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It Doesn't Matter What Other People Think Of You
Kat George bustle.com
It can be really hard not to worry what other people think about you. Wanting to be liked, and approved of, and smiled at, and applauded is a fairly basic need among modern humans, especially those who have their actual basic needs already met. When you're getting all of those much-wanted things, it's fabulous. You should most definitely let the love and support of family, friends, and romantic partners build you up and make you feel good and cared for, because that's how that's intended to go.
Because the only person that needs to like you is you
It doesn't matter what other people think of you because they don't have to live with you. You are the only person who has to live with you. Thus, you are the only person whose judgement you need to be concerned with when you're making decisions. You're the only person who has to like you because you're stuck with you. Your annoying neighbors can shut the door and avoid you in the halls, but you're going home with you and theirs nothing you can do about that. So prioritize what you think about you and forget everyone else.
Because their criticism of you is rarely about you at all
What someone thinks about you typically has nothing to do with you—it's a reflection on them. When someone judges you, you can rest assured that their opinions are based on nothing but their perception of themselves and their own insecurities. For instance, if you wear something and someone has something to say about it (like "that's too revealing" or some other precious vestige of the past) they're either jealous that they aren't confident enough to wear the same thing, upset that seeing you look awesome is triggering feelings of attraction that they have no recourse for ("I now want to touch you but I can't so I'm going to call you a whore because logic!"), their moral code (repeat: THEIR moral code) is offended, or anything else that is going on WITH THEM that has very little to do with you in any tangible sense. They've decided to feel a certain way, and you have no control over what other people decide to do.
Because you shouldn't need other people to validate you
Too often, we look outward for validation that we are enough and that we're doing a good job at existing, but, as I've said, other people are stupid. They're also mean, self-absorbed, judgmental and pretentious, so seeking validation from other people is as futile as it is self-defeating. Why would you even want the approval of people? People suck. People cheat and lie and steal and start wars and squeeze their pimples on public transport and chew with their mouths open. Ask yourself how YOU feel about what you're doing. If you feel good then that's all the validation you need.
Because no one really knows your life
When people pass judgment, they do so from a very superficial, outside perspective. You can never really know anyone else's life. You don't know how they're hurting, what motivates them, or what is going on in their head. No one knows why you are the way you are, or why you act the way you do, and when people pass value judgments, they're just that. No one knows how happy doing something makes you, or if you do something because of some childhood trauma, if your dreams drive you, or if you're just weird and like to be weird. So to hell with them. They don't know you. You know you. So you do you.
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The Weirdest Sixth Senses Humans Have
By XJ Selman XJ Selman
Every attempt to prove that humans have some kind of telepathic sixth sense shows it to be complete bullshit. But we still shouldn't sell ourselves short -- we have all sorts of "extra" senses that we either never use or don't notice when we do. And some of them come pretty damned close to mind reading. For instance ...
We Can Smell People's Personalities and Emotions
In a perfect world, you'd never judge someone until you got to know their personality inside and out -- you know, the whole thing about judging a book by its cover. This is not a perfect world, however -- this is a world where sometimes we need to judge the intentions of a stranger in a split second. Thankfully, evolution has given us all sorts of tools for doing it, whether we know it or not.
See, there is a reason you can get a feel for some people before they even say a word: Part of it is the way they smell. And no, we don't mean "That guy gave me the creeps because he smelled of human feces and burnt matches." We're talking about subconscious signals you didn't even know were coming from your nose. Researchers actually conducted a study where they asked participants to wear the same shirt every night for three consecutive nights, and during the study they weren't allowed to use soap, deodorant or anything that could mask their natural smell. Afterward, they made another group smell these shirts, and then asked them to guess which personality traits its wearers had most: dominance, neuroticism or extroversion.
Incredibly, the accuracy rate was just as high as when the same participants were asked to gauge people's personalities from watching a video of them. That's right -- your body odor is just as indicative of who you are as your speech or mannerisms. But it goes further than that. Researchers are discovering that each person's individual smell is so unique that it's almost like a fingerprint, unique enough that it could serve as a really unpleasant alternative to DNA analysis. Here's hoping that whatever detection method they come up with involves a machine of some kind so we don't have to conduct lineups by sniffing a bunch of underwear.
Or maybe we could just sniff the suspects and see which one seems the most nervous. Yeah, your nose can do that, too -- researchers did another study where they strapped a bunch of gauze pads to participants' armpits to collect their sweat while they watched horror movies. Then they taped the fear-sweat-soaked gauze under the noses of a second set of participants. Those subjects were then shown pictures of faces with completely blank expressions, and scientists found that people exposed to the "fear" sweat were more likely to guess that the expressionless faces were fearful.
Another study was done where they collected the sweat from treadmill runners and compared it with the sweat from skydivers. The skydiver sweat, presumably loaded with terror essence, was shown to light up areas of the brain associated with fear, while the runners' sweat simply smelled awful. At this point we assume that everyone went home and showered for three hours.
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