret'?
What motivates impulse buying?
Do you ever feel guilty spending money?
Should you feel guilty about spending money?
How to stop feeling regret over the things you spend?
What to do when made the wrong decision?

                                                                 

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