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與他人比較
與他人比較
Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
If you are like me, you probably catch yourself frequently falling into the ever-alluring yet emotionally-dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others. According to social comparison theory, we do this in an attempt to make accurate evaluations of ourselves. But at what cost? While comparison can be a valuable source of motivation and growth, it can also spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of self-doubt.
Here are three reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others.
1) It's Damaging To Your Sense Of Self
Mark Twain said that "comparison is the death of joy," and the science agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low-self confidence, and depression, as well as compromises our ability to trust others. While downward comparison, comparing ourselves to those less fortunate, can provide some benefit to one's sense of self, even this form of comparison comes at a price. It requires that we take pleasure in someone else's failures or misfortunes in order to feel adequate, which can fuel mean-spirited competitiveness versus collaboration; jealousy versus connection. When comparing leads you to devalue yourself or others you've entered dangerous territory.
2) What You Are Comparing Against Is Inaccurate Information
Let's face it: What people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. When someone asks you how you are doing, how often do you respond by saying, "my husband is driving me crazy, I'm feeling like a failure at work, and I'm just about ready to lose my mind"? Instead, you probably bite your tongue and say "things are really great!" A recent study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin confirmed that people are less likely to reveal their negative emotions than their positive emotions. Additionally, the study found that people tend to overestimate the presence of positivity in the lives of others, while they misinterpret or fail to detect negative feelings in others. So not only is what's being delivered an incomplete picture, we tend to distort the information we do receive -- a double whammy. So next time you find yourself comparing to someone else stop and ask yourself if it is really fair to compare when you don't have all of the information. As Steve Furtick explains, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."
3) It Doesn't Actually Help You Accomplish Your Goals
Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is both time-consuming and ineffective. Being hard on ourselves actually zaps motivation and decreases goal completion. If you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. To get your focus in the right place ask yourself the following questions: When you imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at what you've done, what will be the experiences and accomplishments that will have been most important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of relationships do you want to have? What do you want people to remember about you? Use these personal values as the barometer upon which you compare, rather than the accomplishments of those around you.
Q:
Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself to Others?
Do you Comparing Yourself to Others?
How to survive in a competitive society?
What Skills Are Needed to Survive in Today's World?
What are the Tips for Dealing with Backstabbing Coworkers?
What are the Practical Ways to Improve Yourself?
“High performance, high pressure in South Korea's society” How about Taiwan?
過世的人去哪兒?
Where Do We Go When We Die? A Look At The Soul’s Journey After Death
By Steven Bancarz
Science and spirituality have split the public`s opinions on the matter of reincarnation and life after death. Science proponents believe biological death to be the absolute end of our experience, whereas spiritualists believe that our bodies are physical vessels for an eternal energetic aspect of our consciousness called the soul, which implants itself into a new body after the previous body has died.
Many popular religions, such as Christianity, typically refute the idea of reincarnation because it contradicts the belief systems which state that there is a place where sinners go after death called “Hell” and a place where the devoted go called “Heaven”, but there has been a growing body of evidence that suggests that our souls incarnate more than one time.
Dr. Pim van Lommel, a cardiologist in the Netherlands, conducted the largest hospital-based study of NDEs (Near Death Experiences), years after hearing a patient report seeing a tunnel, a light, and beautiful colors and hearing wonderful music during a clinical death in 1969. Dr. Lommel was inspired to research the matter further after hearing a detailed near death experience of someone who had been clinically dead for six minutes.
“After reading [this] book I started to interview my patients who had survived a cardiac arrest. To my great surprise, within two years about fifty patients told me about their NDE…. So, in 1988 we started a prospective study of 344 consecutive survivors of cardiac arrest in ten Dutch hospitals…. 62 patients (18%) reported some recollection of the time of clinical death…. About 50% of the patients with an NDE reported awareness of being dead, or had positive emotions, 30% reported moving through a tunnel, had an observation of a celestial landscape, or had a meeting with deceased relatives. About 25% of the patients with an NDE had an out-of-body experience, had communication with ‘the light’ or observed colours, 13% experienced a life review, and 8% experienced a border…. Patients with a NDE did not show any fear of death, they strongly believed in an afterlife, and their insight in what is important in life had changed: love and compassion for oneself, for others, and for nature. They now understood the cosmic law that everything one does to others will ultimately be returned to oneself: hatred and violence as well as love and compassion. Remarkably, there was often evidence of increased intuitive feelings.” (David Wilcock’s ‘The Synchronicity Key: The Hidden Intelligence Guiding the Universe and You’)
Evidence of life after death continued to rise with the ground-breaking addition of work from hypnotherapists such as Dolores Cannon, Dr. Ian Stevenson and Dr. Michael Newton. With over 50 years of client-session information documenting people’s subconscious memories of past lives and even memories of the time in between two lives, something has to be said about evidence from the doctor’s research supporting reincarnation. Dr. Newton explains that people under hypnosis are not dreaming or hallucinating— and in this state they are not capable of lying. They report whatever they see and hear in their subconscious minds as if everything is a literal observation. While under hypnosis, it is possible for them to misinterpret something they are seeing, but they will not report on anything they do not feel to be the literal truth.
Q:
Where do we go when we die?
Do you think that Haven/Hell exist?
Do you think that ghosts /god exist?
Would you willing donate organs after pass away?
Do you believe we have previous life /next life?
Do you believe in reincarnation?
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