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錢買快樂嗎能?
Can money buy happiness? | Thinking about money
Rin Hamburgh theguardian.com
One survey of 1,000 Americans, conducted in 2010, concluded that money does make us happier – but only up to a certain point. The findings, by psychologist Daniel Kahneman and economist Angus Deaton, both from Princeton University, showed that self-reported levels of wellbeing increased with salary up to $75,000 (roughly £50,000) a year. But after that, increasing amounts of money had no further effect on happiness.
Anecdotal evidence is just as conflicted. In 2015, analysis of data from the Office for National Statistics’ Wealth and Assets Survey showed that for Britons aged 16 and over there is a clear link between household wealth and happiness, life satisfaction and personal sense of worth. Yet when Markus Persson, creator of Minecraft, sold his gaming company to Microsoft for £2.5bn in 2014, it didn’t give him the huge happiness boost you might expect, as his tweet from August 2015 showed: “Hanging out in Ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I’ve never felt more isolated.”
Similarly, billionaire John Caudwell, founder of Phones4U, admitted on the BBC programme Britain’s Spending Secrets that there are times when he would put his happiness level at just one or two out of 10.
Some would argue that the effect of money, whatever it is, can only ever be minimal because individual happiness is based on completely different criteria. According to psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, about 50% is down to our baseline happiness level, which is something we’re born with. In other words, some people are just naturally happier than others. By contrast, life circumstances – which would include income levels – account for just 10% of our total reported happiness.
The final 40% is about “intentional activities”, or things we can do to make ourselves happier. Money does play a part in this – but not in the way you might expect.
For example, being generous makes us happy. Michael Norton, of Harvard Business School, talks about “pro-social spending” – in other words, spending money on others – and how it is linked to wellbeing. In a 2008 study with fellow researchers Elizabeth Dunn and Lara Aknin, he gave 46 participants either $5 or $20 and told some to spend it on themselves and others to give it away. He also recorded their self-reported happiness levels before and after the task. Those who had given their windfall away showed a greater increase in wellbeing than those who had spent the money on themselves.
Meanwhile, researchers at the US’s National Institute of Health demonstrated a link between charitable giving and activation in the part of the brain associated with pleasure, triggering the release of endorphins or “happiness hormones”, which cause what scientists refer to as the “helper’s high”.
And if we spend on others in a way that builds relationships, so much the better. Harvard Business School’s Aknin did an experiment in which she gave people $10 Starbucks gift cards and asked some to spend the card on themselves, others to give the card to someone else, and still others to use the card to take someone out for a coffee. The happiest group was the one that had been able to spend on others while spending time with them – the combination of altruism and connection upped their happiness levels.
So does money make us happier? Well, yes and no. We need enough to cover our basic needs, and a rising salary can impact our wellbeing, but we also need to remember the positive effects of generosity and building relationships. Perhaps our focus should be less on how much money we have, and more on how we use it.
Q:
Can money buy happiness?
Your viewpoints about money?
Are rich people happier?
How to be happy?
What do you think this saying that “spending
money on others is linked to wellbeing?”
What factors that make people unhappy?
如何避免爭執?
10 Tips to Help Avoid Ugly Arguments psychologytoday
Every couple argues. Some of them do it overtly by yelling at each other while others do it covertly by avoiding contact and conversation. Whatever the method, the result is the same - hurt feelings and disenchantment. Here are my tips to help you argue constructively. If done correctly arguing can be a pathway to growth and problem solving.
Understand that anger itself is not destructive. There is a vast difference between anger and rage. When someone is angry they need to state their feelings, they don't break things or relationships - that is ragefull behavior.
Talk about your feelings before you get angry. When you or your partner can approach the situation as it happens and deal with it in a safe way, it may not get to the point of being an argument. Sometimes things just need to be verbalized and most arguments can be avoided if your partner understands how you feel.
Don't raise your voice. It's amazing how issues of hurt feelings or differences can be resolved with a whisper. I counsel couples who are yellers to only communicate with a whisper and it greatly reduces the anger factor in their relationships.
Don't threaten your relationship. And don't take every argument as a threat to your relationship. This type of emotional blackmail puts the other partner in a panic/flight or flight mode. While you're telling them you want to leave, they may be making plans to find a roommate. In addition, they may be so devastated by the thought of losing their family they can go into a deep depression and be unable to give you what it is you need.
Don't stockpile. This is where you bring up issues from the past to use as a hammer against whatever problem your partner has asked for help with. Deal with their issue first and if you really have unresolved feelings from past problems talk about them at another time.
Don't avoid your anger. If you stuff your feelings long enough you will explode and say or do things that you will regret. Anger does not diminish love, you can be angry with those you love. In fact the ones we love hurt us the most because we love them the most.
Create a process for resolving problems without anger. Start by each of you taking five minutes to state your feelings, then take a twenty minute break to think about things and come back to the table for another ten minutes to discuss how you think you can best deal with the problem. Also, know that it's okay if the problem doesn't get solved right away.
Abuse is NEVER allowed. This includes verbal abuse, any type of violence including slamming doors, breaking plates or hitting. If your arguments escalate to this level you need to leave the house. If one partner ever hits another a police report needs to be made and an appointment with a therapist is mandatory.
Don't engage. Remember that negative attention is still attention. If your partner tries to goad you into an argument, simply don't go there. Some people actually like to argue because it gives them a temporary feeling of power and gratification. Avoid being sucked into their need for attention.
Listen to your body. When you are angry your body releases chemicals that may cause you to react in ways that can be destructive to you, your partner and your relationship. Learn to understand your feelings and how the process of anger effects you physically and emotionally.
Q:
How to avoid ugly arguments?
How to avoild conflicts with your coworkers?
How resolve misunderstanding?
How to improve you problem solving skills?
How to control your anger?
Why bring up the issues from the past bad
for relationship?
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