秋天是感性的季節 也是感恩的季節
本來想辦個戶外活動紀念Sherry 因此以紀念Sherry為名 Sherry以往是辦活動的高手 也喜歡potluck party 感謝她
10/11 星期日 下午5:00 Billy 提供免費飲料 點心 歡迎您來聯誼交流 (potluck party 請記得每人請帶一道餐來分享) (也有個主題讓好友們聊聊 ---如何更增進英文說的能力?)
聚餐地點:
板橋區文化路段421巷11弄1號 (陽光甜味咖啡館)
新埔捷運站1號出口 旁邊7-11巷子進入20公尺 看到夏朵美髮
左轉 聚會時間7:00pm--9:30pm
Reasons Why We Get Angry changingminds.org
Anger is a dangerous emotion, both for others and possibly for ourselves, yet it is very common and very human. Here are four types of anger that appear in four different situations.
When a person is suddenly attacked, then the primitive fight-or-flight reaction is triggered., for which a boost of adrenaline gives power to muscles. To fight, you need to be quick and hit hard. To run away, speed and agility are also of the essence.
An initial emotional response to threat is fear, which gives motivation to run away. If the person is cornered or flight seems unwise (such as where reputation matters), then fighting may seem a better option. While fear can lead to the courage of desperation, it is not the best emotion for fighting. This is a reason why fear often turns to anger and the defensive person may appear as an aggressor.
When one person uses aggressive anger as a persuasive tool and the other turns to defensive anger then a loud argument may ensue. If the person defending turns to individual attack as a distraction or as retribution, then a pattern of alternating attack and defense may appear. In this way the original subject of discussion may get lost as the fight becomes personal.
When a person breaks these rules we may well feel an angry sense of betrayal and moral outrage, seeing the person as being bad and deserving of harsh punishment. Even single transgressions may receive severe treatment when the crime is considered to be particularly selfish or uncaring.
Moral outrage is a common tool of newspapers and other media who amplify transgressions with emotive language to trigger widespread anger at target people. Outrage is also a tool of power in politics, religion and elsewhere in life, where individuals effectively say 'If you are not also angry then you are a bad person.' This is a 'with us or against us' false dilemma technique, intended to force others into agreement.
When we achieve out goals, as well as the material benefits we gain a sense of satisfaction or delight as our need for a sense of control is satisfied. When things do not go to plan then we quickly become frustrated and angry. This is why traffic jams, for example, are so annoying. When things happen over which we have no control and which stop us achieving our intent then we tend to vent our anger verbally and on those around us, for example in bad driving and 'road rage'.
Deliberately frustrating others is an act of control that demonstrates power and seeks status. When others block our actions, refuse permission or withdraw resources, we feel angry but may not be able to show it as to do so might attract further unkindness.
Frustration is a key source of stress and yet we still let it happen, as to take less stressful action is to admit a loss of control. We may direct anger inward, criticizing ourselves for lack of planning or preparation. We may also project our anger onto others, even those who are clearly innocent yet just happen to be nearby.
Q:
What are reasons why you get angry?
Do you easily lose temper? How to control your emotion
Do the reports from newspapers and other media make you angry?
What are the ways to cope with frustration?
What to do when you've made someone angry?
How to calm down someone when he/she upset?
快樂的秘密
Secrets of being happy By Linda Kelsey for MailOnline
ENJOY WHAT YOU DO
Happy people do what they enjoy and enjoy what they do — and don’t do it for the money or glory. There’s no point being stuck in a job you hate, surrounded by unfriendly colleagues just because the money is good — people forget that they are allowed to be happy at work, too. Many spend the best years of their lives trying to make money, sacrificing their health and family in the process, says Dr Garcia Vega. Later, they spend the same money they made working trying to recover their lost health and estranged family.
LIVE FOR TODAY
Don’t dwell on the past, on things that went wrong or previous failures. Similarly, don’t dream about an idealised future that doesn’t exist or worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Happy people live for the now; they have positive mind sets. If you can’t be happy today, what makes you think tomorrow will be different?
STAY BUSY
If you want to be happier, develop an outgoing, social personality — accept that drinks invitation, join the walking club, book group or choir. The best way to savour pleasure is in the company of others. Build a rich social life, says Eunkook M. Suh, a psychology professor at Yonsei University in Seoul, not as an obligation, but because it is rewarding, meaningful and fun.
Active, busy, social people are the healthiest and happiest, in society. Get involved: make your motto ‘use it or lose it.’
In the World Book Of Happiness, Leo Bormans has drawn together research from the world's leading experts on the psychology of happiness
In the World Book Of Happiness, Leo Bormans has drawn together research from the world's leading experts on the psychology of happiness
DON'T COMPARE
Ambition is healthy and makes people happy, explains Claudia Senik, a professor at the University of Paris-Sorbonne, but envy makes them unhappy. Yet comparisons with others can spoil the benefits of ambition and are only useful if you learn something from them. Focus on your goals and dreams so you can enjoy your ambition and achievements.
STOP WORRYING
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Happy people don’t worry and they recognise that 90 per cent of worries never come true.
Q:
What are your tips of being happy?
How to enjoy life?
Do you think that is good to stay busy?
“Ambition is healthy and makes people happy” so what is your ambition?
Why you should stop comparing yourself to others
How to live without fear and worry?
0 意見:
張貼留言