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How to Deal With People Talking About You Behind Your Back wikihow
It feels pretty awful to have people talk about you behind your back. Since this kind of gossip may be subtle, it’s often hard to pinpoint the source. For this reason, you’ll probably make matters worse by trying to confront the people gossiping. The best course of action is to ignore them. You might also engage in positive activities to cope and try to change your perspective on gossiping.
Do nothing. Though you may be tempted to act out or confront the person, sometimes the best response is to ignore gossip. Just think: the person didn’t give you the consideration of saying what they said to your face. So, you shouldn’t give them the consideration of taking it any further. Stop the negativity train by completely ignoring it.
Treat them with kindness. Another great response to gossipers is a pleasant attitude. They will be bewildered as to how you could treat them so kindly when they have spoken negatively about you. Plus, if you reinforce your upbeat attitude, you may make the person feel guilty for talking about you in the first place.
Verify the motives of the messenger. If a dear friend or acquaintance was the one who told you about the gossip, you may want to make sure this person has your best interests in mind. Most good friends would rather not spread any negative information about you that may hurt your feelings. If this person is involved in the rumors, try to find out why they felt the need to come and tell you, and how they reacted to the rumors.
You might ask questions like, "How did you know this was going around?" or "What did you say when they were spreading that rumor?" You may even simply ask, "Why are you telling me this?" to better understand their motives.
You don’t necessarily have to end your relationship with the messenger. But, it may be wise to watch this person more closely. They may not be as innocent as they try to appear to be. They could be fueling the gossip rather than trying to stop it.
Don’t take it personally. You can deal with people talking about you behind your back by remembering that their words are a reflection of them, not you. You can’t choose what others say about you, but you can choose how you react to it. Write off gossiping as something the other person needed to do for them. Refuse to be a
Realize they may be jealous. It may not feel like it when people are talking negatively about you, but this often happens because there’s something about you that intimidates them. The person may be envious of your looks, abilities, or popularity. Their nasty words may simply be a way to hurt you.
修補情感
How to Mend a Broken Relationship
Hurt is inevitable in significant relationships. Yet pain and strife does not have to mean a relationship is going to end. Many couples find that working though trouble actually makes their relationship even stronger. What they realize is that all relationship require work, love, and patience to succeed, and this is especially true when trying to mend a broken relationship
Determine why the relationship is in trouble. All relationships go through rough patches at one point or another. As the novelty of your first few months together wears off, problems and stress start to pile up and things you once found cute begin to annoy you to no end. While there are always small issues in a relationship, some issues can cause problems when they linger under the surface for too long:
You don’t believe you opinion is respected.
You feel like your partner doesn’t care about your needs.
You feel your partner is not helping with chores, bills, kids, etc.
You don't communicate well and/or argue frequently.
Talk with your partner about what is bothering you. Many times, relationships end or hit rough spots when there is not adequate communication going on between the two parties. While difficult, you have to be willing to share your problems and issues with your partner to have any hope of fixing them.
Make time to be honest with your partner. Your concerns have to come out in the open or they will never be fixed.
It can help to write down your problems ahead of time, or discuss them with a close friend so you feel comfortable expressing yourself with your partner later.
Forgive each other. This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial. Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made. Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.
Forgiveness takes time, so don’t be afraid if you are still angry 1-2 days after an argument. Keep working on forgiving your partner and you’ll be surprised how quickly you let go of negative emotions.
Talking to your partner and seeing their mistake through their eyes can help you understand the issue and offer forgiveness more readily.
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