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「情商」是成功關鍵
Your EQ, not Your IQ, is Your Key to Success and Happiness
By Lisa Smith, MHt, NLP, CC
For a long time, one's IQ (Intelligence Quotient) was considered the leading determinant of success (financial and personal). However, as more studies looked into the lifestyles and success factors of those with high IQ's, it became clear that this theory did not bear itself out. Many with high IQs had lives that were filled with work and relationship failures.
In 1995, a new concept in success and happiness was introduced in a book by Daniel Goleman called "Emotional Intelligence." In what was labeled "a groundbreaking concept," Goleman coined the term "emotional intelligence" and defined it as the ability to develop and sustain loving relationships with others, be highly self-aware yet have empathy for people and situations outside of themselves, and have a strong sense of altruism--giving back.
Based on brain and behavioral research, people with high EQ were shown to be those who truly succeeded in their work and personal lives, establishing flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships.
As humans, we are highly emotional beings. We tend to run more off of our emotions than our intellect. I see this all the time in my hypnotherapy and coaching clients. Logically, what they are doing doesn't make sense, yet they continue to do it anyway and don't know how to stop.
What we are creating in our lives is the result of actions and our actions are based on our emotions. We tend to act more on things that are charged with emotion (E-Motion = Energy in Motion). Therefore, it makes sense that the ability to feel, identify, communicate, use, learn from, and manage our emotions will allow us to navigate life more easily and create more of what we want in our lives and less of what we don't.
Whether one's EQ is genetic and fixed or can be developed as children or even adults is still under debate. However, I am of the opinion that it can be developed with good resources and training. Why do I believe this? Because I have worked with hundreds of clients to do just that and have seen great transformations occur as a result.
Questions:
Do you believe that our EQ is key to success and happiness?
Is EQ genetic or can be developed?
Is IQ fixed or can be developed?
IQ or EQ: which one is more important?
People have higher IQ or higher EQ who have a strong sense of altruism? Why?
What are the factors for success?
How to manage our emotions?
Can we really improve our emotional intelligence?
Can having a high IQ/EQ be bad?
What are the factors for happiness?
挖金礦的女人
Warning Signs You’re Dating a Gold Digger (joanncohen.com)
Here are warning signs I’ve observed that mean your new girlfriend might be a gold digger:
She’s overly interested in what you do for a living.
It’s normal for questions about your career to come up early on in the relationship. After all, you are getting to know each other. What’s not normal is to date a girl who right off the bat wants to know every detail about how much money you make. Even if she doesn’t blatantly ask this question, she could be fishing for an answer with a myriad of more subtle questions like what car you drive, what kind of vacations you take, where you shop for clothes, and what your house is like.
She never pays for anything.
Culturally, it’s common for men to pick up the tab on date night. However, as your relationship progresses, a “normal” girl will at least offer to pay for her half of dinner or coffee instead of always assuming you’ll get it. Gold diggers will conveniently “leave their wallet at home” or disappear to the bathroom right as the check comes.
She’s always in some kind of financial crisis.
Not only does the gold digger actively avoid paying for anything, she’s also highly likely to ask you for money. It’s typical for romantic partners to help each other out once in a while when they need it, but this usually doesn’t happen until they’ve been together quite a while. Gold diggers, however, will spin a tale of hardship and woe early on in a relationship, asking for money to help out with basic bills while continuing to freely spend cash on frivolous purchases that help them “keep up appearances.”
She has very expensive taste.
Most girls love being pampered and treated like a princess. Most men enjoy getting to be that “knight in shining armor” making her dreams come true. But gold diggers take this too far by expecting everything given to her to be top-of-the-line, designer, exclusive, and expensive. In fact, she will likely be offended if every date doesn’t include a huge bouquet, a ritzy dinner, and a sparkly token of your affection.
She doesn’t use “please” and “thank you.”
A gold digger only values material possessions in your relationship. She expects and does not appreciate the things you do get her without doing anything for you. Many times, she will be visibly disappointed and even angry if your gifts aren’t as extravagant as she feels she deserves.
Questions:
How to tell if your girlfriend is a gold digger?
What are the signs that your girlfriend is a gold digger?
Why are girls so materialistic these days?
What would you choose? Love or money?
Where do you draw the line when your girlfriend or boyfriend asks for a financial help?
How do you find out if your girlfriend loves you or not?
What to do if you find she is using you/he is using you?
How to deal with a sugar daddy?
班級第十名易當老闆 「情商」高是成功關鍵
在美國，人們流行一句話：「智商（IQ）決定錄用，情商（EQ）決定提升」。很多國際知名的大公司在錄取一些關鍵職位時，都要採用EQ測試。（圖片來源：Fotolia）
【大紀元2013年04月16日訊】（大紀元記者夏曉言綜合報導）
學習成績最優秀的學生，是不是將來當老闆的機會更大？3月26日晚，台灣中央大學管理學院知名教授林子銘作客大陸的武漢長江工商學院時，面對台下百餘名想創業的學子稱：班級排名第十的學生比較容易當老闆。原因是情商高。
荊楚網報導，林子銘教授說，台灣的商業雜誌調查發現，一般大型企業的老闆不會是班級的第一名，通常都是第十名。
林教授分析： 「第十名的學生無論是智商還是資歷都是中上等的，但是這類學生不會被分數控制，有更多的精力去涉獵更多的知識，抗壓能力比較強，而且人脈比較廣。」即所謂的「情商」較高。這樣的學生具備謀略學的六要素，即智能、情緒、逆境、社會、文化、意志，這也是創業所必須的。
「吃飯老插隊的人、開車總想著超車的人都不會成功，因為他們過於自私。在一個人的成長過程中，愛是最重要的。」林子銘教授建議：「大學生要培養自己的愛心，學會關心他人，在學好專業知識的同時，不斷提升自己的情商。」
情商高的人容易成功
情商（EQ），一個相對智商（IQ）而言的心理學概念，是情緒的商數，或稱情緒智慧、情緒智商；指人的樂觀與悲觀，急躁與冷靜，大膽與恐懼，沉思與直覺等情緒反應的程度。
美國著名心理學家的丹尼爾•戈爾曼對情商進行了5個方面的概括：1、瞭解自我；2、自我管理；3、自我激勵；4、識別他人的情緒；5、處理人際關係，調控自己與他人的情緒反應的技巧。
戈爾曼在他的《情緒智力EQ》一書中提出，一個人的成功，只有20%是靠智商（IQ），而80%則是憑藉情商（EQ）。
一個針對全美國前五百大企業員工所做的調查發現，不論產業類別為何，一個人的IQ和EQ對他在工作上成功的貢獻比例為IQ：EQ＝1：2。也就是說對於工作成就而言，EQ的影響是IQ的兩倍；而且職位愈高，EQ對工作表現的影響就愈大。
來看一個真實的例子。有一個青年，在美國某石油公司工作，學歷不高，沒有特長，他的工作連小孩都能勝任，那就是每天反覆好幾百次巡視並確認石油罐有沒有自動焊接好。不幾天，他便厭煩了，但為了使工作有所突破，他更集中精神觀察這焊接工作。當他發現每運轉一次，焊接劑就滴落39滴之後，進行了多次實驗與研究，最終發明了「38滴型」焊接機，他的發明為公司帶來了每年5億美元的新利潤。這青年就是後來美國的石油大王約翰•洛克菲勒。
一個情商（EQ）高的人，無論求學還是做事，不需要外在動力，均靠自發自動，這樣即使其智商（IQ）不比別人高，但成績卻可以比別人好。
美國曾公佈了一份權威調查，顯示了美國近20年來政界和商界成功人士的平均智商僅在中等，而情商卻很高。
《21世紀報》報導，美國的一項對733位擁有數百萬美元的富翁所做的調查顯示，對他們的成功起作用的前幾位因素均為「誠實地對待所有的人」、「嚴格地遵守紀律」以及「與人友好相處」等被稱為情商的因素。
香港富商李嘉誠也曾講過，在他經商的道路上，有助於他面對現實生活中各種錯綜複雜的問題，對他的成功起著很大作用的也是情商。
在美國，人們流行一句話：「智商（IQ）決定錄用，情商（EQ）決定提升」。很多國際知名的大公司在錄取一些關鍵職位時，都要採用EQ測試。
現在，不少學者認為，情商是用於預測一個人能否取得職業成功或生活成功的有效指標，反映個體的社會適應性。看來，一個人要想獲得成功，首先要提升個人的內在品質才行。
(責任編輯：大紀元 江啟明)
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