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愛情恆久遠?
Can
romantic love last forever? by Samantha Smithstein,
Psy.D.
The good news for couples is this: romance
can last a lifetime. Recently, researchers Acevedo and Aron studied short- and
long-term relationships and found that romantic love, which they defined as
love with intensity, engagement, and sexual interest, can exist in long-term
relationships. Commonly, people believe that inevitably (with time) romance
dies out and relationships slowly turn into a companionship/friendship-type
love.
It turns out it isn't inevitable for
romance to die and that those who are able to keep it going are more satisfied
in their relationships. Not only that, but couples who reported more
satisfaction in their relationships also reported being happier and having
higher self-esteem.
It is important to note here that the
authors differentiated between romantic love and what they termed
"passionate love." Passionate
love drives shorter relationships, and it's the kind of love that we associate
with movies, novels, and fantasy. Romantic love has intensity, engagement, and
sexual chemistry. Passionate love (otherwise known as "obsessive
love") has all of that too, but it also includes feelings of uncertainty
and anxiety. This makes the partners feel more obsessed with each other and
creates excitement but also imbalance and feelings of insecurity. This kind of
love cannot be sustained over the long-term without creating dissatisfaction
and conflict.
The authors' findings are useful in helping
us to shape our goals and expectations regarding long-term relationships. Their
research confirms the idea that couples should strive for a deeply-fulfilling
romantic love, and know that it is an attainable goal. Likewise, couples who
have settled into a companionship love need not compromise, and instead can
work to revive the romance between them. Either way, however, it is important
to note that the authors do not ascribe to the fantasy notion that romantic
love "just happens" and/or "just dies" arbitrarily. Lead researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, Ph.D.,
states that couples should know that romantic love is an attainable goal, but
that it, "like most good things in life, requires energy and
devotion."
This notion is also unfamiliar to most
couples: romantic love takes work to create and sustain. There is an almost
child-like fantasy that most people have in our culture that love should be
easy and effortless. While it is true that most couples have these types of
experiences of love that is easy and effortless, it is also true that there are
times when it is not easy, and takes effort. There are times when it is work to
learn to love someone the way they want to be loved and not the way you think
they should be loved. That intensity, engagement, and sexual excitement often
take forethought, attention, and creating the time and space for it to happen.
That it takes intention to act in loving, affectionate ways and to listen
carefully to the needs, wants, desires, thoughts, and feelings of the person
you
love. It's work. But put the work of it
into your relationship and you may be surprised how much you end up getting out
of it... and the payoff can last a lifetime.
Questions:
Can romantic love last forever?
What to do when "passionate love”
gone?
What are the reason that love dies between
lovers?
Love or bread which is more important?
How to maintain a good relationship?
“I do? I will take care of you forever” do
you really believe love vows?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
What couples fight about the most?
How to find the ideal mate?
假和尚真騙徒
Fake monks BBC
Temples in China will be given certificates to show they're legitimate, in an attempt to stop worshippers from being scammed, it's reported.
Religious authorities are handing out the documents to real Buddhist and Taoist temples to differentiate them from fake ones, the official Xinhua news agency reports. The move aims to prevent con-artists posing as monks from ripping off visitors at sacred sites, officials say. "There have been some non-religious sites employing fake monks who tricked tourists into donating money or buying expensive incenses," Liu Wei, from the State Administration of Religious Affairs, tells the agency. Religious sites are encouraged to hang the official documents outside so visitors can see them. Two temples in Beijing have already been granted a certificate, but the system is due to be rolled out nationwide.
Con Artists wisegeek
A con artist, also known as a crook, swindler, or scammer, is a person who tricks someone out of money or goods. He establishes trust with the victim and uses the ability to read people and a good sense of timing to carry the schemes through. Many have specific modes of operation, although they operate across a wide array of scam types and tend to be hard to pick out of a crowd. These criminals often come into their work because of financial hardship, seeing others model the behavior, or because of various psychological needs.
Con Types and Categories
Swindlers generally choose from two major types of cons: indirect and direct. In the first type, the con artist contacts and interacts with victims from a distance. Scams in the direct group are much rarer, as they require the criminal to give away his anonymity and make face-to-face contact with the person he’s targeting, which is riskier to do.
Once a scammer decides which type of con he is more comfortable with, he gets more specific and selects a category. In indirect crimes, common categories include Internet and telephone scams, although some individuals work via regular mail. Texting scams are increasingly popular and often target teens. Examples of direct categories include selling poor quality items at auctions or other events and posing as a representative for a charity.
Questions:
What do you think about con-artists posing as monks? And talking cases of
What do you think about monks and beggars in Taiwan?
Have you ever donated money to monks and beggars?
Have you ever being scammed?
How to avoid phone scams? How scammers scam people?
What are the type of phone fraud?
How to avoid getting scammed on online?
Why people being scammed?
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